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LETTERS 


PROSE,  RHYME,  AND  BLANK-VERSE. 

..:.'-i 'A.  ...  '-A'-ii. 


LOUISE  ELEMJAY, 

A    LADY    OF     THE     SOUTH. 

>u-c  (*>£*» 


A  sigh,  a  smile,  and  folly's  tinkling  chime, 
These  are  our  footprints  on  the  sands  of  time. 


i--*     ^,   • 
» 

> 

CINCINNATI: 
MOORE,  ANDERSON,  WILSTACH  &  KEYS, 

28    WEST    FOURTH    STREET. 

1852. 


MONOLOGUE  WITH  THE  PURCHASER. 


JUST  please  to  lay  down  this  book,  Mr.  Borrower,  we 

don't  commit  black  and  white  for  you  to  read,  and 

shouldn't  be  propitiated  if  you  were  to  sit  up  the  whole 

blessed  night  to  sponge  a  perusal;   so  you  see,  friend 

§ti     Purchaser,  that  if  we  are  "tedious  as  a  king,"  we  in- 

>.     tend  you  to  have  the  entire  benefit  of  that  uncommon 

jjj     idiosyncracy.  * 

|l 

3         "  And  you  know  it  used  to  be  the  fashion  for  the  poor, 

craven,  fawning,  toady  of  an  author,  to  deprecate  the 

??    wrath  of  the  critics  in  a  good  set  speech,  anticipating 

w    and  admitting  their  righteous  verdict  of  denunciation, 

S    and  then  to  smooth  down  the  ruffled  plumage  of  the 

minor  literati,  or  reading  public,  with  a  plentiful  liba- 

<5     tion  of  stale,  fulsome  commonplace,  invariably  winding 

x     up  with  a  pathetic  appeal  for  toleration,  patronage,  and 

o     sympathy.     Mi-rdb-i-le!   Wouldn't  we  like  to  catch 

H 

tu     ourselves  at  anything  of  the  kind  in  "  this  ENLIGHTENED 
3     AGE  ? "     You  have  doubtless  good  sound  sense  and  lite- 
<     rary  taste,  or  you  wouldn't  have  bought  our  book ;  but 
as  to  the  general  enlightenment,  we  can't  speak  posi 
tively,  till  we  see  what  reception  it  gives  to  these  LETTERS 
and  MISCELLANIES. 

(iii) 


iv  MONOLOGUE   WITH   THE  PDKCHASEB. 

As  for  the  critics,  they  may  find  it  amusing  to  throw 
dust  into  other  people's  eyes,  but  we  don't — gold  dust 
more  particularly ;  and  as  for  making  "  the  fine 
fyea"  to  sweeten  their  cream-o'-tartar  visages,  that's 
out  of  the  question;  cause  why,  it's  much'  easier  for 
some  folks  to  make  ugly  faces  "  now-a-days,"  than 
pretty  ones.  And  then,  the  supposition  of  their  ever 
looking  much  beyond  the  title-page  of  one-half  the 
books  they  undertake  to  praise  or  berate  so  unmercifully, 
is  so  refreshingly  verdant,  that  it  would  be  cruel  to  tan 
talize  the  locusts  and  caterpillars  by  any  such  preten 
sion!  So,  you  see,  there  is  no  help  for  it — they  will 
e'en  have  to  abuse  us  to  their  heart's  content;  though 
our  own  private  opinion  (publicly  expressed)  is,  that 
they  will  feel  far  more  fatigued  than  satisfied,  when  they 
have  done ;  for  we  intend  to  go  right  off  to  an  insurance 
office^  and  then  if  we  are  "  killed  with  a  criticism,"  it 
will  be  a  matter  for  the  stockholders  to  look  into. 

But,  only  think  now,  of  saying  GENTLE  READER,  to 
some  snarling,  vinegar-faced  cynic — telling  him  your 
book  is  infinitely  beneath  the  notice  of  his  high  mighti 
ness — yet  begging  and  beseeching  that  he  will  graciously 
please  to  read  and  condescend  to  praise  it,  nevertheless. 
"  Angels  and  ministers  of  grace  defend  us ! "  Does  the 
Public  ever  expect  us  to  "sin  our  poor  miserable  soul" 
after  that  fashion?  If  it  does,  it  needn't!  And  you 
wouldn't  have  us  to  jib  so  upon  any  account,  would  you  ? 
for,  certes,  you  must  know,  we  do  think  the  book  very 


MONOLOGUE   WITH   THE   PURCHASER.  V 

well  worth  your  time  and  money  too — otherwise  we 
should  feel  very  much  like  having  swindled  you  out  of 
that  dollar,  and  that  would  be  an  uncomfortable  sensa 
tion.  Not  but  that  you  may  be  used  to  such  operations, 
and  also  that  there  may  be  some  better  poetry,  and  even 
prose,  extant ;  though  ours  is  very  good — the  poetry  we 
mean — to  fill  up  the  pages  and  diversify  their  appear 
ance  ;  so,  on  the  whole,  it  is  pretty  confidently  expected 
that  you  will  find  yourself  exceedingly  well  entertained,  for 
the  time  being,  by  these  random  gleanings  from  the  past: 
Always  provided  you  don't  dash  them  down  in  a  fury, 
the  first  time  a  wipe  of  the  pen  happens  to  come  across  any 
of  your  sectional,  sectarian,  or  political  prepossessions. 
Don't  do  it,  friend  ;  in  the  first  place,  it's  undignified, 
very,  unless  you  happen  to  be  a  philosopher,  in  which 
case  you  can  say,  "/£'s  enough  to  provoke  a  saint"  and 
then  rave  as  much  as  you  like ;  in  the  second,  it  won't 
alter  the  type,  or  the  facts,  or  the  author's  opinion  in  the 
least;  and  then  again,  a  woman  being  never  very  cele 
brated  for  knowing  her  own  mind  long  at  a  time,  it's 
just  possible  you  may  find  a  recantation,  if  you  only 
keep  on.  That  depends,  though,  on  whether  the  subject 
comes  up  again  of  its  own  accord,  for  our  readers  being 
sensible,  can  not  of  course  expect  us  to  go  out  of  the 
way  merely  to  say,  We  are  a  vast  deal  wiser  now  than 
we  were  twenty  years  ago  /  for  where  is  the  use  of  being 
tossed  up  and  down  the  world  like  Sancho  Panza  in  his 
blanket,  if  there  is  nothing  to  be  learned  in  the  process  ? 


Vl  MONOLOGUE  WITH  THE   PURCHASES. 

But,  whatever  you  do,  don't  worry  yourself  about 
identity  or  venue,  for  if  ever  you  come  to  the  conclusion 
that  both  are  transparent  as  gossamer,  the  chances  are, 
just  then,  very  much  in  favor  of  your  having  mystified 
yourself  most  beautifully.  Not  that  there's  anything 
special  to  conceal,  or  that  we  haven't  a  perfect  right  to 
put  ourselves  in  a  pillory,  unmasked,  for  your  edifica 
tion  ;  but  then  we  don't  choose  all  our  acquaintance  to 
feel  that  their  daguerreotypes  have  been  stolen  and 
hawked  up  and  down  the  country ;  so,  if  you  chance  to 
belong  to  "  that  useful  and  ingenious  class  of  citizens 
who  prefer  minding  everybody's  business  beside  their 
own,"  just  thank  your  kind,  and  our  "  contrary -minded  " 
stars,  for  having  given  you  a  peep  into  somebody's  pri 
vate  correspondence,  and  some  little  insight  into  matters 
and  things  which  don't  concern  you  in  the  least. 

"But,  oh  !  my  heart  is  sad,  and  my  lips  are  mute, 
As  I  yield  up  to  censure  the  dreams  of  my  youth, 

Whose  warblings  brought 
Shadows  of  beauty  to  whisper  with  me, 
Love,  hope,  feeling,  and  fantasy, 

From  the  realms  of  thought!" 

However,  one's  courage  may  be  "  screwed  up  to  the 
sticking  point,"  and  you  are  just  as  welcome  as  your 
neighbor,  so  "take  the  goods  the  gods  have  provided, 
and  be  thankful  1 " 

Yours,  as  you  demean  yourself, 

THE  AUTHOR,  or,  if  you  insist,  THE  WRITEKESS. 

Sharon,  Mississippi,  1852. 


CONTENTS. 


PAGB 
MONOLOGUE  with  the  Publisher  ................................       3 

CONTENTS  ...................................................  7 

LETTER    I.      First  Impressions  of  Virginia  ....................  9 

LETTEE   II.     Virginia  Hospitality,  etc  ........................  20 

LETTER  III.    Desultory  Gossip  ...............................  31 

LETTER   IV.    Light  and  Shade  ...............................     35 

Farewell  to  a  Friend  ..........................     40 

LETTER    V.      Advice  and  Remonstrance  .......................     41 

Elegiac  Lines  ................................     48 

LETTER    VI.    Supplement  to  the  preceding  one  .................     49 

Epithalamium  ................................     55 

LETTER    VII.  Metaphysics  and  other  Vagaries  ..................     56 

That  other  Home  .............................     60 

LETTER  VIII.  Strictures  on  Sectarian  Creeds  ....................     61 

Orphanage  ...................................     75 

LETTER  IX.    Objections  to  Texan  Adventure  in  1834  ...........     79  - 

LETTER    X.      New  England  Abstractions  ...............  .  ......     86 

My  Common-place  Book  .......................     98 

My  last  Lesson  in  Mathematics  .................  101 

The  Oak  Sapling  —  An  Apologue  ................  102 

LETTER  XI.    Everything  in  general  and  Nothing  in  particular.  ..  109 
LETTER  XII  .   Gossip  with  an  old  Schoolmate  ...................   117 

LETTER  XIII.  On  the  Decease  of  a  favorite  Brother  ..............  126 

"They  may  deem  'tis  the  Love  of  Another"  .....  132 

WHAT  is  TRUTH  ?  ..............................  132 

(vii) 


Vlll  CONTENTS. 

PAOB 

.-LETTER  XIV.  Nonsense,  Tennessee,  and  Slavery 135 

Reminiscence 158 

To  the  Loved  in  Heaven 162 

Fourth  of  July  Address  to  the  Sons  of  Temperance.   163 

Midnight  Musings 169 

Fragment 172 

"  Fail,  fail — it  dare  not  think  to  fail" 172 

LETTEE    XV.    ON  THE  DEATH  OF  A  YOUNG  LADY  killed  by  the  acci 
dental  explosion  of  a  rocket 174 

To  Cecilia  in  Heaven 183 

LETTER  XVI.  To  an  unfortunate  and  misguided  Friend 184 

LINES  suggested  by  an  old  Print 192 

LETTER  XVII.  "  To  a  Young  Lawyer  in  "Washington" 193 

LETTER XVIII.  Personalities  and  Matters  and  Things  in  general. . .  214 
DEMAND  for  a  SONG 249 

LETTER  XIX.    Salmagundi  of  Gossip  and  Autobiography 250 

"THE  HOME  FEVER."     By  A.  J.Pickering 272 

EVELYN 275 

A  L'  OUTRANGE 276 

PASS  ON .277 


k*.* 


LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES, 


LETTER  I. 

FIRST  IMPRESSIONS   OF   VIRGINIA. 

TO    J.    S.     AND    NIECE. 

Eagle  Eyrie,  Va.,  Aug.  19,  1828  or  9.* 

MY  DEAR  UNCLE  AND  SISTER, 

You  will  no  doubt  be  surprised  at  my  date,  but  it  is 
even  so  —  here  I  am  on  the  banks  of  old  Powhatan, 
though,  with  my  eyes  closed,  I  can  scarce  realize  that  I 
am  not  still  standing  on  the  soil  of  my  native  state. 

As  no  satisfactory  explanation  of  this  singular  de 
parture  from  the  original,  or  rather  ostensible  plan  of 
travel  can  be  given,  suffice  it  to  say  that  such  was  Mr. 
B  -  's  pleasure  ;  and  further  that  the  contre-temps  of 
the  first  twenty-four  hours,  were  a  most  appropriate 
prelude  to  the  whole  performance.  It  was  not  indeed 
productive  of  any  incident  peculiarly  disastrous;  but 
abounded  in  petty  annoyances  sufficient  to  rouse  apathy 
itself  into  rage;  being,  as  they  generally  were,  the  re 
sult  of  B  -  's  excellent  contrivance,  and  his  laudable 
effort,  to  see  Tww  disgusting  a  "  would  be  wit,  and  can't 
be  gentleman,"  could  render  himself,  by  enacting  at 
sixty  the  beau  of  nineteen. 


*  Dates  omitted  in  first  copy,  are  now  doubtful. 


10  LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

"We  left  Geneva  at  the  time  appointed,  spent  two 
days  in  Utica,  as  many  more  inspecting  the  notabili 
ties  of  Albany  and  its  vicinity,  visited  Troy,  Lansing- 
burgh,  the  Falls  of  the  Cohoes;  and  last,  not  least, 
attended  service  in  a  neat  country  church,  imbosomed 
in  one  of  the  loveliest  groves  man  ever  consecrated  to 
his  Maker.  It  was  a  perfect  gem  of  beauty ;  but  that 

is  nothing  to  B 's  encomium — namely,  that  the 

officiating  clergyman  "  never  varied  but  once  (and  that 
was  probably  a  lapsus  linguae)  from  HIS  standard  of 
pronunciation"  If  that  isn't  honor  enough,  his  reve 
rence  must  have  a  very  inordinate  share  of  vanity ;  so 
I  suppress  all  names  for  fear  of  endangering  his  humi 
lity.  It  will  never  do,  though,  to  omit,  among  other  un 
important  items,  a  flying  call  on  the  father,  brother,  and 
cousins  of  the  learned  critic.  "We  dined  with  one  of 
the  latter,  and  despite  my  predetermination  to  dislike 
the  whole  kith  and  kin,  found  some  of  them  extremely 
polite  and  inteligent;  all  wealthy,  respectable,  and  much, 
very  much  more  agreeable  than  could  have  been  ex 
pected,  judging  from  the  specimen  previously  exhibited 
of  the  family. 

August  1st,  we  left  for  New  York ;  but  taking  Hud 
son  en  route,  did  not  arrive  until  the  evening  of  the  2d. 
On  the  following  morning,  I  had  the  pleasure  of  hear 
ing  the  old  man  (I  can't  find  it  in  my  heart  to  call  him 
gentleman)  announce  his  intention  of  proceeding  to 
Virginia  in  the  first  packet  that  sailed  for  Norfolk. 
Remonstrance  was  useless,  so  I  at  length  signified  my 
intention  to  remain  as  long  as  I  saw  good — that  is, 
until  I  had  seen  all  the  lions — unless  he  condescended 
to  assign  a  reason,  for  this  unexpected  procedure.  He 
had  only  a  pretext,  submission  had  to  follow  of  course, 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  11 

so  finding  my  power  absolute,  and  knowing  that  it  must 
inevitably  be  short ;  I  resolved  (as  any  good  lover  of 
authority  would)  to  make  the  most  of  it  while  it  lasted. 
And  verily  the  way  in  which  I  proclaimed  and  executed 
my  own  good  will  and  pleasure  for  three  consecutive 
days,  would  have  done  honor  to  the  Grand  Seignior,  or 
the  Autocrat  of  all  the  Eussias.  Never  was  city  more 
thoroughly  reconnoitered  in  the  same  length  of  time  by 
a  single  individual.  Paul  Pry  himself  could  not  have 
exceeded  me  in  ferreting  out  things  worthy  to  be  looked 
at ;  and  I  believe  the  sexagenarian's  brain  fairly  reeled 
with  the  rapidity  of  my  evolutions ;  for  if  he  didn't  find 
the  full  significance  of  imperium  ad  irnperio,  illustrat 
ed — much  to  the  benefit  of  future  scholastics  no  doubt — 
in  a  way  he  never  imagined  before,  I  am  much  mistaken. 
"  Transit  gloria"  must  have  consoled  him  though,  for 
even  the  Czar  has  only  a  quarter  of  a  century,  and  I 
had  considerably  less;  so  my  last  act  of  absolutism 
("  oh  lame  and  impotent  conclusion")  was,  declining  to 
take  passage  in  the  dirty  old  vessel  which  the  dirt- 
loving  old  Dutchman  had  selected — for  the  sake  of 
cheapness  I  presume — and  pronounced  "  nice  and  ele 
gant."  Fortunately  my  own  choice  fell  on  a  packet, 
whose  owner  was  going  out  to  see  how  she  made  her 
first  trip;  and  he,  being  an  acquaintance  of  one  of 
"mine  hostess' "  boarders,  was  brought  round  to  Court- 
landt  street  and  introduced.  This  all  sounds  very  puerile 
and  commonplace;  yet  but  for  this  apparently  trivial  inci 
dent,  I  should  have  been  left  entirely  without  protection. 
There  had  been  fires  in  the  city  for  two  nights  pre 
vious  ;  the  first,  which  destroyed  a  new  and  very 
valuable  block  of  buildings  on  Laurens  street,  did  not 
disturb  the  Benedict's  equanimity  in  the  least:  but  the 


12  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

seconed  -which  consumed  a  book  and  stationery  store 
containing  some  of  his  invaluable  works  on  Elementary 
Education — "for  the  use  of  schools  in  the  United  States 
and  Great  Britain" — so  "deranged  his  plans"  (for 
plans  read  feelings),  that  he  resolved  to  abandon  me  to 
the  care  of  strangers.  It  was  only  at  the  very  last 
minute  though,  that  this  caricature  of  a  man  came  into 
the  cabin,  exhausted  his  breath  and  his  rhetoric,  in  the 
delivery  of  as  many  "nice,"  plausible  little  "fibs"  as 
he  could  conveniently  invent,  and  then  took  his  leave. 
Grief  for  his  absence  did  not,  however,  prevent  my 
watching  the  green  islands  and  shores  that  rose  and  ex 
panded  to  view,  bright,  beautiful  as  youth's  earliest 
dream  of  happiness,  with  an  intensity  of  feeling  I  can 
neither  recall  nor  describe.  Unfortunately,  the  mood 
was  an  evanescent  one,  so  I  fell  to  calculating  how  long 
I  should  be  willing  to  be  lashed  to  a  mast  and  wet  to  the 
skin  for  the  sake  of  seeing  old  Nep.  in  a  magnificent 
fury.  Don't  scold  me,  I  was  tolerably  reasonable  after 
all ;  but  the  sparkling  waves  that  threw  their  light  spray 
gracefully  over  the  bow  of  the  boat,  intimated  pretty 
clearly  that  his  godship  had  no  idea  of  putting  himself 
in  a  passion  for  any  such  insignificant  mortal  as  myself, 
BO  I  went  below,  to  administer,  if  necessary,  to  the  com 
fort  of  another  lady  passenger,  who  was  by  this  time 
quite  sick — with  the  further  intention  of  preparing  my 
eyes  for  a  moonlight,  survey  of  the  waters,  by  closing 
them  against  an  hour  or  two's  sunshine — but  on  enter 
ing  the  cabin,  found,  to  my  surprise,  that  instead  of  ren 
dering,  I  had  to  receive  assistance,  and  soon  perceived 
the  rolling  of  the  vessel  to  be  as  complete  a  cure  for  ex 
cited  imagination,  as  I  had  imagined  the  latter  for  sea 
sickness.  Happily,  my  initiation  was  both  short  and 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  13 

slight — I  left  the  deck  about  eleven  o'clock  one  morning, 
and  returned  a  little  earlier  on  the  next.  Mr.  A.  the 
proprietor,  constructed  me  a  sort  of  arbor,  out  of  coats, 
cloaks,  and  umbrellas,  and  spared  no  pains  to  make  my 
passage  agreeable  as  possible.  Indeed,  I  soon  found  that 
I  had  fallen  into  excellent  hands  when  abandoned  to  his 
care.  His  quiet,  unobtrusive,  and  gentlemanly  manner, 
contrasted  admirably  with  the  never-ceasing  officiousness 
of  his  predecessor.  His  kindness  in  having  nie  set 
ashore,  (on  the  evening  of  the  12th,)  half  a  mile  below 
the ' '  Land  ing,"  spared  me  a  circuitous  and  fatiguing  walk 
to  Maj.  C.'s  residence — when  you  recollect  the  value  of  S 
a  fresh  breeze  after  a  calm,  you  will  appreciate  this  cour 
tesy  all  the  better — a  few  moments  then  brought  us  to  his 
door ;  I  was  introduced,  and  Mr.  A.  soon  after  bade  me 
farewell.  He  was  the  last  link  in  the  chain  of  my  New 
York  acquaintance,  and  his  departure  made  me  feel  at 
once  alone  in  a  land  of  strangers. 

Nothing,  however,  was  wanting  on  the  part  of  "  the 
Major,"  as  Mr.  0.  is  commonly  styled,  to  dissipate  this  S  . 
unpleasant  feeling ;  and  the  ladies  of  his  family,  four  in 
number,  evinced  so  much  kindliness  of  feeling,  and  hos 
pitality  of  intention,  that  I  soon  ceased  to  remark  what 
struck  me,  at  first,  as  the  somewhat  singular  manner  in 
which  it  was  developed.  One  of  these  "nine  hundred 
and  ninety-ninth  cousins,"  a  coarse,  good-natured,  and 
rather  good-looking passee,  with  more  diameter  of  ancle 
than  an  orthodox  belle  should  have,  is  the  individual 
alluded  to  by  B.,  as  the  "elegant  and  accomplished 
lady"  of  his  ex-excellency — at  least  I  infer  that  she  is, 
as  he  has  no  wife,  and  she  is  Madam,  the  mistress. 
The  children  are  all  from  home  at  present,  nor  are  they 
expected  to  return  for  several  months.  I  am  not  sorry 


14  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

to  have  some  leisure  for  reflection,  before  entering  on  an 
untried  experiment ;  but  fear  that  so  much  time  unem 
ployed,  will  cause  me  to  regret  more  and  more  having 
missed  the  pleasure  of  visiting  Philadelphia,  Baltimore, 
and  Washington,  according  to  my  original  expectation. 

Rather  than  waste  it  in  useless  repining,  I  will  employ 
a  small  portion  in  transporting  your  minds  to  my  present 
abode.  Gladly  would  I  do  it  with  the  same  grace  that 
Mr.  A.  transferred  me  to  the  fatherly  care  of  its  propri 
etor;  but  this  you  will  not  expect.  The  exterior  of  the 
domicil  is  rather  more  than  respectable,  though  merely 
wooden,  the  interior  exceeds  it,  perhaps,  in  the  estima 
tion  of  eyes  accustomed  to  its  style;  but  to  me,  the 
naked  floors,  waxed  and  polished  until  one  is  thrown 
into  a  nervous  fever,  by  constant  apprehension  of  a  fall 
and  conscious  inability  to  rise,  present  as  cheerless,  com 
fortless,  desolate  a  prospect,  as  one  would  wish  to  con 
template  in  his  most  misanthropic  hours.  The  walls  ap 
pear  to  have  been  painted  and  witewashed  in  days  of 
yore,  and  doubtless,  "  once  were  clean  and  may  be  so 
again,"  though  this  is  rather  problematical.  The  furni 
ture  is  scarce  and  plain,  and  seems  to  have  escaped  the 
fortunes  of  war  during  the  ravages  of  Cornwallis,  to  the 
end  it  might  become  a  resting-place  for  musquitoes ;  of 
which  Virginia  is  the  paradise. 

Now,  there  is  another  sentence  would  throw  Blair  into 
spasmodics ;  but  never  mind,  I  think  I  am  beyond  his 
jurisdiction  now,  and  shall  tack  appendages  to  sentences 
just  whenever  I  please. 

The  garden  is  indeed  a  southern  one,  in  the  profusion 
and  variety  of  its  shrubs  and  flowers;  their  absence 
might  cause  a  sigh  of  regret,  their  presence,  in  their 
present  location,  creates  a  pang  of  dissatisfaction.  The 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  15 

eminence,  too,  on  which  the  mansion  stands,  might  com 
mand  an  extensive  view  of  the  noble  river  that  washes 
its  base,  did  not  unsightly  trees  intercept  the  prospect, 
and  impede  the  descent.  Nature  has  done  everything 
for  the  place,  art  nothing !  It  wants  only  the  reforming 
hand  of  taste,  and  Eagle  Eyrie  might  become  a  scene  of 
surpassing  loveliness.  But  the  river — the  fairy  river — 
man  did  not  make,  he  has  not  marred  it!  It  has  not, 
indeed,  (not  at  this  point  at  least,)  the  bold  banks  and 
magnificent  scenery  of  the  Hudson;  which,  with  some 
of  the  loveliest  creations  that  ever  bore  the  impress  of 
divinity,  suspend  the  very  existence  of  the  beholder  in 
motionless  rapture  over  its  romantic  charm ;  but  beauty, 
beauty  is  written  on  the  lightest  curl  of  every  wave  that 
reflects  back  to  the  sunbeam  all  the  colors  of  the  rain 
bow;  yes,  "beauty  that  one  must  feel  and  see,  to  know 
how  beautiful  this  world  can  be." 

Unfortunately,  there  seems  to  be  less  moral  than  phy 
sical  loveliness,  extant  in  this  immediate  vicinity.  My 
acquaintance  is  veiy  limited  to  be  sure;  but  that  cir 
cumstance  alone  does  not  account  for  the  fact,  that  thus 
far  I  have  met  with  little  more  mental  cultivation  than 
the  first  colonists  did.  It  appears  to  me  that  among  the 
ladies,  at  least,  such  a  thing  as  a  literary  taste  is  a  per 
fect  nonentity.  It  would  seem  that  here,  the  simple 
birthright  of  freedom  entitles  the  possessor,  unless  very 
poor,  to  consider  himself  the  peer  of  the  proudest  in  the 
land ;  and  when  conjoined  with  wealth,  supersedes  the 
necessity  of  any  other  qualification  for  such  compan 
ionship:  but  you  may  tell  my  good  old  friend,  Mrs.  H., 
to  dismiss  all  uneasiness  on  my  account,  predicated  on 
suspicion  that  Virginia  is  an  "Infidel  State."  Nowhere 
is  the  name  of  religion  more  honored ;  and  if  she  does 
2 


16  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

occasionally  see  "  letters  from  pious  females"  and  "  tract 
distributors,"  purporting  to  come  from  this  State,  which 
speak  of  "taking  up  the  cross,"  "  being  steadfast  under 
persecution,"  and  "following  one's  Master  through  evil 
as  well  as  good  report,"  she  may  rest  assured  that  phra 
seology  (if,  indeed,  the  whole  be  not  a  "pious  fraud,") 
only  proves  the  writer  to  have  imbibed  a  sectarian  cant 
of  expression.  The  profession  of  religion  is  not  a  cross 
but  "a  crown;"  the  name  is  popular  whether  the  thing 
signified  is  common  or  not.  I  suppose  it  must  be  though, 
as  the  Baptists  and  Methodists  include,  I  am  told,  nearly 
all  the  respectable  population  of  this  and  the  adjoining 
counties,  in  their  respective  denominations.  I  was  rather 
in  hopes  to  have  made  acquaintance  with  the  "old 
Church  of  England ; "  but  as  near  as  I  can  learn,  it  seems 
to  have  gone  pretty  much  out  of  fashion  in  the  Old 
Dominion. 

I  have  attended  public  service  only  once  since  my  ar 
rival  ;  but  will  endeavor  to  give  you  some  idea  of  the 
performance.  To  begin  at  the  beginning,  the  appearance 
of  Maj.  C.'s  equipage  created  quite  a  sensation  you  must 
know;  clergyman,  gentleman,  negro,  and  clown,  all 
seeming  so  eager  to  render  every  needful  assistance,  that 
I  began  to  fear  we  should  have  to  remain  in  statu  quo 
for  the  rest  of  the  day.  I  was  mistaken,  however,  we 
were  at  length  handed  out  of  the  carriage,  and  into  the 
house.  This,  I  suspect,  must  have  been  built  in  reference 
to  a  certain  text  in  Exodus,  which  refers  to"  the  erection 
of  an  altar,  and  prohibits  the  use  of  tools  in  its  con 
struction.  It  is  simply  a  rough,  covered  frame,  one  story 
and  a  half  high,  with  a  small  window  in  the  rear  of  the 
desk;  but  no  other  convenience  (except  the  doors,)  for  the 
admission  of  air  and  light,  when  the  solid,  heavy  blinds 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  17 

are  closed  down.  The  seats  are  not "  fixtures,"  but  they 
are  in  admirable  keeping  with  the  residue  of  the  estab 
lishment.  No  sooner  had  the  congregation  become  sta 
tionary  than  an  old  gentleman  volunteered  to  edify  them 
by  the  exercise  of  his  vocal  powers,  and  commenced 
singing  "  Sweet  is  the  work,  my  God,  my  King,"  care 
fully  inserting  a  double  rest  between  every  note  of  the 
tune,  and  syllable  of  the  line.  When  Tie  had  disposed 
of  two  stanzas  in  this  way,  and  was  about  to  make  a 
desperate  attack  upon  a  third,  and  /  had  come  to  the 
commendable  resolution  of  abstracting  my  attention  from 
his  psalmody,  and  bestowing  it  on  the  manners  and  per 
sons  of  those  around  me,  the  Major  entered,  and  with 
a  voice,  as  your  friend  W.  G.  would  say,  "rich,  deep, 
and  melodious  as  the  harps  of  Heaven,"  succeeded  so 
far  in  neutralizing  the  leader's  performance,  that  I  for 
got  to  return  the.compliment  of  the  "assembled  worship 
ers,"  who,  I  since  learn,  manifested  a  most  laudable 
intention  of  familiarizing  their  optics  with  every  line  in 
the  combination  of  my  features,  and  every  thread  in  the 
texture  of  my  dress.  Singing  over,  the  "preacher,"  a 
cousin-gerinan  of  Sir  John  Falstaff,  judging  from  ap 
pearances,  commenced  a  discourse,  to  which  "  give  every 
devil  his  due,"  would  have  been  a  most  appropriate  pre 
fix;  and  proceeded  with  a  nasal  twang  which  would 
have  stamped  him  orthodox  in  the  days  of  the  Protecto 
rate.  But  alas  for  exacting  poor  human  nature,  too 
many  of  his  auditors — insiders  as  well  as  outsiders — 
instead  of  thriving  demurely  on  the  spiritual  food  dis 
pensed,  commenced  satiating  their  corporeal  appetites 
with  all  the  fruit  and  tobacco  within  their  reach.  And 
eyen  good  old  exemplars — like  the  very  pattern-hearer, 
who  was  "mighty  fond  of  preaching,  and  didn't  care 


18  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

much  what  it  was  so  it  was  only  preaching"  — 
getting  perhaps  a  little  jealous  of  monopoly,  contrived 
by  sundry  unctious  sighs,  groans,  and  "Amens"  to 
come  in  for  their  full  share  of  attention,  and  circumvent 
all  wicked  wights  who  might  feel  an  ungodly  curiosity 
to  know  what  the  speaker  really  was  saying ;  till  I,  for 
one,  was  quite  as  much  delighted  by  the  close  of  his 
remarks  as  you  can  possibly  be  by  that  of  my  comments. 
That  was  rather  ungrateful  though,  for  he  certainly  did 
originate  one  comparison  entirely  new  to  me — perhaps 
it  may  be  so  to  you,  so  I  repeat  it  for  the  benefit  of  all 
whom  it  may  concern:  "Religion,  or  grace,  is  like  a 
brick-bat  thrown  against  a  wall"  whose  repellent  pro 
perty  causes  it  to  "  fly  off  with  the  velocity  of  a  tan 
gent."  The  first  half  of  the  last  clause  gives  the  exact 
idea  in  a  condensed  form — the  residue  is  verbatim,  and 
the  only  legitimate  inference  from  the  preceding  remarks 
was,  that  nothing  but  "  racing,"  "  cursing,"  or  "  danc 
ing"  could  at  all  interfere  with  the  brick-bat  of  his 
comparison. 

Now  don't  send  me  a  full-grown  moral  lecture,  in 
return  for  this  sheriff-parson's  sermon  in  petto — it  was 
no  fault  of  mine  that  the  subject  was  so  irreverently 
treated.  While  on  collaterals,  I  must  not  omit  to  state, 
what  I  know  will  give  you  pleasure,  namely — that  my 
present  abode  is  one  in  which  the  "Family  altar"  is 
erected,  and  the  "  morning  and  evening  sacrifice"  duly 
offered  thereon  by  the  major,  who  appears  to  be  a  sincere 
Christian  though  his  early  religious  education  must  have 
been  somewhat  defective. 

Since  my  arrival  he  has  received  a  letter  from  B.,  who 
apologizes  to  him  for  leaving  me — states  his  "  infinite 
i egret  at  having  been  compelled  so  to  do;"  and  adds, 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  19 

that  he  "did  not  like  to  tell  me  (nor  any  one  else,  he 
might  have  said)  the  truth,  for  fear  of  alarming  my 
very  delicate  sensibilities."  "  Isae  doot  mon,"  had  I 
learned  for  the  first  time  in  the  morning,  that  there  had 
been  fire  in  the  next  street  the  evening  preceding,  I 
should  have  imagined  I  had  perished  in  the  flames! 
After  all,  I  believe  he  acted  in  strict  accordance  with 
his  original  plans ;  for  they,  I  presume,  may  be  much 
better  traced  by  their  developments  than  by  such  outlines 
as  he  pleases  to  give.  Candor,  not  to  say  veracity,  is 
altogether  too  vulgar  a  virtue  for  him  to  patronize,  it 
seems,  consequently  he  never  descends  to  fact,  when,  by 
any  species  of  legerdemain,  fiction  can  be  made  to 
answer.  Bah  !  Who  would  be  so  common-place  ?  Any 
simpleton  can  tell  the  truth  —  it  takes  a  man  of  talent, 
to  invent  and  sustain  a  well-digested  plausible  false 
hood —  and  don't  "marble  and  mahogany"  loom  up 
beautifully  in  moonshine  ? 

The  length  of  this  must  be  my  apology  for  addressing 
it  to  more  than  one ;  when  people  have  contracted  the 
bad  habit  of  writing  long  letters  they  cannot  of  course 
be  expected  to  manufacture  them  in  great  profusion. 
If  this  reflection  is  not  perfectly  satisfactory,  let  the 
aggrieved  party  give  this  a  second  perusal  and  fancy  it 
a  duplicate ;  for  that  is  about  what  both  would  have 
received  had  you  been  addressed  "  separately  and 
singly."  I  think  I  have  hit  upon  a  plan  now  to  silence 
all  grumbling,  for  any  sensible  body  would,  I  am  sure, 
prefer  keeping  quiet  to  obeying  such  an  injunction. 
Indeed  I  am  far  from  certain  that  both  together  can 
make  out  all  I  have  written ;  my  autograph  is  none  too 
legible  at  best,  but  I  intend  to  bring  in  "  Stumpie"  for 
a  share  of  the  discredit  on  the  present  occasion. 


20  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

Accept,  dear  uncle  and  sister,  many  thanks  for  your 
past  kindness  and  best  wishes  for  your  future  welfare. 

Yours, 

LOUISE. 


LETTER    II. 

VIRGINIA  HOSPITALITY,   ETC, 

TO     MASTER    8.    J.    8  /C^-IA-CA^ 

/-**£  &vd£sVr 

Eagle  Eyrie,  Va.,  March . 

DEAR  BROTHER  STANLEY: 

COULD  you  imagine  half  the  pleasure  your  correspon 
dence  affords,  you  would  never  think  of  withholding  it 
on  account  of  "childish  imperfections."  When  told 
that  it  contains  the  only  intelligence  received  since  I  left 
New  York,  you  will  better  appreciate  its  value  and  the 
warm  welcome  which  always  greets  its  arrival.  A 
bright  beam  of  sunshine,  your  last  dispels  for  a  while 
the  deep  gloom  which  has  so  long  been  accumulating 
round  my  heart;  and  I  hail  this  renovation  of  life's 
dearest  sympathies,  as  the  welcome  harbinger  of  better 
days  to  come.  "Hope  springs  eternal  in  the  human 
breast,"  were  it  otherwise,  how  many  a  pale  brow  on 
which  "  the  tale  is  traced  of  young  affections  run  to 
waste,"  would  too  ardently  long  to  lay  down  its  burning 
thoughts  and  restless  imaginings,  "on  that  couch  from 
which  there  is  no  rising  up ;  and  repose  its  exhausted 
energies  in  that  sleep  which  knows  no  waking."  "Oh 
blindness  to  the  future  kindly  given,  that  each  may  fill 
the  circle  marked  by  heaven  1"  The  vail  which  con- 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  21 

• 

ceals  the  impenetrable  future  is  to  me  indeed  "a  veil 
of  mercy"  which  spares  me  many  an  hour  of  unavailing 
wretchedness. 

I  am  sorry  to  find  that  grandmother  so  seriously  dis 
approves  what  she  is  pleased  to  style  the  "madcap, 
hairbrained  project"  which  I  have  carried  into  execu 
tion  without  leave  or  license ;  but  what  better  could  I 
have  done  under  existing  circumstances  ?  The  doctors 
said,  "  it  was  a  sea-voyage,  a  southern  residence,  or  the 
churchyard."  For  the  latter,  she  will  admit,  I  was  not 
prepared,  and  the  means  adopted  were  the  only  ones  in 
my  power  to  secure  either  of  the  former ;  for  she  well 
knows  I  would  never  condescend  to  accept  as  a  gracious 
gift,  what  I  knew  to  be  my  right !  I  must  confess,  the 
consciousness  of  "youth  and  inexperience"  did  give  me 
some  needless  uneasiness,  though  I  hoped,  by  aid  of  my 
sables,  ill  health  and  consequent  grave  deportment,  to 
pass  for  three  or  four  years  older  than  I  really  was 
(not  expecting  to  remain  long  it  made  no  difference,  you 
know)  but  soon  found  all  apprehension  on  that  score 
entirely  superfluous.  Here  at  the  south  a  northern 
birth  is  fully  equivalent  to  more  years  than  I  have  told ; 
add  to  that  the  title  of  teacher  or  governess  and  you  are 
at  once  installed  in  the  honors  of  five-and -twenty.  I 
could  relate  sundry  anecdotes  in  proof  of  this  assertion  ; 
but  they  are  better  omitted ;  for  though  strictly  true,  I 
know  grandmother  would  credit  the  whole  to  my  inven 
tion  and  set  me  down  as  an  incorrigible  quiz/wanting 
in  respect  to  her  gray  hairs.  Rather  than  incur  such  a 
suspicion,  I  will  obey  her  injunction  a  la  lettre,  and 
report  myself  and  pupils  to  the  best  of  my  ability ;  and 
she  may  rely  upon  the  accuracy  of  the  statement,  but 
must  not  flatter  herself  that  it  will  prove  very  agreeable. 


22  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

• 

The  major,  I  am  told,  expresses  a  high  opinion  of  me 
abroad,  though  I  suspect  his  encomiums  are  little  more 
than  .the  echo  of  his  oldest  son's  remarks.  The  latter 
is  a  young  man  about  twenty,  who  having  combined 
nearly  all  the  talent  of  the  family  with  a  constitution 
too  delicate  for  most  masculine  pursuits,  has  become  a 
great  genius  in  the  estimation  of  his  acquaintance,  and 
a  perfect  oracle  in  that  of  his  father.  By  way  of  under 
writing  his  claims,  I  must  say  he  wears  his  precocious 
honors  with  all  humility;  perhaps  attending  the  law- 
school,  in  New  Haven,  has  something  to  do  with  this ; 
but  he  certainly  does  not  judge  causes  by  their  effects, 
or  he  would  arrive  at  a  very  different  conclusion.  One 
of  his  sisters  is  naturally  "sprightly,"  and  in  a  section 
of  country  where  children  are  not  supposed  to  confer  a 
favor  by  "going  to  school  and  learning  their  books," 
would  make  quite  a  respectable  scholar  ^s  it  is,  that  is 
a  condescension  hardly  to  be  expecteor  As  for  the 
other  daughters  and  the  niece  and  ward  of  the  Major, 
such  is  their  inveterate  dislike  to  "study,"  that  never, 
of  their  own  free  will,  would  they  tolerate  in  their  pre 
sence  any  one  who  ever  mentioned  "  books"  in  their 
hearing.  Still  their  reason  forces  them  to  yield  an 
"  all-unwilling  confidence"  to  one  who  it  seem*  is  never 
to  be  permanently  honored  with  their  affection.  This 
distresses,  and  would  mortify  me  exceedingly,  did  I  not 
observe  that,  when  "too  sick  to  hear  lessons,"  I  am 
nursed  by  these  same  children  with  the  utmost  kindness, 
and  am  always  first  favorite  through  all  the  holidays 
except  the  two  last,  or  last  two,  as  your  precisions  will 
have  it.  But  once  in  the  school-room,  a  more  stupid, 
ill-natured,  captious  set  of  ignoramuses  never  tried  the 
patience  of  man  or  woman.  Yet  I  manage  to  get  along 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  23 

by  setting  down  all  these  annoyances  to  the  charge  of 
an  irksome  confinement.  I  cannot  think  of  holding 
myself  responsible  for  them,  nor  do  I  think  it  would 
be  just  to  ascribe  them  to  any  natural  perversity  peculiar 
to  the  Misses  under  my  care,  but  you  will  not  fail  to 
perceive,  that  under  such  a  state  of  things,  my  present 
abode  is  destitute  of  every  moral  attraction  which  con 
stitutes  the  charm  of  "  home."  How  the  system  of 
domestic  education  ever  came  to  be  the  choice  of  a  man, 
too  imbecile  to  control  his  children  if  he  would,  too  indo 
lent  to  do  it  if  he  could,  I  am  utterly  at  a  loss  to  deter 
mine.  Probably  he  never  troubled  himself  to  weigh 
the  respective  merits  of  the  different  systems  ;  and  when 
he  has  kept  his  daughters  in  the  school-room  the  usual 
number  of  years,  will  have  as  little  uncomfortable  con 
sciousness,  that  they  are  not  altogether  as  enlightened 
as  is  at  all  essential  for  the  feminine  gender.  Ten  or 
twelve  negroes  are  accomplishments  enough  for  any 
lady,  where  the  reputation  of  wealth,  instead  of  exciting 
the  expectation  of  finding  in  its  possessor  every  embel 
lishment  of  which  mind  and  manner  is  susceptible, 
supersedes  the  necessity  of  personal  charms  and  mental 
culture  altogether.  "  How  many  vile  ill-favored  faults 
look  lovely  in  three  hundred  pounds  a  year!"  Of  the 
truth  of  this,  the  "  niece  and  ward"  is  a  case  in  point. 
She  is  as  awkward  a  red-headed,  blear-eyed,  freckle- 
faced  looking  girl  as  you  would  wish  to  see ;  yet  she  is 
called  llj)? '-etty"  and  is  beginning  to  be  quite  a  belle ; 
and  the  fortunate  winner  of  this  peerless  prize  will,  no 
doubt,  have  the  reputation  abroad  of  having  made  the 
u  best  match,"  and  married  "the  smartest  woman  in 
the  county,"  and  the  further  satisfaction  of  finding  a 
slattern  and  simpleton  at  home.  However,  I  shall  be 
3 


24  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

greatly  obliged  to  any  gentleman  who  will  take  this 
"heiress"  of  ten  thousand  off  my  hands;  she  is  the 
oldest  of  my  hopeful  pupils,  and  wants  a  few  days  of 
being  six  months  younger  than  myself.  But  I  would 
not  have  Tier  know  this  upon  any  account ;  for  then 
instead  of  the  very  dignified  pedagogical  personage  I 
now  appear,  I  should  be  only  a  mere  hoyden  like  her 
self.  I  fancy  I  hear  grandmother's  "  enough  without  it 
is  better,"  so  take  it  for  granted,  I  have  her  permission 
to  devote  the  remainder  of  this  sheet  to  your  amuse 
ment  ;  but  must  first  remind  you  to  acquit  me  of  the 
blame  of  "  evil-speaking,"  inasmuch  as  I  did  it  "  on 
compulsion." 

Your  questions,  my  dear  brother,  are  neither  "trouble 
some"  nor  "  impertinent ;"  on  the  contrary,  I  regard  them 
as  so  many  evidences  of  an  inquiring  mind,  and  as  such 
they  are  truly  welcome.  My  observation  is  too  limited 
to  allow  of  my  pronouncing  ex  cathedra,  upon  all  your 
queries ;  but  I  see  and  hear  enough  every  day  to  con 
vince  me  that  in  the  manner  of  "local  phrases,"  the 
"  Old  Dominion"  may  compete  very  successfully  with 
the  "  Land  of  the  Granite,"  or  rather  of  "  Steady 
Habits." 

As  proof  is  better  than  assertion,  I  will  give  a  few 
examples  by  way  of  illustration.  Just  combine  nomi 
natives  of  every  number  and  person  with  the  third  per 
son  singular  of  the  verb — if  you  are  not  grammarian 
enough  to  do  this,  uncle  J.  or  aunt  K.  will  do  it  for 
you — and  then  if  you  do  not  "  reckon"  the  arrange 
ment  superior  to  anything  you  are  acquainted  with,  it 
will  probably  be  for  want  of  taste.  Ask  all  questions 
with  "how  cum"  answer  disagreeable  ones  with  "yer 
got  no  sense"  apply  "heap"  and  "right  smart"  to 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  25 

number,  quantity  and  quality  indiscriminately;  and  I 
dare  say  you  will  like  it  "  mightily"  perhaps  "  mighty 
well  indeed."  It  has  ever  been  fashionable  to  graft 
foreign  idioms  upon  our  own  meagre  vernacular,  and 
the  "  mother  tongue"  in  this  immediate  vicinity,  ap 
pears  to  have  been  considerably  enriched  by  contribu 
tions  "  toted"  here,  from  New  Guinea  "  /  reckon" 
And  localisms  are  not,  as  at  the  north,  confined  almost 
exclusively  to  the  lower  classes ;  as  near  as  I  can  learn, 
they  are  common  to  all,  but  exclusive  to  none. 

The  meed  of  "Hospitality"  is  doubtless  well  merited; 
individuals  feel  their  own  honor  implicated  when  this 
state  characteristic  is  called  in  question.  Still  I  am  in 
clined  to  think  their  much  vituperated,  and  little  under 
stood,  system  of  domestic  institutions,  has  more  to  do 
with  this  reputation  than  any  other  cause,  or  than  all 
other  causes  put  together.  Its  natural  effect  is  to  ex 
clude  the  yeomanry,  or  middling  rank  in  society,  and 
divide  the  residue  into  gentry  and  peasantry.  Now 
should  this  gentry  exercise,  individually,  no  more 
hospitality,  or  liberality,  than  the  same  number  of  their 
compeers  in  the  free  states,  still  an  unusual  number 
congregated  in  a  given  space  gives  to  that  locality  an 
advantage  which  no  other  possesses ;  and  this,  I  believe, 
is  the  true  exposition  of  "  Virginia,"  or  "  Southern 
hospitality." 

The  "  style  of  living"  differs  materially  from  that  of 
the  north,  being  much  more  expensive,  though,  as  I 
think,  far  less  comfortable.  Bacon,  not  bread,  is  the 
"  staff  of  life" — "  fish,  flesh  and  fowl,"  are  made  to 
supply  the  place  of  vegetables,  most  of  which  are  ex 
cluded  from  the  bill  of  fare,  or  placed  there  merely  for 
show.  Everything  is  boiled  or  fried — beefsteaks  not 


26  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

excepted — and  comes  to  the  table  swimming  in  melted 
lard.  Pastry  and  tea  are  seldom  seen  except  upon 
great  occasions ;  and  the  coffee  is  inferior  in  quality  to 
what  might  be  expected  considering  it  is  the  constant 
beverage.  Corn  meal,  cold  water,  and  perhaps  a  little 
salt,  are  the  only  ingredients  of  bread ;  yet  this  is  bread 
"par  excellence;"  that  which  you  are  accustomed  to 
see,  is  denominated  "light-bread"  and  very  lightly 
esteemed  I  do  assure  you  in  this  part  of  the  country. 
Indeed,  I  believe  all  Yirginians  think  no  mode  of  life 
but  theirs,  at  all  entitled  to  the  name  of  living,  and  would, 
I  dare  say,  be  more  surprised  than  offended,  to  find  any 
one  who  had  ever  seen  that  to  be  of  a  contrary  opinion. 
However,  their  excoriated  pride  would,  no  doubt,  be 
mollified  by  the  reflection,  that  a  delicate  invalid  could, 
at  best,  be  but  a  very  indifferent  judge  of. culinary 
affairs,  and  the  probability  that  a  person  in  robust 
health  would  form  a  very  different  estimate ;  but  as  the 
case  now  stands,  they  are  welcome  to  my  malediction 
upon  the  whole  kitchen  establishment  —  the  "melted 
lard"  more  particularly. 

Now  in  return  for  all  this,  I. shall  expect  grandmother 
("honor  bright,"  she  instigated  the  catechism  on  this 
head  did  she  not);  to  retract  in  due  form  the  sentence 
so  often  passed  on  a  certain  culprit  who  shall  be 
nameless,  of  "having  'eyes  and  no  eyes,'  and  being  so 
stupid  in  everything  pertaining  to  cookery,  that  to  the 
day  of  her  death  she  would  never  know  whether  people 
lived  by  eating  or  not,  unless  she  happened  to  die  of 
starvation !"  She  is  now  bound  in  common  justice  to 
make  explicit  recantation.  I  should  like,  of  all  things, 
to  see  her  and  some  of  these  Virginia  paragons  of 
housewifery,  come  in  collision;  till  the  state,  and 


LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES.  27 

family,  and  personal  pride  of  each  was  fully  aroused, 
and  see  their  rising  wrath  contend  with  their  native 
dignity  and  habitual  courtesy — it  would  be  "one  grand 
scene"  worth  all  the  farces  ever  written.  But  I  can 
easily  predict  which  side  would  bear  off  the  honors  of 
war ;  one  who  has  a  good  temper,  or  a  good  control  of  it, 
has  always  an  advantage  on  these  occasions  which 
practice  alone  can  ne/er  give.  And  some  of  these 
Southern  ladies  ("  oh  tell  it  not  in  Gath"),  do  some 
times — merely  to  diversify  the  monotony  of  domestic 
life  I  suppose — get  up  little  whirlwinds  and  tornadoes 
of  passion  which,  while  they  last,  would  make  the  in 
fernal  Ate  turn  pale  with  affright ;  and  in  north  latitude, 
forty-five,  effectually  close  the  doors  of  respectable 
society  against  these  amateur  representatives  of  the 
Furies  e.ver  after. 

As  this  is  a  well  known  fact,  I  trust  it  is  no  slander, 
though  it  may  be  gratuitous  "evil-speaking;"  and 
while  so  many  lay  the  "flattering  unction  to  their 
souls,"  that  such  conduct  is  the  natural  and  irre 
pressible  ebullition  of  the  "Tropical  Temperament,"  I 
hope  an  obscure  individual,  like  myself,  may  occasionally 
be  allowed  to  "  speak  forth  the  words  of  truth  and  sober 
ness,"  and  call  things  by  their  proper  names.  I  have 
long  been  looking,  not  on  domestic  life  but  into  it,  and 
the  root  of  bitterness  is  there;  though  this  "  Tropical 
influence"  is  made  " the  mantle  of  charity"  to  cover 
"a  multitude  of  sins."  A  broad  one  it  must  needs  be,  to 
shelter  all  who  take  refuge  under  its  folds.  Poor 
Cancer !  His  place  will  soon  be  no  sinecure  I  fear,  un 
less  some  moral  geographer  arises  to  restore  "the 
ancient  landmarks!  But  when  parents  suffer  their 
infant  children,  to  vent,  without  check  or  restraint,  the 


28  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

"  venom  of  their  spleen,"  alike  on  the  venerably  old 
and  helpless  young  —  the  lordly  master  and  lowly 
slave — what  is  to  prevent  their  becoming  fierce  as  the 
lightning  in  their  hate,  ruthless  as  the  sword  in  their 
revenge?  "Tropical  temperament"  indeed!  Tropical 
nonsense  more  like!  I  tell  you  it  is  no  such  thing;  it 
is  want  of  domestic  discipline,  and  early  mental  train 
ing!  If  it  is  the  fault  of  nature  and  climate,  how  is  it 
that  when  the  season  of  childhood  passes  away  and 
traits  of  character  begin  to  strengthen  and  deepen,  if 
the  "still  small  voice"  of  conscience,  or  the  dread  laugh 
of  derision,  whispers  you  are  miserable,  and  are  mak 
ing  yourself  ridiculous,  the  admonition  will  be  heard 
and  heeded ;  to  the  extent,  at  least,  of  repressing  the 
troubled  tide  of  feeling  in  public,  though  its  waters  of 
bitterness  may  be  lavished  in  private,  on  the  defenseless 
heads  whose  interest  it  is  to  conceal  the  deadly  fountain 
that  poisons  all  their  well-springs  of  existence.  People 
may  look  vastly  wise,  and  talk  immensely  silly,  as  all 
this  rigmarole  about  "tropical  temperament"  goes  to 
prove.  Where  nature  makes  one  intractable,  ungovern 
able  temper,  mismanagement  makes  millions;  and  so 
you  will  find,  should  you  live  long  enough  to  use  your 
own  eyes  in  preference  to  those  of  other  people,  and 
ever  look  beneath  the  surface  of  things. 

I  did  not  intend  reading  you  such  a  homily,  but  now 
I  am  "in  the  vein,"  it  may  not  be  amiss  to  throw  out  a 
few  hints  that  will  perhaps  be  of  service  in  after  life. 
On  no  subject  in  which  woman  is  concerned,  are  men 
more  solicitous  than  to  discover  the  temper  of  their 
intended  wives ;  this  is  known,  consequently  on  no 
other  are  they  more  liable  to  be  duped.  Now  if — in 
stead  of  resorting  to  the  meanness  of  intriguing  with 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  29 

intimates  and  servants,  'or  the  puerile  little  strategies 
whose  object  is  generally  detected  and  of  course  de 
feated —  men  would  obsej^ve  whether  young  ladies  can 
deny  themselves  a  desired  article  if  necessary,  or  brook 
to  be  disappointed  in  their  schemes,  or  find  themselves 
second  where  they  expected  to  be  first,  without  putting 
themselves  into  what  E.  S.  used  to  call  "  kerniption 
fits,"  or  practicing  any  of  those  half  playful,  half  petu 
lant  airs  which  gentlemen  seem  to  think  so  interesting 
in  young,  and  so  odious  in  old  women,  they  would  be 
apt  to  come  much  nearer  the  truth.  The  habit  of 
self-government  is  the  thing ;  with  it,  there  is  little 
danger  that  any  body  but  the  possessor  will  be  incom 
moded,  be  the  temper  what  it  may;  without  it  there  is 
no  security !  Much  seeming  gentleness  and  amiability 
is  all  affected — much  real  softness  and  pliability  may  be 
indurated  or  frittered  away,  when  brought  fairly  in  contact 
with  the  harsher  realities  of  life;  and  much  undisputed 
'''good  nature"  has  no  deeper  root  than  gratified  selfish 
ness,  and  must  eventually  die  for  want  of  sustenance, 
or  be  kept  alive  at  the  expense  of  every  body  but  the 
admired  possessor.  If  a  lady  has  too  little  self-control 
to  restrict  her  taste  in  the  purchase  of  what  is  to  her  un- 
"  suitable  finery,  or  the  use  of  it  in  an  improper  season — 
if  she  is  too  thoughtless  to  consult  any  body's  feelings  or 
convenience  but  her  own,  or  too  selfish  to  relinquish  any 
gratification  in  her  power  to  obtain — depend  upon  it,  all 
her  amiability,  whether  real  or  assumed,  is  of  the  kind 
that  will  "perish  with  the  using;"  though  you  may 
watch  till  doomsday,  if  you  choose,  without  witnessing, 
unless  by  accident,  any  palpable  outburst  of  temper. 
You  are  not  going  to  see  it  if  it  occurs  twenty  times  a 
day ;  for  simple  as  women  are,  they  are  generally 


30  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

shrewd  enough  to  "  fool  rnen  to  the  top  of  their  bent" 
in  this  matter ;  and  those  who  do,  will  not  be  so  mean, 
or  so  disinterested,  as  to  play  the  informer,  at  the 
expense  of  being  considered,  by  you  aud  all  your  asso 
ciates,  as  envious  rivals  or  unprincipled  slanderers  for 
the  balance  of  their  days.  Some  one  who  knows  how 
uniformly  men  treat  advice  as  witches  do  their  prayers 
(that  is  to  say,  "read  them  backwards''),  and  is  mali 
cious  enough  to  wish  you  entangled  in  the  very  net 
against  which  you  are  warned,  may  do  it ;  but  I  would 
hardly  be  magnanimous  enough  to  tell  a  gentleman  that 
his  inamorata's  name  was  Mary,  if  he  fancied  it  Jane. 
However,  should  I  chance  to  be  mistaken  about  the 
"  Tropics  ;"  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  you,  a  child  of  colder 
climes,  will  never  become  so  ardent  in  imagination,  as 
to  suspect  my  vision  of  being  sufficiently  acute  to  look 
through  a  vista  of  ten  x>r  fifteen  years  (not  to  mention 
some  five  hundred  miles),  and  consider  these  remarks, 
personal  and  invidious. 

This  is  a  very,  long  and  singularly  inappropriate  letter 
to  a  boy  ;  but  you  will  not  always  be  a  child,  you  know, 
and  the  moralizing  which  seems  so  dull  to  you  now,  may 
become  interesting  hereafter ;  more  especially  should 
the  hand  that  traced  it  ere  then  be  cold  in  death. 

Give  my  best  respects  to  grandmother,  and  all  who 
take  an  interest  in  my  welfare ;  tell  cousin  Anne  I 
have  a  great  curiosity  to  see  how  her  new  name  would 
look  at  the  extreme  verge  of  a  sheet  of  "imperial ;"'  but 
noyankee  chicanery  about  the  thing,  I  am  apt  to  grumble 
exceedingly  at  paying  postage  on  blank  paper.  And 
if  Evelyn  and  cousin  Kate  are  really  going  to  Ipswich 
they  ought  at  least  to  bid  me  farewell,  before  they  get 
so  learned  that  it  will  become  necessarv  to  convene  all 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  31 

the  faculty  of  "William  and  Mary's  to  explain  and  ex 
pound,  and  reduce  their  epistles  to  the  level  of  my 
comprehension. 

But  in  future,  do  not  you,  my  dear  brother,  say  any 
thing  more  about  "  our  old  place." — I  knew  indeed  that 
some  such  disposition  must  be  made  of  it ;  but  not 
what  exquisite  pain  it  would  give  me  to  know  that  the 
house  of  my  father  had  passed  into  the  hands  of  a 
stranger.  And  never,  oh  never  forget,  that  to  me  the 
only  charm  that  hallowed  the  spot,  was  the  memory  of 
his  buried  love  and  the  assurance  of  your  living  affec 
tion  !  That  time  and  distance  may  have  no  power  to 
sever  the  chain  that  binds  us  to  each  other,  is  the  fervent 

prayer  of  your  sister, 

LOUISE. 


LETTER    III. 

DESULTORY   GOSSIP. 

...      TO     J.     S.,     ESQ. 

Eagle  Eyrie,  Va.,  Dec.  20.— 

MY  KIND  UNCLE  : 

YOUR  last  has  been  so  long  neglected  that  you  may 
conclude  I  intend  giving  it  "  the  go-by"  entirely  ;  but 
instead  of  witnessing  any  such  wicked  resolve,  no  single 
week  has  passed  since  its  reception,  without  inflicting 
the  stings  of  remorse  for  this  sin  of  omission. 

The  hackneyed  excuse,  "nothing  to  write,"  is  all  I 
have  to  offer;  and  if  that  is  not  a  good,  I  am  sure  it  is 
a  lasting  one,  and  just  as  true  now  as  ever.  I  know  no 


32  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

positive  advantage  to  be  derived  from  the  discussion  of 
my  "  health;"  it  is  rather  better  than  it  was,  but  how 
can  any  one  expect  to  be  well,  where  ague-and-fever 
constitutes  (as  I  believe  it  does)  a  part  of  the  air,  soil, 
and  climate  ?  To  say  the  truth,  I  neither  have  nor 
expect  ever  to  have  perfect  health,  so  the  less  said  about 
it  the  better ;  yet  without  the  assistance  of  some  such 
commonplace  topic,  full  one  half  this  sheet  must  remain 
a  perfect  blank;  which,  once  for  all,  allow  me  to  say  I 
utterly  detest. 

You  probably  expect  to  learn  where  I  shall  reside  the 
ensuing  year,  and  I  should  be  glad  to  know  myself;  but 
it  will  most  likely  be  at  some  point  in  the  vicinity  of 
New  York,  which  will  aiford  the  advantage  of  sea 
breezes.  I  cannot  tell  precisely  when  I  shall  leave;  but 
expect  to  remain  till  spring,  and  pass  most  of  the  inter 
vening  time  fulfilling  sundry  engagements  in  the  visit 
ing  line. 

In  two  days  more  I  shall  be  out  of  purgatory — you 
good  Protestants  are  wont  to  sneer  at  this  as  fabulous, 
but  I  believe  there  are  circumstances  under  which  the 
most  pragmatical  might  be  convinced;  and  if  ever  I 
find  it  in  my  heart  to  imperil  my  happiness  in  like 
manner  again,  it  shall  \>efor  some  object,  not  merely  to 
prolong  an  existence  so  worthless  as  mine.  "  Delight- 
rhl  task"  indeed !  Thompson  would  have  been  glad 
"  to  eat  his  own  words,"  in  less  than  twenty -four  hours, 
by  way  of  reprieve,  had  he  ever  submitted  them  to  the 
test  of  experiment.  At  any  rate,  it  is  a  deliyJit  I  am 
very  willing  to  dispense  with ;  and  have  not  the  slightest 
objection  to  turning  out  the  oldest  of  my  young  "  hope 
fuls,"  and  passing  over  the  residue  to  the  contemptible 
little  son  of  Bacchus  who  officiates  as  music-master  in 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  33 

the  family  and  neighborhood.  If  their  father  chooses 
to  commit  the  minds,  and  manners,  and  morals  of  his 
daughters  to  such  a  companionship,  it  is  no  concern  of 
mine,  you  know.  And  after  all  it  makes  no  difference — 
they  are  not  sent  to  school  to  learn,  only  to  be  kept  out 
of  the  way  till  they  are  old  enough  to  "  come  out"  and 
get  married.  If  this  is  sarcastic,  it  is  truth  only  that 
makes  it  severe. 

As  my  direction  promises  to  be  precarious  after  the 
current  year,  you  will  oblige  me  by  requesting  Mr.  G. 
to  discontinue  my  subscription  until  further  orders. 
And  if  he  insists  on  a  literal  interpretation  of  the 
"  arrearages"  clause,  be  so  good  as  to  advance  whatever 
may  be  necessary  to  release  me  from  its  "  durance  vile;" 
incurred  as  follows.  This  State  tolerates  nothing  less 
than  five  dollar  bills;  and  not  feeling  exactly  able  to 
pay  five,  where  only  three  were  required,  I  inclosed  (and 
sent  by  private  conveyance  as  far  as  New  York)  a  quarter 
eagle  and  fifty  cents  in  silver,  supposing  —  ignorant 
sinner  that  I  was — that  no  postage  would  be  levied  on 
a  communication  addressed  to  a  Post-Master,  for  the 
residue  of  the  route;  but  the  Post-Office  Department 
had  to  be  sustained,  and  the  unfortunate  aforesaid  to 
contribute  nearly  half  its  contents  -to  that  laudable 
object.  Don't  you  think  now,  I  must  possess  an  un 
commonly  forgiving  disposition,  to  be  scribbling  non 
sense  this  very  blessed  moment,  for  no  earthly  use  but  to 
increase  the  revenue  ? 

I  have  riot  heard  from  Massachusetts  for  some  months, 
this  is  partly  chargeable,  no  doubt,  to  my  having  allowed 
Evelyn's  last  to  lie  so  long  "  on  the  shelf."  The  truth 
is,  I  am  serving  them  all  to  the  same  sauce  they  have 
been  treating  me  with  ever  since  I  could  remember ;  and 


34:  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

don't  think  I  should  feel  any  compunctious  visitings  on 
that  score,  if  her  letter  were  to  lie  over  till  the  Fourth 
of  July  next.  I  have  a  strong  notion  of  giving  her  a 
practical  illustration  of  the  old  adage — "  it's  a  poor 
rule  that  don't  work  both  ways."  But  I  suspect  I  am, 
at  best,  no  great  favorite  in  that  quarter;  for  beside 
compromising  the  olden  dignity  by  condescending  to 
enact  governess,  and  being  so  profanely  irreverent  as 
not  to  make  a  most  profound  salaam  at  every  mention 
of  the  "  Pilgrim  Fathers,"  I  had  once  the  effrontery  to 
ridicule  some  of  their  scientific  machines,  yclept  "Female 
Seminaries,"  and  express  some  apprehension  lest  the 
yankee  genius  of  "  improvement"  should  steal  a  march 
upon*  me,  seize  the  Falls  of  Niagara  and  convert  them 
into  "  a  very  eligible  water  privilege''''  before  I  get  a 
peep  at  that  world  of  waters  and  rainbows.  Nor  is 
this  "the  extent  of  my  offending;"  for  it  seems  by 
Stanley's  last  (they  surely  keep  "  a  journal  where  my 
faults  are  noted")  that  some  time,  "  so  long  since  that 
the  memory  of  man  runneth  not  to  the  contrary,"  I  had 
the  foolhardiness  to  assert  that  "the  rocks  and  streams," 
"  the  hills  and  valleys  of  New  England"  were  worth 
more  "  to  point  a  paragraph  and  adorn  a  tale"  than 
anything  else;  and  what  was  worse,  the  impertinence 
to  inquire  if  cousin  Anne  were  in  training  to  canvass 
votes  for  the  next  presidential  campaign,  that  she  was 
so  sedulously  studying  popularity,  under  madam  "  the 
Dominic,"  and  learning  of  her,  the  most  approved 
method  of  playing  the  hypocrite  secundum  artem,  so  as 
to  make  domestics,  factory  girls,  and  all  of  that  genus, 
believe,  no  one  ever  doubted,  that  all  men  (and  women 
too)  were  born  "  free  and  equal !"  Of  course  I  never 
dreamed  that  this  persiflage  could  offend,  but  fear  it  has. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  35 

I  had  almost  forgotten  to  say  that  the  interesting, 
beautiful,  agreeable  nondescript,  who  accompanied  me 
half-way  here,  called  five  or  six  weeks  since,  ostensibly 
to  see  me,  but  really  to  get  a  few  days'  board  and 
lodging  gratis  —  an  exploit  for  which  he  is  eminently 
qualified  by  nature  and  art.  He  said  he  was  on  his  way 
to  Georgia,  Alabama,  and  Mississippi ;  but  would  return 
and  attend  me  home  if  I  would  remain  till  April. 
Really,  were  I  ever  so  much  at  a  loss  for  a  compagnon 
du  voyage,  I  should  hardly  be  over  hasty  in  committing 
my  precious  self  to  the  care  of  his  worshipful  authorship ! 

Please  tender  my  compliments,  and  the  sight  of  this 
valuable  evidence  that  theory  does  sometimes  accord 
with  practice  —  to  such  of  your  family  as  feel  inte 
rested  in  either  ;  and  accept  for  yourself  much  love  and 
many,  many  thanks  for  your  unremitting  kindness  to 
the  isolated  orphan. 

LOUISE. 


LETTER    IV. 

LIGHT   AND    SHADE. 

TO    A    LADT    IN    VIRGINIA. 

N.  Y.,  Sepl. 

MY  DEAR  MADAM: 

YOCR  kind  favor,  scrawled  all  over  with  post-marks 
and  re-directions,  has  come  to  hand  at  last;  and  you 
cannot  think  how  delighted  I  am  that  your  interest  in 
the  erratic  wanderer  has  survived  so  many  months  of 
separation. 


36  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

You  ask,  my  dear  friend,  "Did  you  revisit  your 
home  ?"  No,  I  did  not ;  there  is  little  there  that  I  wish 

to  behold — there  is  much  that  I  desire  not  to  look  upon ! 

; 

The  print  of  stranger  footsteps  now  is  in 
My  childhood's  haunts !     Dull,  cold  voices  too 
Are  on  the  summer  air,  once  thrilling  through 
Those  halls  to  tones  of  mirth,  or  fond  affection. 
And,  oh,  they  fall  like  discord  on  a  heart, 
That  was,  an  instrument  attuned  at  first 
To  sweetest  harmony;  but  made  sd  soon, 
And  often,  to  respond  to  one  rude  touch, 
That  it  can  breathe,  oh  never,  never  more 
In  music  as  'twas  wont;  but  ever 
And  anon,  in  wild,  half-broken  tones, 
Pours  forth  a  requiem  sad,  to  melody 
Departed ! 

I  might  not  brook  to  tread  my  father's  halls. 
An  alien  from  his  doors — a  stranger  on 
His  very  hearth  !     I  could  not  stand  among 
The  spirit's  loved  and  unforgotten  scenes  — 
The  complicated,  countless  things,  that  twine 
Around  the  heart  from  childhood  up  to  age — 
Without  the  passing  tribute  of  a  sigh 
To  all  I  loved,  to  all  I  lost;  and  cold 
Unsympathizing  eyes  were  there,  to  bend 
Upon  a  brow,  whose  thoughts  are  tears — 
A  tide  too  strong  for  pride  to  stem,  or  them  to  scan. 
Away,  alone,  unseen,  I  turn  to  weep ! 

But  notwithstanding  the  "one  fatal  remembrance,'' 
I  do  not  always  enact  Melpomene.  There  are  moments, 
and  those  neither  few  nor  far  between,  when  you  would 
suppose  me  the  lineal  descendant  of  Thalia,  could  you 
hear  my  light  laugh  floating  on  the  breeze,  in  full  chorus 
with  that  of  the  idlest  set  of  vagrants  who  ever  roamed 
the  world  in  search  of  summer  and  sunshine,  from  the 
days  of  Will.  Shakspeare,  the  poacher,  till  mine. 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  37 

The  season  has  passed  rapidly,  and,  for  the  most  part, 
delightfully,  scrambling  over  hedges  and  ditches,  flying 
from  fresh  water  to  salt — from  salt  water  to  fresh — in 
pursuit  of  health  and  butterflies,  sea-shells  and  wild- 
flowers;  and  I  have  caught  the  goddess  though  the 
insect  eluded  my  grasp,  and  laid  up  in  store  bright 
memories  of  happiness  to  illumine  the  dark  vistas  of  the 
future,  though  I  failed  to  preserve  a  cabinet  of  curiosi 
ties  to  rise  up  in  judgment  as  proof  positive  of  my 
vagabond  propensities. 

I  fear  my  cidevant  pupils  would  think  me  a  sad  romp 
could  they  see  me  now,  that  the  supernumerary  years, 
to  which  I  had  no  claim,  are  dismissed  upon  parole, 
and  my  dignity  cashiered  for  an  indefinite  period ;  while 
I  am  rambling  "  o'er  lake  and  lawn  and  lea,"  happy  in 
the  conscious  ability  to  revel  in  their  respective  beauties, 
unmolested  by  a  learned  lecture  on  the  propriety  of 
"  toting"  about  an  ugly  stone  or  hideous  reptile  because 
it' happens  to  have  an  uglier  name.  Through  the  mag 
nificent  drapery  which  invests  creation,  I  behold  radia 
tions  of  that  Divinity  which  presides  over  all ;  every 
item  in  its  folds  is  a  gem  of  worth,  a  thing  of  fair  flow 
ers  or  soft  fragrance,  of  bright  leaves  and  gorgeous 
coloring  —  worthy  to  be  the  work  of  a  God!  But  if 
name  in  the  place  of  feeling — the  varnish  of  art  for  the 
gloss  of  nature  —  words,  mere  words  subversive  of 
thought,  must  be  allowed  to  cast  their  blighting  spell 
on  the  fair  flower's  loveliness — if  it  must  be  botanized, 
and  analyzed,  and  sentimentalized,  take  it  away — it  is 
no  longer  the  peerless  little  gift  of  a  munificent  Creator ; 
you  have  degraded  it  to  a  thing  of  art,  and  forms,  and 
names  (one  can  hardly  spell,  and  whose  pronunciation 

449315 


38  LETTEES   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

I  never  expect  to  achieve)  you  -are  welcome  to  your 
handiwork — take  it  away !   - 

Thank  fortune,  I  am  now  free  to  abuse  the  encyclo 
pedia  and  "king's  English"  to  my  heart's  content;  for, 
"  heaven  help  our  worthy  chaperons,  they  are  by  far 
the  wildest  of  the  party,  and  there  is  neither  botanist, 
nor  naturalist,  nor  journalist  among  us ;  nor  do  I  believe 
the  whole  posse  comitatus  could  produce  an  album  on 
pain  of  excommunication  from  caste  ?  While  there  is 
no  "  chiel  amang  us  takin'  notes,"  there  is  no  danger 
of  being  "  written  down,"  so  every  one  is  free  to  "  gang 
his  own  gait"  and  enjoy  himself  after  his  own  fashion ; 
and  "  the  saddest  emotion  our  bosom  e'er  knows  is  pity 
for  those  who  are  wiser  than  we;"  more  especially  for 
poor  hag-ridden  mortals  who  are  all  their  lifetimes  in 
bondage  to  a  set  of  outlandish  fellows  called  Murray, 
Blair,  Walker,  Kaimes,  and  so  on  ad  infinitum.  It 
can't  be  denied  but  this  life  of  ours  does  approximate 
rather  nearly  to  the  savage  state ;  but  then  I  always  did 
feel  a  decided  predilection  for  that,  whenever  either  of 
the  aforesaid  clansmen,  albums,  or  botanists  crossed  my 
path.  It  seems  to  me  they  have  no  business  in  such  a 
glorious  world  as  this,  where  the  hand  of  Omnipotence 
has  inscribed  a  poetry  of  its  own,  that  leaves  its  records 
on  the  heart.  Let  the  flying  tourist  and  enervate  wan 
derer  in  steamboats  and  carriages  pass — its  nobler  pas 
sages  are  too  recherche  for  him,  they  must  be  felt  as 
well  as  seen,  loved  before  they  can  be  appreciated — but 
let  him  who  will,  tarry  till  the  spirit  of  the  place  has 
passed  into  his  heart  and  lives  again  in  his  song !  Till 
then  let  Genius  stand  reproved  in  the  majesty  of  a  Supe 
rior  Presence,  and  Art  retire  humbled  and  abashed 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  39 

from  the  scene  ere  the  spirit  of  Beauty  mock  and  deride 
his  impotent  efforts  to  copy  her  works  or  embody  her 
loveliness.. 

You  think  me  an  enthusiast  on  the  scenery  of  New 
York ;  but  the  cradle  of  my  infancy,  the  home  of  my 
childhood,  it  is  no  common  spot ;  and  though  from  the 
very  hearthstone  of  my  father,  there  breathed  the  sirocco 
of  a  desert  heart  on  his  child,  it  could  not  wholly  blight 
a  spirit  alive  to  the  bland  and  invigorating  influence  of 
nature,  as  exhibited  in  her  earth  and  her  skies :  and 
with  these  I  could  ever  hold  communion  when  told  that 
the  avenues  of  human  sympathy  were  closed  against 
me! 

It  may  be  that  this  faculty  too  was  given  for  my 
bane — well  be  it  so  —  if  the  pleasure  to  which  it  gives 
birth  be  as  evanescent  as  exquisite,  the  better  the  reason 
I  should  haste  to  enjoy  while  I  may !  But  a  day  like 
this  sadly  disconcerts  the  scheme  and  forces  me  to 
reflect — on  my  own  gorgeous  life-visions,  prematurely 
dissipated — a  noble  brother,  "my  beautiful,  my  brave," 
sacrificed  on  the  shrine  of  avarice  and  unnatural  preju 
dice  ;  and,  worse  than  all,  the  nothing  I  have  done — the 
little  I  can  ever  do,  to  redeem  the  promise  of  the  child 
to  the  sleeping  infant.  The  very  effort  seems  like  the 
osier  instructing  the  oak  how  to  keep  the  perpendicu 
lar  !  Yet  it  shall  be  made,  though  all  my  untold,  un- 
sated  powers  of  enjoyment,  should  be  molten  down  into 
one  stern  power  to  suffer  and  endure ;  for  henceforth  it 
is  not  in  the  cloud  or  the  storm  that  I  look  to  feel  the 
full  bitterness  of  my  doom.  When  the  meridian  sun 
lavishes  his  beams,  unconscious  that  one  human  heart  is 
breaking  in  a  world  irradiated  by  his  smile — when  the 
"  electric  chain  is  struck  mid  the  garish  splendor  of  the 
4 


40  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

festal  hall — then,  then  it  is  that  I  shall  realize  how  sad 
it  is  to  feel  the  winter  of  age  settling  down  forever  on 
the  heart,  while  the  first  summer  of  youth  is  yet  bright  on 
my  brow ;  and  think  how  much  more  desolate  had  been 
the  lone,  lone  dwellers  of  the  ark,  had  they  returned  to 
find  a  depopulated  world  rejoicing  in  its  young  luxu 
riance  and  wearing  its  accustomed  garniture.  But  no — 
Nature  in  all  her  wide  domains  was  mourning  for  her  hap 
less  children,  the  glorious,  though  degenerate- "  sons  of 
God  and  daughters  of  men,"  and  in  that  silent  sympathy 
there  was  companionship.  Yet  oh,  how  little  is  there 
of  it,  where  the  votaries  of  fashion  and  pleasure  most 
love  to  congregate — how  few  of  all,  who  "  flatter,  smile, 
and  woo,"  can  bide  the  "dark  hour"  or  listen  to  the 
querulous  accents  of  despondence  without  hinting,  that 
if  there  be  "  but  one  step  between  the  sublime  and 
ridiculous,"  there  is  less  than  one  between  the  senti 
mental  and  lackadaisical :  few,  indeed,  "  and  by  con 
flicting  powers  forbidden  here  to  meet,"  or  I  should  not 
now  resort  to  a  medium  like  this,  and  feel  how  inade 
quate  is  the  channel  to  convey  the  full,  deep  tide  of 
thought. 

"  The  gods  avert"  all  such  "  accurst  familiars," 
"  thick  coming  fancies,  and  exquisite  sensibilities  from 
you  and  yours,  is  the  earnest  wish  of  your  incongruous 
"  two-souled"  friend, 

LOUISE. 

FAREWELL  TO   A   FRIEND. 

Thou  \vilt  "  go  home" — then  speed  thy  way, 
Ifo  voice  of  mine  shall  bid  thee  "  stay;" 
Though  years  may  pass,  nor  bring  a  smile 
So  soft  as  thine — so  free  from  guile. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  41 

The  shades  of  home — what  flowers  more  fair 
Can  earth  display  than  blossom  there  ? 
Say,  wilt  thou  there,  the  mem'ry  keep 
Of  her,  who  has  no  home  to  seek  ! 
Sept.  25.  ISOLE. 


LETTER    V. 

'ADYICE   AND   REMONSTRANCE, 

*• j  '    * 

,  « 

TO     A    BROTHER. 

a ,  N.  Y.,  May,  1833. 

MY  DEAR  BROTHER: 

I  HAVE  just  received  a  letter  from  Evelyn,  in  which 
she  speaks  of  your  recent  meeting  and  the  wish  you 
then  expressed  to  hear  from  me  oftener.  Rest  assured 
it  is  not  indifference  that  holds  my  hand,  or  neglect  that 
restrains  my  pen : 

" My  brother!     Though  my  heart  is  cold 
And  tame,  to  what  'twas  wont  to  be; 
Still  to  the  music  of  thy  name 
Vibrates  one  chord,  which  yet  is  free 
From  the  benumbing  influence 
Which  hath  in  torpor  wrapped  each  sense. 
The  only  heart  that  ever  turned 
With  undiminished  love  to  mine — 
Which  never  my  affection  spurned; 
But  loves  me  still — is  thine ! 
And  oh,  how  sweet  to  know  that  yet 
In  this  cold  world  is  beating  still, 
One  heart,  which  will  not  mine  forget 
Though  darkly  rise  the  clouds  of  ill : 
But  thou,  my  brother — thou,  whose  path 
A  sister's  fondness  deemed  would  be 
Far  from  the  sullen  gloom  which  hath 


4:2  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Long  o'er  her  own  formed  heavily — 

The  promise  of  whose  gifted  mind 

I've  marked  with  all  a  sister's  pride; 

Deeming  the  riches  there  enshrined 

Would  mock  thy  power  to  hide — 

That  yet,  around  thy  cherished  name, 

Some  future  day  of  pride  should  see 

The  fresh  and  fadeless  wreath  of  fame 

Entwined — eternally : 

Oh,  must  these  dreams  be  vain,  and  thou 

Be  doomed  to  share  so  dark  a  fate; 

And  thy  aspiring  spirit  bow, 

And  droop  beneath  misfortune's  weight  ? 

Ah  no,  a  milder  doom  be  thine, 

A  brighter  star  arise  for  thee; 

Then  shall  my  spirit  not  repine 

Whate'er  my  destiny! 

If  bright,  or  dark,  it  matters  not, 

Few  look  with  interest  on  my  lot; 

For  I  am  one,  whose  memory 

Soon  dies  within  the  hearts  of  others; 

I  care  not — it  is  nought  to  me 

So  I  but  live  in  thine,  my  brother's! 

If  cold  oblivion's  breath  should  sweep 

From  hearts  I  love  all  trace  of  me, 

Oh,  still  in  thine,  my  brother,  keep 

Uudimmed,  the  memory  of  one, 

To  whom  this  world  could  never  give 

A  dearer  hope  to  rest  upon, 

Than  this :" 

But  who  would  rather  sacrifice  even  this,  than  the 
hope,  so  long  and  so  fondly  cherished,  of  one  day  seeing 
your  name  enrolled  among  the  noble,  the  wise,  and  the 
mighty  of  the  land. 

Say  not  this  is  an  enthusiast's  dream — it  must  be  ful 
filled.  I  know  it  will  cost  much  exertion  —  what  of 
that  —  does  your  present  employ  promise  a  life  of  indo 
lent  repose  ?  I  know  there  are  difficulties  to  encounter, 
obstacles  to  remove  —  they  must  be  met,  firmly  and 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  43 

fearlessly !  I  also  know,  that  I  ain  sinning,  past  hope 
of  absolution,  against  the  dictates  of  "common  pru 
dence" — what  then  ?  Should  I  call  down  the  anathe 
mas  of  all  her  votaries,  on  my  own  reckless  ambition, 
shall  I  be  lightly  turned,  think  you,  from  a  purpose,  I 
would  give  all  but  the  fee-simple  of  my  soul  to  accom 
plish  ?  You  know  it  is  not  in  the  nature  of  "  things 
possible  1"  Your  prospective  career  has  roused  even 
Evelyn  from  her  torpor — Tier  lethargy  is  over — the  "iron 
gyves,"  which  ill-judging  kindness  bound  round  every 
faculty  of  her  nature,  are  fallen  off — she  stands  up  once 
more,  in  the  native  dignity  of  a  mind  regenerated,  re 
deemed,  disenthralled !  And  most  nobly  has  she  come 
forward  to  break  down,  with  her  own  hand,  the  barrier 
which  an  indiscriminating  and  unjustifiable  partiality 
strove  to  erect  between  her  and  her  nearest  of  kin  1  Let 
no  allusion  of  ours  recall  its  existence.  True,  the  im 
pressions  of  a  lifetime  are  not  to  be  effaced  at  will ;  but 
if  we  cannot  forget,  let  us  remember  only  to  love  and 
admire  the  true  nobility  of  soul  that  would  not  be 
debased!  Many  a  one  that  rises  the  prouder  for  the 
conflict  with  oppression  might  utterly  succumb  under 
the  enervating  influence  of  inertia  and  weak  indulgence ; 
but  such  a  one  is  not  she — in  any  plan  that  can  be  de 
vised  for  your  benefit,  her  co-operation  is  certain,  yours 
only  is  doubtful.  If  that  is  not  wanting,  I  care  not  now 
with  whose  opposition  I  may  have  to  contend;  but  I 
recoil,  with  the  cold,  sickening  sensation  of  despair, 
from  the  apprehension  that  you  may  shrink  from  the 
necessary  exertion — that  your  once  lofty  spirit  may  have 
become  assimilated  to  your  lowly  destiny.  But  no,  it 
is  not,  cannot  be  so !  Evelyn  speaks  of  your  "  manly 
form  and  sedate  aspect,"  and  I  know  the  source  of  such 


44  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

premature  gravity  all  too  well,  not  to  believe  that  youth 
ful  brow,  "  so  calm  yet  sad,"  a  better  index  to  your 
heart,  than  your  tongue  ever  was,  when  it  reported  you 
"contented"  (for  shame!)  and  "cheerful"  in  the  condi 
tion  to  which  a  narrow-minded  policy  has  consigned 
you.  I  know  not  in  whose  sagacity  that  measure  origi 
nated  ;  but  I  do  know  I  had  rather  that  man  had  gone 
to  the  grave  than  my  darling  brother  to  the  anvil.  Be 
he  who  he.may,  he  shall  find  "  I  bide  my  time"  and 
will  not  always  brook  to  be  thwarted  in  my  purpose ! 

I  love  you,  dear  Stanley,  and  always  shall,  be  your 
occupation  what  it  may ;  but  I  cannot  bear  to  see  you 
sacrificed  thus!  I  cannot  endure  the  idea  that  my 
father  has  no  son  to  give  back  to  the  world  that  promise 
of  pre-eminent  usefulness  and  ornament  which  sleeps  in 
his  early  grave!  You  bear  his  name,  will  you  make 
no  effort  to  rescue  it  from  oblivion?  Eesolve  that  you 
will,  and  that  resolve  will  be  a  prophecy  that  shall 
work  its  own  fulfillment.  It  requires  no  small  moral 
courage,  I  know,  for  a  boy  like  you  to  act  in  open  defi 
ance  of  the  express  will  and  pleasure  of  those  he  has 
been  accustomed  to  honor  and  obey ;  but  when  ascen 
dency  over  the  mind  of  a  child  is  made  the  instrument 
of  his  oppression — it  is  time  it  should  cease.  State 
your  feelings  and  intentions  modestly  but  firmly ;  then 
if  you  find  them  ultimately  disapproved,  give  the  dis 
sentient  to  understand,  that  by  "  advice"  people  some 
times  mean  concurrence;  and  that  you  do  not  consider 
asking  a  man's  opinion  a  positive  promise  to  abide  by 
his  decision. 

If  Mr.  D.  is  the  gentleman  you  and  Evelyn  represent 
him,  there  will  be  no  opposition  on  his  part;  but  if 
Shylock-like,  he  insists  on  "  the  letter  of  the  bond,"  his 


LETTEKS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  45 

pound  he  must  have — time  is  of  more  value  to  you  than 
money.  Settle  it  in  your  own  mind  that  nothing  shall 
deter  you  from  your  purpose,  and  Industry,  ardent,  in 
flexible  and  untiring,  will  bring  it  to  a  successful  issue. 
"With  such  splendid  names  as  Franklin,  Jefferson, 
Chancellor  Kent,  and  William  Wirt,  inscribed  by  its 
hand  on  the  page  of  your  country's  history,  say  if  you 
can  that  my  scheme  is  chimerial,  my  expectation  hope 
less  !  But  as  familiar  examples  are  always  most  potent, 
allow  me  to  remind  you,  that  the  distinguished  Prof. 
S is  said  once  to  have  learned  the  tanner  and  cur 
rier's  trade;  and  your  much,  and  justly  admired  Mr.  E. 
that  which  you  are  now  acquiring.  They  had  no  in 
centive  of  an  honorable  name  on  the  wane;  yet  where 
are  they  now?  "  What  man  has  done  man  may  do" 
so  do  not  sit  down  and  compile  a  volume  of  excuses  for 
inaction  ;  nor  is  it  at  all  essential  for  you  to  soil  any 
fair  white  paper  endeavoring  to  convince  me,  that  to 
you,  especially,  the  path  to  all  honorable  distinction  is 
perfectly  inaccessible.  I  shall  not  be  persuaded  any  more 
than  yourself!  Up  then  and  be  doing,  or  3rou  will  lose 
both  time  and  labor.  What  if  the  hill  of  science  be  steep 
and  high — the  ascent  toilsome  and  difficult — "  know 
ledge  is  power,"  and  the  acquisition  paramount  to  the 
exertion.  Assertions  to  the  contrary  are,  in  my  opinion, 
nothing  more  than  the  "  It  is  naught,  it  is  naught,"  of 
the  buyer,  or  the  u  sour  grapes"  of  the  disappointed 
aspirant.  But  whatever  else  you  may  do,  do  not  waver 
and  hesitate  and  procrastinate  till  it  is  indeed  too  late. 
I  have  taken  this  preliminary  off  your  hands.  Two 
years  of  doubt  and  indecision  are  enough  to  waste  upon 
any  subject,  and  I  have  bestowed  more  than  that  on  the 
one  before  you. 


46  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

What  if  you  should  suppose  I  overrate  your  talents, 
does  it  follow  of  course  that  iny  estimate  is  incorrect  ? 
You  will  neither  respect  me  more,  nor  love  me  better, 
when  1  say  that  in  years  that  are  passed,  I  have  often 
excited  and  exasperated  you  to  the  utmost,  in  order  to 
see  what  stamina  you  were  of — but  it  is  even  so — I 
have  'done  this,  and  the  result  was  perfectly  satis 
factory:  you  are  fully  adequate  to  the  task  imposed. 
What !  shall  men  cast  out  upon  the  world  in  the  very 
hour  of  their  birth,  indebted  even  to  charity  for  the 
very  names  by  which  they  designate  themselves,  shall 
they  reach  forth  their  hands  and  grasp  the  highest 
honors  their  country  can  give ;  and  will  you,  gifted  with 
the  might  of  intellect,  lie  down  in  contented  obscurity, 
and  suffer  the  thick-coming  clouds  of  oblivion  to 
envelope  all  your  name  and  race?  My  brother!  I  de 
sire  nothing  of  you  I  would  not  gladly  perform  myself — 
I  ask  you  to  encounter  no  difficulty  I  would  not  grapple 
with  fearlessly,  yes  joyfully !  I  urge  you  to  no  effort  it 
would  not  be  my  pleasure  and  pride  to  accomplish ,  if  I 
only  might.  Might  I  but  write  Louis  instead  of  Louise, 
then  should  my  hand  and  foot  soon  be  "in  that  stern 
strife  which  leads  to  life's  high  places ;"  but  this  may 
not  be — upon  you  devolves  the  right  to  become  your 
father's  worthy  successor  in  more  than  name.  Nerve 
your  spirit  to  this,  bring  every  faculty,  moral  and 
physical,  to  bear  upon  this  point,  and  it  will  be  attained. 

Never  stop  though  to  quarrel  with  me  for  giving  every 
body's  thoughts  a  tongue,  in  rating  a  trade  as  inferior  to  a 
liberal  profession.  I  do  assure  you,  I  never  made  the 
world,  but  merely  took  it  as  I  found  it;  and  shall  never 
dream  of  setting  up  for  a  reformer  unless  furnished  with 
most  authentic  credentials  of  my  divine  mission.  As 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  47 

these  are  not  forthcoming,  the  world  will  e'en  have  to 
"go  on  as  it  used  to  do  when  it  was  a  boy;"  for  I  have 
no  intention  of  giving  it  my  supervision. 

Above  all  let  no  pecuniary  considerations  distress  you  ^ 
Evelyn  has  avowed  her  intention  of  "  eating  u'o  longer 
the  bread  of  idleness,"  and  you  know  when  once  de 
cided  she  is  fixed  as  the  north  star.  She  will  soon 
"  leave  school,  and  go  south,  or  west,  to  see  if  she  can 
turn  her  acquirements  to  any  account."  In  no  case  will 
she  "any  longer  appropriate  to  her  own  exclusive  use, 
funds  which  should  be  common  to  all;  though  if  you 
accept,  she  will  still  receive  them,  and  thus  cajole  his 
wisdom,  the  executor,  who  has  the  impertinence  to  sup 
pose  that  minors  cannot  possibly  have  arrived  at  "years 
of  discretion."  /hold  it  a  specially  wise  and  merciful 
interposition  of  Providence  that  law  and  lawyers  have 
been  raised  up  conferring  it,  at  a,  certain  age,  on  some 
people  who  might  otherwise  never  have  attained  it 
at  all. 

The  minimum  of  our  father's  estate,  which  was,  you 
know,  assigned  to  me,  has  long  been  devoted,  in  thought, 
to  this  object;  what  better  use  can  you  make  of  your 
share?  It  is  not  capital  enough  to  establish  you  se 
curely  in  any  lucrative  business;  but  I  have  ascertained 
from  the  best  authorities,  that  one  with  your  resources 
at  command,  is  amply  furnished  for  a  professional  as  well 
as  collegiate  course.  Think  calmly  of  all  this,  and 
weigh  well  your  advantages  before  you  weakly  de 
termine  to  reject  them. 

Evelyn  intimates  that  you  report  yourself  as  "  very 

deficient  in  penmanship,"  by  way  of  excuse  for  being 

so  idle  a  correspondent ;  if  this  be  so,  why  the  greater 

the  need  for  practice — the  wider  the  field  for  cultivation, 

5 


48  LETTEKS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

the  more  imperious  the  necessity  that  impels  you  on 
ward.  Never  let  your  aversion  to  anything  get  the 
mastery  of  your  better  judgment.  Are  you  a  man, 
and  succumb  to  such  a  womanly  weakness?  Brother 
of  mine,  and  suffer  the  iron  heel  upon  your  neck  to 
grind  you  forever  in  the  dust  ?  Son  of  your  father,  and 
lie  down  in  hopeless  apathy  and  imbecility,  when  all 
that  is  noble  and  endearing  in  life,  call  upon  you  to 
awake  to  the  sleepless  energy  of  thought  ? 

Your  own  and  eyer  affectionate 

SlSTEB. 

ELEGIAC  LINES. 

LET  others  trace  the  obsequious  line 

Along  the  marble's  cold  expanse; 
The  only  eyes  that  ever  spoke  to  mine 

Affection's  tale  in  every  glance  ; — 

The  only  voice  whose  accents  never  fell 

Like  discord  on  my  youthful  ear — 
The  only  breast  whose  gentle  swell 

Told  what  a  fount  of  love  was  welling  near ; — 

The  one  loved  hand  that  oft  clasped  mine, 
Or  lay  in  silent  blessing  on  my  head; 

My  noble  father,  these  were  thine, 

And  thou,  hast  long  been  with  the  dead. 

I  know  thy  smile  was  all  the  light 

That  lay  upon  my  pathway  here: — 
But  words — vain  words  on  marble,  will  they 

Wake  the  sleeper  in  the  sepulcher  ? 

Let  others  trace  the  hackneyed  line, 

And  measure  grief  by  rules  of  art ; 
Thy  mem'ry  hath  a  holier  shrine, 

'Tis  graven  deeper  on  the  heart: 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  49 

And  ruthless  time  shall  never  sweep 

From  mem'ry's  page  one  trace  of  thee, 
Nor  chill  the  love  that  bends  to  weep 

O'er  all  it  lost  in  losing  thee. 

Sleep  on — I  would  not  have  thee  heed 

Of  sorrowing  heart  and  weary  lot  the  tale, 

That  stranger  eyes  oft  turn  to  read 
In  my  dim  eye  and  cheek  so  deadly  pale. 

'Twould  shade  thy  angel  brow  to  learn 

How  lowly  is  thy  children's  lot ; — 
How  fondly  e'en  in  youth  they  yearn 

For  that  blest  home  where  care  comes  not. 

Still!  be  thou  still!  I  would  not  break 

The  silence  that  should  linger  here- 
Sleep  on — sleep  on — I  would  not  wake 

The  dreamer  in  this  lowly  sepulcher ! 

Aug.,  1833. 


LETTER    VI. 

SUPPLEMENT  TO  THE  PRECEDING  ONE. 

o N.Y..NOV.  1833. 

DEAR  STANLEY: 

THE  offer  of  a  private  conveyance  induces  me  to  com 
mence  a  hasty  reply  to  your  last,  though  it  is  "  past 
ten,"  and  my  health  scarcely  equal  to  late  hours  after 
social  excitement ;  but  when  your  interest  is  at  stake, 
mental  and  physical  exhaustion,  should  alike  be  for 
gotten  ;  what  are  they,  when  laid  in  the  balance  with 
aught  that  can  minister  to  your  pleasure,  or  your  profit? 

Your  last,  my  dear  brother,  has  given  me  more 
pleasure  than  I  had  experienced  for  months  before  its 


50  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

reception ;  for  it  tells  me  what  I  most  desired  to  learn. 
Thank  God,  your  mind  is  not  bowed  down  to  the  level 
of  your  fortunes  —  you  "do  feel  their  degradation" 
though  you  "  fear  every  effort  to  escape,  would  only 
ensure  a  mortifying  defeat  1"  But  let  me  ask  you  my 
dear  brother,  do  you  expect  to  shelter  yourself  behind 
your  dark  doctrine  of  "  Fate,"  and  silence  the  restless 
spirit  in  your  own  bosom,  and  the  untiring  remonstrance 
of  your  far  off  sister,  with  "  It  is  my  destiny  ?"  Be 
lieve  it  not,  while  the  free  spirit  God  has  given  con 
tinues  to  animate  your  form,  it  will  rebel  against  the 
tyranny  that  is  trampling  its  aspiring  energies  in  the 
dust.  Hope  it  not,  when  the  clods  of  the  valley  lie 
heavy  on  a  heart  that  beats  only  for  you,  the  voice  that 
now  implores  you  to  be  just  to  yourself,  will  be  silent 
forever,  but  not  till  then  will  I  relinquish  the  one  hope 
that  has  long  been  my  sole  guiding  star,  through  all  the 
dark  maze  of  a  wayward  existence. 

I  know  nothing  of  the  piratical  worthy  you  quote; 
but  as  to  his  -gift  of  second  sight,  excuse  me  if  I  am — 
not  quite  an  audacious  misbeliever!  His  talents  had 
no  doubt  been  denied  their  legitimate  exercise,  until  the 
fever  of  the  heart  grew,  as  it  often  does,  almost  to  mad 
ness  ;  and  then  he  brooded  over  the  history  of  piracy, 
till  the  charm  which  danger  always  flings  round 
hazardous  enterprise  was  converted  into  a  "spell;" 
and  the  deluded  victim  of  a  distempered  fancy,  took 
the  most  efficient  means  of  accomplishing  his  own 
high  destiny.  The  same  causes  would,  in  nine  cases 
out  of  ten.  undoubtedly  produce  the  same  effect;  at  least 
I  see  nothing  mysterious  in  this  thing  called  second 
sight  to  puzzle  the  learned  or  unlearned  withal !  It 
seems  to  me  neither  more  nor  less  than  the  phospho- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  51 

rescence  emitted  by  the  oscillations  between  genius  and 
madness ;  and  what  is  there  so  very  inexplicable  in  all 
that?  There  are  other  mental  phenomena  which  would, 
if  well  considered  and  only  a  little  less  common,  seem 
equally  strange:  as,  for  instance,  how  any  one  that  is 
sane  can  expect  to  continue  so,  if  he  persists  in  forcing 
his  brain  into  an  unnatural  channel,  and  denying  it  its 
proper  and  essential  aliment.  A  fish,  or  a  bird  might 
do  better  in  some  other  element,  but  I  doubt  it;  at  all 
events  rivers  do  sometimes  run  clear,  but  who  ever  saw 
a  canal  that  did  ? 

I  can  tell  you  what  I  have  seen  though,  and  that  was, 
an  amalgam  of  wounded  pride,  reserve,  and  irresolu 
tion,  vainly  trying  to  shuffle  off  all  responsibility  upon 
"  destiny '/"  but  never  tell  me  again  that  you  "  were  not 
'born"  to  emulate  the  honored  Sons  of  Industry  and  In 
tellect.  What  if  they  have  achieved  "an  eminence  so 
lofty,"  I  do  not  insist  that  you  shall  hurl  them  from 
spheres  which  are  filled,  nobly  and  well.  I  am  glad 
to  hear  you  acknowledge  their  supremacy;  for,  in 
these  days,  when  every  one  is  trying  to  take  precedence 
of  his  betters,  it  is  no  small  merit  to  know  one's  place 
and  keep  it;  but  are  you  quite  sure  you  have  found 
yours?  Never  fear  though,  that  I  intend  nominating 
you  for  the  presidency  this  year,  or  next — it  is  not 
the  proper  time — but  I  do  intend  to  convince  you  that 
your  present  occupation  is  one  in  which  you  can  never 
hope  to  be  happy,  or  even  contented.  This  ought  to  be 
easily  done,  after  your  own  admission  that  "  you  were 
always  averse  to  the  business,"  that  it  "is  not  congenial 
to  your  taste,  and  becomes  every  day  more  and  more 
irksome  to  your  feelings ;" — because  you  are  conscious 
of  "  gradually  descending  lower  and  lower  in  the  scale 


52  LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

of  social  and  intellectual  beings."  And  yet  you  pause, 
and  fear !  Why  not  hope  ?  And  how,  with  such  a  con 
fession  on  your  lips,  will  you  parry  the  question,  or 
excuse,  even  to  yourself,  the  unmanly  weakness  of  re 
maining  a  moment  longer  than  necessary,  in  a  thraldom 
so  degrading  ?  You  cannot,  you  will  not ! 

Mr.  D.  certainly  merits  all  your  encomiums ;  "  when 
self  the  balance  shakes,  'tis  rarely  right  adjusted,"  and 
even  I  must  admit  that  his  proposition  is  not  only 
liberal,  but  expedient.  I  had  forgotten,  until  he  sug 
gested  it,  that  "  a  sudden  change  from  active  to  seden 
tary  life,  might  injure  your  health  and  prove  ruinous  to 
our  schemes."  Let  your  improvement  of  the  time  and 
advantages  placed  at  your  disposal,  evince  that  his 
generosity  has  not  been  lavished  on  an  undeserver. 
Use  them,  my  dear  brother,  as  if  every  moment  lost 
were  a  fortune  squandered.  It  is,  I  know,  unwelcome 
advice  which  says  to  youth — absent  yourself  from  the 
young  and  gay,  and  therefore  I  will  not  give  it;  but 
attach  yourself  closely  to  books,  and  you  will  find  that 
happiness  does  not  consist  in  the  noisy  mirth  of  rude 
associates.  To  me,  the  most  exceptionable  feature  in 

Mr.  D 's  plan,  is,  that  it  must  necessarily  detain 

you  another  year  or  more  in  New  England  ;  for,  in 
sober  earnest,  I  do  dread  your  "  falling  unawares"  into 
the  yankee  custom  from  time  immemorial;  namely, 
entering  into  the  most  important  contract  in  your  power 
to  make,  one  too,  which  cannot  be  annulled  without 
forfeiture  of  your  reputation  as  an  honorable  man,  at 
an  age  when  the  law  nullifies  pecuniary  transactions, 
on  account  of  u  immaturity  of  judgment."  These  • 
"long  engagements"  are  objectionable  in  every  point 
of  view;  they  hang  like  dead  weights  on  any  enter- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  53 

prise  that  requires  the  undivided  energies  of  character, 
are  generally  contracted  with  a  man's,  or  rather  a  boy's 
equal,  if  not  superior,  in  years ;  and  eventually  become 
irksome  to  one  party  in  proportion  as  their  perpetuity 
is  indispensable  to  the  happiness  of  the  other.  I  did 
not  remain  quite  long  enough  in  Yirginia,  to  imbibe  the 
southern  notion,  that  a  man  should  be  old  enough  for 
his  wife's  father,  neither  do  I  give  in  to  the  New  Eng 
land  system  (as  elucidated  by  practice),  that  it  is  imma 
terial  which  has  the  seniority.  "21  n'y  a  que  New 
York  que  toujours  la  raison;"*  a  man  should  be  older 
than  his  wife;  though,  were  I  lawgiver,  ten  years 
should  be  about  the  limit  of  disparity.  Here  at  the 
north,  jive  would  answer;  but  a  few  years  more  or  less 
are  not  so  important  after  all,  as  some  other  matters. 
Now  you  cannot  expect  free  admission  into  your  former  • 
and  appropriate  circle,  yet  no  member  'of  any  other  can 
be  to  you  a  desirable  companion,  least  of  all  a  female. 
Some  there  may  be,  beautiful  in  person  and  fascinating 
in  manner;  but  were  they  well-born,  intelligent,  refined, 
pure  and  high-minded,  as  the  companions  of  my  brother 
should  be,  they  would  not  be  found  in  a  subordinate 
sphere.  But  allowing  the  lady  to  be  the  sublimated 
essence  of  all  feminine  attraction,  a  matrimonial  en 
tanglement,  whether  near  or  more  remotely  prospective, 
would  in  your  case,  prove  the  death  blow  to  all  lofty 
aspiration ;  and  you  would,  when  too  late,  hate  the  in 
nocent  cause  of  your  blighted  hopes,  with  an  intensity, 
bitter  as  shame,  disappointment,  and  crushed  ambition 
could  engender ! 

But  enough  of  this — I  fear  you  have  already  had  a 


» It  is  only  New  York  that  is  always  in  the  right. 


54  LETTEES   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

surfeit  of  good  advice,  so  to  change  the  subject,  allow 
me  to  say  how  much  I  was  gratified  by  the  improvement 
evinced  in  your  last.  With  the  exception  of  a  few  grave 
errors  in  orthography,  and  some  trifling  ones  in  punctua 
tion  and  direction — the  latter  intended  to  be  quizzical,  I 
suppose,  though  the  exterior  is  not  exactly  the  place  for 
such  things — the  matter  and  manner  of  the  whole  would 
have  been  creditable  to  almost  any  one.  Indeed  I  was 
quite  amused  at  the  sang-froid  with  which  you  state 
your  grievances,  and  inquire  "where  I  picked  up  so 
much  outlandish  lingo" — why  among  beaux,  novels, 
newspapers,  and  such  like  good  company — where  else 
do  you  suppose?  You  know  very  well  that  I  know 
nothing  in  fact  of  la  langue  Francois ;  but  must  not 
expect  me  to  mend  my  ways,  or  regret  all  the  study 
"  these  pestilent  phrases"  have  cost  you.  Did  it  never 
occur  to  you  that  they  were  inserted  for  that  very 
purpose,  not  for  display,  or  to  exercise  the  yankee  pre 
rogative  of  "guessing?"  The  sentinels  on  the  ram-, 
parts  of  the  "  King's  English"  do,  to  be  sure,  declaim,  as 
becomes  them,  in  a  style  of  lofty  invective  against 
having  the  immaculate  purity  of  vernacular  corrupted  by 
these  foreign  interlopers ;  but  I  am  not  responsible  for 
their  introduction,  and  now  that  they  are  admitted,  it  is 
nearly  as  necessary  they  should  be  made  to  pass  for 
exactly  what  they  are  worth,  and  no  more,  as  to  know 
that  two  and  two  make  four. 

As    a    sojourner    among   "  the    everlasting    yankee 
nation,"  it  is  reasonable  to  suppose  you  have  an  extra 
horror  of  impostors,  wooden  nutmegs,  and  other  abomi 
nations;  so  compassionating  your  situation,  I  insert,  in 
*  a  pocket  lexicon,  a  leaf  from  "Webster's  Spelling-book, 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  55 

which  will  assist  in  unmasking  a  few  of  these  formid 
able  incognitse. 

The  former,  I  know,  you  will  value  more  as  my  gift, 
than  for  its  'own  intrinsic  beauty  or  value,  but  permit  me 
to  remind  you  that  it  is  designed  for  use,  not  show, 
and  entreat,  that  henceforth  you.  will  suffer  no  word 
with  whose  orthography,  and  import,  you  are  not 
thoroughly  au  fait,  to  escape  you,  until  both  are 
indelibly  impressed  on  your  memory.  If  you  were  to 
keep  a  common -place  book,  and  transcribe,  in  a  legible 
hand,  every  word  and  definition  for  which  you  had  oc 
casion  to  look,  you  would  soon  find  the  habit  beneficial 
in  more  ways  than  one.  Among  other  things,  it  would 
insure  some  little  practice  in  penmanship ;  and  should 
your  next  specimen  exceed  the  last,  as  much  as  that  did 
its  predecessor,  I  shall  soon  have  occasion  to  blush  for 
such  a  heathenish  looking  scrawl  as  this.  I  am  some 
thing  mortified  as  the  case  now  stands,  and  can  sympa 
thize  very  feelingly  with  your  "  stiff  fingers ;"  mine 
will  not  readily  relax  after  this  long  contraction. 

Past  twelve,  so  good  night,  and  pleasant  dreams  to 
you,  my  dear  brother. 

Votre  Swur  LOUISE. 

EPITHALAMIUM. 

WRITTEN    FOE    A    YOUNG    FRIEND. 

Now  joy  be  thine,  my  noble  brother, 

For  thou  hast  won  a  gifted  bride  ; 
And  the  heart  that  never  loved  another 

Is  throbbing  fondly  at  thy  side. 

The  charm  of  youth  may  not  endure, 

Earth's  finest  gold  has  some  alloy; 
But  that  trusting  heart,  so  high  and  pure, 

Is  wealth — and  thine — I  give  thee  joy! 


56  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

LETTER    VII. 
METAPHYSICS    AND    OTHER    VAGARIES. 

H. Mass.,  Jan.,  1834. 

DEAK  EVELYN: 

A  LITTLE  gossip  or  nonsense  is,  you  know,  very  re 
freshing,  but  the  duplicate  is  intolerable;  so  I  shall 
abandon  "interesting  items"  to  the  regular  residents, 
throw  the  reins  to  my  good  steed,  La  Plume,  and  just 
follow  wherever  its  mother  instinct  leads. 

You  ask  for  a  portrait  of  your  friend — a  careless  out 
line  is  all  I  can  give — and  should  that  displease,  you 
must  blame  the  curiosity  that  procured  a  bad  likeness, 
not  the  unskillful  limner.  She  talks,  I  think,  less  non 
sense  than  most  people — and  that  is  no  small  compli 
ment,  considering  that  she  talks  all  the  time — has  some 
amusing,  but  no  bad,  and  many  estimable  qualities,  for 
which  I  esteem  her  highly.  And  then,  again,  she 
piques  herself  upon  some  others  \vhich  she  has  not; — • 
firmness  of  character,  for  instance,  to  which  a  weather- 
vane  has  just  as  much  pretension,  and  rather  more,  for 
that  does  stand  still  when  it  rusts  down. 

She  looks  upon  all  young  ladies  as  her  special  pro 
teges,  and  an  admirable  chaperone  she  would  make,  for 
that  is  her  forte;  but  having  assumed  the  style  and 
title  of  governess  long  before  my  schoolmates  came  out, 
she  must  excuse  me  from  addicting  myself  to  leading- 
strings  just  now.  Yet  none  the  less  for  that  do  I  feel 
obliged  by  the  interest  she  takes  in  my  welfare,  despite 
a  lurking  suspicion  that  it  is  given  chiefly  to  your  sister  / 
and  a  little  owing  perhaps  to  my  being  such  a  gem  of  a 
listener. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  57 

But,  give  up  Shakspeare,  and  Walter  Scott,  with  all 
their  world  of  bright  imaginings — cut  the  acquaintance 
of  Bulwer  and  his  most  magnificent  villains — see  noth 
ing  charming  in  Halleck — be  blind  to  the  beauties  of 
Irving,  and  Cooper,  and  Sedgwick,  and  "  Paulding  the 
witty" — no,  I  can't  think  of  the  thing! 

Nobody  but  a  father  or  husband  should  ever  control 
me  in  this,  and  in  the  latter  case,  I  think  any  sensible 
legislature  would  grant  a  divorce.  So  you  see  mine  is 
a  hopeless  case — I  am  quite  incorrigible ! " 

"Illusions!  illusions!  exclaims  the  philosopher — yes 
ILLUSIONS ;  but  without  them,  how  many  would  know 
nothing  of  life  but  its  real  misery ! "  Thank  you,  friend 
author,  whoever  you  are,  and  don't  doubt  but  you 
are  a  much  better  philanthropist  than  those  would-be- 
philosophers,  who  are  perpetually  railing  at  the  splendid 
creations  of  human  intellect,  as  if  it  were  disparaging 
to  the  nature  of  man,  and  totally  beneath  his  dignity 
to  be  amused  for  a  moment  with  anything,  however 
plausible  or  ingenious,  that  does  not  stand  the  test  of 
mathematical  demonstration.  With  what  contemptuous 
pity  does  one  of  these  "Sir  Owls"  look  down  from  his 
fancied  elevation  on  the  deluded  mortal  who  honestly 
believes  the  world  has  enough  of  cloudy  weather,  with 
out  his  casting  the  shade  of  a  frowning  brow  over  its 
little  remaining  sunshine.  Yet  I,  for  one,  believe  these 
arrogant  pretenders  to  superior  wisdom  and  sanctity,  as 
deficient  in  real  benevolence  and  genuine  taste,  as  are 
their  opposites  in  prudence  and  sound  judgment;  and 
that  all  this  affected  scorn  for  the  flights  of  imagination, 
is  only  in  fair  guerdon  for  the  neglect  with  which  that 
fantastic  divinity  has  been  pleased  to  treat  their  wor 
shipful  selves. 


58  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

What  better  reason  can  be  assigned  for  the  boorish 
contempt  with  which  the  finely  imaginative  doctrine 
of  the  transmigration  of  souls  is  almost  universally 
treated?  But  is  absurdity  its  only  characteristic?  Is 
there  nothing  sublime  in  the  spectacle  of  an  immortal 
mind  groping  through  the  dark  mists  of  superstition  for 
the  day-spring  of  that  light  which,  though  emanating 
from  heaven,  was  still  too  faint  to  show  clearly  the  way 
to  its  portals?  Is  it  strange  that  eyes  dim  with  "hope 
deferred,"  should  be  dazzled  even  to  blindness,  by  the 
flash  of  that  other  light  which  is  ever  too  prone  to  lead 
astray?  Is  there  no  redeeming  feature  in  a  system 
whose  exceeding  beauty  can  at  times  make  the  wisest 
and  best  almost  wish  to  revert  to  the  darkness  of  pagan 
ism,  and  revel  unmolested  in  those  glorious  dreams 
which  constitute  much  of  that  ^buoyancy  of  spirit  which 
invests  the  past  with  happiness,  the  present  with  hope, 
the  future  with  promise ! 

The  duration  of  these  splendid  visions  is  commonly 
limited  to  the  period  of  early  youth ;  but  why  should 
they  be  so  evanescent,  unless  it  is,  that  the  scenes  of 
another  and  brighter  sphere,  are  fresher  and  greener  in 
the  heart,  before  the  dull  clouds  of  reality  have  obscured 
the  soft  light  of  memory,  which  sheds  its  halo  of  un 
earthly  brightness  over  every  dim-remembered  scene  of 
that  hallowed  home: — and  the  weary  eye,  closing  on 
this  every-day  world  and  its  commonplace  beings  and 
vicissitudes,  gathers  new  brightness  from  the  gorgeous 
sunlight  that  illumes  every  remembered  vista  in  that 
far-off  but  unforgotton  land,  whose  inhabitants,  not  "  of 
earth,  earthy,"  have  something  higher,  and  holier,  and 
brighter,  and  purer,  than  ever  meets  the  gaze  of  the 
bewildered  exile  in  this  dull  creation,  where  every  trace 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  59 

of  its  pristine  splendor  seems  fast  waning  to  disappear  ?* 
Who  has  never  been  startled  from  such  a  revery — per 
chance  by  the  accents  of  his  dearest  earthly  friend — nor 
felt  that  the  foot  of  a  mortal  had  "profaned  the  haunt 
of  the  fairies  ?"  And  what  right  has  one  individual  to 
dictate  to  another,  and  lay  an  interdict  on  every  train 
of  thought  that  does  not  accord  precisely  with  his  pre 
conceived  opinions  or  peculiar  temperament  ?  He  who 
can  find  "  a  local  habitation  and  a  name  "  for  his  edi 
fices  on  terra  firma,  is  welcome  there  to  erect  them,  if  so 
he  please ;  but  what  business  has  he  to  hinder  his  neigh 
bor  from  building  his  "castles  in  the  air,"  when  he  has 
nowhere  else  to  put  them  ? 

"Let  saints  interdict,  and  let  sages  revile 
The  sportive  creations  that  fancy  supplies  ; 
Oh,  still  let  her  baseless  enchantments  beguile,. 
And  veil  the  bleak  prospect  of  truth  from  my  eyes. 

"  When  realities  torture  'tis  wise  to  forget — 
When  sorrows  assail  us,  to  fly  from  their  sting ; 
For  fancy  can  soften  the  sigh  of  regret 
And  bear  us  from  anguish  on  fairy-formed  wing. 

"  Then  still  let  the  fancied  enjoyments  you  spurn 
Snatch  me  from  the  horrible  grasp  of  despair ; 
I  escape  from  my  sorrows  too  soon  to  return, 
And  frenzy's  a  kinder  impostor  than  care  ! " 

But  a  word  in  your  ear,  my  dear  sister ;  as  you  hope 
never  to  realize  the  full  force  of  that  last  line,  let  no 
living  illustration  of  Locke's  Theory  of  Ideas  ever  get 

*If  this  is  "like  Wordsworth,"  perhaps  the  writer  ought  to  feel  flat 
tered,  if  she  doesn't ;  but  any  author  she  Jias  read,  is  welcome  to  take 
pencil  and  mark  his  property  wherever  lie  can  find  it;  it  is  more  than 
she  can  always  do. 


60  LK'ITKKS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

hold  of  this ;  otherwise — the  will  and  power  being  com 
mensurate — I  should  have  to  grace  the  saloons  of  an  In 
sane  Hospital,  or  advocate  the  cause  of  mental  halluci 
nation  before  the  inmates  of  a  Lunatic  Asylum  in 
future !  However,  "one  song  to  thee"  before  I  go;  and 
we'll  call  it — 

THAT  OTHER  HOME. 

I  PINE  for  the  land  of  my  early  dreams, 

And  scenes  not  dimly  remembered  then  : — 
They  were  gorgeous  things,  those  skies  and  streams, 

Their  like  is  not  found  'mid  the  haunts  of  men. 

There  were  flowers — no  thought  of  Death  on  their  leaves, 
Fair  forms,  and  "  time  th'  avenger  "  rifled  not  I 

Gales  that  were  music,  no  tempest  could  mar, 
For  the  genius  of  peace  had  hallowed  the  spot. 

Fond  hearts  were  there,  but  had  not  learned  to  grieve 
O'er  all  the  heart  most  dearly  learns  to  prize; 

N"or  how  neglect,  the  soul's  worst  frost  can  freeze  : — 
They  basked  but  in  the  light  of  loving  eyes. 

They  called  not  Hope,  the  ignis  fatuus,  there, 

But  a  gentle  vision  whom  all  might  bless; 
Despite  the  meteor's  shadowy  air, 

They  knew  that  mystic  light  was  happiness. 

I  know  not  the  crime  that  banished  me  thence, 

1  know  not  that  home,  I  may  ever  regain; 
But  I  know,  vague  dreams  have  haunttd  me  since, 

Of  a  home,  I  roam  o'er  this  earth  for  in  vain. 

VALE. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  61 

**, 

LETTER    VIII. 

STRICTURES   ON   SECTARIAN   CREEDS, 

("Take  iu  broken  doses.") 
TO    8.    J.    8. 

O ,  N.  Y.,  June,  1834. 

MY  DEAR  BROTHER: 

YOURS,  per  bearer,  is  received  ;  and — "Lord,  Lord, 
how  this  world  is  given  to  lying!"  But  don't  trouble 
yourself,  or  don't  flatter  yourself  (which  is  it),  Master, 
or  Mr.,  or  whatever  it 's  proper  to  call  you ;  for  I  con 
sider  myself  honestly  "engaged"  to  you;  and  haven't 
the  remotest  idea  of  giving  you  a  "  free  pass,"  or  turn 
ing  you  over  to  another  governante  until  you  are  at 
least  five  and  twenty  and  fairly  established  in  life.  For 
the  rest,  you  couldn't  possibly  have  stumbled  on  a  worse 
casuist  to  decide  those  vexed  polemic  questions,  than  one 
who,  as  yet,  lacks  a  long  way  of  having  waded  out  of 
their  troubled  waters  herself. 

But,  "  do  I  remember  those  everlasting  Sabbath- 
days"  (I  suppose  you  are  not  heathenish  enough  to  say 
Sundays),  "  and  their  hopeful  twin-brother,  that  inter 
minable  old  catechism  ?"  Do  I  ?  Well,  thank  fortune, 
I  have  outgrown  the  verbiage  of  the  latter,  at  last,  and 
may  be  I  don't  remember  the  concomitants ;  but  it 
strikes  me  I  could  name  a  few.  Imprimis :  Long  prayers 
and  ample  grace  to  very  sanctimonious  breakfasts  ;  next, 
protracted  "sittings"  over  Sunday-school  lessons,  relieved 
at  last  —  thanks  to  the  real  or  supposed  anti-soporific 
Dill — by  a  flying  trip  to  the  garden ;  invariably  pre 
faced  with  the  injunction  "  see  that  you  go  straight 
there,  and  mind  you  don't  go  anywhere  else,"  and 


£~  •** 

* 
&2  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

accompanied  by  the  moral  certainty,  that  a  pair  of  hard, 
uupitying  eyes  were  watching  every  step  of  your  pro 
gress,  lest  the  temptation  to  abduct  a  rose,  or  bear  off  a 
violet  surreptitiously,  should  prove  too  strong  for  poor, 
unregenerate^  childish  human  nature  to  resist.  Third, 
sitting,  prim  and  demure  as  forty  old  tabby  cats  rolled 
into  one,  through  the  whole  morning  service,  wondering 
if  the  preacher  ever  would  get  done,  and  the  majority 
of  the  adult  congregation  disperse,  in  time  for  you  to 
swallow  a  bit  of  dry  cake,  or  crackers  and  cheese,  before 
the  residue  took  you  in — to  Sunday  School  I  mean — and 
Fourth :  Long,  dry  recitations  and  longer  prayers,  spun 
out,  on  purpose  as  I  used  to  think,  to  prevent  wicked 
little  juveniles  from  braving  the  possibility  of  detection 
and  the  certainty  of  its  penal  consequence,  by  stealing 
off  to  some  interdicted  establishment  whose  owners 
were  not  too  "  unco  gude"  to  "  break  the  Sabbath,"  by 
drawing  an  extra  bucket  of  water  for  poor  famishing 
children.  Fifth:  evening  service  and  a  race  home,  to 
bolt  dinner  and  supper  all  under  one,  like  any  boa  con 
strictor,  for  fear  of  being  too  late  for  the  five  o'clock 
discourse.  Sixth :  Third  service  and  another  hurry 
home  to  strip  off  and  put  away  your  Sunday  finery 
before  you  got  too  sleepy  to  attend  to  it ;  and  then — oh 
horror  of  horrors  ? — the  "Shorter  catechism !"  " Shorter 
than  what"  you  wonder,  and  so  do  I;  though  as  you 
say,  "  one  might  possibly  contrive  to  live  through  it  so 
long  as  there  was  anything  more  to  learn,  and  he  didn't 
care  one  solitary  fig  whether  it  meant  anything  or 
nothing;"  but  this  being  compelled,  for  week  after  week 
and  year  after  year,  to  repeat  what  is  so  revolting  to 
the  stomach  of  one's  sense,  "after  he  is  perfect  to  a 
demisemiquaver,  letter,  and  comma,  is  more  than  mor- 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  63 

tal  man  can  endure  "  (right — only  a  child  has  to  endure 
it ;)  more  especially  if,  whenever  he  chance  to  nod,  or 
be  suspected  of  doing  so,  he  should  find  himself  straight 
ened  up  by  a  rousing  box  on  one  ear,  and  the  balance 
of  power  preserved  by  the  simultaneous  application  of  a 
counteracting  tendency  on  the  other ;  bestowed  with  a 
hearty  good-will,  grace,  and  dexterity  which  nothing 
but  long  practice  can  give. 

You,  who  were  so  early  removed  to  gentler  auspices, 
escaped  this  phase  of  the  infliction,  though  my  head 
aches  to  this  very  hour  with  the  recollection  (or  conse 
quence  ;)  but  isn't  the  whole  Sunday  system  most  beau 
tifully  contrived  to  illustrate  the  meaning  of  a  "  day  of 
rest ; "  and  charmingly  calculated  to  inspire  children 
and  youth  with  intense  affection  for  the  day  and  its 
Maker,  and  the  religion  in  whose  joint  names  all  this 
childish  martyrdom  is  perpetuated  ?  I,  for  one,  can 
safely  testify  to  having  long  suspected  the  latter  of 
being  neither  more  nor  less  than  a  prime  invention  for 
gratifying  the  domineering  disposition  of  our  elders,  by 
furnishing  them  with  a  standing  pretext  for  admon 
ishing,  be-lecturing,  browbeating  and  snubbing  their 
juniors  on  all  occasions.  And  as  for  that  same  "West 
minster  catechism,  I  hadn't  a  doubt,  in  those  days,  that 
it  emanated  directly  from  the  "  bottomless  pit,"  on 
purpose  to  torment  us  poor  children. 


70  LETTEKS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

Did  you  ever  see  the  like,  friend  Public? — "strictures' 
pages  and  all  among  the  missing !  No,  NEVER  !  No,  nor 
anybody  else,  unless  it  was  the  poor  soul  that  had  one  wife 
pulling  out  all  the  gray  hairs,  and  another  waging  a  war  of 
extermination  against  the  black  ones.  Here's  one  publisher, 
now,  wants  us — that  is,  the  "  sperrit"  and  the  "medyum" — 
to  be  young  and  fashionable,  say  beside,  and  such  like  prim  - 
ities  — insists  on  divorcing  us  from  our  first  love  and  marrying 
us  to  that  degenerate  Yankee,  Noah  Webster,  (though  we 
like  honest  old  Sam  Johnson  a  thousand  times  better,)  and 
the  other  has  heard  of  such  obsolete  antiquities  as  post 
scripts  and  perorations.  And  then  they  both  are  of  opinion, 
that,  after  all  the  weakness  and  wickedness,  the  pragmatics  and 
absurdities  with  which  the  church  has  been  edifying  the  world 
for  the  last  eighteen  centuries,  you  have  not  yet  got  true  Chris 
tian  meekness  and  good  sense  enough  extant,  to  tolerate  a  little 
"sarcastic  levity  of  tongue"  in  just  such  an  off-hand,  fear 
less  and  free  showing  up  of  their  effects,  as  chanced  to  emanate, 
some  nineteen  or  twenty  years  since,  from  the  "gray  goose- 
quill"  of  a  writer  still  young  enough  to  wield  it  without  glasses. 

Is  your  majesty  of  the  nineteenth  century  such  a  graceless, 
good-for-naught,  such  a  snarling  efo^r-matical,  that  you  can't 
possibly  endure  a  little  spicy — though  more  playful  than 
spiteful — effervescence  of  youthful  waywardness  and  mature 
asceticism?  No,  we  don't  believe  a  word  of  it — that  must 
be  scandalum  magnatum!  A  pretty  figure  you'd  cut  now, 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  71 

wouldn't  you,  trying  to  get  up  a  scene,  and  not  a  single 
anathema  on  band  to  hurl  against  book,  they  having  all 
been  appropriated  to  author  long  ago,  and  when  even  sur 
vivors  and  fac  similes  of  those  who,  in  default  of  the  virtue 
which  "believeth  all  things,"  tried  so  hard  to  superinduce 
that  phase  which  "endureth  all  things,"  must  have  seen  that, 
after  all,  her  %/i/-artillery  was  never  intentionally  aimed  at 
anything  more  sacred  than  their  own  ex  cathedra  fulminations, 
and  the  "  wood,  hay  and  stubble,"  which,  alas  !  too  often 
repel  when  it  would  be  much  wiser  to  attract — those,  at  least, 
whose  mental  optics  cannot  see  why  it  should  be  so  very 
wrong  for  poor  sinners  to  laugh  at  the  saints'  "sanctified" 
airs  and  faces,  and  so  very  right  for  them  to  rail  at  their 
quizzical  ones — so  much  worse  for  the  ungodly  to  sneer  upon 
their  own  responsibility,  than  for  the  righteous  to  "  curse  in 
the  name  of  the  Almighty;"  nor  why  Christians  of  every 
name — with  their  mouths  all  full  of  humble  confessions, 
and  "  brotherly  love," — shouldn't  be  as  civil  to  the  world 
and  each  other  as  was  the  old  Roman  heathen  to  his  prisoner, 
whom  he  told  that  much  learning  had  made  him  mad,  instead 
of  taunting  him  with  ignorance,  imbecility  or  sinister  design, 
because  his  views  and  feelings,  principles  and  practice  hap 
pened  to  run  counter  to  his  own. 

However,  anything  rather  than  "cause  a  brother  to  of 
fend,"  or  evince  himself  no  better  Christian  now  than  we 
were  then  ;  so,  if  it  really  be  such  a  flagrant  breach  of 


72  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

Christian  charity  for  us  to  show  up,  after  our  own  fashion, 
just  how  much  and  how  little  we  ever  did  deserve  to  have 
the  gentle  epithets,  "Atheist,"  "Infidel,"  "Reprobate"  and 
"unpardonable  sin"  forever  dinned  (and  boxed)  into  our 
luckless  ears ;  and  how  little  even  the  most  honest  par 
tisan  of  any  creed  is  "  doing  God  service "  by  setting 
the  example  of  calling  names,  because  he  cannot  always 
drill,  worry,  or  drive  children  and  youth,  sheep,  lambs,  and 
goats  into  the  fold  of  the  great  and  loving  Shepherd  of  all, 
just  whenever  he  likes ;  why  you  must  e'en  accept  from  your 
"  ancient  gossip,"  the  author,  this  same  amende  for  the  abstrac 
tion  of  suppressed  matter  after  the  residue  was  stereotyped. 


But  don't  let  grandmother  get  hold  of  this,  what 
ever  you  do ;  for  though  egregiously  misplaced,  she 
would,  of  course,  and  as  in  duty  bound,  feel  vastly 
shocked  and  deeply  grieved,  at  my  audacious  and 
most  deplorable  impiety.  "  Shades  of  all  the  Pil 
grims  " — where  did  "  this  degenerate  plant  of  a  strong 
vine  come  from  ? "  From  Plymouth  Eock,  at  your 
service,  madam — according  to  the  inscription — though  I 
don't  believe  a  word  of  it,  and  haven't  a  doubt  it  "  lies" 
like  any  other  "  epitaph  ! "  I  think  I  see  the  c<5mmittee 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  73 

now,  sittino;  in  solemn  conclave  over  "some  of  our  best 

7  O 

names,"  canvassing  their  respective  claims  to  "the  high 
honor" — and  no  thanks  to  them  for  the  selection,  so  far 
as  I  am  concerned !  Who  cares  to  have  his  ancestors 
proved  a  greater  set  of  dunderheads  than  must  needs 
have  been  inferred  from  existing  specimens?  Not  I! 
It  is  bad  enough,  in  all  conscience,  to  have  had  St.  Paul 
down  upon  them  in  advance,  as  a  set  of  graceless  vaga 
bonds — worse  than  so  many  infidels — for  as  near  as  I 
can  learn,  our  father  was  the  first  (after  his  bachelor 
uncle),  to  open  his  eyes  to  the  possibility  that  the 
"house  of  Peveril,"  might  eventually  become  "Awra- 
bled"  if  not  "humble"  unless  its  sons  condescended  to 
cultivate  something  beside  barren  acres,  and  new  scions 
of  the  old  family  stock. 

The  reason  wliy  I  don't  believe  the  inscription  is 
this — History  and  legend  both  aver,  that  there  arrived, 
some  years  later,  a  self-sufficient,  presumptions,  inde 
pendent  clique,  who  had  the  impertinence  to  object  to 
the  location,  find  fault  with  the  government,  and  com 
mit  sundry  other  enormities  by  way  of  making  them 
selves  popular;  and  just  so  much  the  more  as  they 
were  coaxed  to  remain  in  the  colony,  just  so  much  the 
more  they  wouldn't ;  all  of  which  tallies  so  exactly  with 
old  family  traditions,  and  the  very  "nature  of  the 
beast,"  that  I  haven't  a  doubt  they  were  there — every 
mother's  son  of  them — a  hard-headed,  self-willed,  con 
tumacious  set,  as  they  were,  and  are,  and  always  will 
be  to  the  end  of  time,  I  fear !  For  example  here  are 
you,  this  blessed  minute,  reading  straight  along  in 
spite  of  my  prescription,  just  as  if  you  didn't  know 
how  few  eyes  could  bear  as  much  as  mine.  "  Well,  if 
you  will  go  to  perdition,  it  can't  be  helped — I've  done 


74  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

my  duty!"  But  see  that  you  pay  more  attention  to  the 
other  injunction,  and  burn  this,  pr  hide  it  away  and 
lose  it  anywhere  but  in  your  coat-pocket,  where  grand 
mother  will  be  sure  to  overhaul  it  on  your  next  visit.  1 
wouldn't  really  worry  or  distress  her  upon  any  account, 
though  I  have  known  people  whom  it  would  be  truly 
.refreshing  to  see  get  hold  of  it ;  always  provided  you 
were  safe  out  of  reach  of  their  saintship's  claws,  and  at 
a  respectful  distance  from  their  mellifluous  tones  of 
voice.  By  the  way,  did  you  ever  remark  what  uncom 
monly  fine,  strong  lungs  the  saints  always  have  ?  I 
wonder  if  any  of  them  ever  die  of  consumption !  Pray 
inquire  of  the  College  of  Physicians  —  the  suggestion 
might  be  useful  in  physiology ! 

But  wouldn't  some  of  the  "  elect,"  look  about  aa 
saintly  on  its  perusal,  as  they  and  others  were  wont  to 
do,  once  upon  a  time,  when  I  used  to  tell  some  of  the 
hopeful  tyros — whose  new-fledged  sanctity  hadn't  quite 
overawed,  or  effaced  my  impression  of  what  incompara 
ble  ninnies  we  school-girls  thought  them  a  few  weeks 
before  —  that  "I  really  couldn't  say  whether  I  should 
like  to  be  a  Christian  or  not,  never  having  seen  one 
that  I  could  remember:"  —  and  others  of  the  embryo 
"ambassadors,"  that  "it  was  very  evident  the  Lord 
cared  little  how  we  felt,  or  what  we  thought  con 
cerning  him,  or  he  would  take  care  to  be  more  ably 
represented." 

But  this  was  wrong — all  wrong — no  matter  how  much 
a  man  may  deserve  censure  or  ridicule  for  foisting  him 
self  into  a  position  he  is  unable  to  fill,  it  is  ungenerous 
for  even  a  woman  to  strike  at  one  who  has  no  intel 
lectual  armor  to  parry  the  thrust !  It  would  be 
dastardly  in  a  man,  and  I  hope  that  you  will  always 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  75 

have  too  much  self-respect  to  aim  a  blow  of  the  kind  at 
one  who  is  thus  doubly  disarmed.  For  even  I — child 
that  I  was,  and  reckless,  callous,  and  "  impenitent"  as 
I  was  deemed  —  felt  many  a  pang  at  seeing  the  poor, 
simple,  unsuspecting  go-betweens,  grazed  by  the  passing 
shaft  that  rankled  far  deeper  in  a  loftier  mark.  But  the 
peerless  bores  were  so  intolerably  annoying  with  their 
"gratuitous  efforts" — made  by  special  request — "for 
the  conversion  of  one  who  lacked  nothing  but  the  grace 
of  God"  (and  the  other  exception  to  "everything");* 
and  the  temptation  to  pay  back,  to  those  I  could  not 
otherwise  reach,  some  small  portion  of  the  long  arrears 
of  contumely,  opprobrium,  and  childish  grievance,  was 
too  strong  to  be  resisted;  so  the  poor  spoonies  had  to 
suffer.  But  I  hope  the  obtuseness  of  their  own  percep 
tions,  did  them  good  service  on  the  occasion,  and  that 
you,  who  had  far  less  of  the  "gall  of  bitterness"  infused 
into  your  young  existence,  will  never  copy  this  portion 
of  my  example.  •  ',,  / 

Your  affectionate  sister, 

LOUISE. 

ORPHANAGE. 

Lightly 

Men  speak  of  widowhood  and  orphanage, 
As  words,  that  well  might  be  defined  by  others ! 
And  talk  of  sorrow,  loneliness,  and  grief, 
As  graphic  terms  ;  and  competent  to  tell 
The  measure  of  unmeasured  desolation. 


*  Alluding  to  the  expression  of  an  old  lady  who  used  to  say  that  if 
her  daughter  married  to  please  her,  "she  would  give  her  everything  but 
the  grace  of  God  and  a  gold  house." 


76  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

You,  who  did  ever  love  what  you  have  lost, 
Say  are  they  not  mere  mockeries  of  thought  ? 

For  thee 

"  Sad  widowhood,"  I  know  thee  not ;  but  oh, 
Thy  dread  compeer,  only  an  angel  fallen, 
Its  fearful  import  may  define !     Fallen 
From  heaven,  from  happiness,  from  hope — 
Exiled  forever,  orphaned  from  God 
To  all  eternity !     Yes,  he  might  tell ; 
Though  earth  has  not  a  language  to  express 
A  thing  so  redolent  of  wretchedness ! 

"  '  Orphan' — a  wanderer  and  a  fugitive, 

An  alien  from  his  home,  a  stranger  on 

All  hearths — the  common  football  of  a  world!" 

Aye  that  is  Truth  ;  but  not  the  half  is  told. 

"  What  is  it  then  to  be  an  orphan  ?" 

Oh,  is  it  not  to  live,  and  move,  and  breathe, 

In  utter  solitude  mid  countless  thousands  ? 

To  brook  cold  looks  and  careless  greetings,  e'en 

When  most  we  yearn  for  kindlier  tones  ? 

To  stand  unrecognized  amid  the  friends 

Of  youth  and  childhood's  haunts,  then  turn 

The  weary  foot  again  to  wandering, 

Reckless  of  aim ! 

It  is,  to  live  within 

The  marts  of  pleasure  and  of  gain,  yet  be 
No  willing  worshiper  at  either  shrine ; 
To  think  and  speak,  and  act,  not  for  your  pleasure 
But  another's — the  veriest  slave  of  time, 
And  circumstance — Fortune's  automaton ! 
To  hear  of  fraud,  injustice,  and  oppression, 
And  know  who  is  the  readiest  victim: 


LETTERS   AXD   MISCELLANIES.  77 

To  make  an  inventory  of  Fortune's 
Left-hand  favors,  and  reckon  them  your  own. 
Cold  friend,  and  causeless  foe  —  proud  thoughts 

that  rise 

To  fall;  bright  hopes,  that  bud  for  blighting: 
Affections,  which  are  passions,  lava-like 
Destroying  what  they  rest  upon.    Feeling's 
Fond,  fervid  tide  preparing  icebergs  for 
That  fragile  bark,  the  loving  human  heart ; 
O'ermastering  pride,  life  and  its  changes 
Cannot  bow ;  and  soul-subduing  poverty, 
That  lays  its  iron,  cold  grasp  upon  the  high 
Free  spirit:  strength,  sorrow-born,  that  bends 
Nor  breaks  not  in  its  clasp — all,  all  are 
The  orphan's  heritage.     And  if  aught  else 
Can  wring,  with  more  enduring  pang,  the  soul 
So  sternly  nerved  to  bear  that  too,  is  his : 
Full  surely  may  he  count  on  his  reversion ! 

And  his  to  feel  the  spirit's  yearning  love 
For  all  of  melody  and  beauty,  and  see 
A  mist  come  o'er  the  scene,  a  dimness  on 
The  mental  vision !     'Tis,  to  dream  of  joy 
And  wake  to  wretchedness ;  to  stand  but  for 
One  little  moment  where  the  fresh'ning  breeze 
Steals  o'er  the  languid  lip  and  brow,  telling 
Of  forest  leaf,  and  ocean  wave,  and  happy 
Homes,  and  cheerful  toil ;  and  bringing  gently 
To  the  wearied  heart,  its  long-forgotten 
Dreams  of  gladness  back ;  then  turn  the  fevered  cheek 
Away  from  its  reviving  influence, 
And  deem  it  is,  in  truth,  a  passing  fair 
And  goodly  world  ;  but  in  it  there  is  not 
7 


78  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

A  resting  for  the  orphan !     The  very  breath 
Of  heaven,  that  comes  to  all,  comes  not  to  him, 
Bound  in  "  iron  gyves"  of  unremitting  toil, 
His  vital  air  is  wretchedness — what  needs 
He  any  other  ? 

And  music's  tone, 
And  beauty's  glance,  the  green  earth's  smile,  and 

heaven's 

Resplendent  veil,  where  angel  eyes  are  peering 
Through,  what  are  they  all  to  him,  but  sunny 
Leaves,  in  some  bright  book  he  may  not  stay 
To  scan  ? 

It  is,  to  have  a  frater-feeling 
For  the  flower  untimely  withered — 
To  claim  connection  with  the  blighted  bough ; 
And  feel  a  parting  pang,  as  the  frail  leaf, 
Wind -driven,  flits  restless  along!     'Tis,  to  watch 
The  glorious  light  of  intellect, 
Burn  dimly,  and  expire ;  and  mark  the  soul 
Though  born  in  heaven,  pause  in  its  high  career, 
"Wa^e  in  its  course,  and  fall  to  grovel  in 
The  dust  of  earth's  contamination,  till 
Even  Death  shall  scorn,  to  give  a  thing 
So  low,  aught  like  a  welcome  greeting ! 

Oh,  who  would  be,  that  pale 
Blue  mist,  that  hangs  so  low  in  air,  like  hope 
That  has  abandoned  earth,  yet  reacheth  not 
To  heaven ;  that  unappropriated  star 
In  nature's  galaxy — that  withering, 
Lone  exotic  in  creation's  garden 
Which  men  do  call  "  an  orphan?" 

L. 


*       » 

m  %       *   *          ^ 

LETTEES   AND   MISCELLANIES.  79 

LETTER    IX. 

'     *  '          •* 

OBJECTIONS  TO  TEXAN  AD  VENTURE  IN  1834. 

TO     S.     J.     S. 

O N.Y.,  Sep.,  1834. 

MY  VERY  DEAR   BROTHER: 

MOST  cordially  do  I  congratulate  you  upon  the  recov 
ered  use  of  your  right  hand — I  wish  I  could  add — and 
the  uninterrupted  exercise  of  all  your  faculties,  mental 
as  well  as  physical.  But  it  seems  to  me  that  this  idea 
of  going  to  Texas  savors  more  of  madness,  than  good 
sense  or  sound  judgment.  What  are  those  "eligible 
offers"  which  you  allude  to  so  gingerly,  just  as  if  you 
knew  they  wouldn't  bear  specification  —  anything  more 
about  sailing  under  a  black  flag  ? 

But  a  truce  to  nonsense,  and  Stanley,  do  not  go  to 
Texas — not  now,  at  least,  if  ever !  Look  at  its  history ; 
a  few  restless  spirits,  for  the  most  part,  no  doubt, 
the  very  scum  and  scourge  of  civilization,  have  fled 
to  it  as  a  land  of  refuge  or  theatre  for  wild  and  lawless 
adventure,  and  are  now  seeking  to  embroil  the  home  of 
their  adoption,  in  the  horrors  of  civil  war.  They  will 
doubtless  succeed — that  they  have  not  done  so  already 
is  no  fault,  or  merit,  of  theirs — and  then,  when  over 
borne  in  the  conflict  (as  they  should  be)  never  dream 
they  will  lack  the  audacity  to  apply  for  succor  to  the 
country  they  have  abandoned.  Not  they!  And  what 
they  ask  that  they  will  receive;  though  no  more  entitled 
to  it  than  a  "  loup  the  dyke  daughter,"  to  the  protection 
of  a  father  whose  name  she  has  dishonored,  whose  affec 
tion  she  has  spurned,  whose  hearth  she  has  deserted ! 


80       .  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

1  am  no  statesman  to  foresee  results  and  predict  their 
consequence ;  but  know  enough  of  geography  to  recol 
lect  that  Texas  is  nearer  to  Louisiana  than  Maine  — 
though  somehow  you  "  everlasting  Yankees"  always 
do  contrive  to  get  nearer  to  everything  than  anybody 
else — and  of  human  nature  to  expect  the  South  to  avail 
herself  of  the  proximity,  to  strengthen  her  own  arm  for 
that  fierce  war  of  opinion,  which  the  frantic  fanaticism 
of  the  North  seems  bent  on  precipitating.  Whoever 
lives  to  witness  the  successful  interference  of  the  United 
States  with  the  family  broils  of  Mexico  and  Texas,  will 
see  the  latter  become  a  "  bone  of  contention"  between 
the  white  bear  of  the  North  and  the  lion  of  the  South ; 
and  long  may  they  continue  to  growl  over  it,  so  it  keep 
them  from  gnawing  on  each  other's  vitals ! 

You  need  not  marvel  if  1  chance  to  be  somewhat  in 
the  rear  of  events  ;  we,  in  this  little  Yankee  colony,  are 
mostly  blest  with  sectarian  politics ;  and  if  it  were  not 
for  an  occasional  excursion  into  the  surrounding  State 
of  New  York,  I  could  scarce  pick  up  as  much  of  the 
other  commodity  as  would  suffice  to  annoy  some  intole 
rable  old  proser,  or  as  is  like  to  become  matter  of  his 
tory.  Still  I  go  in  clearly  for  the  let-alone  system,  and 
say  once  again  do  not  go,  though  1  know  that  to  you 
men,  wherever  danger  is  there  is  a  charm!  Heaven 
knows  I  am  no  coward,  yet  I  sleep  little  since  this  inti 
mation  of  your  design.  The  government  is  so  unsettled 
and  arbitrary,  personal  security  cannot  be  great.  I  fear 
for  you,  the  savage  brutality  of  the  native,  the  murder 
ous  dirk  of  the  Spaniard,  the  deeper  duplicity  and  dead 
lier  hate  of  the  Catholic  and  wanton ;  and  worse  than 
all,  the  implacable  hostility  or  more  fearful  friendship 
of  the  outlaw  and  renegade.  Living,  for  the  most  of 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  81 

your  short  life,  in  the  quiet  villages  of  New  England, 
you  have,  in  all  probability,  had  no  opportunity  for 
acquiring  tact  to  guard  against  the  finesse  of  one  adver 
sary  and  the  vindictive  fury  of  another,  of  course,  you 
have  it  not ;  experience  might  bring  it ;  but  it  would 
come  too  late !  It  is  in  vain  that  I  strive  to  view  this 
subject  in  any  other  light;  I  cannot  shake  off  the  con 
viction  that  in  going  to  Texas,  you  seek  an  early,  and 
violent,  perhaps  ignominious  grave! 

If  your  propositions  are  really  eligible,  why  not  pass 
them  over  to  Dunmore — he  is  older,  more  acquainted 
with  the  various  modifications  of  human  nature,  and 
consequently  better  qualified  to  cope  with  its  multiform 
developments.  Moreover,  as  a  husband  and  father,  he 
has,  as  Lord  Bacon  says,  "  given  bond  to  fate"  not  to 
engage,  for  good  or  for  evil,  in  any  rash  or  headlong 
enterprise.  There  are  other,  I  hope,  better  prospects 
open  to  you.  Evelyn  tells  me  she  has  written  you 
recently  "  on  a  subject  not  new"  and  requests  me  to  do 
the  same. 

My  brother  what  shall  I  say  ?  My  thoughts,  my  ex 
pectations,  my  very  heartstrings  are  entwined  indisso- 
lubly  around  this  object.  It  is  the  one  verdant  spot 
where  the  seeds  of  earthly  enjoyment  might  yet  arise 
and  blossom  for  me ;  if  a  blight  fall  upon  this,  alas  for 
my  hope  of  happiness — its  tale  is  told,  its  requiem  is 
spoken !  Once  more  then,  my  generous  noble-minded 
brother,  let  me  entreat  you,  be  persuaded;  let  not  both 
your  sisters  plead  in  vain  for  the  inestimable  privilege, 
of  contributing  by  word  and  deed  toward  making  you 
what  you  ought  to  become,  an  ornament  to  your  name, 
an  honor  to  your  country  !  And  why  do  you  hesitate  ? 
simply  because  you  "  fear  that  /  am  sacrificing  some 


82  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

cherished  vision  of  domestic  happiness,  to  promote  your 
interests !"  And  this  from  you — you  who  know  how 
often  the  assertion,  that  I  u  was  born  to  be  tolerated, 
never  to  be  loved,"  was  reiterated  in  my  youthful  ears, 
till  a  conviction  of  its  truth  became  deep  and  abiding ; 
and  the  young  affections  so  early  and  hopelessly  re 
pressed,  were  garnered  up  for  you  as  the  only  being  on 
earth,  who  could  ever  be  expected  to  appreciate  or  re 
turn  them.  If  the  idea  were  not  superlatively  absurd, 
it  would  be  truly  vexatious. 

In  the  name  of  all  that  is  ridiculous,  do  oblige  me  by 
delineating  the  form  of  the  pining,  sentimental,  love 
sick  old  maid,  which  your  imagination  has  conjured  up, 
as  gliding  among  your  household  gods  some  ten  or 
fifteen  years  hence,  like  an  impersonation  of  all  the 
"Azure  Demons"  from  the  Field  of  the  Incurables.  If 
you  please  though,  strike  out  something  new,  I  object  to 
being  mounted  like  a  witch  on  a  broomstick — that  is 
entirely  too  common-place!  More  especially  for  a 
savant,  who  "  apprehends  (from  certain  facts  which 
have  come  incidentally  to  his  knowledge),  that  longer 
experience,  and  more  extended  intercourse  with  con 
genial  circles,  have  taught  me  ere  this,  that  there  may 
be  something  dearer  to  the  heart  of  woman  than  a 
brother's  love !"  " Mirdbile  dictu!"  And  pray  "how 
long  have  you  professed  apprehension,"  my  very  vener 
able  signior  of  seventeen  ?  And  didn't  it  cost  you  a  vast 
deal  of  trouble,  to  get  up  that  very  pretty  and  vastly 
wise-looking  sentence  ?  And  what  will  you  improvise 
next,  if  I  admit  your  premises,  and  deny  the  inference? 
Among  other  items  of  precocious  wisdom,  perhaps  you 
may  know  the  "  heart  of  woman"  is  said  to  be  most 
susceptible  between  the  ages  of  sixteen  and-two-and- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  83 

twenty  ;  and  if,  by  reason  of  extreme  old  age,  you  have 
not  forgotten  how  to  count,  you  will  find  I  have  not 
only  entered  the  vortex,  but  passed  its  utmost  verge 
unscathed,  as  /think,  though  it  is  probable  you  are  the 
better  judge,  so  a  word  in  your  ear  before  you  decide, 
/never  knew  anybody  "pine  away  and  die"  for  love, 
unless  there  was  opposition  in  the  case,  from  whence  I 
conclude,  it  is  more  love  of  one's  own  "sweet  will"  than 
anything  else.  If  you  know  any  desperate  case  of  the 
kind,  advise  the  patient  to  recover  as  fast  as  possible; 
"  dying  for  love"  is  a  pitiful  excuse  to  offer  one's  Maker, 
for  appearing  in  his  presence  uncalled.  At  all  events, 
the  heart  that  is  preoccupied,  must  bear  a  charmed 
security,  and  therefore, 

"  The  love  of"  saddened  "  childhood's  years, 

The  love  of  youth's  first  vow — 
The  same  through  sickness,  grief  and  wrong, 
May  not  be  banished  now !" 

One  is  wise,  "  but  I  care  not,"  another  is  rich,  "yet 
I  am  well,"  a  third  is  noble  alike  in  person,  in  mind, 
and  in  fortune,  and  I  would  ask  no  better  materiel 
"  to  make  me  gods — and  find  them  clay" — yet  still 

There  comes  no  change  upon  my  heart, 
Though  many  a  one  may  cross  my  brow, 

The  hopes  I  nursed  ere  life  grew  dark, 
Those  very  hopes  I  cherish  now  ! 

Fashion  and  ease  in  vain  may  smile, 
Or  wealth  his  glittering  hoard  bestow, 

Or  love  strew  flowers  with  sweeter  wile, 
Their  charms  are  bright  but  all  too  low. 

What  though  I  frequent  folly's  fair,  j 

"Where  hands  and  hearts  are  often  sold  ; 

What  if  my  smile  be  lightest  there? 

When  nearly  viewed,  'tis  something  cold! 


84  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Ambition,  I  have  sought  thy  shrine, 
*   And  at  thy  altar  kneel  I  yet, 
For  lofty  thought  and  high  design 
In  recreant  heart  were  never  met. 

My  woman's  spirit  owns  thy  sway, 

Nor  writhes  beneath  the  chain, 
Jfor  falters  on  the  toilsome  way, 

With  truant  thought,  and  pining  vain  1 

The  fealty  vowed  in  early  youth, 

And  kept  through  all  my  weary  lot 
Is  pledged  again  in  woman's  truth; 

I  am  no  changeling,  doubt  me  not! 

But  if  you  like  our  worthy  grandmother,  believe  a 
vow  "  to  love  honor  and  obey,"  indispensable  to  wo 
man's  happiness,  recollect  mine  is  in  your  keeping! 
The  sooner  .you  take  measures  to  resume  your  native 
rank  the  better;  for  until  that  is  done,  I  promise  you 
most  solemnly,  I  will  never  marry — no  never  !  I  will 
not  be  the  connecting  link  between  a  blacksmith  and  a 
gentleman — I  will  ally  no  man  to  poverty  and  disgrace! 
Aye — disgrace — for  that  it  is,  for  any  man  to  fall  be 
low  the  station  in  which  he  was  born.  I  respect  honest 
industry  as  much  as  any  one,  but  God  placed  you  in  a 
different  sphere,  and  gifted  you  with  a  high  order  of 
intellect,  alike  capable  of  maintaining,  or  regaining 
your  position.  What  if  you  have  been  rudely  thrust 
from  your  place  ?  It  is  yours  again  whenever  you  choose 
to  take  it.  A  slip  from  the  old  oak,  will  you  bend  like 
the  osier  to  the  first  adverse  blast  ?  Are  you  still  a 
child  that  must  tamely  succumb  to  all  the  powers  that 
be — a  weak  woman,  for  whom  there  is  no  resource, 
but  meekly  to  bow  to  every  passing  caprice  of  un 
bridled  despotism  ?  Recollect  you  are  a  man!  The 


* 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  85 

high  gift  of  the  head  to  devise,  and  the  hand  to  execute, 
is  yours  ! 

"  And  wilt  thou  be  fainthearted,  and  turn  from  the  strife, 

From  the  mighty  arena,  where  all  that  is  grand, 
And  devoted,  and  pure,  and  adoring  in  life. 
Is  for  high-thoughted  souls,  like  thine,  to  command? 
Oh  no,  never  dream  it !" 

Inclosed  you  will  find  an  Ode  to  Ease,  by  the  Hon. 
K.  H.  "Wilde,  of  Ga.,  in  which,  despite  the  concluding 
lines,  he  seems  to  doubt  whether  the  choice  of  a  literary 
inactive  seclusion  were  a  wise  one.  You  cannot  if  you 
would,  take  such  a  choice;  then  why  not  make  a  nobler? 
Most  anxiously  shall  I  await  your  final  decision.  In  the 
meantime  Evelyn,  who  seems  half  inclined  to  make  me 
the  organ  of  her  general  communications,  desires  to  be 
remembered  to  you,  speaks  enthusiastically  (for  her)  of 
the  improvement  which  the  last  two  years  have  wrought 
in  your  intellectual  character  and  prospects,  and  re 
quests,  that  you  will  "  continue  to  improve  in  chirog- 
raphy  and  extend  your  acquaintance  with  Mathematics." 
/would  add  the  name  of  an  humbler  science,  but  think 
you  are  already  aware  to  what  I  refer. 

Ever  Yours, 

LOUISE. 


* 


86  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

/••^.-i  ,.<* 

LETTER    X. 

NEW   ENGLAND   ABSTRACTIONS. 


A. N.  Y.,  Nov.,  1834. 

TEN  THOUSAND  THANKS,  my  dear,  dear  BROTHER,  for  jour 
last  epistle,  and  its  thrice  welcome  contents.  The 
Rubicon,  it  seems,  is  passed,  and  I  can  well  sympathize 
with  your  buoyancy  of  feeling — it  is  the  natural  result 
of  sudden  release  from  deep  and  long-protracted  sus 
pense,  and  you  ne<jd  not  feel  surprised  should  a  reaction 
soon  ensue;  time,  the  great  regulator,  will  eventually 
restore  the  natural  equilibrium  of  your  spirits,  and  I  am 
too  happy  not  to  acquiesce  most  cheerfully  in  your  de 
termination  "  to  leave  the  dust  of  the  coal  where  you 
found  it,"  and  against  the  school  have  no  disparaging 
word  to  say.  The  severe  scientific  course  of  the  N.  E. 
Seminaries  is  perfectly  proper  for  gentlemen,  though  I, 
for  one,  am  heretical  enough  to  question  its  utility  when 
applied  to  ladies  ;  being  too  stupid,  1  suppose,  to  per 
ceive  how  one  and  the  same  system,  or  routine  of  in 
struction  can  fit  persons  for  diametrically  opposite  sta 
tions  in  life.  When  men  become  incompetent  to  manage 
the  afi'airs  of  the  out-door  world,  and  women  to  regulate 
its  internal  police,  it  will  be  time  enough  for  the  latter  to 
preside  in  the  arena  of  science,  and  demonstrate  their 
proficiency  in  the  lady-like  accomplishments  of  survey 
ing,  architecture,  and  navigation.  The  only  use  .that  I 
can  see  of  these  vast  acquirements,  at  present,  is  to 
bore  plain,  sensible  people  (like  myself)  to  death  with 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  87 

their  pragmatical  nonsense  about  the  "  equality  of  mas 
culine  and  feminine  intellect." 

Whenever  I  hear  a  mother  espousing  the  affirmative 
of  this  proposition,  I  think,  she  is  pleading  guilty  to  a 
most  inexcusable  neglect  of  her  offspring ;  for  did  she 
take  the  trouble  to  remark  what  comes  under  her  obser 
vation,  she  would  very  soon  see  the  difference  between 
investigation  and  discrimination.  She  might  speechify 
to  the  end  of  time,  I  should  not  be  convinced !  "  What 
has  he  done"  was  Napoleon's  test  of  greatness ;  and 
what  is  a  cause  good  for,  I  ask,  which  from  creation's 
dawn  till  now,  has  never  produced  a  single  eifect  ? 
Why  just  precisely  nothing  at  all! 

The  truth  is,  about  one  half  the  women  in  our  world 
may  fairly  take  precedence  of  the  same  number  of  men, 
and  for  the  residue,  the  less  said  about  their  intellects, 
the  better ;  while,  on  the  other  hand,  we  find  a  few  at 
least  among  the  men,  so  immeasurably  superior,  they 
distance  all  comparison — "  none  but  themselves  can  be 
their  parallel."  And  none  but  some  wise  fool  would 
ever  have  thought  of  instituting  one  in  the  face  of 
"  Moses  and  the  Prophets"  and  "  twelve  Apostles  too;" 
yet  succeeding  simpletons  continue  to  send  their  small 
wits  woolgathering  on  the  subject,  for  the  pleasure,  I 
suppose,  of  being  shunned  as  disagreeable,  laughed  at 
as  ridiculous,  and  compared  to  the  ambitious  frog  in  the 
fable.  And  their  gallant  champions  of  the  othe'r  sex 
fare  little  or  no  better  at  our  hands — to  be  suspected  of 
elucidating  the  question  more  by  illustration  than  argu 
ment,  is  generally  the  meed  of  their  chivalry. 

This  onslaught  on  New  England  "Abstractions" 
may  be  rather  ill-timed,  but  is  not  altogether  BO  unpro 
voked  as  you  might  suppose ;  for  ever  since  the  fame  of 


88  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

my  astonishing  genius  reached  some  of  their  higher 
Seminaries,  I  have  been  bored  to  death  by  circulars, 
prospectuses,  and  appeals:  that  is  to  say  I  should  have 
been,  if  I  hadn't  had  the  uncommon  presence  of  mind 
to  think  of  enlightening  my  visual  organs  by  the  blaze 
of  their  wit,  instead  of  wasting  it  on  the  dark  places  of 
my  understanding.  I  do  assure  you  the  coruscations 
are  often  most  brilliant ;  but  why  don't  the  originators 
pay  their  own  postage,  and  then  strike  out  boldly  for 
the  ne  plus  ultra  of  absurdity,  style  their  embryo 
Academies,  Colleges,  and  confer  all  manner  of  degrees  ? 
Some  Mosiana  must  have  been  striking  Plymouth  Rock 
of  late,  otherwise  I  can't  conceive  how  these  Puritan 
savan-ese  should  have  imbibed  such  copious  draughts 
of  learning,  piety,  and  universal  benevolence,  that  they 
can  look  with  pity  and  disdain  upon  the  sordid,  puerile 
interests  of  personal  and  domestic  life;  and  devote 
themselves  (and  others  too)  so  heroically  and  unre 
servedly  to  the  elevation  and  enlightenment  of  mankind 
in  general,  and  the  western  hemisphere  in  particular. 
"  Woe  is  me,"  that  I  haven't  even  the  expansive  intel 
lect  to  grasp  the  colossal  idea  of  such  a  magnificent  scale 
of  operations,  much  less  the  transcendent  wisdom  and 
boundless  benevolence  to  co-operate  in  a  mission  of 
such  high  emprise !  But  I  can  stand  far  off  and  ad 
mire,  and  suppose  eloquence  must  have  its  crown  ;  so 
here  goes:  D.  D.,  Distinguished  Dunce,  A.  M.,  All 
Moonshine,  0.  S,,  Consummate  Simpleton,  E.  G.,  Egre 
gious  Goose,  either,  or  all  of  which  are  entirely  at  their 
service  and  singularly  appropriate  and  becoming  to  all 
persons  ambitious  of  writing  their  names  in  the  middle 
of  the  alphabet. 

The  ovation  may,  to  be  sure,  fall  somewhat  short  of 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  89 

their  own  "juste  pretensions" — claims,  I  should  have 
said,  for  everybody  knows  how  very  unpretending  they 
are,  and  that  there  never  is,  never  was,  and  never  will 
be,  one  of  the  race  the  least  bit  conceited  ;  but  having 
no  single  imperfection  of  their  own  to  bless  themselves 
withal,  they  can  of  course  afford  to  overlook  any  little 
shortcomings  of  mine  with  all  the  condescending  affa 
bility  imaginable.  And  they  "  hadn't  ought"*  to  ex 
pect  much,  they  "  know  they  hadn't"  from  a  barbarian 
of  the  extreme  west,  living,  at  this  very  present,  away 
out  in  the  middle  of  New  York  ;  and  who's  already 
"  done  been  caught,"f  once  in  her  life  among  the  Hot 
tentots  of  "  Old  Yirginy ;"  where  they  don't  even  know 
that  the  essential  oil  of  all  sanctity,  grace,  and  decorum 
is  to  be  found  only  in  the  soul  of  a  ramrod,  nor  how 
"  common"  it  is,  not  to  keep  a  house  shut  up  all  the 
while,  looking  as  stiff  and  stately,  and  dim  and  dismal, 
as  old  Giant  Grim  in  the  Cave  of  Despair ;  or  what  a 
scandalous  faux  pas  it  would  be  for  a  lady  to  step  for 
ward  and  look  out,  like  an  honest  woman,  if  she  felt 
like  it,  instead  of  standing  away  back  out  of  sight  and 
peeping  through  the  blinds  like  an  Eastern  slave,  or 
regular  intriguante  through  the  bars  of  a  Spanish  jalou 
sie,  or  Turkish  harem.  "  Oh  del!  That  anything  but 
an  actress  or  a  milliner  should  ever  stale  her  sacred 
purityship  by  being  seen  near  an  open  door  or  window, 
misericorde  !"  Ho!  some  salts  here  quick  before  they 
faint,  and  as  for  me,  I  may  as  well  tramp  off  at  once 
and  camp  out  with  other  pagans  down  toward  the 
equator ;  for  it  will  never  do  to  show  my  face  in  these 


•New  England,  and  fSouthern  provincialisms,  not  restricted  by  any 
means  to  the  "  profane  vulgar." 


90  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

latitudes  again,  after  having  lost  caste  past  all  redemp 
tion  by  mere  mention  of  such  vulgarizing,  undignified 
exposure ! 

Well  it  can't  be  helped,  but  it's  their  mission  to 
civilize,  christianize,  catechize,  and  patronize  all  the 
rest  of  creation,  and  how  those  "  morning  stars"  ever 
got  through  that  song  without  their  prompting,  or  how 
the  world  ever  did  get  along  without  them,  I'm  sure  I 
don't  pretend  to  say ;  though  I  rather  suspect  that  when 
"  the  foundations  were  laid"  they  must  have  been  there! 
Otherwise  it  wouldn't  have  been  their  obvious  duty  and 
manifest  destiny,  to  charge  themselves  with  all  public 
and  private  weal,  "  from  the  rising  of  the  sun  unto  the 
going  down  of  the  same."  Nor  would  it  have  been  so 
incumbent  on  them,  to  remind  us,  in  all  our  "  out-go 
ings  and  incomings,  our  down-sittings  and  uprisings," 
that  they  "  are  the  people,"  and  very  "  high  up  in  the 
pictures,"  while  we  have  only  just  entered  the  first 
Horn-book  of  civilization !  It's  even  so,  wisdom  will 
undoubtedly  die  with  them,  we  understand  all  that  part 
of  the  lesson  perfectly ;  but  not  how  people  whose  very 
life-breath  is  devotion,  whose  every  pulsation  is  only  "a 
duty"  performed,  could  reconcile  it  to  their  consciences 
to  neglect  us  after  this  fashion !  Here  we  are,  grown  up 
like  so  many  weeds  in  a  garden,  instead  of  being  trained 
up  in  the  way  we  should  go,  and  now  things  have 
come  to  a  pretty  pass;  and  how  all  those  Professorships 
are  to  be  filled  is  more  than  I  can  tell.  For  we  of  the 
ourang-outang  species  are  not  aspiring — that  is  to  say 
not  so  very — and  doubt  whether  a  single  Lusus  could 
be  found  in  the  whole  tribe  sufficiently  tete  eleve  to  en 
shroud  himself  in  super-celestial  abstractions,  live  upon 
moonshine  steeped  in  mirage,  and  leave  all  grosser 

•*      • 


LETTEKS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  91 

materialities,  like  dollars  and  cents,  for  the  erection  of 
new  shrines,  whence  "incense  and  a  pure"  (golden) 
"  offering"  should  never  cease  to  arise  to  the  honor  and 
glory  of  the  primum  mobiles.  Indeed,  we  sorely  fear 
they  will  have  to  come  down  from  the  acme  of  their 
cloud-capped  empyrean,  and  burn  their  own  fingers  for 
the  sake  of  the  chestnuts,  or  find  the  whole  fruits  of  their 
projected  suzerainty  turn  into  "  apples  of  Sodom"  and 
"  grapes  of  Gomorrah"  in  their  very  hands: 

"  Oh,  wad  some  pow'r  the  giftie  gie  us, 

To  see  oursel's  as  ithers  see  us, 
It  wad  frae  monie  a  blunder  free  us, 

And  foolish  notion ; 
"What  airs  in  dress  an'  gait  wad  lea'e  us, 

And  e'en  devotion !" 

But  "  mabby"*  now,  you,  being  only  a  collateral  of  the 
masculine  gender,  haven't  been  initiated  into  the  merits 
of  this  grand  missionary,  self-propagating,  normal- 
school  system.  Ah,  it  grieves  me  excessively  to  think 
how  ineligible  you  are  to  that  "  seraph's  wreath  and 
martyr's  crown!"  But  don't  lay  it  too  much  to  heart, 
you  may  arrive,  some  day,  at  the  enviable  felicity  of 
being  taxed  indirectly  for  the  good  cause,  through  the 
medium  of  your  better-half;  for,  as  near  as  I  could 
translate  out  of  blue  flame  into  "king's  English,"  it 
was  to  be  established,  in  the  first  place,  by  a  regular  re 
script  upon  all  ladies  connected,  by  even  the  tenth 
degree  of  propinquity,  with  Alma  Mater,  (and  not  living 
convenient  to  any  other  sewer  or  gully  into  which  they 
could  as  well  throw  five  or  ten  dollars  per  annum)  and 

*  (May  be)  —  another  Down-Eastism,  though  heard  less  frequently 
than  "hadn't  ought,"  in  New  England,  and  "Done  been,"  "done  seen," 
"  done  done,"  etc.,  in  Southern  uppertendom. 

*       *• 


92  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

sustained  ever  after,  by  that,  and  the  voluntary  labor  of 
devotees,  eleemosynary  pupils,  and  outside  barbarians, 
ambitious  of  the  high  honor  of  serving  under  such  illus 
trious  auspices,  and  living  upon  "a  quart  of  water" 
per  diem  "  boiled  down  to  a  pint  to  make  it  strong." 
Should  this  resource  fail,  I  suppose,  we  may  look  for  a 
regular  "  interdict,"  or  edict  extraordinary,  enjoining  it 
upon  all  persons  having  the  fear  of  excommunication, 
social  and  sacerdotal,  before  their  eyes,  to  come  right 
round  by  the  base  of  Pilgrim  Rock  and  take  out  a 
license  or  passport,  under  penalty  of  being  "black 
balled"  by  all  "good  society"  in  this  world,  and  knocked 
over  the  head  with  St.  Calvin's  keys  if  ever  they  pre 
sume  to  seek  admission  among  the  elite  of  the  next. 
And  what  puts  the  matter  past  all  kind  of  doubt  is, 
that  they  have  already  got  the  whole  standing  army 
of  William  the  Testy  drawn  up  in  battle  array ;  so 
there  will  be  no  compelling  them  to  forego  ad  valorem 
duties. 

Should  this  seem  more  "  savage"  than  "  barbarous," 
recollect  New  England  has  sons  and  daughters  of  her 
own,  abundantly  able  and  willing  to  chant  her  praises, 
and  their  own  too,  as  all  these  self-styled  illuminati, 
and  old  women  of  all  genders  can  abundantly  testify. 
Moreover,  she  claims  the  Sedgwick,  Sigourney,  Bunker 
Hill,  and  Daniel  Webster ;  and  that  is  honor  enough ; 
so  she  can  very  well  afford  to  dispense  with  my  com 
mendation.  And  if  she  couldn't,  /  owe  her  nothing ; 
it  was  no  fault  of  mine  that  some  of  our  forefathers 
settled  on  her  soil.  Had  they  located  elsewhere,  they 
might  have  done  as  the  Livingstons  and  Yan  Ren- 
sellaers  did,  instead  of  squatting  themselves  down  in  the 
selfish  enjoyment  of  ancestral  dignity  and  pecuniary 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  93 

independence,  and  making  no  provision  for  the  increas 
ing  claims  on  a  diminishing  patrimony. 

Eureka !  I  have  found  it,  I  do  believe ;  the  very  root 
of  bitterness  whence  springs  the  indomitable  Yankee 
aversion  to  negro  slavery.  "  The  head  and  front  of  its 
offending  hath  this  extent  —  no  more,"  it  continues  to 
this  very  day  to  sustain  the  children  of  the  Southern 
planters  in  the  rank  of  their  fathers,  whereas  the 
descendants  of  the  New  England  gentry  are  "  every 
thing  by  turns  and  nothing  long."  When  they  get  to 
the  bottom  of  the  wheel  they  must,  of  course,  look  up, 
and  no  thanks  to  them;  they  can  look  nowhere  else! 
What  was  an  acre,  two  hundred  years  ago,  is  no  more 
than  an  acre  now  —  perhaps  not  so  much;  some  lawless 
freebooter  of  a  river  may  have  helped  himself  to  a 
mouthful  of  terra  firma  and  "  no  remede." 

This  reminds  me  of  your  "  how  do  you  expect  to  dis 
pose  of  yourself  ad  interim  ?"  Ans.  I  left  New  Yan- 
keedom  immediately  upon  receipt  of  yours,  and  entered 
school  for  the  ensuing  year,  in  order  to  study  French 
and  review  some  other  things  which  I  never  looked  at 
before ;  an  arrant  piece  of  humbuggery,  isn't  it ;  but  it 
hurts  no  one,  not  even  myself,  for  it  is  no  trouble  to 
keep  up  with  these  reviewers  ;  the  next  one  will  proba 
bly  find  me  somewhere  south  of  Mason  and  Dixon's 
line.  Evelyn  has  gone  to  Tennessee,  and  perhaps  I 
may  follow  suit.  If  people  here,  who  know  I  left  school 
at  fourteen,  will  persist  in  the  infatuation  of  considering 
me  well-educated,  I  may,  in  process  of  time,  .pass  for 
quite  a  knowing  wight,  among  strangers,  and,  if  none  of 
those  learned  seminarians  happen  to  cross  my  path, 
hope  to  profit  by  the  delusion.  "My  health"  (truth  to 
tell,  it  is  none  of  the  best)  will,  as  usual,  furnish  tho 


94:  LETTEBS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

ostensible  motive  for  going  South;  a  more  cogent  one  is, 
that  all  the  more  eligible  situations  here,  seem  to  belong, 
almost  as  matter  of  course,  to  those  who  are  educated 
up,  not  those  who  are  brought  down  to  them ;  and  be 
side,  I  rather  suspect  my  natural  affinities  tend  in  that 
direction;  at  any  rate,  I  don't  choose  to  be  "only  a 
teacher"  among  my  old  acquaintance — I  could  better 
brook  the  estimate  from  a  stranger.  And  when  I  re 
collect  how  much  more  freely  this  disrespect  for  the  sole 
profession  open  to  females — one  too,  which  should  per- 
taim  to  ladies  and  gentlemen  only — is  avowed  at  the 
south,  I  lose  all  compunction  ;  consider  myself  greatly 
superior  to  what  they  are  at  all  entitled  to  expect,  and 
them,  as  incorrigibly  stupid  and  ungrateful,  if  they  fail 
to  perceive  and  appreciate  their  own  uncommon  good  for 
tune,  and  my  remarkable  condescension.  But,  no  doubt, 
many  a  vulgar  old  vixen  has  so  identified  herself  with 
the  idea  of  a  teacher,  that  people  there  see  no  propriety 
in  applying  the  title,  and  that  of  lady,  to  the  same  indi 
vidual.  However,  I  made  out  to  pass  in  Virginia,  and 
feel  no  uneasiness  on  that  score.  If  my  acquaintance 
is  not  sought,  it  will  never  occur  to  me,  for  the  first 
time,  that  /am  the  principal  loser  ;  so  you  see  what  a 
comfortable  thing  it  is  to  have  a  good  opinion  of  one's- 
self. 

Evelyn  appears  to  have  conceived  strong  predilections 
in  favor  of  Mississippi.  "  There"  she  says,  "  talent 
is  appreciated  and  speedily  rewarded,  without  waiting 
to  ascertain  if  the  possessor  have  no  sins  of  self-esteem 
to  be  punished  for,  by  the  guileless  race  of  upstarts." 
She  thinks  you  would  do  well  to  settle  somewhere  in 
that  section  at  an  early  date,  as  you  "  would  best  be 
qualified  to  practice  your  profession  where  it  was  ac- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  95 

quired.''  All  in  good  time,  my  fair  sister ;  but  your 
collegiate  course  comes  first,  and  that  should  be  taken 
here  in  New  York  (which,  I  take  to  be,  a  sort  of  transi 
tion  from  granite  to  alluvion),  that  you  may  rub  off  some 
what  of  the  rust  of  the  Yankee  as  well  as  "dust  of  the 
coal,"  before  entering  a  community  so  widely  dissimilar 
in  all  its  habits  of  life  and  modes  of  thought ;  and  I  am 
truly  glad  you  "  have  had,"  and  will  have,  "  no  leisure 
to  burn  your  fingers  with  that  most  inflammable  of  all 
subjects,  slavery!"  Never  lay  "the  flattering  unction 
to  your  soul,"  that  where  you  are,  you  ever  can  hear, 
unless  by  accident,  anything  but  ex  parte  or  grossly- 
caricatured  facts,  or  rather  statements  wantonly  dis 
torted,  if  not  wholly  fabricated  (as,  no  doubt,  they  often 
are)  on  purpose  to  exasperate  the  slaveholder  to  deeds 
of  violence  that  may  warrant  a  terrible  retribution. 
Every  step  now  taken  in  the  premises,  must  inevitably 
be  a  retrograde  movement ;  the  hand  that  raised,  must 
allay  the  storm,  or  none  but  Omnipotence  can  walk  its 
troubled  waters  with  security.  The  South  will  not 
brook  this  officious  intermeddling  with  her  domestic 
policy  ;  and  few,  if  any,  candid  persons,  reside  there 
long  without  being  convinced  that  she  ought  not.  Sus 
pend  your  opinion  therefore,  until  you  can  base  it,  in 
reason  and  equity,  on  the  general  operation  of  the 
system.  Recollect,  to  exasperate  is  not  to  convince, 
much  less  convert;  mind  your  own  business,  and  rest 
assured,  that  if  others  need,  they  will  be  very  apt  to  call 
for  your  assistance.  It's  exceedingly  generous  of  us,  to 
shoulder  their  responsibilities,  no  doubt;  but  the  old 
maxim  is,  " Be  JUST  before  you  are  generous"  and  I 
question  if  we  might  not  all  be  quite  as  profitably  (if 
not  altogether  so  pleasantly),  engaged  in  mending  our 


96  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

own  ways,  as  in  repenting  of  other  people's  transgres 
sions.  But,  I  suppose,  the  price  of  lumber  must  be  down 
again,  as  the  old  cynic  said,  that  was  the  reason  why 
nobody  thought  it  worth  while  to  "  pull  the  beam  out 
of  his  own  eye,"  in  his  day. 

I  wish  you  could  have  been  in  Chapel,  this  evening, 
and  heard  Sterne's  fine  description  of  Solitary  Imprison 
ment,  which  he  mistook  for  slavery,  inserted  in  an  abo 
lition  composition,  declamation,  or — I  can't  exactly  say 
what  the  thing  was  intended  for;  but  really  the  author 

would  have  swallowed  Mrs.  A 's  vocabulary  at  a 

mouthful ;  lexicons  are  nothing  to  him ;  the  whole  dic 
tionary  is  used  up — Dr.  Johnson  is  undone !  The  un 
conscionable  cormorant!  But  honest  "  Old  Bluff"  isn't 
to  be  engorged  while  /am  extant,  and  no  mark  set  on 
the  homicide;  so  wake  up  and  look  at  the  little  cannibal's 
portrait.  He  is  about  thirty  (?),  goes  by  the  name  of 
the  Seven  P's:  to  wit — Painter,  Poet,  Pedant,  Prin 
ter,  Parson,  Philanthropist,  Pedagogue ;  is  addicted  to 
philosophy,  dabbles  in  phrenology,  and  the  materia 
rnedica,  and  last,  not  least,  "the  sweet  youth  is  in  love." 
Yet,  somehow,  he  doesn't  seem  to  prosper  here — it  can't 
be  for  want  of  being  sufficiently  explicit,  though  ;  for  he 
has  a  new  "  flame"  every  week,  and,  among  other  enor 
mities,  has  recently  perpetrated  an  acrostic  on  our 
French  teacher.  The  class  advise  her  to  have  it  set  to 
music  and  sung  in  full  conclave,  one  line  to  the  tune  of 
Old  Hundred,  the  next  to  Yankee  Doodle;  but  as  he  has 
the  grace  or  lacks  the  audacity  to  use  my  name  to  do 
the  ridiculous,  I  am  inclined  to  be  "merciful,  and  spare." 

You  are  fortunate  in  having  no  Female  department 
in  your  institution :  if  you  are  half  as  sensitive  about 
"  submitting  your  thoughts  to  public  inspection"  as  you 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  97 

pretend ;  but  never  feel  discouraged  if  you  are  "  igno 
rant  of  all  rules  of  composition."  You  surely  have 
good  ideas,  and  these  will  naturally  suggest  appropriate 
expressions ;  and  you  can  tell  when  they  are  properly 
arranged  by  reading  them  over  once  or  twice  audibly. 
If  you  find  the  process  fatiguing,  try  again — your  piece 
wants  remodeling — a  good  style  will  be  easy  to  read. 
When  you  have  "  nothing  to  say,"  say  nothing ;  and  if 
you  are  "  incompetent  to  say  anything  interesting," 
leave  your  hearers  to  make  the  discovery ;  it  is  a  great 
piece  of  supererogation,  not  to  say  gratuitous  imperti 
nence,  to  tell  them  so,  and  then  inflict  an  effusion  long 
as  a  congressman's  speech,  or  one  of  my  letters.  It  is 
high  time  this  transparent  amalgam,  of  vanity  and 
hypocrisy  should  be  exploded  from  the  literary  world, 
a  boarding-school  Miss  might  perhaps  be  excused  for 
retaining  it;  but  what  business  have  men  with  such 
pitiful  affectation  ? 

Speaking  of  style,  I  wish  somebody  had  mine  ;  I  am 
perfectly  aware  it  is  not  exactly  the  thing  for  a  lady; 
but  as  I  think,  rapidly,  vehemently,  independently,  so 
must  I  write.  You  know  that  for  me  there  are,  Dark 
lines  on  childhood's  sunny  leaf,  which  I  retrace  only  in 
concert  with  you.  The  lesson  they  unconsciously  taught, 
was  one  of  daring,  if  not  unhesitating  independence, 
of  thought  and  of  action ;  and  the  time  is  not  yet  come 
to  lay  aside  this  forced  and  unnatural  character.  Per 
haps  it  never  may  while  I  have  being;  but  in  one  of 
my  aft-castles  there  is  a  quiet  nook,  where  the  artificial 
amazon  may  settle  down  into  the  gentle,  unassuming, 
dependent  creature  that  God  made  woman ;  without  a 
fear  that  her  affection  is  obtrusive,  or  her  presence  un 
welcome,  and  be  happier,  far  happier  there  in  that 


98  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

,     •  cherished  helplessness  than  if  wielding  the  destinies  of 
.all  her  race. 

Good  night,  my  dear  brother,  may  the  night  of  mis 
fortune  never  overtake  you. 

Your  own, 

LOUISE. 


MY  COMMON-PLACE-BOOK. 

Friday  Evening,  New  York,  Dec.,  1834, 

LESSONS,  exercises  and  reviews  en  masse  to  be  at 
tended  to,  besides  sundry  important  though  minor  mat 
ters  to  be  looked  after ;  and  last,  not  least,  a  composition 
to  be  fabricated  for  the  ensuing  week. 

Now  if  this  were  simply  an  affair  of  imagination,  there 
wouldn't  be  anything  so  very  repulsive  about  the  thing ; 
reducing  it  to  a  tangible  form  is  what  I  dislike.  Only 
think,  now,  of  robbing  an  innocent  old  goose  of  her 
plumage,  and  then  sitting  down  deliberately  to  convict 
yourself  of  the  larceny,  in  lines  which  betray  indubitable 
marks  of  their  extraction.  Isn't  it  absurd  ?  To  be  sure 
it  is,  and  not  over  legal  either,  for  no  one  is  obliged  to 
criminate  himself;  and  my  opinion  is,  that  every  one 
who  expects  another  to  write  by  the  square  and  compass, 
the  clock  and  the  almanac,  ought  to  furnish  him  a  gold 
pen  instanter.  However,  it's  no  use  talking,  for  "the 
powers  that  be"  always  did  have  a  fashion  of  snubbing 
the  powers  that  would  be,  so  I  may  as  well  succumb  and 
"follow  the  multitude  to  do  evil." 

Having  come  to  this  magnanimous  conclusion,  I  set 
about  arranging  preliminaries  with  all  possible  dispatch. 
Unfortunately  this  operation  consumed  more  time  than 
might  have  been  necessary,  if  my  appendages,  with  a 


LETTERS    AND  MISCELLANIES.  99 

perversity  as  I  think  peculiar  to  themselves,  were  not 
uniformly  where  I  am  not;  consequently  the  negative 
courage  which  had  incited  to  action,  began  to  ooze  out 
at  the  end  of  my  finger  nails  before  the  process  was  half 
complete,  and  by  the  time  it  was  finished  had  evaporated 
entirely.  Such  a  catastrophe  may  not  be  altogether 
unique  in  school  history,  but  the  dilemma  was  none  the 
less  vexatious  for  that,  and  a  way  to  get  out  of  it  was  a 
desideratum.  So  I  plunged  into  a  grand  cogitation,  and 
was  just  about  to  seize  the  very  original  idea  of  trying 
how  far  Friday's  unlucky  stars  might  be  made  responsi 
ble  for  the  failure,  wrhen  a  voice  at  my  side  exclaimed, 
u  "Why  don't  you  write  ?"  "  Write,  write,"  said  I  dream 
ily,  "writing  is  a  purely  mechanical  operation,  and  not 
at  all  to  my  taste."  "  What  of  that,  I  thought  you  were 
going  to  prepare  a  composition  this  evening  I"  "  Well,  so 
I  was ;"  but — "  So  you  was,  then  why  are  you  not  now," 
rejoined  the  createur  des  questions  impertinente,  in 
solently  re-echoing  my  words. 

It's  exceedingly  disagreeable  to  be  wheeled  to  the 
right  about,  and  made  to  look  a  subject  point  blank  in 
the  face  when  trying  to  escape  it  with  all  your  might ; 
yet  being  rather  amiable  (when  there's  nothing  to  vex 
me,)  I  kept  very  cool  and  civil,  instead  of  flying  right 
off  in  a  passion  as  an  ill-tempered  person  might,  and 
merely  attempted  a  diversion  by  mooting  the  vexed  ques 
tion  of  "subject;"  but  madam,  the  inquisitor,  wasn't  to 
be  cajoled  by  such  a  ruse.  "  Why,  there  are  the  lan 
guages  and  customs,  the  arts  and  sciences,  the  virtues 
and  graces" — it  was  high  time  to  put  a  stop  to  her  list 
and  officiousness ;  so  "they  are  not  of  my  acquain 
tance"  retorted  I,  with  a  little,  very  little  asperity ;  and 
just  as  if  I  didn't  know  that  was  the  best  possible  quali- 


100  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

fication  for  writing  about  them;  but  all  wouldn't  do. 
"  Then  take  suavity  of  manner ! "  I  looked  up,  expect 
ing  to  find  a  sneer  that  would  send  me  for  reiuge  to  a 
sublime  fit  of  the  sullens  for  the  rest  of  the  evening: 
yet,  no,  there  she  sat,  "  calm  as  immortal  Justice,"  and 
perfectly  unconscious,  to  all  appearance,  of  having  made 
a  sarcastic  remark ;  ready,  too,  to  add,  "  If  nothing  else 
will  do,  write  an  obituary  on  the  common-place-book 
you  hold  in  your  hand. 

This  was  the  point  too  much,  beyond  which  human 
endurance  will  not  go ;  so,  overlooking  the  obvious  ob 
jection  that  it  was  still  extant,  I  began  whirling  the 
leaves  very  rapidly,  in  search  of  something  on  which  to 
base  a  cavil  at  the  new  name  conferred  on  an  old  book 
of  miscellanies.  Again  was  my  own  evil  star  in  the 
ascendant:  the  more  I  looked,  the  more  unexception 
able  did  the  title  appear.  The  ground-work  exhibited 
grotesque  and  multifarious  combinations  of  certain  ill- 
favored  characters  commonly  reputed  to  be  Arabic  nu 
merals,  (and  very  appropriate  signs  no  doubt  they  were 
for  dealers  in  the  black  art,)  filled  in  with  all  sorts  of 
angular,  wicked,  mysterious-looking  little  lines,  use 
known  only  to  the  initiated ! 

Superadded  to  these  were  plans  for  amalgamating 
various  theological  and  political  creeds,  comprising  some 
obscure  hints  that  it  might  be  necessary  to  expatriate  or 
destroy  incorrigible  dissentients.  Next  came  a  sugges 
tion  to  canonize  the  author  of  that  fine  old  text,  Mind 
your  own  business;  and  had  he  only  devised  a  way  to 
enforce  the  injunction,  uniformly  and  impartially,  I,  for 
one,  should  accede  to  that  proposition  immediately. 
Over  and  above  all,  were  receipts  for  making  dinners 
with  the  proper  materiel,  and  geniuses  with  any,  or 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  101 

none  at  all,  as  the  case  might  happen  to  be.  The  roses 
of  the  garden  vied  with  the  flowers  of  rhetoric  in  its 
pages ;  and  could  they  only  be  concealed  a  few  centu 
ries,  in  some  out-of-the-way  cranny  or  nook,  antiqua 
rians  of  future  ages  would,  no  doubt,  assign  them  a 
choice  niche  among  their  archives,  and  pore  over  their 
contents  with  visages  as  elongated  as  ever  graced  the 
resurrection  of  an  Egyptian  mummy  or  Pornpeiian 
pickle.  Magnifying-glasses  would  rise  fifty  per  cent, 
in  the  market;  for  what  virtuoso  but  would  wish  to 
examine  such  an  invaluable  relic  of  olden  time,  and 
where  would  be  savant  so  decidedly  vulgar  as  to  possess 
good  optics  of  his  own  ? 

My  friends,  if  you  have  pity  for  the  afflicted,  prepare 
to  bestow  it  upon  me !  Here  is  that  relentless  Mentor 
again,  peering  over  my  shoulder,  (the  impudent  minx,) 
and  ready  to  assail  me  with  all  manner  of  impertinence. 
Here  it  comes!  "Why,  what,  in  the  name  of  common- 
sense,  are  you  about?"  "Obeying  your  orders,  Mis 
tress  Conscience,  a  la  lettre."  "  Not  mine,  indeed ! 
Did  I  ever  instigate  such  romance  ?  Why,  there  is  n't 
a  particle  of  truth  in  one  half  you  have  written ! " 
"  What  of  that !  who  thinks  of  truth  when  writing  an 
obituary  ? "  L. 

MY  LAST  LESSON  IN  MATHEMATICS. 
Respectfully  inscribed  to  the  Savans,  my  benefactors, 
in  gratitude  for  their  recent  endowment  of  "  GREAT 

MATHEMATICAL  POWERS." 

ESCULAPIAN   ADVICE. 
Away  to  the  South,  the  sunny  South, 
And  shun  not  the  wave,  and  fear  not  the  drouth ; 
Though  death  to  another,  'tis  life-breath  to  thee : 
Then  away  to  the  South,  flee  quickly,  O  flee ! 
9 


102  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

The  winds  of  the  North  too  fiercely  are  driven 
Along  the  young  heart  by  weariness  riven ; 
For  thine,  its  dreams  are  high,  its  thoughts  still  proud, 
It  is  not  meet  for  the  burial  shroud ! 

There  is  life  in  the  gale  I  bid  thee  seek ; 

'Twill  be  light  to  thine  eye  and  health  to  thy  cheek ; 

Then  freely  go  forth,  and  strew  on  its  air 

The  roses  of  death  that  are  clust'ring  there 

***** 

I  know  that. the  breeze  of  the  South  is  light, 
Its  clime  ever  fair,  and  its  wave  as  bright 
As  if  the  million  eyes  that  in  it  sleep 
Should  flash  their  living  light  along  the  deep. 

But  they  say  that  Death  even  there  hath  power 

To  crop  the  fruit,  to  nip  the  bud,  and  blight  the  flower ; 

Then  how  shall  I  elude  that  tyrant's  art, 

Whose  unfailing  home  is  the  human  heart  ? 

****** 

O  Death  hath  many  a  haunt  of  fear,  but  none 
So  sad  as  the  cold,  and  lone  and  cheerless  one, 
Where  Hope  her  incense  lamp  hath  ceased  to  burn, 
And  Life  hangs  weeping  o'er  the  darkened  urn  1 

THE  OAK  SAPLING, 

AN    APOLOGUE. 

As  Common-Sense  was  making  one  of  her  occasional 
circuits  through  creation,  she  encountered  a  trio  on  the 
planet  called  Earth,  too  deeply  absorbed  in  the  discussion 
of  a  favorite  topic  to  notice  her  approach,  or,  perhaps,  too 
well  satisfied  with  their  own  good  company  to  wish  any 
addition  to  the  party.  Reduced  to  the  disagreeable 
necessity  of  enacting  listener — a  serious  inconvenience, 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  103 

it  must  be  recollected  to  one  of  her  sex — our  traveler 
was  not  long  in  discovering  the  subject  which  engrossed 
the  attention  of  her  uncivil  acquaintance  to  be,  the 
feasibility  of  transmuting  vegetables  from  one  species 
to  another.  A  thrifty  oak  sapling  had  the  honor,  it 
seems,  of  eliciting,  on  this  occasion,  the  opinion  of  the 
three  worthies  upon  a  subject  intimately  connected  with 
their  past  experience :  whether  it  was  its  happiness  as 
well  as  honor,  I  shall  not  pretend  to  decide. 

"  It  is  a  maxim  of  profound  wisdom,"  exclaimed  the 
senior  member,  "that  HABIT  is  a  second  NATURE." 
"Amen!"  cried  his  myrmidons;  "from  which  it  may 
be  inferred  that  there  is  NO  NATURE  at  all;  and — the 
difference  between  them  being  merely  the  result  of  acci 
dent — that  an  oak  may  bear  grapes  as  well  as  a  vine, 
when  it  has  only  acquired  the  habit  of  doing  so ! " 
"But  how  is  such  a  habit  to  be  superinduced?"  inter 
poses  the  unwelcome  intruder,  forgetting,  in  the  novelty 
of  this  singular  assertion,  the  slight  put  upon  her  person : 
"  how  can  it  be  done  ?" 

This  provokingly  impertinent  query  could  not  well  be 
parried ;  so  it  was  met  much  with  the  air  of  a  fashion 
able  about  to  accost  an  acquaintance  not  particiilarly 
agreeable,  but,  on  the  whole,  too  respectable  or  influen 
tial  to  be  a  proper  subject  for  the  cut  direct.  And,  in 
order  to  give  all  due  weight  to  the  reply,  it  was  deliv 
ered  with  very  imposing  solemnity  and  great  delibera 
tion  of  manner,  to  the  following  effect :  "  That  it  may  l>e 
done,  there  is  no  manner  of  doubt ;  for  do  we  not  read, 
'Just  as  the  twig  is  bent,  the  tree's  inclined;'"  "that 
is  to  say,  that  if  bent  awry,  it  will  grow  crooked." 
Not  deigning  to  notice  this  interruption,  save  by  an 
accession  of  dignity  intended  to  repress  all  such  insolent 


104  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

ebullitions  in  future,  the  speaker  proceeded :  "  From 
which  it  is  evident  that  an  oak  trained  in  the  form  of 
a  vine  will  assume  ite  properties."  "  By  no  means :  it 
is  idle  to  suppose  inherent  properties  can  be  transferred 
by  mere  change  of  form."  "  So  it  is  written ! "  "  Not 
by  an  unerring  pen,  however;  neither  would  it  sustain 
your  theory  if  it  were." 

Resorting  to  good,  sound  logic  is  a  condescension 
which  no  infallible  person  should  ever  be  expected  to 
make :  the  last  cavil  was,  therefore,  treated  with  proper 
contempt,  the  reply  alluding  solely  to  the  first  insinua 
tion.  "  Well,  then,  if  nothing  but  sacred  authority  will 
silence  your  foolish  objections,  has  not  the  son  of  Sirach 
said,  "  Train  ttp  a  child  in  the  way  he  should  go,  and 
when  he  is  old  he  witt  not  depart  from  it?  "  And  why 
should  not  the  rule  apply  to  vegetable  as  well  as  animal 
nature  ?  And,  beside,  are  not  ice  persons  of  approved 
judgment,  profound  sagacity,  and  incontestible  expe 
rience?"  "Of  considerable  experience,  I  admit,"  re 
joins  the  interlocutor,  glancing  significantly  toward  some 
sickly-looking  shrubs,  evidently  making  a  precarious 
struggle  for  existence ;  "  but  I  have  yet  to  learn  that  it 
has  been  successful." 

The  unparalleled  audacity  of  a  remark  and  appeal  so 
like  the  argumentum  ad  hominem  had  well  nigh  over 
set  the  theory  and  equanimity  of  our  horticulturists; 
however,  they  rally  with  tolerable  grace,  put  the  best 
face  possible  upon  the  matter,  and  resume  with  more 
nonchalance  and  urbanity  than  could  have  been  ex 
pected  after  so  severe  a  rebuff.  "To  be  stire,  our  efforts 
have  not  been  as  successful  as  we  could  wish  hitherto, 
owing  to  some  untoward  events,  and  perhaps  to  some 
little  inadvertence  on  our  part;  but  now,  with  our 


LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

accumulated  experience,  concentrated  energy  and  inde 
fatigable  seal,  every  obstacle  must  be  obviated." 

'•Admitting,  then,  that  success  is  certain,  (which  by 
the  way  I  very  much  doubt,)  what  gain  will  there  be 
sufficient  to  counterbalance  the  toil  of  attainment  2  Why 
is  an  oak  less  valuable  than  a  vine  ?  Is  not '  the  mon 
arch  of  the  hills,'  the,  personification  of  majesty  as  well 
as  beauty,  and  as  useful  as  magnificent  1  Is  it  not  found 
in  '  palace  hall  and  peasant  cot,'  on  desert  plain  and 
ocean  brine,  the  mighty  instrument  that  enables  man  to 
set  his  conquering  foot  on  the  subject  wave  and  outride 
the  fury  of  the  ocean  storm  I" 

"  It  is  the  emblem  of  pride  and  arrogance,"  retort  the 
trio,  indignant  at  the  idea  of  a  panegyric  on  the  oak, 
"and  for  this  alone  the  whole  species  ought  to  be  exter 
minated  !  It  usurps  a  place  that  might  support  a  tree 
bearing  fruit  nutritious  to  man,  is  frequently  a  partisan 
in  public  brawls  and  private  feuds,  and  further,  we  ap 
prove  not  those  vagrant  habits  which  thou  dost  covertly 
advocate,  and  it  is  so  well  calculated  to  sustain.  There 
fore  we  are  of  opinion  that '  He,  who  doeth  all  things 
well,'  would  have  done  a  little  better  had  he  created 
more  vines  and  fewer  oaks  in  our  domains ;  and  we  are 
resolved  to  tolerate,  from  henceforth,  nothing  so  excep 
tionable  in  our  premises." 

"You  must  exclude  the  vine  then,  if  trees  are  to  be 
condemned  for  the  use  made  of  their  productions ;  it 
may,  with  the  utmost  propriety,  be  termed  the  parent  of 
dissipation,  and  as  such  is  celebrated  in  the  annals  of 
strife.*' 

u  'Riey  were  profane  libelers  who  made  it  so.  Has  it 
not  the  immortal  honor  to  be  the  symbol  of  the  Church 
and  its  great  Lord  and  Master  I  It  cannot  but  be  well- 


106  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

pleasing  in  his  sight,  when  we,  his  creatures,  improve 
upon  his  work,  by  eradicating  the  properties  of  the  oak 
and  substituting .  those  of  his  chosen  emblem !  My 
friends,  let  us  set  about  this  glorious  work  immediately. 
It  must  infallibly  be  crowned  with  success." 

"I  fear  me  not — Nature  and  Fortune  are  but  wayward 
divinities,  and  often  thwart  the  best  concerted  schemes. 
However,  if  you  will  not  be  persuaded,  'go  on  and  pros 
per.'  I  will  call  when  I  return,  and  should  you  succeed, 
may  avail  myself  of  your  skill  in  behalf  of  some  eaglets, 
that  you  will  doubtless  think  proper  to  convert  into 
geese." 

"By  all  means,  and  we  shall  be  most  happy  to  oblige 
you,  though  we  cannot  exactly  coincide  with  you  in 
opinion." 

The  debate  thus  amicably  adjusted,  both  parties  be 
ing,  as  usual,  the  more  confirmed  in  their  own  opinion, 
the  process  was  commenced  immediately  after  Common 
Sense,  (who  was  'never  a  party  to  such  an  experiment,) 
had  taken  her  leave.  With  one  accord,  the  victors  in 
the  "wordy  war"  repair  to  an  adjacent  forest,  select  a 
thrifty -looking  shrub  and  transfer  it  without  further  loss 
of  time  to  their  parterre — partly  for  the  convenience  of 
having  it  near  at  hand,  but  more  to  remove  it  from  the 
contagion  of  vicious  oaken  example.  Not  an  acorn  was 
tolerated  in  its  presence  lest  it  should  recall  unfavorable 
associations ;  vines  of  unexceptionable  deportment  sur 
rounded  it  on  every  side,  and  a  hundred  ligaments  on 
the  trunk  and  branches,  said  most  unequivocally,  "this 
is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it !"  Attentions,  suited  to  the 
importance  of  the  subject  and  the  dignity  of  the  occa 
sion,  were  duly  administered  "from  night  to  morn,  from 
morn  to  dewy  eve,"  and  nothing  but  the  indomitable 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  107 

pertinacity  of  an  oak,  prevented  it  from  being  a  vine  of 
most  exemplary  demeanor.  But  alas  for  obstinacy,  it 
neutralizes  every  effort  for  improvement,  and  so  it  did 
in  this  instance. 

When  Common  Sense  first  saw  the  PROTEGE,  it  had 
but  just  emerged  from  etiolation;  still  she  fancied  its 
native  vigor  not  sufficiently  exhausted  to  prevent  the  in 
cipient  spirit  of  rebellion  from  soon  developing  itself; 
though  not  caring  to  mar  the  enjoyment  of  others, 
merely  to  show  her  own  superior  discernment,  she  mag 
nanimously  forbore  to  express  such  an  opinion.  The 
experimentalists,  meanwhile,  continued  as  sanguine  as 
ever,  and  urged  her  to  bring  forward  the  eaglets,  but 
she  "preferred  waiting  the  result  of  the  present  experi 
ment,  or  until  such  time  at  least  as  the  birds  should 
have  become  sufficiently  hardy  to  endure  the  process 
without  endangering  their  lives." 

But  let  no  one  imagine  our  trio  suffered  aught,  of 
minor  consequence,  to  abstract  their  attention  from  what 
they  deemed  of  paramount  importance. 

They  were  indefatigable  in  their  exertions,  every  su 
perfluous  excrescence  was  carefully  removed;  but  no 
sooner  was  a  refractory  shoot  lopped  off  on  one  side, 
than  a  dozen  others  sprang  in  its  place,  or  some  other 
equally  exceptionable,  till,  at  length,  a  more  distorted- 
looking  shrub  never  set  every  principle  of  order  at  defi 
ance,  or  cast  its  uncouth  shade  on  the  fair  face  of  nature. 
Indeed,  the  returning  wanderer  seemed  half  inclined  to 
class  it,  with  —  "Forms  might  be  worshiped  on  the 
bended  knee,  and  yet  the  second  dread  command  be 
free!"  There  were  leaves  in  plenty,  and  boughs  in 
abundance,  and  angles  in  every  variety  the  most  devo 
ted  lover  of  geometry  could  desire ;  but  for  the  graceful 


108  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

curve  of  the  vine,  it  was  nowhere  to  be  found,  and  for 
grapes,  there  were  none  of  them.  But  that  was  no  man 
ner  of  consequence,  for  had  they  been  hung  on  the  horns 
of  the  moon,  they  would  have  been  equally  accessible. 
It  resembled  nothing  in  nature  very  nearly ;  but  if  a  com 
parison  must  be  had,  an  Ishmaelite  and  a  Bramble  will 
contest  the  honor  of  election. 

When  Common  Sense  next  re-visited  the  scene,  she 
was  received  quite  as  cordially  as  most  people  greet  one 
whose  advice  they  have  spurned,  when  he  comes  to  see 
his  prediction  verified.  There  was  a  change  in  the  PBO- 
TEGE  ;  its  native  vigor  had  been  exhausted  in  futile  ef 
forts  to  escape  its  unnatural  confinement,  the  hues  of 
autumn  were  ripe  mid  the  green  glories  of  summer,  and 
it  was  evident  it  could  not  long  survive  a  monument  of 
defeat !  It  was  no  time  to  taunt  them  with  their  discomfi 
ture,  it  was  too  apparent !  "  STBANGE,"  said  they ;  "  and 
after  all  the  pains  we  have  taken  —  PASSING  STKANGE!" 

"Not  at  aZZ,"  says  Common  Sense — "the  captive 
eagle  will  pine  in  bondage,  the  mountain  oak  will 
wither  and  die  in  an  ungenial  soil,  while  the  culturist 
is  vainly  looking  for  fruit  to  recompense  his  toil. 

"The  monarchs  of  crag  and  cliff  may  bask  in  the 
sun,  or  revel  in  the  storm,  for  me,  I  set  not  an  intruder's 
foot  in  their  dominions  1"  GLANDULA. 

A N.  F.,1835. 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  109 

LETTER    XI. 

EVERYTHING  IN  GENERAL  AND  NOTHING  IN  PARTICULAR. 

TO    S.    J.    S. 

L ,  Tenn.,  April,  1836. 

MY  DEAKEST  BROTHER: 

IF  you  find  my  letters  resemble  "  angel  visits  "  at  all, 
you  ought  to  be  very  thankful,  instead  of  complaining  that 
"for  the  last  twelvemonth  they  are  becoming  brief ',"  as 
well  as  "few  and  far  between." 

I  am  sorry  the  circumstance  has  given  j<>u  pain,  and 
do  assure  you  it  did  not  originate  in  any  waning  interest 
in  your  welfare ;  but  was  merely  the  natural  and  almost 
inevitable  result  of  extraneous  circumstances  and  our 
relative  change  of  position. >  "Othello's  occupation  's 
gone,"  you  no  longer  need  lecturing,  or  if  you  do,  I  shall 
hand  you  over  to  your  tutor,  who  will,  no  doubt,  perform 
the  operation  much  more  secundum  artem. 

You  know  it  is  always  my  pleasure  to  contribute  to 
yours,  so  if  by  virtue  of  seniority  I  happen  to  possess 
any  information  which  you  prefer  to  receive  through  my 
hands,  it  is  entirely  at  your  service ;  but  Stanley,  I  am 
not  your  superior,  and  wish  to  be  considered  as  such 
no  longer !  It  is  disagreeable  to  be  overrated ;  when  any 
thing  is  elevated  above  the  true  medium,  it  has  to  fall 
as  much  below,  before  it  recovers  the  equilibrium,  and 
for  this  facilis  descensus  Averni,  or  as  Falstaff  has  it, 
"Alacrity  in  sinking,"  I  have  no  very  special  predilec 
tion.  We  all  know  what  to  expect  from  a  hot-house 
growth,  and  it  is  not  the  possession  of  any  extra  facul- 


110  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

ties,  or  the  excess  of  ordinary  ones,  that  makes  rne  "so 
much  older  in  intellect  than  years ;"  but  the  simple  fact, 
that  adverse  fortunes  forced  such  as  I  have  into  prema 
ture  action.  It  is  only  the  worm  can  be  trampled  with 
impunity  —  oppression  is  sure  to  strengthen  what  she 
cannot  fatally  depress.  But  "111  betide  the  school 
wherein  I  learned  to  ride,"  so  no  more  of  your  "on 
dits"  they  may  flatter  but  do  not  please.  Much  as 
Hercules  would  have  liked  a  compliment  on  his  spinning, 
or  Charles  the  Twelfth  the  reputation  of  taste  in  artifi 
cial  flower-making,  do  I  relish  these  suspicious  commen 
dations.  Yours,  of  course,  are  not  ironical  and  intended 
to  quiz;  but  where  "the  hand  of  affection  guides  the 
pen,"  the  partiality  of  friendship  is  liable  to  bias  the 
judgment.  And  besides,  "what  has  a  woman's  fearful 
heart  to  do  with  aught  like  fame,"  unless  it  be  to  bask 
in  the  soft  radiance  of  its  light  as  reflected  from  the 
brow  of  another?  So  speak  me  no  more  speeches,  re 
peat  me  no  more  reports,  I  entreat  you. 

And  still  less  would  I  have  you  suspect  "the  change 
in  your  feelings  respecting  the  relative  value  of  'things 
temporal  and  things  spiritual,'"  to  have  wrought  any  in 
mine  toward  you.  Not  so,  my  brother!  It  is  matter  of 
no  ordinary  gratulation,  that  you  are  now  free  to  devote 
your  time,  your  thoughts  and  energies  to  pursuits  which 
your  situation  so  imperiously  imposes,  unannoyed  by 
the  harassing  and  forever  recurring  conviction,  that  the 
mightier  interests  of  the  future  are  all  uncared  for!  I 
may  well  envy  you  the  calm  happiness  of  an  assured 
belief,  the  lofty  serenity  with  which  one,  who  has  an 
chored  his  hopes  steadfastly  on  the  future,  can;  some 
times  at  least,  if  not  always,  survey  the  shifting  scenes 
of  life's  panorama ;  but  there  must  be  no  alienation  of 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  Ill 

affection,  no  diminution  of  confidence  between  us,  no 
reserve,  no  estrangement,  unless  you  would  indeed  have 
me  believe  that  there  is  really  something  odiously  self- 
righteous,  prescriptive  and  hateful  in  all  religion ! 

So  just  write  on  whatever  you  feel  like  writing,  and 
never  doubt  that  it  will  all  be  welcome,  even  should  you 
take  it  into  your  head  to  be  so  excessively  good  that 
your  "guardian  angel"  could  venture  to  give  up  his 
garrison,  and  you  to  play  Rhadamanthus's  old  woman, 
and  set  about  correcting  everybody's  faults  but  your 
own.  Though  in  that  case  you  might  lack  for  canoniza 
tion  very  shortly,  for  I  should  be  certain  to  have  you 
down  on  my  list  as  a  sort  of  supplementary  saint,  more 
especially  as  there  are  some  vacancies,  and  I  find  but 
one  here  who  would,  even  with  the  proper  training,  be 
competent  to  take  the  highest  honors.  However,  there 
is  little  danger  of  that,  I  opine,  and  perhaps  it  was  not 
well,  or  wise  in  me,  to  suppress  the  fact,  that  subsequent 
to  my  attack  of  scarlet  fever,  in  May  last,  I  was  never 
able  to  trace  more  than  a  dozen  lines  at  a  time  prior  to 
my  leaving  New  York,  and  had  not  fully  recovered  from 
the  debilitating  effects  of  a  change  from  limestone  to 
river  water,  and  vice  versa,  when  I  wrote  you  last ;  for 
it  seems  you  have  contrived  to  torment  yourself  just  as 
much  as  if  you  had  actually  known  the  worst. 

But  I  will  just  thank  you  not  to  be  quite  so  ingenious 
in  making  yourself  miserable  hereafter,  and  see  no  great 
use  in  your  worrying  yourself  to  death  to  discover  "  the 
tone  of  my  feelings  from  the  tenor  of  my  letters."  They 
form  no  certain  or  infallible  criterion — Cowper  was  not 
the  only  one  who  ever  wrote  a  facetious  article  to  ward 
off  a  legion  of  the  blues — and  if  my  spirits  are  not  always 
at  the  alto  pitch,  you  are  not  bound  to  suppose  yourself 


112  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

the  cause — though  1  don't  know,  being  one  of  Plato's 
chickens,  perhaps  you  can't  help  being  a  little  conceited ; 
but  there  are  others  who  sometimes  take  the  liberty  of 
disturbing  my  equanimity — his  saintship  for  instance. 
You  know  that  as  executor  on  that  farce  of  a  will,  he 
became  heir  to  the  spirit  in  which  it  was  dictated,  and  I 
do  believe,  thinks  me  a  more  potent  witch  than  she  of 
Endor;  for  notwithstanding  he  considers  Evelyn  alto 
gether  too  immaculate  to  be  "art  and  part"  to  any  of 
my  misdoings,  he  is  so  jealous  of  a  "malign  influence" 
somewhere,  that  his  last  dispatches  exhibit  anything  but 
dispatch.  Verily,  he  ought  to  go  down  on  his  knees, 
morning  and  evening,  and  pray  long  and  fervently  for 
the  health  and  prosperity,  spiritual  and  temporal,  of  Mr. 
Secrectary  Woodbury,  (I  presume  he  never  heard  of 
Junius,)  he  owes  it  to  him  in  common  justice  for  having 
revived  a  phrase  so  precisely  embodying  what  he  wished 
to  think.  It  requires  great  effort  you  know,  at  times,  to 
get  an  idea  to  assume  a  palpable  form ;  but  despite  his 
implicit  confidence  and  her  own  peerless  perfection, 
Evelyn  will  "manage"  him  so,  that  his  aversion  to  me 
shall  not  light  upon  you.  And  much  as  it  grieves  me, 
(knowing  him  to  be  a  very  cordial  "hater,")  I  feel  bound 
to  say  to  himself  and  others,  charitable  enough  to  close 
their  eyes  so  resolutely  to  the  fine  assortment  of  imper 
fections  which  I  have,  and  endow  me  so  liberally  with 
those  I  have  not,  that  they  really  must  not  flatter  them 
selves  I  am  "insane"  enough  to  reciprocate  their  ill- 
will,  or  do  anything  worse  than  "let  them  alone  very 
severely"  for  indeed  I  do  hope  to  hear  their  disappro 
bation  very  stoically,  so  long  as  it  continues  the  same 
matter  of  perfect  indifference  that  it  always  has  been, 
save  where  your  interests  were  concerned. 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  113 

Your  opinion,  however,  is  quite  another  affair;  but 
it's  clearly  undutiful  of  you,  to  suppose  I "  regret  the  sacri 
fice  I  have  made,  and  pine  for  my  native  New  York  and 
the  society,"  voluntarily  "relinquished."  My  BROTHER, 
do  you  call  the  unrestricted  exercise  of  your  own  good-will 
and  pleasure  a  sacrifice  ?  "Well,  perhaps  it  may  be  so 
to  you  men,  who  are  born  "lords  of  the  ascendant," 
though  in  that  case  you  must  be  a  very  self-sacrificing  set, 
and  it's  melancholy  to  think  how  you  must  yearn  for  the 
luxury  of  being  more  amenable  to  good  advice  than  you 
commonly  are,  and  what  martyrdom  you  will  endure 
rather  than  allow  us  "womankind"  the  special  treat  of 
"a  little  brief  authority."  But  did  it  never  occur  to 
your  wisdom,  that  it  is  little,  very  little,  for  the  bird  of 
passage  to  shake  from  her  dewy  plume  the  germ  of  a 
mighty  tree,  but  much  if  when  faint  and  worn  with  wan 
dering,  she  can  hope  to  return,  fold  her  weary  wing  and 
nestle  securely  beneath  its  spreading  branches  ?  As  re 
spects  the  other  intimation — 

I  tread  a  path  I  shall  not  return, 

For  a  fiery  spirit  goads  me  on  ; 
And  the  haughty  heart  will  inly  burn 

To  grasp  the  ancient  glories  gone. 

For  life,  for  life  I  fly  the  toil, 

Nor  reck  I  of  my  being's  wane ; 
Let  but  its  lamp  supply  the  oil 

That  lights  thee  on  to  glory's  wane. 

Let  but  one  thought  of  me  awake 

The  sleeping  god  within  thy  soul, 
How  freely  would  these  heartstrings  break 

To  hail  thee  first  at  honor's  goal. 

I  care  not  if  the  cypress  shade, 
Fling  shadows  o'er  this  form  of  mine, 

Let  but  these  hands  the  ivy  braid, 
For  that  resplendent  brow  of  thine, 


114  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES 

Let  me  but  see  a  lofty  race, 

Once  more  a  noble  name  adorn, 
I'll  be  the  star  that  hides  its  face, 

Before  the  rising  god  of  morn ! 

Lastly,  no  insinuations  about  society,  if  you  please. 
I  find  that  which  is  very  good :  chiefly  among  middle- 
aged  married  people,  it  is  true ;  but  that  is  because 
ladies  marry  earlier  here  in  the  South-West  than  in  al 
most  any  other  civilized  country  on  the  globe.  Of  course 
they  cannot  be  expected  to  know  much  about  matters 
and  things  in  general ;  for  it  takes  time  to  observe  and 
reflect,  and  they  never  get  beyond  sixteen  before  they 
get  out  of  the  state  of  "  single  blessedness,"  or  twenty- 
five  ever  after — they  may  become  widows,  you  know — 
unless  compelled  to  don  a  cap  or  wig  to  hide  their  gray 
hairs. 

I  believe  they  were  all  rather  scandalized  at  not  seeing 
the  former  instead  of  "  natural  curls"  on  my  arrival ; 
so,  to  mystify  them  a  little  more,  often  refer  carelessly, 
as  if  eye-witness,  to  events  that  occurred  about  the  time 
of  my  birth,  or  perhaps  five  or  ten  years  earlier,  and 
then,  again,  don't  choose  or  don't  feel  able  to  recollect 
others  that  transpired  as  much  later :  for  all  of  which,  I 
dare  say,  they  think  me  a  very  bungling  romancer ;  but 
I  can  see  they  are  puzzled,  and  enjoy  it  finely.  A 
straight-forward  Yankee  query,  or  regular  cross-exam 
ination,  would  soon  spoil  the  fun ;  but  that  would  be 
the  neplus  ultra  of  impertinence,  and  no  Southron  could 
be  so  rude.  However,  no  lady — no  Northern  one  par 
ticularly — should  ever  compromise  her  reputation  for 
commmon-sense  and  veracity  by  specifying  her  age  at 
all.  No  lady  under  fifty  is  expected  to  tell  hers  cor 
rectly;  nor  even  then,  if  she  chance  to  be  widow  or 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  115 

spinster:  so,  all  she  would  gain  by  speaking  the  truth 
would  be,  to  be  suspected  of  telling  a  falsehood;  it 
being  customary  to  add  at  least  two  years  to  the  reck 
oning  of  any  one  reported  by  herself,  or  friends,  to  be 
under  twenty,  and  Jive  to  that  of  those  admitting  them 
selves  so  much  in  the  decline  of  life  as  to  have  reached 
what  legal  courtesy  calls  "years  of  discretion."  Should 
any  temeraire  say  "  thirty"  the  hearer  would,  of  course, 
take  a  little  more  latitude,  and  add  another  jive  to  his 
extra  "  allowance." 

Mais  revenons,  I  have  as  much  society  as  I  care  for ; 
though  the  misery  of  these  little  villages  is,  rival  parties 
are  forever  on  the  alert  "foolishly  and  gallantly  to  stab 
and  dirk  each  other  for  the  crown  o'  the  causeway!" 
Consequently,  the  unlucky  wight  who  has  the  bad  taste 
to  fancy  "  sitting  on  a  rail,"  is  in  imminent  danger  of 
being  precipitated  from  his  "high  estate"  into  the  mire 
of  neglect.  Could  I  feel  assured  no  other  would  ever 
annoy  me,  I  should  esteem  myself  singularly  fortunate. 
The  genius  for  "improvement"  is  by  no  means  peculiar 
to  the  land  of  "  blue  laws ; "  but  the  "  go-ahead  "  system 
doesn't  seem  to  nourish  in  Tennessee  as  well  as  might 
be  expected,  considering  that  the  phrase  is  indigenous. 
They  would  cut  a  canal  in  New  England,  or  construct  a 
railroad  in  New  York,  in  less  time  than  it  takes  to  pave 
a  bit  of  a  sidewalk  or  make  a  common  twenty-mile 
turnpike  in  this  region.  If  I  might  be  allowed  a  con 
jecture  on  anything  so  much  above  a  woman's  ken  as 
the  cause  of  this  difference,  I  should  say  there  were  too 
many  ruling  members  in  all  bodies  corporate,  and  too 
few  subordinates  in  proportion.  There  is  much  prac 
tical  good  sense  in  the  vulgar  adage,  "  too  many  cooks 


116  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

spoil  the  ~broth" — to  say  the  least,  they  retard  the  cook 
ing.  MOVING  SLOW  is,  too,  one  of  the  prescriptive  rights 
of  all  great  bodies,  and  contractors  here  cannot  avail 
themselves  of  the  impetus  which  "EXTRA  WAGES" 
gives  to  industry.  It  is  no  object  with  them  to  get 
three  months'  work  done  in  two,  for,  if  the  poor,  silly 
operatives  were  perverse  enough  to  die  in  consequence, 
it  might  not  be  their  own  exclusive  concern ;  and,  be 
sides,  they  have  them  to  feed,  whether  they  work  or  not. 
Slavery  hangs  like  an  incubus  on  the  wheels  of  internal 
improvement ;  but  the  recoil  affects  the  master,  not  the 
slave,  who  is  your  born  conservative,  and  jealous  as 
any  Lord  Eldon  of  radical  innovation  and  new-fangled 
notions. 

Now,  for  all  this,  I  expect  that  when  that  picture  I 
once  asked  you  for  does  come,  the  first  thing  I  shall 
spy  will  be  "  a  great  pearl,"  peering  out  from  under  a 
nice  crimped  cap,  surmounted  by  a  huge  pair  of  iron 
spectacles,  like  old  Dr.  Franklin's !  Hope  you'll  not 
have  the  conscience  to  make  me  look  as  much  like  an 
old  grimalkin  as  he  did,  if  the  limners  have  given  us  a 
correct  version  of  the  matter ;  for,  truly,  there  must  be 
"»more  things  in  heaven  and  earth  than  are  dreamt  of" 
in  woman's  philosophy,  or  the  owner  of  that  baboon- 
looking  phiz  had  never  electrified  the  world  with  any 
thing  but  a  laugh  at  his  own  expense.  Nobody  shall 
have  one  at  mine  though,  on  seeing  me  dished  up  in 
the  soup  maigre  of  an  album;  of  that  I  am  resolved. 
I  have  a  perfect  horror  of  the  things :  there  is  not  a  gen 
tleman  in  all  the  wide  length  and  breadth  of  the  land 
has  half  my  contemptible  opinion  of  the  pretty  nothings ; 
and,  much  as  I  regret  to  disoblige  so  highly  esteemed  a 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  117 

friend  of  yours  as  Mrs.  D.,  must  really  write  "  inad 
missible"  on  her  request.  Tell  her — anything  else; 
but  here  I  am  quite  impracticable. 

"  Some  people  never  know  when  they  are  well  off," 
and  it  seems  you  are  one  of  the  number;  but,  after 
giving  you  sufficient  time  to  achieve  the  perusal  of  this, 
(and  digest  the  Lecture  on  Political  Economy,)  I  shall 
look  impatiently  for  a  response.  Gentlemen  should 
always  be  punctual ;  though  ladies  cannot,  of  course, 
be  expected  to  practice  such  a  counting-house  virtue,  or 
submit  to  the  drudgery  of  writing  very  often  !  Evelyn 
requests  me  to  send  her  love  with  mine,  and  says  "  you 
may  now  expect  to  hear  from  her  very  soon."  So, 
adieu,  au  revoir,  mon  cherfrere. 

Ever,  ever  yours, 

LOUISE. 


LETTER   XII. 

GOSSIP  WITH  AN  OLD  SCHOOLMATE. 

L ,  Tenn.,  May  — ,  1836 

"  VEKY  WELL,  Miss  LUCY:  " 

TKY  some  new  legerdemain  next  time,  will  you  ?  You 
are  seen  through  now,  I  do  assure  you,  politic  as  you 
may  have  thought  yourself,  in  attempting  to  atone  for 
your  own  sins  of  omission  by  pretending  how  well  other 
people  kept  me  in  remembrance!  But  all  health  and 
prosperity  to  the  citizens  of  *  *  * ;  "  may  they  live  for 
ever,"  for  a  noble,  highly-cultivated,  and  intellectual 
specimen  of  humanity  as  they  are.  Certes,  they  must 
be  all  that,  if  they  persist  in  calling  me  "  beautiful ; " 
10 


118  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

which  no  one  else  does  "  now-a-days,"  except  some  dim- 
sighted  old  man,  unsophisticated,  passionless  child,  or 
dreamy  youth  whose  brain  is  filled  with  classic  visions 
of  Junos,  Minervas,  and  Calliopes !  And,  really,  it  is 
quite  a  relief:  who  cares  to  screw  a  smirk  on  to  one 
side  of  the  face,  while  a  sneer  comes  of  its  own  accord 
on  the  other,  and  all  to  return  a  civil  answer  to  a  silly 
speech  ?  Not  I ;  do  you  ? 

Tell  that  splendid  villain,  L ,  he  had  better  keep 

his  wife  alive  as  long  as  he  can ;  for,  when  she  is  gone, 
I  intend  to  take  him,  nolens  volens,  just  to  punish  his 
outrageous  impudence ;  and  won't  poor  Eveleen's  wrongs 
be  amply  revenged  under  my  administration  ?  His 
threat  of  discharging  his  pill-box  at  "the  counselor" 
means,  I  suppose,  that  he  would  be  a  formidable  com 
petitor.  If  you  suspect  it  implies  anything  more,  ask 
him :  how  should  I  divine  ?  I  presume  he  intends  his 
"  intimation  that  the  year  eighteen  hundred  and  thirty  - 
eight  has  come  and  gone,"  for  a  stroke  of  naivete ;  but 
it  can't  pass  !  He  has  been  quite  as  near  the  tropics  as 
I  am — has  always  had  the  use  of  his  eyes,  ears  and 
tongue  in  great  perfection,  and  must,  of  course,  know 
that  all  females  coming  from  beyond  "  thirty -seven  de 
grees,  twenty-eight  minutes,  North,"  are  regarded,  in 
this  latitude,  as  so  many  importations  from  Noah's 
Ark — sisters  or  daughters  of  the  proprietor,  names  not 
mentioned;  and,  consequently,  that  his  "precautions" 
would,  if  possible,  be  even  more  superfluous  than  his 
"  apprehensions." 

"  But,  really,  Miss,"  your  late  trip  seems  to  have 
been  quite  a  voyage  of  discovery,  and  very  successful, 
too,  judging  from  the  quantity  of  "gold"  that  glitters 
in  your  pages.  If  you  need  any  farther  information 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  119 

respecting  "gold  pencils"  and  "diamond  repeaters," 
apply  to  Mr.  Tonguetied  Telltale — "tied"  in  the  middle, 
I  mean,  so  that  it  runs  at  both  ends  ;  lie  is  a  very  com 
petent  judge  of  the  articles :  perhaps  you  may  have 
seen  some  specimen  of  his  taste  in  bijouterie.  And 
now  it  seems  he  has  turned  commentator  in  addition  to 
his  other  numerous  accomplishments,  and  elucidated 
"  certain  obscure  passages  in  a  vague  rumor  which  you 
never  fully  understood,"  (simply  because  it  was  never 
intended  you  should,)  "very  much  to  your  satisfaction." 
I  know  you  got  your  enlightenment  nowhere  else,  so 
please  say  to  this  Paul  Pry,  junior,  that  he  really  does 
intrude,  and  I  seldom  forget;  so  that  if  ever  I  do  get  a 
chance  to  pay  him  off  for  his  gratuitous  tattling,  he  may 
safely  reckon  on  compound  interest,  though  I  ought,  I 
suppose,  to  be  very  thankful  that  he  didn't  allow  the 
affair  to  transpire  while  I  was  exposed  to  moral  and 
matrimonial  lectures  extraordinary,  from  the  whole  tribe 
of  Saints,  who  would  in  that  case  have  felt  a  redoubled 
zeal  for  my  conversion,  not  to  mention  a  very  godly 
yearning  to  have  all  that  "  worldly  wealth,"  as  well  as 
my  "surpassing  talents,"  brought  into  the  service  of 
the  Sanctuary."  But  take  shame  to  yourself  for  your 
former  stupidity,  and  say  nothing  more  about  having 
recently  made  the  precious  discovery  "that  my  price 
must  be  rather  high,  as  neither  the  Miser's  Son  nor  the 
miser's  gold  could  buy "  me,  nor  my  pedigree !  The 
latter  was  all  "Yea  Yerily  "  wanted,  I  am  confident ;  for 
when  did  he  come  to  the  magnanimous  conclusion  to 
encumber  himself  with  a  wife  ?  Why  precisely  when 
he  found  that  I  had  unrestricted  intercourse  with  a  cer 
tain  clique,  into  which  he  and  his,  with  all  their  wealth 
and  sycophancy,  could  then  come  only  just  "  so  far  and 


120  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

no  farther,"  and  not  before.  This  thing  called  pride  of 
birth,  or  family  pride,  may,  like  the  principle  of  "origi 
nal  sin,"  (of  which  perhaps  it  is  only  a  ramification,) 
be  very  unreasonable  and  absurd ;  but  you  may  argue 
it  out  of  existence,  and  ridicule  it  into  nonentity,  and 
when  you  have  done  up  starts  the  hydra  in  full  life  and 
vigor.  So  I  give  you  fair  notice,  that  if  ever  I  am  free 
to  "commit  matrimony,"  " noble  or  not  I,"  will  be  my 
motto.  I  am,  at  best,  no  very  devout  believer  in  la 
belle  passion :  but  this  standing  up  in  the  presence  of 
one* s  Maker,  to  swear  to  three  falsehoods  in  a  breath, 
seems  to  me  rather  a  hazardous  experiment  for  one  pair 
of  ordinary  lungs,  and  as  I  don't  happen  to  belong  to  the 
aforementioned  tribe  of  saints,  think  it  just  possible  that 
mine  might  fail  me  in  my  hour  of  utmost  need,  and  leave 
me  to  die  of  strangulation ;  for  how  a  woman  expects  to 
"honor"  one  she  contemns,  and  "obey"  one  she  con 
siders  her  inferior,  exceeds  my  comprehension ! 

I  am  not  so  incorrigibly  stupid  though,  that  I  cannot 
learn  the  worth  of  money  by  the  want  of  it,  and  do  ad 
mit  that  "a  fine  fortune's  a  fine  thing,"  and  150,000  a 
very  goodly  array  of  figures ;  but  set  a  cipher  at  their 
head,  and  then  see !  If  it  does  not  materially  alter  their 
specific  value,  there  must  be  some  little  flaw  in  my 
"  great  mathematical  powers  "  somewhere. 

But  supposing  ever  so  respectable  a  figure  to  stand  at 
the  head  of  such  a  fortune,  I  doubt  whether  it  would 
much  conduce  to  the  happiness  of  a  woman  without  any 
to  become  its  nominal  mistress.  "  Mated  not  matched," 
is  a  remark  that  would  too  often  apply  to  such  a  connec 
tion.  Moore's  "hearts  never  changing  and  brow  never 
cold,"  is  very  good  poetry,  nothing  more.  He  has  him 
self  distinctly  referred  to  the  "poet's  privilege"  of  being 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  121 

"three  removes  from  truth,"  and  men,  with  their  cal 
lous  sensibilities  and  overweening  estimate  of  wealth, 
will,  in  their  moments  of  irritation  or  heedless  levity, 
let  slip  no  opportunity  for  taunting  their  wives  with  the 
want  of  it.  And  then  there  is  no  true  woman  but  must 
feel,  that  in  that  one  hour  of  sorrow  and  shame,  she  has 
paid  an  exorbitant  price  for  the  wealth  of  a  world,  could 
it  all  have  been  laid  at  her  feet;  were  it  subject  to  her 
control,  how  freely  would  she  give  it  back,  to  have  those 
words  of  bitterness  unthought  and  unspoken!  They 
were  an  insult  offered  to  the  defenseless,  an  indignity 
to  the  helpless,  and  "the  iron"  has  "entered  the  soul." 
Men  know  nothing  of  all  this,  for  the  reason,  I  believe, 
that  very  few  find  any  such  fastidious  scruples  in  their 
own  bosoms.  So  they  can  "put  gold  in  their  purse," 
it  matters  little  to  them  how  they  come  by  it;  what  they 
have  that  will  they  hold,  and  there  is  so  deeply  interwoven 
with  every  fiber  of  their  natures  a  calm  consciousness  of 
power,  a  pervading  sense  of  superiority,  that  it  never 
enters  their  heads  to  suppose  that  any  woman  horn,  can 
possibly  think  of  them  as  inferiors ;  (the  poor  conceited 
creatures  how  they  are  mistaken ;)  but  woman  is  a  be 
ing  of  a  different  order.  She  is  seldom  allowed  the  dis 
posal  of  property,  nor  does  she  greatly  desire  it;  for  she 
has  learned  to  feel  that  it  is  nothing  to  her,  further  than 
it  administers  to  her  present  comfort  and  obviates  the 
apprehension  of  future  want.  A  cross-grained  temper, 
or  capricious  will,  often  neutralizes  one  or  the  other  of 
these  advantages,  and  any  man,  possessed  of  sufficient 
energy  to  command  the  admiration  and  respect  of  a  sen 
sible  woman,  can  easily  secure  her  the  former.  I,  yon 
know,  should  never  be  able  to  comprehend  how  any 
"son  of  Adam"  could  confer  a  favor  by  wedding  my 


122  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

father's  daughter ;  then  why  should  I  subject  myself  to 
the  living  puppyism,  or  posthumous  tyranny  of  any 
"wayward  clod  of  marl?"  If  the  old  Roman  laws  did 
classify  women  and  children  as  "goods  and  chattels," 
I  know  no  precedent  for  considering  men  household  fur 
niture,  and  see  no  reason  why  they  should  be  expected 
to  come  "in  a  concatenation  accordingly"  among  my 
ideas  of  matters  and  things. 

You  see,  I  have  law,  and  gospel,  as  well  as  reason 
and  common  sense,  on  my  side  yet,  so  no  more  about 
" caprice"  if  you  please.  Nature  endowed  me  with  a 
spice  too  little  of  vanity,  and  too  much  of  pride,  for  a 
regular  coquette ;  a  fact  in  natural  history  which  you 
ought  to  have  learned  long  ago,  either  from  your  own 
observation,  or  the  philosophic  acumen  of  the  "right 
worshipful"  Dr.  Longtongue,  one  too,  which  you  will 
please  impart  to  any  of  your  new  found  Athenian  ac 
quaintances,  who  may  have  been  heedless  enough  to 
contract  an  erroneous  opinion. 

I  regret  to  hear  that  that  once  delightful  village  is 
losing  its  social  and  literary  character,  while  advancing 
in  wealth  and  external  prosperity ;  "  in  my  time  "  it  was 
"like  Paris  in  the  days  of  the  gay  Boccacio,  a  place  To 
know  the  reasons  of  things  and  the  causes  of  the  same 
as  became  a  gentleman." 

Please  remind  your  cousin,  Mrs.  O.,  that  I  made  my 
"loyal  subject"  no  "promise"  in  which  she  did  not 
fully  participate ;  consequently,  could  only  have  agreed 
to  go  into  "  committee  of  the  whole,"  and  see  what  ways 
and  means  could  be  devised  for  his  relief,  "if  in  making 
the  whole  tour  of  the  United  States,  he  failed  to  dispose 
of  his  single-blessedness."  In  no  supposable  case  did  I 
ever  stipulate  to  take  so  stale  an  article  off  his  bands ! 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  123 

It  has  not  been  in  market  so  very  long,  to  be  sure ;  but 
then  it  is  considerably  damaged  by  frequent  exposal. 
I  think  one  of  his  old  "flames"  used  to  say,  "that  no 
young  lady  of  his  acquaintance  would  ever  die  an  '  old 
maid,'  for  want  of  having  had,  at  least,  one  opportunity 
to  inscribe  Mrs.  on  her  tomb-stone ;  though,  no  doubt, 
he  and  other  gentlemen  think  they  all  deserve  to  do  so, 
for  having  rejected  him,  simply  because  others  had  done 
so  before  them.  But  that  isn't  the  fair  way  of  stating 
the  case ;  no  gentleman  likes  to  be  made  the  pis  oiler 
among  his  compeers :  then  why  should  not  a  high- 
minded,  sensitive  lady  consider  it  a  covert  insult  rather 
than  a  "compliment"  (Heaven,  save  the  mark! — I 
wonder  what  these  men  think  they  are  ?)  for  one  of  the 
bipeds  to  propose  to  her,  after  having  made  it  obvious 
to  herself  and  all  her  acquaintance  that  he  would  prefer 
half  a  dozen  others,  if  they  were  to  be  had  ?  However, 
this  sort  of  reasoning  will  not  serve  your  turn,  should 
he  chance  to  address  you  a  year  or  two  hence ;  so,  if 
you  happen  to  fancy  him,  (and,  really,  I  see  no  reason 
why  you  might  not,)  do  not  be  vexed  if  I  say  take  Mm, 
for  he  would  be  certain  to  make  a  caro  sposo  of  the  first 
water;  and  you  know  he  had  never  seen  you  when 
making  love  to  your  predecessors,  a  circumstance  which 
makes  all  the  difference  imaginable. 

Now,  in  place  of  all  this  nonsense,  I  dare  say  I  might 
be  much  better  employed  in  reading  you  a  wise  lecture 
on  the  inexpediency  of  going  abroad  into  society  before 
leaving  school.  And,  indeed,  I  should  cavil  thereat,  if 
you  were  not  situated  exactly  as  you  are  at  home ;  first, 
because  it  creates  the  impression  that  you  are  several 
years  older  than  you  are;  second,  because  it  unsettles 
your  mind  for  study ;  and,  third,  because  (if  the  whole 


124  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

truth  must  be  told,)  I  don't  fancy  being  seduced  into  so 
much  egotism  as  I  find  I  am  by  your  allusions  to  past 
times  and  old  associates.  The  last  time  I  wrote  Stanley, 
I  had  to  forbid  him  "speaking  me  any  more  speeches;" 
but  it's  no  use  trying  to  stop  a  woman's  tongue,  (or  pen.) 
so  I  merely  forewarn  you,  that,  when  "  the  eye  of  a 
painter,  the  tongue  of  a  poet,  and  the  brain  of  a  philo 
sopher "  happened  to  be  located  in  the  head  of  a  woman, 
there  is  some  little  danger  that  the  whole  concern,  ("  the 
face  of  an  angel "  not  excepted,)  may  be  turned  topsy 
turvy  by  such  excessive  compliments,  coming,  too,  from 
such  a  source.  If  that  doesn't  suffice,  I  shall  esteem  it 
my  "bounden  duty"  to  apprise  your  honored  papa,  that, 
unless  he  keeps  you  at  home  next  vacation,  there  is  a 
remote  possibility  that  you  may,  in  time,  become  as 
great  a  gossip  as  any  gentleman  of  his  acquaintance. 
This  may  sound  rather  odd  to  people  who  hold  to  the 
old  version  and  take  it  all  for  gospel ;  but  you,  I  pre 
sume,  have  often  admired  the  consummate  tact  and 
great  generosity  of  "  the  lords  paramount,"  in  making 
over  to  us,  the  "better  half"  of  creation,  not  only  the 
exclusive  merit  of  their  own  excessive  talking,  but  also 
the  entire  renown  of  their  own  extensive  achievements 
in  the  tell-tale  line ;  and,  really,  they  do  deserve  great 
credit  for  their  cleverness  !  Isn't  it  rare  fun  to  see  one 
of  them  pretend  to  rouse  up  from  his  book,  nap,  or 
newspaper,  just  long  enough  to  say,  "  Do  hush  your 
foolish  gossip,"  (how  did  he  know  it  was  gossip  if  he 
hadn't  been  listening  ?)  and  then  relapse,  looking  quite 
as  wise  and  a  little  more  virtuous  than  ever ;  though  he 
knows  very  well  he  has  just  absorbed  the  pith  of  the 
whole  matter,  and  is  now  busy  digesting  and  arranging 
it  in  a  more  available  form.  But  "  the  cream  of  the 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  125 

joke"  is,  to  see  old  maids,  and  other  old  women,  tricked 
out  in  borrowed  plumes,  as  high -priestesses  of  Madam 
Rumor,  when  we  all  know  they  must  derive  their  inspira 
tion,  directly  or  indirectly,  from  the  husbands,  sons, 
fathers  and  brothers  of  themselves  or  their  acquaint 
ance.  I  have  been  "takin'  notes,"  mentally,  on  this 
subject,  for  years,  "  and,  faith,"  I'd  like  "  to  prent 
'em ; "  but  it  would  never  do,  for  there  would  be  all 
the  primum  mobiles  so  incensed  at  finding  the  tables 
turned,  and  themselves  detected  and  exposed,  that  they 
would  contrive  some  way  to  make  their  aids  and  accom 
plices  feel  so  highly  insulted  at  being  rated  as  mere 
"  cats' -paws"  after  having  been  considered  principals 
from  time  immemorial,  that  poor  Truth  would  fain  have 
to  betake  herself  to  her  old  well  again,  and  there's  no 
telling  whether  she  ever  would  make  another  effort  to 
emerge ! 

jShould  you  find  yourself  rather  annoyed  and  dis 
gusted  by  this  undisguised  exhibition  of  innate  hauteur, 
just  thank  your  own  foolish  temerity  for  the  infliction  ; 
and  remember  that  your  humble  servant  is  more  excusa 
ble  for  making  Number  One  preside  rather  ostentatiously 
in  her  pages  than  you  could  possibly  be,  while  residing 
among  what  are  to  both  of  us  familiar  scenes.  So,  in 
place  of  so  much  "  foreign  news,"  please  oblige  me  with 
a  little  "  domestic  intelligence"  in  your  next ! 

You  will  also  please  tender  my  best  respects  to  your 
excellent  father,  and  accept  for  "  Charlie"  and  yourself 
the  assurance  of  my  unabated  interest  in  your  welfare. 
Yours,  in  all  sincerity, 

LOUISE. 
11 


126  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

LETTER  XIII. 

ON  THE  DECEASE  OF  A  FAVORITE  BROTHER. 

TO    O.    F.    G.    AND    LADY. 

B e,  Term.,  Aug.  25,  1836. 

MY  RESPECTED  FRIENDS: 

It  is  with  great  effort,  though  mournful  pleasure,  that 
I  turn,  at  length,  from  the  deepest  gloom  of  self-com 
munion,  to  commune  awhile  with  those  I  believe  willing 
to  sympathize  with  me,  though  it  be  not  in  joy,  but  in 
grief! 

You  may  have  heard  ere  this,  that  the  brother,  for  the 
furtherance  of  whose  fortunes  my  sister  and  self  were 
"strangers  in  a  land  not  ours,"  is  numbered  no  more 
among  the  living!  But  none  can  ever  learn,  save  l>y 
bitter  experience,  how  utterly  desolate  is  the  heart  when 
its  last  bud  of  promise  is  withered — its  last  hope  is 
blighted  —  when  the  solitary  star  is  stricken  from  the 
horizon,  how  deep  and  hopeless  is  the  darkness  that  en 
sues  !  When  last  I  stood  by  the  grave  of  a  buried  father, 
I  vainly  deemed  that  fate  had  done  her  worst — that  come 
what  would  "the  worst  had  fallen  that  could  befall" — 
vainly  indeed,  when  at  that  very  moment  I  was  concen 
trating  all  the  powers,  and  entwining  all  the  affections 
of  my  nature  around  one,  who  was  to  me  in  place  of  all 
the  social  relations  of  life.  But  oh  !  we  dreamed  not  of 
this !  The  thought  of  him,  the  noble,  the  talented,  and 
the  good,  as  the  pride  of  his  name,  the  ornament  of 
"  earth's  high  places,"  not  as  the  tenant  of  the  lowly  tomb! 
To  him  we  looked  for  a  completion  of  the  brilliant  profes- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  127 

sional  career,  which  closed  so  prematurely  in  our  father's 
early  grave.  For  this  have  we  endured  hardship  and 
courted  danger,  self-denial,  and  toil,  "  counting"  not  even 
our  lives  "as  dear  unto  ourselves,"  when  weighed  in  the 
balance  with  aught  that  "could  minister  to  his  pleasure 
or  his  profit."  And  now,  the  clods  of  the  valley  press 
heavily  down  on  his  young  bosom;  but  colder  and 
heavier  far  on  the  hearts  of  the  living!  And  oh,  the 
bitter  agony  of  his  last  hour  of  consciousness,  its  specter 
will  haunt  me  to  the  grave!  True,  he  died  not  "un- 
tended  and  unmourned ;"  but  where  was  he  ?  Far  away 
from  the  friends  of  his  youth  and  the  home  of  his  child 
hood,  and  where  were  they  who  should  have  stood  by 
that  bed  of  death  and  soothed  the  parting  spirit  ?  Far 
off  on  the  distant  paths  of  life,  sacrificing  ease,  and 
health,  and  social  intercourse,  submitting  cheerfully  to 
care,  privation,  neglect,  and  indignity — closing  the  aven 
ues  of  the  heart  to  all  affection  that  might  beguile  a 
thought  from  that  shrine  of  the  soul's  deep  idolatry,  and 
counting  it  all  honor  and  happiness  thus  to  sacrifice  and 
be  sacrificed  for  him — and  all  for  this,  for  this  !  Then, 
too,  conies  the  maddening  idea,  that  a  knowledge  of  this 
absorbing  interest  in  him  was  undoubtedly  one  cause 
of  that  "  intense  application  "  that  accelerated  his  early 
doom. 

One  of  his  classmates  writes  :  "The  physicians  think 
your  brother's  disease  a  '  hectic,  terminating  unexpect 
edly  in  a  brain  fever,  incurred  probably  by  too  early  and 
intense  application  to  study,  after  a  partial  recovery 
from  a  severe  attack  of  typhus.'  He  died  June  10th, 
and  was  interred  on  the  evening  of  the  12th." 

o 

His  mortal  remains  may  incorporate  with  the  valley 
of  the  Connecticut ;  his  memory  there  pass  away  with  his 


128  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

associates,  but  we  shall  remember!  The  one  verdant 
spot  in  the  wide  waste  of  existence,  the  lone  spring  in 
its  desert,  they  are  not  lightly  forgotten,  though  the  eye 
be  gladdened  no  more  with  their  beauty,  nor  the  heart 
rejoice  in  their  loveliness !  And  oh ! 

He  comes  no  more — he  comes  no  more — 
The  cherished  dead  whom  we  bewail ; 
But  hopeless  hearts  shall  long  deplore 
The  sleeper  in  that  distant  vale. 

He  was  the  magnet  that  could  bind, 

Thoughts,  affections,  all  to  him; 
The  brilliant  focus  that  combined, 

Rays  of  a  light  that  grows  not  dim. 

The  light  of  love  that  ne'er  expires, 

Though  hope  no  more  may  feed  its  flame; 

And  wrecked  ambition  shun  its  pyres, 
To  brood  o'er  dreams  of  baffled  fame. 

He  was  the  fountain  at  whose  tide 

Our  thirsty  spirits  turned  to  drink, 
"When  other  founts  grew  chill,  or  dried, 

As  life  hung  fainting  o'er  their  brink. 

We  know  that  he  has  passed  to  lands, 
Fairer  than  all  that  wooed  his  stay ; 

But  who  that  treads  life's  burning  sands, 
Exults  for  streams,  far,  far  away, 

It  may  be  unmitgated  selfishness  too,  that  induces  me 
to  obtrude  this  expression  of.my  sorrows  upon  you,  when 
I  know  that  how  much  soever  you  may  sympathize  with 
me  in  this  sore  affliction,  it  is  utterly  impossible  for  you 
to  realize  how  very,  very  different  is  his  loss  from  that 
of  a  brother  under  ordinary  circumstances ;  and,  there 
fore,  as  you  have  been  pleased  to  evince  a  very  cordial 
interest  in  my  personal  welfare,  will  endeavor  to  give 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  129 

some  account  of  my  present  position  and  prospects, 
though  it  seems  almost  sacrilege  to  think  or  speak  of 
anything  but  him. 

I  reside  with  Col.,  brother  to  Dr.  C.  H.  B.,  formerly 
of  your  place.  He  is  an  old  Virginian,  energetic  and 
public-spirited ;  and  both  himself  and  lady  make  every 
exertion  to  render  me  comfortable  as  possible.  With 
society  I  have  little  intercourse ;  but  what  I  do  see  is 
uncommonly  good,  and  has  every  appearance  of  being 
perfectly  harmonious.  My  health  is  similar  to  what  it 
was  during  the  early  half  of  our  acquaintance,  and  I  am 
taking  wine  very  freely,  not  that  I  care  to  be  well,  but 
because  it  is  inconvenient  to  be  sick.  The  school  con 
sists  of  older  and  better  classified  pupils,  and  is  conse 
quently  more  agreeable  than  that  of  your  village;  my 
"prospects " are  said  also  to  be  flattering,  but  it  is  nothing 
to  me  now,  and  I  am  not  flattered.  When  my  thoughts 
first  reverted  to  the  necessity  of  some  action  in  reference 
to  the  subject,  I  should  have  canceled  the  engagement 
unhesitatingly,  could  it  have  been  honorably  done.  But 
it  is  as  well  perhaps  as  it  is,  having  no  longer  an  object 
in  life,  it  is  of  course  no  object  for  me  to  live,  and  the 
remaining  dregs  in  my  cup  of  bitterness  will  probably 
be  exhausted  sooner  in  this  way  than  any  other.  A 
similar  feeling,  I  believe,  prompted  sister  E.  to  accept  the 
proposals  of  the  gentleman  who,  you  know,  was  disap 
pointed  at  finding  me  pre-engaged.  The  first  half  of 
my  journey  was  as  agreeable  as  could  have  been  ex 
pected  ;  the  last  proved  very  lonely  and  fatiguing. 

Speaking  of  the  route  from  Nashville,  reminds  me  of 
the  promise  to  recant  my  heresy,  (if  such  I  found  it  to 
be,)  in  claiming  for  New  York  the  precedence  over  Ten 
nessee  in  point  of  natural  scenery. 


130  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Very  possibly  the  cloud  which  had  fallen  on  my  hopes, 
might  have  cast  a  gloom  over  the  landscape,  obscuring 
many  of  its  beauties,  still  enough  remained  to  prove  that 
I  was  not  altogether  blind  to  their  loveliness,  yet  not 
sufficient  to  make  me  retract  my  former  opinion.  True, 
"the  forests  are  not  surpassed"  by  any  I'ever  saw,  and 
there  is  almost  a  moral  grandeur  about  the  ancient  elm, 
and  giant  oak,  and  lordly  sycamore,  and  in  these  the 
South  and  West  is  unrivaled;  and  the  stupendous  "six 
days  labor  of  a  God  "  seems  almost  re-enacted  in  your 
presence,  as"  you  bound  rapidly  along  the  narrow  ridge, 
dividing  ravines,  which,  as  the  eye  vainly  attempts  to 
explore  their  verdant  depths,  seem  as  unbroken  a  wilder 
ness  as  when  the  sun  cast  his  first  warm  glance  of  ad 
miration  over  the  magnificent  solitudes  of  a  new-born 
creation  !  But  when  the  overwhelming  tide  of  emigra 
tion  shall  have  rolled  its  resistless  wave  over  the  whole 
length  and  breadth  of  the  land ;  when  the  improvidence 
of  the  settlers  shall  have  insinuated  their  "  wasty  ways" 
into  the  inmost  recesses  of  the  now  impervious  wild, 
stripping  the  forest  of  its  pride  and  the  vale  of  its 
beauty;  when  the  ruthless  hand  of  civilization  shall 
have  despoiled  the  mountain  of  its  crown,  and  driven 
Flora  from  her  home  in  the  dell ;  where,  then,  will  be 
the  claims  of  Tennessee  to  compete  with  New  York? 
New  York !  with  her  hundred  lakes  and  rivers,  now  re 
posing  in  some  beautiful  valley,  soft  as  the  smile  of 
sleeping  infancy,  now  dashing  madly  onward  in  scorn 
of  all  that  obstructs  their  career!  her  magnificent  high 
lands,  with  their  "  cloud-capped  brows,"  and  "  hues  all 
born  in  heaven ! "  and  the  never-to-be-forgotten,  peerless 
Niagara,  the  last  impress  of  the  finger  of  God  on  his 
own  perfect  creation ! 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  131 

Oh  no,  I  cannot  yield  New  York ;  though  I  can  tell 
why  Evelyn  does  not  appreciate  its  beauties :  she  has 
not  seen  the  half  of  them,  Tier  observation  having  been 
limited,  chiefly,  to  the  line  of  the  Erie  Canal,  which, 
with  the  exception  of  a  few  fine  points,  intersects  the 
least  picturesque  portions  of  the  state,  crossing  sections 
of  ten,  twenty,  thirty,  and  even  sixty  miles  in  extent, 
which  would  closely  resemble  the  "bottoms"  in  the 
district,  had  not  the  careless  woodsmen  of  the  last  cen 
tury,  in  their  haste  to  effect  a  clearing,  kindled  fires, 
which  stripped  the  forest  of  its  foliage  for  thousands 
and  tens  of  thousands  of  acres  around.  The  hand  of 
Time  has  partially  repaired  the  ravage  of  man  and  the 
elements ;  but  hundreds  of  these  skeletons  of  the  past 
yet  remain,  lifting  their  scathed  trunks,  and  naked  arms 
and  blackened  brows  to  the  sunbeams,  and  casting  the 
gloom  of  their  own  desolation  alike  on  their  own  up 
start  children  of  the  forest  and  the  sons  of  their  ancient 
spoliators  !  In  truth,  it  is  not  easy  to  imagine  anything 
more  dismal ;  still,  these  are  but  specks  on  the  fair  face 
of  the  state ;  yet,  I  fancy,  sister's  disparaging  opinion 
of  its  scenery  may  fairly  be  traced  to  the  disagreeable 
impression  received,  while  an  invalid  child,  from  this 
very  source. 

Being  "  scant  o'  room,"  I  must  close  by  tendering  my 
compliments  to  yourselves  and  daughters,  and  the  fami 
lies  of  Messrs.  A.,  B.  and  C.  Please  say  to  the  Misses 
D.  that  I  will  redeem  the  promise  made  them  soon, 
though  they  must  no  longer  expect  to  derive  any  pleas 
ure  from  its  fulfillment. 

With  great  respect,  I  remain 

Your  obliged  and  sorrowing  friend,    ^ 


132  LETTEBS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

"THEY  MAY  DEEM  'TIS  THE  LOVE  OP  ANOTHER." 

Explanatory  Lines,  addressed  to  Mrs.  H.  H.  B. 

They  may  deem  'tis  the  love  of  another 

Wakes  the  tear  that  is  falling  from  me ; 
But  my  heart's  "  one  love,"  O  my  brother! 
Was  given,  in  life's  dawning,  to  thee ! 
Its  dark'ning  shadow  o'er  the  soul 

No  other  love  had  power  to  cast ; 
For  thou  wert  to  existence's  goal 

My  guiding  star  through  all  the  past. 
In  thy  grave  there  have  perished 

The  glad  tones  of  thy  mirth, 
And  the  hopes  I  had  cherished 
From  the  hour  of  thy  birth ! 

Proudly  thy  image  rose  before  me ; 

But  life  is  dim  since  thon  art  gone, 
And  one,  in  thought,  is  bending  o'er  thee, 
Who  mourns  that  morning  vision  flown ! 
Light  smile  and  careless  jest  may  seem 

A  lighter  spirit's  echoing  tone ; 
But,  O  my  soul !  thy  wand 'ring  dream 
Is  not  of  earth — to  thee  'tis  lone ! 
Yes,  "  the  last  link  is  broken  " 
That  could  bind  me  to  earth  ; 
For  the  death  dirge  is  spoken 
O'er  thy  genius  and  worth  I 

December  26, 

" AND  PILATE  SAID,  'WHAT  IS  TRUTH! ' " 

Aye,  what  is  it  ?     Ages  on  ages  roll, 
Yet  bring  no  answer !     Millions  on  millions 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  133 

Echo  back  that  Roman  quest ;  yet  still 
The  spirit-thirst  remains  unslaked ! 

LIGHT  for  the  darkened  mind  ! 
Helpless  immortal,  on  the  shores  of  Time 
I  wander  in  a  labyrinth  of  doubt : 
Coming,  I  know  not  whence — tending, 
I  know  not  whither  I 

"  Blind  leaders  of  the  blind !  »  O  ye 
Do  still  persist  in  "  darkening  counsel," 
With  high-sounding  phrase,  devoid  of  knowledge ! 
And  God's  own  sacred  Word,  full  of  all  high 
And  holy  things,  is  but  a  sealed  book, 
Or  one  vast  mystery,  to  minds  like  mine, 
Bound  in  "iron  gyves"  sectarian  hands 
Have  forged  for  human  intellect ! 

Vain,  vain — but,  O  that  I  had  never  heard 
A  text,  or  sermon,  homily  or  prayer 
Till  now !     Then  Truth,  with  all  her  majesty, 
Might  glide  gently  into  my  troubled  heart, 
Charming  its  wayward  thoughts  to  peace — winning 

For  guerdon,  glad  homage  to  her  Author ! 

****** 

My  very  brain  is  graven  o'er  and  o'er 

With  "creeds"  and  "proofs,"  and  "commentaries !" 

I  see  the  sophistry,  yet  feel  its  thrall — 

Chafe  in  my  bonds,  but  cannot  shake  them  off! 

Unhallowed  hands  have  grafted  ?tuman  thought 

Upon  thy  context,  Inspiration ! 

I  do  detect  the  fraud,  but  not  discern 

The  truth.     Philistines  of  the  moral  world, 

Ye  have  destroyed  my  mental  vision  ! 

Worse,  worse  ! — ye  do  traduce  your  Maker 


134  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

To  his  face!     The  MIGHTY  MOCKEK!  scoffing 
And  taunting  wretches  he  has  made  and  marked 
For  vengeance — making  fair  show  of  pardon 
Not  to  be  won — insulting  with  false  hope 
The  hopeless  !     'Tis  false!     Ye  paint  a  demon, 
Not  a  God;  and  meet  for  such  the  worship 
Ye  award  him. 

The  spirit's  mystic  love 
For  all  of  melody  and  beauty, 
What  is  it  but  unconscious  incense 
That  the  soul  wafts  ever  to  its  Maker, 
Untiring  and  untired?     And  yet,  "'tis  sin!" 

Life's  noblest  gifts  must  be  despised ; 

Proud  monuments  of  Thought,  that  genius  builds 

For  immortality — a  malison 

Is  on — we  may  not  turn  to  scan  you! 

Music,  blest  echo  of  archangel  harps 

Pealing  their  mighty  anthems  through  all  time 

And  space,  thou  too,  ihou  too,  must  be  contemned ! 

Fair  Flowers,  that  are  the  poetry  of  earth, 

E'en  as  the  stars  are  that  of  Heaven, 

"Written  with  God's  own  finger  on  the  page 

Of  vast  creation,  ye  too  are  under  ban — 

We  must  not  dream  to  love  ye ! 

"  Diviners, 

Ye  are  mad! "     Know  ye  full  well 
What  'tis  ye  offer  ?     Scorn  for  His  gifts, 
Scorn  fit  homage  to  Omnipotence  ? 
TTis  impious!     Away,  away!  never, 
No  never!  'ueath  dogmatists  of  sects 
And  schools,  shall  quail  the  lofty  spirit 
God  hath  given!         *        *        *        * 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  135 

*         *        *        Turn  we  to  earth,  Man  writes 
No  corollaries  there !     The  happy  sun, 
And  gentle  dews,  the  loving  light  of  night's 
Most  holy  eyes,  efface  the  sullying 
Impress ! 

Father  of  life, 

And  light!  one  beam  from  thy  effulgence  shed, 
To  guide  the  deep,  impassioned  worshiper, 
Of  "all  that  makes  life,  poetry,  and  beauty," 
From  Nature's  peerless  shrine,  up  to  the  Throne 
Of  Nature's  mighty  God! 

Sunday  Evening,  Augtist,  1837 

Bright  worlds  of  Nature,  and  of  Thought, 
It  is  no  sin  to  love  you !     And  blessed, 
Ever  blessed  be  His  name,  who  through 
The  beautiful,  has  led  me  to  the  true ! 
The  light  of  youth,  of  health,  of  hope,  declines; 
The  Star  of  Bethlehem  never  wanes ! 

Sept.,  1843. 


LETTER   XIV. 

NONSENSE-TENNESSEE  AND  SLAVERY. 

B e,  Tenn.,  Sept.  10th,  1837. 

MY  DEAR  C. : 

YOUR  very  welcome  epistle  was  yesterday  received  by 

the  way  of  B e,  N.  Y.,  and  I  do  hereby  recommend 

my  example,  in  the  direction  of  letters,  for  your  imita 
tion,  until  such  time,  at  least,  as  the  Post-Office  Depart 
ment  shall  have  made  it  necessary  for  its  officials  to 


136  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

understand  the  contractions  in  general  use  for  designating 
the  several  States  of  the  Union.  It  is  nothing  uncommon 

for  me  to  receive  letters  "forwarded  "  from  B e,  Pa., 

to  B e,  N.  J.,  and  from  thence  to  B e,  Tennes 
see  ;  and  I  have  just  learned  that  one  of  mine  made  a 
ten  months'  tour  before  arriving  at  its  destination.  Sorry 
to  say  I  cannot  inform  you  whether  it  had  made  proper 
improvement  by  its  travels;  sorry,  also,  that  your  re 
taliatory  measure  failed,  (partially  at  least,)  of  the  in 
tended  effect,  cause  and  consequence  being  alike  buried 
in  oblivion  until  you  saw  fit  to  turn  resurrectionist. 

As  the  "adventure"  might  have  amused  you,  I  re 
gret  not  having  related  it  all  in  due  time ;  but  now  can 
only  say  it  was  something  about  a  handsome  Dutchman, 
who  thought  it  very  miraculous  that  the  tout  ensemble 
of  winter-stage  traveling  did  not  demonstrate  me  to  be 
either  an  idiot  or  a  shrew.  "Whereupon  the  compliment 
he  paid  was  elegant  enough  to  have  emanated  from  the 
pen  of  Washington  Irving  himself;  but  alas,  and  again 
alas !  it  is  forgotten,  or  it  should  be  written  down  for 
the  benefit  of  the  "rising  generation."  Moreover,  the 
said  individual  happening  to  hear  me  say  of  whiskers,  (in 
reply  to  a  lady  who  called  upon  me  to  condemn  them 
en  masse,  out  of  special  compliment  to  the  carrotty  ones 
of  her  husband,)  that  "  in  general  I  thought  them  rather 
a  bearish  appendage,"  did,  in  addition  to  sundry  minor 
items,  such  as  "hand,  heart  and  fortune,"  actually  lay 
the  finest  pair  man  ever  wore  at  my  feet ! 

While  the  nineteenth  century  can  boast  one  instance 
of  chivalric  deVotion  like  this,  it  is  base  slander  to  say 
"the  Age  of  Romance  is  over;"  aye,  or  the  Age  of 
Folly  either,  when  "  a  penniless  lass  wi'  a  long  pedi 
gree,"  shall  reject  a  gentleman  of  respectable  talents, 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  137 

good  general  information,  and  splendid  fortune,  simply 
because  he  happens  to  want  a  classical  education. 
Thank  your  stars,  child,  you  were  not  in  Tennessee,  or 
your  mittimus  for  a  lunatic  asylum  would  have  been 
made  out  long  since !  However,  if  Oarlton  be  the  suc 
cessor,  /  shall  only  say,  he  is  one  of  my  prime  favorites, 
whom  I  should  be  sorry  to  see  walking  in  the  footsteps 
of  Ms  predecessor.  My  compliments  to  him  always,  but 
tell  him  I  am  astonished  at  the  want  of  humanity  evinced 
in  his  tantalizing  questions!  "Fair  and  fat,"  is,  to  the 
best  of  my  knoweldge  and  belief,  the  "beau  ideal"  of 
Tennessee  beauty;  so  I,  being  only  "fair,"  stand  no  bet 
ter  chance  here  than  elsewhere.  And  ought  he  not  to 
know,  the  testifying  to  a  disagreeable  fact,  is  "gall  and 
wormwood"  to  an  unwilling  witness  ?  And  will  it  not 
suffice  that  one  of  the  Fates  spins  my  thread  of  the 
"black  worsted,"  and  the  other  forgets  to  clip  it;  but  he 
must  needs  have  assurance  of  the  same  under  my  hand 
and  seal  \  Oh  the  times !  Oh  the  manners ! 

To  prevent  the  repetition  of  such  scandalous  impertin 
ence,  thus  much  will  I  condescend :  Should  I  ever  fall 
away  from  the  ancient  and  honorable,  though  unhonored, 
order  of  spinsters,  I  will  proclaim  my  defection  imme 
diately.  Till  then  he  must  be  content  to  know,  that  if  it 
is  my  misfortune  to  be  single,  not  my  fault,  that  circum 
stance  should  excite  compassion,  not  censure ;  if  the 
latter,  I  bide  the  result,  there  let  it  rest.  A  word  to  you 
en  passant,  my  dearie.  Is  not  the  curiosity  manifest 
in  your  formidable  list  of  interrogatories,  rather  suspi 
cious  evidence,  that  with  you  a  certain  coming  event  is 
casting  its  "  shadow  before,"  present  appearances  to  the 
contrary  notwithstanding?  Beware!  "Gather  May 
garlands  while  'tis  May;"  but  do  not  "find  other  hearts 


138  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES 

to  fling  away,"  if  you  value  the  peace  of  your  own. 
You  see  I  lay  my  injunctions  ex  cathedra  upon  you,  in 
return  for  the  unwelcome  task  imposed  upon  me ;  but 
though  reluctant,  (as  usual,)  to  do  as  I  am  bidden,  sup 
pose  I  may  as  well  execute  your  commission  at  once ; 
and  should  you  chance  to  get  rather  more  than  you  bar 
gained  for,  you  will  be  less  likely  to  send  another  order, 
I  think. 

This  same  obnoxious  /  occurs  too  often ;  but  what  is 
to  be  done,  being  in  the  singular,  one  cannot  assume  the 
imperial  WE?  My  blessing  on  digression,  how  it  helps 
one  along,  not  with  the  story  though ;  so  pour  com- 
mencer : 

East  Tennessee  is  said  to  be  the  roughest,  most  bro 
ken,  and  least  civilized  portion  of  the  State ;  but  like  the 
Middle,  contains,  I  am  told,  much  romantic  and  beauti 
ful  scenery.  The  latter  includes  the  Capital  and  most 
prominent  literary  institutions.  The  District,  (between 
the  Tennessee  and  Mississippi,)  is  about  as  picturesque  as 
certain  portions  of  Erie  county  were  at  the  precise  date 
of  "that  rather  pleasant  trip  of  ours"  to  the  Falls.  So 
close  indeed  is  the  analogy,  that  some  of  the  hotels  are 
perfect  fac  similes  of  the  identical  Dutch  tavern  you  wot 
of,  in  the  village  without  a  name.  But  the  resemblance 
ends  here.  This  vast  alluvion  is  rapidly  emerging  from 
its  wilderness  state,  and  bearing  ample  testimony  to  the 
enterprise,  intelligence,  and  clear-sighted,  liberal-minded 
policy  of  those  who  have  sought  for  themselves,  and 
their  children's  children,  a  home  and  a  name  in  the 
bosom  of  a  mighty  forest. 

It  is  generally  the  hardy  and  industrious  poor,  whose 
only  resources  are  stout  hearts  and  strong  hands,  that  are 
seen  leading,  with  praiseworthy  zeal,  the  vanguard  of 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  139 

civilization.     Not  so  here !     The  unusual   number  of 
opulent  individuals   who   have  brought  their  capital, 
their  talents  and  influence  to  a  new  and  wide  field  of 
exercise,  forms  a  remarkable  feature  in  the  history  of 
Tennessee.     The  children  of  the  earlier  settler  must 
necessarily  have  wanted  many  advantages  which  they 
are  struggling  most  nobly  to  secure  to  their  own  off 
spring  ;  and  for  this  reason,  I  opine,  would  find  small 
favor  in  your  fastidious  eyes,  and  you  as  little  in  theirs, 
I  ween;  for,  though  "love  in  a  cottage"  may  do  very 
well,  yet  "  Love,"  without  a  plantation  and  plenty  of 
negroes  to  tend  it,  would  be  sorely  puzzled  to  find  a 
resting-place  for  the  sole  of  his  foot  in  this  valley  of  the 
Mississippi.     "Disinterested  affection"  is  not  the  guide 
sane  people  here  charter  for  Hymen's  portals !     This  is 
spoken  as  matter  of  history,  not  reproach;  for,  though 
in  the  estimate  of  woman,  ("whose  highest  ambition  is 
to  be  loved  even  as  she  loves,  with  uncalculating  sim 
plicity  and  unsuspecting  trust,")  such  a  state  of  things 
may  seem  mercenary,  sordid,  and  heartless,  in  the  ex 
treme  ;  still  it  has  its  redeeming  features — its  bright  as 
well  as  dark  side.     Where  it  prevails  there  arq  fewer 
wives  and  daughters  precipitated,  by  the  loss  of  hus 
bands  and  fathers,  from  their  stations  in  life  and  the 
enjoyment  of  all  the  luxuries  which  man's  pride,  if  not 
his   affection,  ever  strives   to  concentrate   around   his 
hearth,  into  the  depths  and  degradation  of  poverty,  to 
cope  as  best  they  may  with  all  its  attendant  hardships 
and  humiliations — far  fewer  than  where  people  are  ad 
dicted  to  the  folly  of  falling  in  love,  "  they  know  not 
why  and  care  not  wherefore." 

Many  of  the  inhabitants  are,  for  the  present,  domes 
ticated   in  log-cabins,   and    the  gentlemen   frequently 


140  LETTEES   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

attired  in  "  homespun ;"  but  you  are  to  recollect — that 
is,  if  you  desire  to  form  a  correct  opinion — that  they  are 
no  more  to  be  compared  with  those  you  see  in  a  like 
predicament,  than  were  the  courtly  barons  of  olden 
time,  who  wrote  their  names  with  a  "cross  of  the 
dagger,"  to  the  serfs,  their  vassals,  who  resembled 
them  only  in  this  unfortunate  particular.  Captious 
people  will  complain — of  course,  it  is  their  vocation, 
and  the  want  of  elegant  society  is  a  prolific  theine ;  but 
nowhere  have  I  found  a  race  more  distinguished  for 
manly  bearing  and  "gentle  courtesie"  than  the  "bold 
hunters  of  the  West."  They  want,  it  is  true,  the  high 
polish  of  their  Atlantic  brethren ;  but  then  they  excel 
them  in  that  liberality  of  sentiment  which  is  a  sure 
guarantee  that,  at  no  distant  day,  they  will  rank  second 
to  none.  And,  with  the  single  exception  of  a  lurking 
suspicion  that  everybody  North  of  the  Ohio  and  Poto 
mac  is  at  least  twenty  years  old  at  the  moment  of  birth, 
and  an  Abolitionist  into  the  bargain,  the  people  of  Ten 
nessee,  as  a  community,  are  less  the  slaves  of  sectional 
jealousy  and  illiberal  prejudice  than  any  other  states 
men  of  my  acquaintance.  When  dressed  for  scenes  of 
amusement  or  display,  as  churches,  balls,  camp-meet 
ings,  etc.,  they  would  be  apt  to  incur  the  epithet, 
"Parvenu,"  from  the  staid,  Quaker-like,  Dutch  and 
Yankee  aristocracy ;  but  it  is  mere  difference  of  custom : 
the  wealth  that  the  one  class  buries  in  magnificent 
saloons,  the  other  invests  in  the  more  portable  form  of 
jewels  and  "  gorgeous  apparel." 

The  ladies  are  not  as  intelligent,  in  general,  as  those 
found  in  corresponding  walks  of  life  in  the  Northern 
and  middle  states,  for  the  obvious  reason  that  they  are 
sent  to  school  late  and  removed  early,  and  have  a  per- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  141 

feet  conviction,  while  there,  that  the  chances  of  forming 
an  eligible  match  (the  great  object  in  life,)  can  in  no 
wise  be  aifected  by  the  improvement  made  of  their 
time.  Still  they  have  acumen  enough  to  discover  that, 
let  men  talk  as  much  as  they  will  of  the  "  charms  of 
intelligence,  dignity  of  manner,  modesty,  propriety, 
etc.,"  the  precise  modicum  of  sense  which  pleases 
them  best  whenever  they  come  to  act,  is  that  which 
barely  enables  the  possessor  to  discern,  that,  weak  and 
ignorant  though  he  may  be  in  the  abstract,  her  lord  and 
master  is  talented  and  wise  in  comparison  with  herself. 
It  is  high  treason  to  the  majesty  of  man,  I  know,  to 
accuse  him  of  a  feeling  he  is  ashamed  of,  and  will  some 
times  disavow  in  good  set  terms  ;  but  let  him  declaim, 
if  so  he  please :  it  is  all  moonshine  when  he  has  done. 
The  lords  of  creation  do,  in  their  secret  souls,  believe 
"  a  woman  is  not  a  reasoning  animal,"  only  an  amusing 
pet  or  useful  article  of  household  furniture;  and  the 
ladies  of  Tennessee  have  the  sagacity  to  accommodate 
themselves  to  the  real  sentiments  of  those  whom  they 
wish  to  please,  and  affect  childish  habits  and  expres 
sions  to  secure  their  object.  One  of  the  former  most  in 
vogue  is  the  keeping  a  running  accompaniment  to  every 
thing  said,  on  their  watch-chains,  finger-rings,  and  other 
personal  ornaments.  I  set  this  down  to  affectation,  be 
cause  it  is  not  practiced  in  circles  exclusively  feminine ; 
and  those  most  addicted  to  it  have  been  accustomed  to 
the  society  of  gentlemen  from  the  cradle,  so  it  surely 
cannot  arise  from  diffidence.  But  let  individuals  once 
come  to  the  conclusion  that  they  can  dispense  with  these 
fooleries,  or  that  it  is  no  concern  of  theirs  what  pleases 
or  displeases  the  lordly  sex,  and  they  will  soon  vindicate 
their  claims  to  the  noblest  of  Nature's  endowments. 
12 


142  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

Early  marriages  are  the  only  ones  popular;  and  a 
lady  fairly  convicted,  upon  her  own  confession,  of  re 
maining  single  up  to  the  time  when  most  females  in 
higher  latitudes  leave  school,  would  stand  in  imminent 
danger  of  being  condemned  to  the  lonely  walks  of 
"  single  blessedness,"  or  sentenced  to  the  menagerie 
of  some  old  widower  for  life.  How  far  these  early 
marriages,  by  imposing  on  children  the  exposure  and 
toil  incidental  to  overseers  and  tailors,  may  contrib 
ute  to  the  short  date  of  human  life,  for  which  the  cli 
mate  stands  impeached,  I  shall  leave  physiologists  to 
determine.  Once  wives,  however,  the  ladies  of  the  dis 
trict  find  little  attention  paid  to  Byron's  suggestion } 
"  that  married  ladies  have  the  preference  in  tete-a-tete 
or  general  conversation ;"  they  are  not  even  allowed  the 
pre-eminence  in  "dipping,"  that  is,  eating  snuff  from  the 
end  of  a  stick  for  half  an  hour  at  a  time,  under  pretense 
of  cleaning  the  teeth.  If  you  are  still  rather  benighted 
as  to  the  modus  operandi,  just  imagine  a  bevy  of  ladies 
recently  from  table,  or  seated,  perhaps,  in  a  carriage,  round 
a  bottle  of  the  darling  "Scotch,"  plying  their  tongues 
and  brushes  with  equal  assiduity,  and  rivaling  the  most 
veteran  " ohewer"  in  the  dispensation  of  saliva;  you 
will  then  be  pretty  well  au  fait  to  this  interesting  pro 
cess.  Imitation  is  the  height  of  flattery,  you  know,  and 
the  noun  masculine  isn't  often  squeamish  enough  to 
reject  it,  (in  broken  doses) ;  but  now,  instead  of  being 
duly  propitiated  and  properly  grateful,  the  gentlemen 
are  perverse  enough  to  make  swp0raaturally  ugly  faces, 
and  insist  that  "  it's  very  disgusting"  It's  all  sheer 
spite,  I  haven't  a  doubt,  and  comes  from  "brooking  no 
'  rival  near  the  throne '  "  (of  the  tobacco-worm  I  mean)  ; 
but  so  it  is,  and  I  need  not  add  that  they — to  my 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  14:3 

immortal  envy  of  the  toga  virilis — are  almost  uniformly 
spared  the  exhibition.  Still  the  practice  is  veiy  general, 
I  believe  a  majority  of  the  young  ladies  "  tote  a  box." 

It  is  not  my  intention  to  claim  for  the  other  half  of 
community,  exemption  from  the  common  frailties  of  hu 
manity  ;  and  it  has  sometimes  occurred  to  me,  that  the 
Tennessee  "  code  of  honor"  was  graduated  a  little  too 
much  on  the  scale  of  interest.  Or  in  other  words,  that 
there  was  a  want  of  that  stern  adherence  to  Truth,  which 
should  characterize  the  man  and  the  gentleman — of  that 
high-toned  moral  feeling  which  makes  him  regard  his 
word  as  his  bond,  and  feel  bound  by  it  as  a  prisoner 
to  his  captor,  "  rescue  or  no  rescue."  It  may  be,  that  the 
fact  of  having  suffered  personal  inconvenience  and  pe 
cuniary  loss  from  the  exercise  of  this  "  Punic  Faith," 
has  enlightened  me  a  little  prematurely  on  the  subject ; 
but  I  think  I  have  set  down  "  naught  in  malice" — sorry 
indeed  should  I  be  to  cast  the  shadow  of  a  shade,  on  the 
good  faith  of  a  whole  community,  because  a  few  individ 
uals  in  it  had  betrayed  my  confidence. 

From  my  earliest  infancy  have  I  been  taught  that, 
surrounded  by  crowds,  I  was  to  be  emphatically  alone , 
"  among  them  not  of  them,"  an  alien  from  human  sym 
pathy,  an  exotic  in  the  garden  of  creation !  It  was  a 
lone  and  desolate  doom — not  spoken  in  kindness — but 
it  has  wrought  its  own  fulfillment ;  and  given  me,  at  the 
same  time,  the  unenviable  faculty  of  looking  on  my  kind 
as  one  might  be  supposed  to  do  on  beings  of  another 
species — liable  indeed  to  err  from  ignorance  of  his  sub 
ject  ;  but  not  likely  to  examine  it  through  the  distorted 
optics  of  passion,  or  prejudice.  I  have  set  up  a  claim 
to  infallibility,  you  see,  it  was  necessary  before  entering 
on  a  topic  discussed  only  by  soi  disant  oracles. 


144  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

Pour  Monsieur,  votre  pere,  Je  me  n1  etonne  pas  du 
marl  de  sa  femme,  <£il  aurait  de  la  grande  sympathie 
car  VEsclave;  mais  vous,  ma  belle  cousine,  "are  ye 
gane  clean  demented,"  that  ye  must  needs  be  "speering 
after"  my  sentiments  on  abolition  ?  One  might  divine 
what  they  were  from  my  uniform  silence  I  should  sup 
pose;  but  as  you  make  it  "convenient  to  be  owre 
stupid"  of  late,  presume  you  intend  having  them  stated 
explicitly  for  your  edification.  Much  good  may  it  do 
you;  but  "no  tricks  upon  travelers  if  you  please" — 
catch  me  "  arranging  my  ideas"  when  you  know  very 
well  I  always  did  confess  to  the  true  feminine  aversion 
for  everything  in  the  shape  of  argument.  No,  indeed, 
if  I  have  to  furnish  "  stock  in  trade,"  you  may  assort  it 
to  suit  yourself. 

But  my  honest  opinion  is,  that  mankind  do  love  to  be 
imposed  upon;  and  that  there  are,  and  always  have 
been,  some  dear  lovers  of  "  the  people,"  who  for  Public 
good  (and  private  feud),  are  ever  able  and  willing  to 
gratify  this  amiable  propensity.  "Witness :  Salem  Witch 
craft,  Billy  Morganism,  and  sundry  other  popular  amuse 
ments  of  the  kind.  For  my  own  part,  I  must  confess  to 
a  most  patrician  scorn  for  Mobism  and  Humbuggery 
in  all  their  ramifications.  A  mob  I  understand  to  mean, 
a  mass  of  factious  individuals,  whether  assembled  or  not 
the  elements  are  the  same;  and  it  is  just  as  true  now  as 
ever  it  was,  that  "  the  greater  part  know  not  wherefore 
they  come  together."  Once  in  my  life,  I  recollect  being 
infected  myself  with  one  of  these  periodical  fever-fits  of 
humanity,  denominated  the  Greek  Cause ;  and  how  did 
it  terminate  ?  Why  the  alms,  the  prayers,  and  the  sym 
pathies  of  a  whole  people  were  enlisted  in  behalf  of  the 
"  Cradle  of  Intellect,"  to  be  most  basely  betrayed. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  145 

How,  you  will  not,  of  course,  expect  me  to  recollect  any 
better  than  A.  A.,  of  juvenile  pretensions,  did,  events 
of  the  last  war,  to  wit:  "very  indistinctly"  But  the 
consequence  was,  with  me  it  wrought  a  perfect  cure : 
the  world  has  overdrawn  its  credit,  now  I  must  have 
instalments  instead  of  drafts  —  proofs  in  place  of  asser 
tion.  And  when  I  hear  people  speak  "  great  swelling 
words,"  about  "  emancipating  the  slave,"  or  ameliorat 
ing  his  condition,"  I  desire  to  know  first,  if  that  condi 
tion  be  susceptible  of  essential  improvement ;  Second, 
if  it  really  be  their  intention  to  effect  it ;  and  finally,  if 
the  avowed  object  be  attainable  by  their  interference. 

Slavery  is  undoubtedly  an  evil.  It  was  pronounced 
as  a  curse,  a  perpetual  curse,  upon  a  certain  portion  of 
the  human  family  ;  but  should  not  Christians  pause,  be 
fore  they  attempt  to  overturn  a  system  as  distinctly  re 
cognized  in  the  volume  of  Inspiration,  as  the  connection 
between  ruler  and  people,  parent  and  child  ?  Had  that 
system  been  really  displeasing  in  the  eyes  of  "Him  who 
seeth  not  as  man  seeth,"  why  was  not  the  "  Father  of 
the  Faithful"  admonished  of  his  turpitude  in  this  partic 
ular  ;  and  why  did  not  the  Apostle  Paul,  who  was  famil 
iar  with  the  rigors  of  Roman  bondage,  say  to  the  mas 
ter — "  PIRATICAL  RASCAL,  emancipate  your  slave" —  to 
the  latter,  "  cut  your  master's  throat  if  he  refuses  to  do 
so ,"  instead  of  preaching  kindness  and  forbearance  to  the 
one,  diligence  and  submission  to  the  other  ?  It  does  ap 
pear  to  me,  that  a  candid  man  who  reads  his  Bible  to 
form  an  opinion,  not  to  strengthen  a  preconceived  one ; 
will  be  constrained  to  admit  that  Abolition  principles 
must  be  traced  to  some  other  source ; —  perhaps  to  the 
specious  sophism- that  "all  men  are  born  free  and  equal!" 
Caviling  at  the  first  item  in  the  Declaration  of  Inde- 


146  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

pendence,  is,  I  know,  audacity  without  precedent,  or 
parallel ;  nevertheless  I  shall  say  it  may  be  a  very  good 
philosophical  truth  ;  but  I  am  sure  it  is  a  moral  and  po 
litical  falsehood!  "All  men  born  FREE  and  EQUAL!" 
Are  they  indeed  ?  Then  why  talk  of  slavery,  or  why 
invest  one  infant  with  all  the  appliances  of  wealth,  while 
another  is  cast  forth  in  the  very  moment  of  birth  to  nak 
edness  and  starvation. 

I  have  allowed  slavery  to  be  an  evil — perhaps  one  of 
the  greatest  incidental  to  humanity  ;  still  I  am  not  pre 
pared  to  admit,  that  it  is  at  all  comparable  to  the  unmit 
igated  curse  of  poverty,  which  consigns  to  unremitting 
servitude  hundreds  and  thousands  of  the  nominal  iree  ! 
I  know  from  actual  observation,  that  one  "  factotum," 
or  servant  of  all  work  at  the  North,  will  perform  more 
drudgery  than  is  commonly  exacted  of  three  slaves  at  the 
South.  Yet  no  sympathy  is  sought  to  be  excited  for 
these  "  oppressed  sons  and  daughters"'  of  Europe  and 
America  !  As  Byron  once  said  of  the  poor  Irish,  '•''How 
unfortunate  for  them  that  they  did  not  happen  to  be 
bom  black" — then,  they  might  hope  to  come  within  the 
pale  of  a  philanthropist's  species,  I  suppose.  The  slaves 
of  the  South  are  far  better  off  than  the  white  servants 
of  the  free  States,  so  far  as  I  can  judge,  and  my  oppor 
tunities  for  observation  have,  as  you  know,  been  consid 
erable.  They  are  "  cared  for "  in  sickness  and  in 
health,  well  fed  and  clothed,  and  not  worked  hard.  In 
deed  I  have  known  many  "  daughters  of  palaces,"  of 
which  they  were  the  ornament  and  pride,  actually  per 
form  as  much  manual  labor  as  most  house  servants  here 
are  expected  to  execute.  That  field-negroes  are  not 
heavier  tasked  in  proportion  to  their  strength,  may 
fairly  be  inferred  from  the  fact,  that  they  can,  and  often 


LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES.  147 

do,  complete  their  tasks  several  hours  earlier  than  usual, 
and  then  dance  half  the  night  after.  Not  long  since  I 
heard  a  gentleman  exclaim,  in  reference  to  a  certain 
lady,  "  LOOK  HEKE, — does  not  she  profess  to  be  a  Chris 
tian"  in  tones  that  carried  instant  conviction  how  in 
compatible  Tie  thought  her  practice  and  profession. 

You  will  smile  when  I  say  the  exceptionable  practice 
was,  the  keeping  her  servants  employed  (late  in  Au 
tumn)  two  hours  "  after  night,"  that  is  "  candle  light," 
in  the  manufacture  of  their  own  clothes.  Her  being  at 
the  time  on  a  Red  River  Plantation  where  she  could  not 
buy,  did  not  excuse  her.  I  wonder  how  often  a  North 
ern  master,  or  mistress  would  feel  any  compunction  for 
such  a  sin  ?  With  the  name  of  "  slave,"  negroes  enjoy 
more  real  liberty  than  most  servants  styled  "  Free." 
They  are  exempt  from  care  for  the  future — they  know 
that  let  the  world  shift  round  them  as  it  will,  their  bread 
is  sure  !  They  are  also  free  from  that  canker  of  the 
soul,  the  envy  and  hopeless  repining  of  a  white,  cajoled 
by  the  cant  of  republicanism  into  a  belief  of  his  equal 
ity  with  those  necessity  compels  him  to  serve;  and  found 
in  that  anomalous  state  where  the  hireling  is  suspended 
half  way  between  his  employer's  station  and  his  own  ; 
and  only  made  to  feel  what  that  is,  at  the  moment  when 
the  knowledge  is  most  galling  to  his  pride,  and  most 
mortifying  to  his  feelings.* 


*This  may  be  unintelligible  to  persons  not  aware  that  in  many  parts 
of  the  Free  States, it  is  quite  common  for  the  native  "Helps,"  (who 
would  be  mortally  insulted  if  styled  servants),  to  stipulate,  that  they 
"  shall  be  as  good  as  the  rest  of  the  family  ;"  that  is,  admitted  to  their 
society,  a  place  at  their  table,  a  seat  in  their  pews  at  church,  etc.,  etc. 
Necessity  frequently  extorts  a  seeming  assent,  and  in  extreme  cases, 
lady-visitors  and  domestics  are  sometimes  introduced  ;  but  that  "  cere- 


148  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

That  African  slaves  are  incalculably  better  oft*  here 
in  bondage,  than  their  progenitors  were  in  the  savage 
freedom  of  their  foreign  home,  no  one  can  deny  who 
has  heard  from  the  lips  of  a  native,  a  description  of  the 
horrible  cannibalism  and  brutal  ferocity  of  these  "sim 
ple  children  of  nature ! "  I  have  often  seen  an  aged  wo 
man  in  L ,  who  says  she  never  knew  what  it  was  to 

feel  "secure  of  her  life  for  an  hour  till  she  came  to 
America — her  father,  or  brothers  might  have  dispatched 
her  at  any  time."  And  I  am  at  this  moment  in  the 
house  of  a  lady,  whose  mother  rescued  an  infant  of  her 
own  from  being  roasted  alive,  to  pamper  the  morbid 
appetites  of  a  fresh  gang  of  Guinea  men.  An  unusual 
chattering  in  one  of  the  negro  cabins  arrested  her  atten 
tion,  and  stepping  to  the  door  she  saw  the  embers  al 
ready  prepared  to  receive  the  unconscious  child,  now 
firmly  grasped  in  the  arms  of  one,  who,  more  intelligent 
than  the  rest,  had  observed  the  value  "white  people" 
set  upon  their  children,  and  resisted  all  their  threats  and 
promises,  exclaiming  "  M istress  Pi  can  inny!  MISTRESS 
PICANINNT  ! "  He  afterward  said  that  in  his  country  it 
was  nothing  uncommon  for  a  father  to  take  his  child 
from  the  mother's  arms,  bury  it  in  the  warm  ashes  and 
set  his  foot  or  war  club  on^it  till  its  struggles  were  over. 
And  the  gang,  I  am  told,  were  more  astonished  at  the 
unreasonable  and  unheard  of  opposition  they  had  met, 
than  enraged  at  their  disappointment.  What,  not  al 
low  them  a  Picaninny  to  roast  when  tired  of  other  food  ? 
Absurd !  what  else  were  they  good  for  ?  There  is  Arca 
dian  life  for  you. 

many"  is  very  apt  to  be  "  forgotten" — omitted — and,  as  might  be  ex 
pected,  the  obnoxious  conditions  are  almost  uniformly  evaded  in  pres 
ence  of  company. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  149 

But  you  will  ask,  why  slaves  ever  plot  against  or 
abandon  their  masters,  if,  on  the  whole  they  are  com 
fortable  or  contented?  I  answer,  because  they,  like 
other  people,  do  not  always  feel  content  to  "let  '•well 
enough '  alone  " — for  the  same  reason  that  mankind  are 
alway  sighing  after  an  unattained  and  unattainable  some 
thing  beyond  their  reach.  It  is  because  "the  uneradica- 
ble  taint  of  sin  "  has  spread  its  foul  contamination,  wide 
and  deep,  over  a  whole  moral  universe.  "Aye,  but  has 
not  the  whip  some  agency  in  the  matter,"  you  exclaim. 
"We  do  not  inflict  corporal  punishment  on  our  free  ser 
vants" — I  beg  your  pardon,  "helps" — grown  ones,  you 
mean — and  true  you  do  not,  because  you  have  it  in  your 
power  to  turn  them  from  your  doors  when  idle  or  refrac 
tory,  to  send  them  to  the  police  if  dishonest ;  the  case  is  no 
longer  parallel,  take  something  else  which  is  correlative, 
as  for  instance,  the  minority  of  children,  apprentice  in 
dentures,  state's  prison  regulations,  naval  and  military 
discipline ;  and  what  do  their  annals  proclaim  ?  Why, 
that  when  one  human  being  comes  in  possession  of  an 
other,  "to  have  and  to  hold,"  "for  better  for  worse" — 
peaceable  if  possible,  forcible  if  necessary,  is  the  motto 
upon  which  mankind,  in  all  countries  and  all  ages,  have 
universally  been  constrained  to  act.  If  there  is  a  bet 
ter,  I  should  like  to  see  it  exemplified. 

But  why  do  I  reply  ?  Let  the  tale  of  the  English 
sailor  on  Lake  Erie  answer.  From  such  ruthless  bar 
barity  the  strong  arm  of  law  protects  the  American 
slave,  though  the  free-born  Briton  perish  in  its  fangs ; 
and  the  much  stronger  one  of  public  opinion  brands 
with  indelible  infamy  the  master  who  is  cruel  to  his 
slave.  The  mark  of  Cain  is  upon  him;  let  him  go 

where  he  will,  his  reputation  haunts  him  like  a  shadow ; 
13 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

he  is  set  down  for  a  dangerous  neighbor,  an  unkind  hus 
band,  an  unnatural  father,  a  monster  in  the  shape  of  a 
man.  This  correct  moral  feeling  must  inevitably  exert 
a  powerful  sway  over  the  passions  of  a  people,  nervously, 
I  had  almost  said  ridiculously,  sensitive  on  the  score  of 
reputation.  And  that  I  have  read  the  feeling  of  the 
South  on  this  point  correctly,  witness  the  sudden  and 
stern  retribution  that  fell  on  the  mistress  of  the  "female 
slave  in  New  Orleans,"  whose  case  the  Misses  Grimke 
so  triumphantly  quote,  to  prove  that  such  scenes  are 
frequently  enacted  in  families,  though  the  guest  knows 
it  not.  A  lady  may  conceal  her  domestic  mismanage 
ment  from  a  morning  visitor,  but  will  not  an  intimate 
acquaintance  detect  it  in  the  course  of  a  week,  think 
you  ?  Visits  at  the  South  are  not  limited  to  hours,  and 
your  Southron  is  not  the  man  to  go  about  with  a  smiling 
brow,  "nursing  his  wrath  to  keep  it  warm,"  much  less 
to  perpetrate  an  act  of  cold-blooded  ferocity. 

Having  alluded  to  the  Misses  Grimke,  who  I  suppose 
are  still  "exhibiting"  at  the  North,  I  will  add,  that 
they  are  the  daughters  of  Judge,  and  sisters  of  the  late 
Hon.  Thos.  S.  Grimke,  of  Charleston,  S.  C.,  of  course 
from  the  first  circles  of  society,  and  I  am  told,  "  very  in 
telligent"  But  while  I  respect  their  "  undoubted  good 
intentions,"  I  cannot  but  surmise,  that  the  fact  of  their 
being  still  "the  Misses  Grimke"  (though  old  enough, 
it  seems,  to  manage  their  own  affairs  their  own  way,) 
has  something  with  their  faith  and  practice.  Energetic 
minds,  my  dear  C. — and  some  such  there  are  even  in 
woman's  fragile  form — must  have  scope  for  action,  and 
if  it  be  not  found  in  the  hallowed  home  of  affection,  it 
will  be  sought  elsewhere,  it  may  chance  to  be  in  the 
surveillance  of  their  neighbor's  aflairs,  politics,  speech- 


TETTEBS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  151 

making,  "pill-taking,  or  the  like  innocent  amusements." 
Perhaps  they  may  learn  in  their  travels,  that  people 
must  take  the  world  as  they  find  it,  not  as  they  fancy 
they  would  like  to  make  it,  and  that  while  wealth  con 
fers  power,  poverty  must  yield  submission.  But  the 
respect  so  freely  accorded  to  their  integrity  of  purpose 
I  cannot  extend  to  their  coadjutors.  Some  may  have 
commenced  impostors  and  ended  dupes ;  a  very  few  who 
are  neither  fanatics  nor  fools  may  still  rank  among  them ; 
but  the  majority,  I  fear,  act  upon  the  Demetrius  princi 
ple — "  Sirs,  know  ye  not  that  by  this  craft  we  have  our 
wealth  ?"  If  "proofs"  to  the  contrary  are  extant,  what 
and  where  are  they  ?  As  yet  I  see  nothing  more  than  the 
petty  punctuality  of  an  adroit  swindler,  bent  on  defraud 
ing  you  to  a  large  amount.  Of  course  you  will  under 
stand  it  is  of  the  leaders  I  speak ;  but  who  are  they,  pray  ? 
It  seems  not  even  infamy  can  drag  them  from  obscurity. 
Before  entering  upon  the  last  "count  in  the  indict 
ment,"  it  is  necessary  to  advert,  (slightly  as  possible,) 
to  another  grave  charge  very  seriously  brought  against 
slavery  by  advocates  of  emancipation,  namely,  that  "it 
encourges  licentiousness."  This  is  a  bad  subject  for  a 
lady's  pen,  and  were  it  not  that  omission  might  be  con 
strued  admission,  most  gladly  would  I  pass  it  over  alto 
gether.  But  having  observed  for  several  years,  that 
nearly  all  "runaways"  were  described  as  "yellow,"  or 
"bright" — that  is,  with  a  cross  of  the  white  blood  more 
or  less  remote — I  suppose  there  must  be  some  grounds 
for  the  allegation.  Still  if  certain  infamous  statistics — 
I  mean  exactly  what  I  say,  infamous  statistics,  not 
merely  statistics  of  infamy — published  a  few  years  since 
in  some  of  the  northern  cities,  contained  one  truth  to 
ten  falsehoods,  the  reproach  does  not  come  with  a  good 


152  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

grace  from  that  quarter — they  are  not  entitled  to  "cast 
the  first  stone."  And  I  put  it  to  any  man  of  common 
sense  and  common  honesty,  to  say,  if  in  his  opinion,  the 
evil  would  be  like  to  be  obviated,  by  bringing  superiors 
and  inferiors  of  the  same  race  and  color  into  the  fre 
quent  and  familiar  contact  and  association  which  must 
inevitably  ensue  wherever  negro  slavery  is  abolished? 
If  so,  where  is  that  High  Priest  of  "Moral  Reform," 
Rev.  Mr.  M'Dowal,  the  arch  panderer,  with  all  his  vir 
tuous  furor?  "Othello's  occupation's  gone,"  though, 
now  I  come  to  think  of  it,  I  believe  he  and  his  journal 
were  both  suppressed  long  ago  as  a  public  nuisance.  If 
they  were  not  they  ought  to  have  been,  for  never  was  a 
more  pestilent  device  for  running  all  decency  out  of  ex 
istence  in  an  ill-judged  crusade  against  vice.  However, 
peace  to  his  ashes,  if  he  has  made  his  apotheosis ;  though, 
I  fear,  if  one  were  to  examine  too  nicely,  his  mantle 
might  be  found  to  have  fallen  on  some  shoulders  where  it 
sits  quite  as  ungracefully  as  it  would  on  any  this  side  37  ° 
38'  north.  I  do  not  mean  to  assert,  that  no  such  thing 
as  illicit  intercourse  ever  exists  between  master  and 
slave,  for  if  the  cause  require  a  single  falsehood  or  mis 
representation  in  its  defense,  it  shall  be  abandoned  at 
once  to  those  more  expert  than  myself  in  the  use  of  such 
weapons,  if  there  be  any  truth  in  the  old  adage,  that 
"practice  makes  perfect."  Better  to  worship  truth  al 
ways  at  the  bottom  of  the  well,  than  see  her  elevated  to 
the  surface  only  to  become  the  foot-ball  of  every  intellec 
tual  gladiator.  But  I  do  very  sincerely  believe  such 
conduct  to  be  far  less  frequent  than  you  of  the  north 
suppose ;  not  quite  so  common,  at  least,  as  to  reconcile 
a  Southern  community  to  the  idea  of  Amalgamation. 
"  Disruption  of  family  ties"  might  be  urged  with 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  153 

far  greater  propriety,  for,  indeed,  this  is  no  small  evil ; 
though,  fortunately,  mutual  pride  and  affection,  as  well 
as  religion  and  humanity,  are  continually  rising  up  more 
and  more  for  its  suppression.  I  dare  say,  the  idea  of 
"mutual  affection"  is  all  "heathen  Greek"  to  you; 
but  only  turn  to  old  Scottish  history  or  romance,  and 
see  the  devotion  of  clansman  to  chief — the  pertinacity 
with  which  laird  and  foster-brother  just  will  wink  at 
each  other's  enormities — and  you  will  have  a  much 
clearer  conception  of  the  case.  It's  a  pity  the  really 
honest  and  humane  wouldn't,  instead  of  looking  only 
at  the  side  of  the  shield  their  own  hands  have  painted, 
take  time  to  observe  how  often  the  freed  slaves  of  New 
York  are  driven  back,  as  pests  and  nuisances,  naked 
and  destitute,  to  the  shelter  of  their  old  homes,  by  those 
who  have  no  knowledge  of,  and  no  forbearance  with, 
the  real  ingrain  negro  nature.  Probably  they  never 
dream  of  one  man's  offering  "two  prices"  for  another's 
slave,  or  taking  half  the  value  for  his  own,  rather  than 
part  man  and  wife,  and  another's  saying,  "  Choose  your 
master"  (which  means  that  a  hundred  or  so,  more  or 
less,  isn't  to  stand  in  the  way  of  such  choice),  and  a 
third,  virtually  "  throwing  in  a  child  or  two,"  to  avoid 
separating  young  ones  from  their  mother,  or  of  servants, 
put  up  at  public  sale  or  hire,  saying,  "  I  shan't  serve 
you,  sir"  an  intimation  which  few  venture  to  disre 
gard  at  the  risk  of  being  "bedeviled  out  of  time,  money, 
and  patience  into  the  bargain ; "  but  I  think  they  would 
be  apt  to  get  pretty  much  out  of  conceit  of  themselves, 
or  disgusted  with  the  objects  of  their  commiseration, 
could  they  only  hear  the  universal  cry  of  horror — Oh, 
Mass'r,  they  is  so  hard  to  please  !  " — with  which  the 
poor  creatures  invariably  recoil  from  living  a  single 


154:  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

year  with  any  of  these  seif-same  sympathizers  that 
happen  to  settle  among  them.  "  Take  you  down  the 
river  to  some  of  them  Frenchmen  or  Yankees  in  New 
Orleans"  is  about  the  ne  plus  ultra  of  threats  to  an 
idle  or  vicious  servant ;  and  "  thankless  as  a  Southern 
slave  to  a  Northern  Abolitionist"  as  good  an  illustra 
tion  of  ingratitude  as  any  mortal,  au  fait  to  slavery  as 
it  is,  would  ever  need:  for  while  the  master  regards 
said  Abolitionist  as  a  sort  of  rabid  animal,  whom  it  is 
perfectly  right  and  necessary  to  hunt  down,  the  slave 
unquestionably  despises  him,  from  the  very  bottom  of 
his  soul,  as  neither  more  nor  less  than  one  of  those 
wretched  Pariahs  so  immeasurably  inferior  to  all "  'spect- 
able  colored  ladies  and  gemmen,"  that  there  is  almost 
contamination  in  the  very  name !  But  you  should  hear 
a  negro  say,  "Poor  white  folks  !"  if  you  want  to  know 
how  completely  the  vocabulary  opprobrious,  the  air  con 
tumelious,  and  the  intendment  infamous,  can  be  ex 
hausted  in  a  single  breath. 

Yet,  after  all,  the  fact  still  remains— -families  are 
separated,  and  sometimes,  perhaps,  (though  very  rarely, 
I  believe),  capriciously  ;  and  could  this  result  be  traced 
primarily  or  exclusively  to  slavery,  it  would  of  itself  be 
an  unanswerable  argument  against  the  institution.  But 
if  this  is  to  be  abolished  in  mercy  to  "the  poor,  injured 
African,"  what,  or  who,  is  to  stand  between  him  and 
that  stern  master  of  the  free,  "  the  unspiritual  god,  Cir 
cumstance  ; "  and  what  is  to  be  done  with  his  minion, 
Common  Law :  for  who  has  not  seen  the  household  of 
the  Caucasian  scattered,  like  leaves  before  the  autumn 
blast,  at  the  very  shadow  of  his  coming  ? 

These  and  the  like  considerations  prove,  most  conclu 
sively  to  me,  that  Abolition  is  not  a  question  of  religion 


LETTEES   AND   MISCELLANIES.  155 

or  morality,  or  humanity  even !  What  is  it,  then  ? 
Simply  a  political  hobby.  And  now,  according  to  my 
own  showing,  I  am  about  to  give  irrefragable  evidence 
that  Celibacy  has  marked  me  for  her  own !  Well,  so  it 
is  ;  but  let  that  pass.  "A  woman  meddling  with  poli 
tics  is  like  a  one-eyed  dog  in  a  meat-shop,"  says  some 
elegant  writer ;  but  not  having  his  fear  before  my  eyes, 
I  shall  venture — consoling  myself,  meantime,  with  a  re 
flection  which,  it  seems,  never  occurred  to  him,  namely, 
that  a  dog  with  no  eyes  has  still  two  senses  by  which  to 
distinguish  fresh  meat  from  stale. 

To  satisfy  yourself  that  my  position  is  correct,  mark 
the  persevering,  uniform  effort  to  bring  this  same  anti- 
slavery  question  to  bear  upon  elections,  and  the  use 
made  of  it  in  the  Congressional  halls  of  the  country. 
Did  you  never  see  the  mother  of  an  unruly  urchin  keep 
a  venerable  birch  suspended  over  her  mantle-piece,  to 
be  hinted  at,  specially  referred  to,  and  even  taken  down 
and  brandished  about  the  ears  of  the  refractory  subject, 
as  occasion  might  require  ?  Well,  just  such  another  rod 
of  correction  is  this  slave  question  in  the  hands  of  a 
politician.  No  sooner  is  an  obnoxious  measure  in  dan 
ger  of  being  carried,  than  up  starts  some  one  with 
''''slave  representation,;"  another  chimes  in  '''•equal 
rights;"  a  third  follows  up  the  cry  with  " JURISDICTION 
OF  THE  GENERAL  GOVERNMENT  ; "  and  Mr.  Adams  shall 
"  ask  leave  to  present  a  petition"  and  Mr.  Yan  Buren 
have  his  "  doubts"  till  the  house  is  distracted,  the  mem 
bers  in  a  frenzy,  and  the  original  subject,  for  the  time 
being,  a  forgotten  dream  to  all  but  the  makers  of  the 
uproar.  And  this  is  LEGISLATION  ! 

By-the-by,  has  your  father  'forgiven  the  last-named 
gentleman  his  success,  in  consideration  of  his  "  doubts 


* 

156  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

respecting  the  District  of  Columbia  ? "  Aye,  he  doubts, 
does  he  ?  JSo  do  not  I,  that,  let  him  flourish  the  old 
birch  as  much  as  he  will,  the  time  to  use  it  will  never 
come  in  his  day,  if  he  can  prevent  it.  He  has  no  ambi 
tion  to  "  damn  himself  to  everlasting  fame  "  as  the  dis 
memberer  of  the  Union :  in  the  very  characteristics  of 
the  man  the  country  has  the  best  of  all  possible  as 
surances  that  the  emergency  is  not  yet.  Should  it  ever 
.come  at  all,  he  knows  very  well  there  is  no  alternative 
but  war — "war  to  the  knife" — yes,  to  the  hilt!  He 
knows  the  South,  will  never  succumb  to  this  foreign 
domination  ;  that  it  cannot — it  ought  not.  He  knows 
every  son  of  the  soil  would  pour  out  his  life-blood  like 
water,  and  repel  such  an  aggression  on  his  rights  to  the 
last  gasp  of  existence !  And  there  is  not  a  demagogue 
of  the  North  who  talks,  "  like  a  sick  man  in  his  dreams," 
of  "  coercing  the  South  into  measures,"  but  knows,  too, 
in  his  inmost  soul,  that  he  "  would  cavil  with  the  devil 
for  the  ninth  part  of  a  hair,"  were  he  similarly  situated. 
Daughter  of  America!  what  dost  thou  here  in  this 
field  of  unhallowed  strife  ?  Is  it  to  stand,  like  the  Sa- 
bine  wife,  between  your  country  and  destruction ;  or, 
like  the  Scripture's  madman,  "  to  scatter  around  fire 
brands,  arrows  and  death ! "  BEWARE  !  The  fiery  mass 
of  human  passion,  once  ignited,  will  bury  in  undistin 
guished  ruin  all  that  is  "  lovely  and  of  good  report"  in 
public  character,  all  that  is  estimable  and  dear  in  pri 
vate  life,  and  leave  their  burning  ashes  on  the  soul! 
And  shall  woman's  breath  fan  the  flame  of  civil  dis 
cord,  and  woman's  hand  whet  the  dagger  that  is  to 
drink  the  warm  blood  of  a  brother  ?  Forbid  it,  GENIUS 

OF  MY  COUNTRY ! 

Do  not  do  me  the  injustice  to  suppose  I  have  forgotten 


•     *•  ft  .'••  i 

*      ;    •'•  /«* 

*  * 

LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  157 

for  a  moment  that  I  was  once  a  child  of  the  North.  No, 
New  York  contains  the  ashes  of  my  father,  to  me  it  is 
consecrated  ground.  It  was  the  birthplace  of  my  brother, 
and  every  spot  whereon  he  trod  is  holy,  and  I  love  it 
as  those  only  can  who  have  little  else  to  cling  to  but 
their  country.  Her  lofty  highlands  and  lowly  glens,  her 
mighty  lakes  and  noble  rivers,  and  rushing  cataracts, 
have  all  their  place  in  my  affections.  I  am  proud  of 
her  noble  motto  EXCELSIOK,  of  her  unrivaled  civil,  re 
ligious,  and  literary  institutions ;  above  all,  I  love  her 
for  her  good  old  aristocracy — pillars  on  which  the  vast 
fabric  of  social  rights  must  rest.  But  while  I  thus  look 
to  her  with  exultation  and  pride,  it  is  with  indignation 
and  shame  I  behold  the  moral  scavengers  of  the  old 
world,  pouring  wave  after  wave  of  human  corruption 
through  all  the  portals  of  that  fair  edifice,  till  every 
avenue  is  filled  to  the  gorge  with  the  foul  pollution. 
It  is  as  if  the  Temple  of  Cloacis  had  crushed  the  Par 
thenon! 

New  York  suffers  for  a  fault  not  her  own ;  she  has 
been  cheated  of  her  identity  by  an  impudent  impostor, 
who  goes  swaggering  up  and  down  in  her  cast-clothes, 
and  caricatures  her  to  her  face.  But  shall  the  country, 
by  its  naturalization  laws,  connive  at  this  innovation  on 
her  domestic  quiet,  and  then  complain  that  her  family 
is  not  well  regulated,  and  that  she  herself  "plays  most 
fantastic  tricks  before  high  heaven  ? "  It  is  a  wonder  she 
has  not  gone  frantic  before  now ;  but  the  day  is  not  far 
distant,  I  hope,  when  her  majestic  voice  shall  be  heard, 
hushing  into  silence  the  babbling  crew,  who  have  so  long 
usurped  her  honors  and  dishonored  her  name,  at  once  and 
forever." 

The  above,  my  dear  C.,  is  written  exclusively  for  your 


158  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

benefit,  not  to  enable  anything  or  anybody  that  ever 
chanced  to  meet  me  in  the  streets,  to  talk  herself  into  a 
blue-stocking  oracle  pro  tern.,  on  the  strength  of  having 
"seen  a  letter  from  an  acquaintance  at  the  South." 
You  know  who  will  translate  for  you,  and  he  and  one 
or  two  others  are  welcome  to  the  perusal  if  their  courage 
does  not  fail  them  "upon  sight;"  but  no  more.  I  have 
contemned  the  majesty  of  mob,  and  set  at  naught  the 
dignity  of  canaille,  and  even  were  it  not  so,  I  am  not 
conceited  enough  to  expect  my  opinion  to  have  any 
weight  with  abolitionists,  who  are  well  known  to  be  ex 
officio,  as  impervious  to  argument  as  India-rubber  to 
water.  So  as  no  good  can  come  of  the  exposal,  if  this 
is  circulated  as  my  Letters  from  Virginia  were,  it  will  be 
without  my  consent;  "I  would  rather  print  before  I 
publish,"  as  a  certain  clergyman  used  to  say  of  his  ser 
mons. 

Adieu  ma  chere  Cousine. 

L. 

REMINISCENCE. 

"HE  who  sits  above 
In  his  calm  glory,  will  forgive  the  love 
His  creatures  bear  each  other,  even  though  blent 
With  a  vain  worship;  for  its  close  is  dim 
Eveii  in  tears,  which  lead  the  wrong  soul  back  to  him." 

WE  were  but  Two.     Early  nnkindness  drew 
Its  line  of  hated  demarcation  round 
Our  childhood's  hearth,  shutting  us  coldly  out 
From  kindred  sympathies.     "We  were  but  Two ; 
Each  was  to  each  the  other's  world — for  us 
There  was  no  other.     He  whose  sunny  smile, 
Illumed  life's  early  dawn,  might  never  more 


v        LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  159 

Dispense  that  cheering  light  to  guide  us  through 
Its  wanderings !     And  she,  who  should  have  held 
Unto  the  parched  and  fevered  lip,  the  cup 
Of  living  waters,  pure  from  the  fount 
Of  woman's  holy  love — why  she,  aye  she 
Had  given  e'en  thee,"  thou  sinless  one, 
To  Death's  embrace,  ''most  cheerfully ,  so  it 
Had  pleased  God!" 

There  was  another  then, 
To  walk  with  me  life's  "peopled  desert!" 
Such  destiny  I  knew  was  mine.     Full  oft 
I  h>d  been  warned  by  sneering  lip,  and  eye 
Flashing  in  anger  and  in  scorn ;  and  by 
A  thrilling  tenderness  of  look  and  tone, 
Whose  melancholy  sweetness  haunts  me  yet, 
That  /was  born  for  this.     I  knew  it  well, 
E'en  in  that  hour  of  tearless  agony, 
When  first  returning  reason  vainly  strove 
To  put  away  the  fearful  consciousness, 
Of  what  mistaken  kindness  had  concealed. 

It  was  not  well ;  they  should  have  told  me  / 

Was  fatherless !     That  the  radiant  eye, 

Which  ever  turned  with  mellowed  light  to  mine, 

Had  closed  on  earth  to  ope  in  heaven. 

They  should  have  told  me  that  the  smile  so  like 

To  moonlight  upon  mist,  or  as  the  rays 

Of  setting  sunbeams  on  a  ruined  fane, 

Holy,  and  bright,  and  glorious,  yet  sad, 

Was  now  a  gem  for  memory's  casket 

Only !     They  should  have  told  all  this,  ere  1 

Was  strong  to  suffer  and  endure ;  and  then, 

Perhaps,  I  had  not  vainly  yearned  to  feel 


160  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

The  cold,  damp  grave-clods,  pressing  heavy  down 
Upon  ray  throbbing  heart,  so  they  would  lay 
Me  by  his  side — e'en  in  the  grave  to  seek 
Companionship  denied  on  earth.     But  Death, 
(Grown  dainty,)  battens  not  on  refuse  food ; 
And  therefore  the  unloved  lived  on — the  dead 
Mocking  the  living — a  bed  of  lava 
In  its  own  crater  frozen !     Such  I  knew 
Must  be  my  life's  brief  history,  not  thine. 
Oh  not  for  thee,  thou  young  and  guileless  one, 
Were  dark  forebodings  of  untimely  blight, 
And  early  death !     I  had  not  dreamed  of  this 
For  thee. 

Oh  it  is  little,  that  the  brief 

Vain  struggle  with  despair,  should  shed  the  frosts 
Of  age  upon  the  brow  of  youth,  pouring 
Contempt  on  manhood's  pride ;  but  it  is  much, 
When  stern  oppression  flings  his  ruthless  grasp 
Upon  the  slumb'ring  passions  of  a  child, 
Scarce  conscious  of  their  name,  and  gifts  them  with 
A  giant  strength  to  war  with  fate!     Then  girds 
The  mail  of  conflict  on  thy  shrinking  heart, 
Oh  woman !  saying  to  such  as  thee, 
Go  forth,  and  match  with  power,  and  cope  with  guile, 
And  battle  to  the  death  in  passion's  warfare! 
Woe  for  thy  budding  hopes  and  young  affections ! 
They  are  ever  first  and  noblest  victims 
In  the  strife.     And  woman's  gentle  nature, 
Her  happy,  trusting  spirit,  they,  oh  they, 
Are  traitors  and  must  die  the  death. 

I  do 

Remember  me  of  such  an  hour ;  madly 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  161 

Through  all  the  depths  of  outraged  nature,. 

Its  very  elements  were  nerved  for  strife, 

And  from  the  mingled  voice  of  agony, 

And  love,  and  pride,  there  came  a  vow  not  heard 

On  earth,  but  known  in  heaven,  ever  to  guard 

And  shield  thee  with  the  might  of  strong  affection, 

So  that  no  burning  blight  should  lay  its  seal 

Of  withering  on  thy  youthful  heart,  bowing 

Its  lofty  aspirations  down. 

Then,  too, 

There  came  the  stern  resolve ;  no  Christian  grace, 
Nor  woman -weakness,  nor  love  of  God,  nor  man, 
Nor  hope  in  life,  nor  fear  of  death,  should  win 
Me  from  my  haughty  purpose,  ere  I  saw 
That  spurner  of  the  infant  boy,  bowed  low 
Before  the  honored  man,  and  scorn  for  scorn 
Returned  the  saintly  scorner !     And  well 
That  vow  was  kept,  till  Death,  the  officious 
And  unwelcome,  interposed  to  cancel  all. 

SHE,  whose  joy  it  was  to  make  the  fountains 
Of  young  life  o'erflow  in  bitterness,  HE, 
Whose  pride  had  been  to  cast  the  healing  salt 
Into  the  troubled  tide — Death,  death,  these 
Are  thy  chosen ! 

Wherefore,  oh  God,  so  sternly 
Hast  thou  tried  thy  creature  ?     I  could  forego 
The  paltry  triumph  over  pride  abased, 
I  might  have  spared  the  winner  from  the  race 
Before  the  goal  was  won  ;  but  not,  oh  not 
From  out  my  inmost  soul  thy  priceless  love, 
My  more  than  brother !     I  was  believing 


162  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Hoping,  trusting  all  for  thee ;  but  dreaming 
Never  once,  that  Death's  stern  hand  was  feeling 
For  thy  heart-strings,  and  mine  not  yet  grown  cold. 

Men  talk  of  disappointment,  when  they  mourn 
Some  little  germ  of  promise  blighted,  ere 
The  touch  of  hope's  creative  hand  had  formed 
And  fashioned  it  to  beauty !     When  the  tree, 
The  stately  tree,  whose  stem  was  sown  in  hope 
And  nursed  in  fear,  until  the  heart's  best  blood 
Would  flow  like  water  out  to  yield  its  root 
One  drop  of  moisture — when  this  is  stricken  down, 
Before  the  very  eyes  that  looked  to  it 
For  shelter  from  life's  wintry  storms,  and  suns 
Of  sultry  summer — eyes  that  had  grown  dim 
Watching  its  growth  and  watering  it  with  tears  ; 
Then,  then  'tis  felt! 

All,  all  is  over  now ; 

And  that  which  was  an  adamant,  and  braved 
The  fury  of  the  elements  in  strife, 
Is  now  the  veriest  reed  that  floats  upon 
The  tide  of  time,  unknowing  where  to  anchor. 
God  grant  it  may  be  on  the  "Rock  of  Ages." 

— ,  Dec.,  1837. 

TO  THE  LOVED  IN  HEAVEN. 

TWELVE  weary  years,  twelve  weary  years, 
I've  lingered  on  since  thou  wert  gone ; 

Pygmalion's  statue,  bathed  in  tears, 
To  mourn  the  breathing  spirit  flown. 

V  ' 

And  yet  I  would  not  have  thee  back, 

To  tread  with  me  life's  thorny  way ; 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  163 

My  heart's  best  blood  is  on  its  track, 
Oh  God !  I  would  I  were  away ! 

Away  from  sin,  away  from  strife, 
Away  from  doubt,  away  from  fear, 

Away  from  all  that  makes  this  life 
A  stifled  sigh,  a  falling  tear. 

I  would  not  have  thee  back  to  grieve, 
O'er  blighted  hope  and  baffled  fame ; 

I  would  not  have  thy  heart  to  weave, 
Of  burning  thought,  its  pall  of  flame. 

But  I  would  blend  thy  dust  with  mine, 
When  in  the  grave  I  rest  my  head ; 

Earth  has  no  love  for  me  like  thine, 
I  would  I  too  were  with  the  dead. 

Lauderdale,  Tenn.,  June  10th,  1848. 

FOURTH  OF  JULY  ADDRESS  TO  THE  SONS  OF  TEMPERANCE. 

Prepared  for  a  young  lady  to  deliver,  with  BIBLE  and 

BANNER  to  a  newly  organized  DIVISION. 

(iXSEKTED   BY   BEQUEST.) 

REV.  SIR  AND  WORTHY  BROTHER  : 

As  the  honored  agent  of  your  humble  auxiliaries,  al 
low  me  to  express  to  yourselves  and  the  Sons  of  Tem 
perance  in  this  town  and  vicinity,  their  high  estimate 
of  your  incalculable  services  in  a  field  where  the  immor 
tal  seeds  of  Faith,  and  Hope,  and  Love  are  sown  in  time, 
to  blossom  and  expand  for  all  eternity ! 

But  while  millions  are  congregated  to  celebrate  this 
anniversary  of  a  nation's  birth,  let  us  remember,  that 


164  LETTEES   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

there  are  more  potent  enemies  of  human  weal  than  for 
eign  domination  or  political  vassalage ;  and  not  forget 
in  the  peans  due  to  the  past  the  untiring  vigilance  de 
manded  for  the  future.  The  edicts  of  civil  despotism 
may  reach  life  and  property,  its  chains  chafe  and  gall 
the  athletic  form  and  sinewy  limb ;  but  what  are  they  to 
the  "iron  gyves  "  that  eat  into  the  soul,  the  fierce  sirocco 
that  scorches  and  withers  up  the  brain,  the  cold  palsy 
that  paralyzes  the  will,  the  fell  grasp  that  crushes  out 
the  very  life  of  life  from  every  phase  of  existence  ?  The 
regal  or  military  despot  may  sometimes  require  a  vic 
tim  ;  war  here  and  there  claim  his  holocaust.  "JBut 
who  slew  all  these?"  ALL  THESE,  whose  bones  bleach 
and  moulder  from  the  shores  of  the  Atlantic  to  the 
strand  of  the  Pacific  ? 

Who  reduced  that  strong  man  to  the  helplessness  of 
infancy — who  sent  that  venerable  father,  that  soul- 
stricken  mother,  transfixed  on  many  a  spear  from  the 
broken  staif  of  their  old  age,  down  mourning  to  the 
grave?  Who  betrayed  those  silver  hairs  to  the  dust, 
and  soiled  the  glory  of  their  crown  with  the  mire  of  the 
street?  Who  bathed  the  face  of  that  proud  boy  in 
scalding  tears  for  a  father's  shame,  and  sent  that  promis 
ing  young  man  to  the  scaffold,  that  stalwart  form  to  the 
felon's  cell  ?  Who  dragged  that  minister  of  the  Most 
High  God  from  the  very  "horns  of  the  altar,"  to  wal 
low  in  the  filth  of  his  own  degradation  ?  Who  planted 
that  moral  Upas  to  distil  its  deadly  miasma  over  all  who 
repose  in  its  shade,  till  the  very  breath  of  heaven — 
"God's  blessing  breathed  upon  a  fainting  earth" — is 
redolent  and  reeking  with  the  foul  effluvia  of  the  bot 
tomless  pit?  Who  wrested  that  last  crust  from  the 
famishing  daughter  of  affluence,  and  forced  her  to  the 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  165 

/ 

gate  of  the  alms-house,  or  the  grave  of  the  suicide? 
Who  launched  that  young  girl — despair  at  her  heart,  a 
father's  curse  ringing  in  her  ears,  and  a  father's  dis 
honor  clinging  to  her  name — into  that  vortex  where 
health,  and  innocence,  and  peace,  and  all  are  lost?  Who 
forced  that  frantic  woman  to  fly  from  the  husband  of 
her  youth,  and  chained  that  living,  breathing,  sentient 
being  to  the  foul  and  loathsome  carcass  of  a  soulless, 
senseless  brute  ?  Who  baptized  that  child  in  its  mother's 
gore,  and  laid  the  wretched  parent  in  a  bloody  grave 
by  a  husband's  hand?  Who  turned  that  other  home 
into  a  pandemonium,  whose  frenzied  inmates  would 
gladly  choose  "strangling  and  death  rather  than  life?" 
Who  transformed  that  once  gentle,  loving  wife  into  an 
incarnate  fiend — who  made  her  a  foul  plague-spot  in  crea 
tion,  a  burning  stigma  on  her  sex  and  race,  over  which 
angels  well  might  weep  ?  At  whose  bidding  does  "  Love  " 
thus  "laugh  at  faith,"  man's  honor  and  woman's  peace, 
all  promise  of  distinction,  all  sense  of  security,  all  dream 
of  happiness  here  and  hereafter,  flit  away  like  the  shadow 
of  a  shade?  WHO  is  it  that  thus  chases  reason,  and 
penitence,  and  pardon,  and  hope,  and  faith,  from  the 
couch  of  the  dying,  while  the  poor  conscious-stricken 
maniac  is  already  raving  in  the  agonies  of  the  "  second 
death?" 

Ah,  they  vanish,  "  like  the  baseless  fabric  of  a  vision," 
before  the  breath  of  that  "  pestilence  that  walketh  in 
darkness  and  wasteth  at  noonday,"  and  the  iron  nerve, 
and  herculean  frame,  and  giant  intellect,  bow  down  al 
most  without  a  struggle:  and  the  "worm  of  the  still" 
winds  coil  after  coil  of  his  serpentine  fold  around  the 
unresisting  victim,  till  thought,  and  life,  and  all,  are 
strangled  in  his  deadly  embrace!  And  is  there  no 
14 


166  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

hand  outstretched  to  save — no  bulwark  for  defense — no 
shout  "TO  THE  RESCUE ?"  Oh,  yes!  they  are  coming — • 
aye  coming — from  every  valley  and  hill-top  in  our  land, 
weak  and  impotent  it  may  be  in  their  own  individual 
strength,  but  mighty  as  the  overwhelming  avalanche  in 
the  resistless  momentum  of  concentrated  power;  and 
thank  God,  there  is  hope  at  last,  that  the  progress  of 
King  Alcohol  may  yet  be  stayed ! 

It  is  because  the  noble  "Sons,"  whom  you  this  day 
represent,  have  enrolled  their  names  in  this  band  of 
moral  heroes,  that  we,  your  few  and  feeble  allies,  would 
give  to  our  admiration  and  gratitude  a  more  enduring 
expression,  than  the  trembling  sounds  which  now  vibrate 
on  the  air,  in  their  passage  to  oblivion.  And,  therefore, 
we  turn  with  one  accord,  not  to  diamond  or  opal,  but  to 
that  "pearl  of  exceeding  price,  whose  beauty  shall  not 
decay,"  for  it  concentrates  and  refracts  the  rays  of  Di 
vinity,  to  irradiate  the  wide  circle  of  humanity. 

To  you,  Reverend  Sir,  the  professed  expositor  of  this 
Sacred  Yolume,  I  need  not  expatiate  on  its  noble  simpli 
city  and  touching  pathos,  its  unrivaled  beauty  and  match 
less  sublimity,  its  lofty  morality,  practical  precepts,  and 
ultimate  bearing  on  man's  character  and  destiny.  Com 
pared  with  its  luminous  and  simple  ethics,  how  dark  and 
complicate  appear  the  most  lucid  dogmas  of  the  ablest  hu 
man  casuist.  As  a  science  nothing  can  be  more  abstruse — 
as  a  rule  of  practice  nothing  more  clear  and  concise.  It 
bears  the  impress  of  Divinity — man  did  not  make,  he 
cannot  destroy — and  when  a  God  condescends  to  teach, 
should  not  all  nature  draw  near,  with  humble  reverence, 
and  listen  ?  From  his  "  golden  rule,"  we  learn  "  to  raise 
up  the  bowed  down,"  to  "  bind  up  the  broken  in  heart 
and  bruised  in  spirit,"  to  sustain  the  weak,  defend  the 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  167 

defenseless,  RECLAIM  THE  ERRING,  and  "prevent  the  foot 
that  is  ready  to  slide."  But  what  avails  it  to  under 
stand  the  injunction  unless  we  reduce  it  to  practice? 
"If  ye  know  these  things,"  says  our  blessed  Saviour, 
"happy  are  ye  if  ye  do  them." 

The  voice  of  all  nature  proclaims  to  man — "  This, 
this  is  not  thy  rest ;  "passing  away  "  is  written  on  all 
that  life  or  earth  contains ;  yet  how  many  choose  to 
merge  the  nobler  in  the  baser  instincts  of  their  nature, 
and  turn  their  backs  upon  their  Maker  and  the  Most- 
High  God,  their  Redeemer!  Alas!  alas!  that  man, 
"  the  worm,  the  god,"  should  so  prefer  the  reptile  to  the 
Divinity  of  his  nature,  forgetting  alike  his  high  origin 
and  immortal  destiny !  But  it  is  even  so :  and  here, 
then,  is  ample  room  for  us  to  approve  ourselves  sons 
and  daughters  of  God  as  well  as  of  Temperance ;  for 
here  is  a  field  wide  as  the  area  of  humanity — labor  mo 
mentous  as  the  interests  of  eternity. 

Let  the  infidel  scoff,  and  the  orthodox  opposer  range 
himself  in  open  hostility  to  all  benevolent  association ; 
let  the  lukewarm  friend  virtually  throw  his  influence 
into  the  adverse  scale;  but  we  must  not  falter!  "We 
have  put  our  hands  to  the  work ;  "  and  our  earnest 
must  not  slacken  into  play ! "  We  have  joined  our 
selves  to  the  battle ;  and  he  that  weuld  turn  back  from 
the  fury  of  the  onset,  "is  as  when  a  standard-bearer 
fainteth ! "  For  us — for  you  particularly,  young  man — 
there  is  no  looking  ~back !  The  lip  that  predicts  your 
failure,  the  voice  that  would  lure  you  from  your  post, 
would  be  first  and  foremost  to  sneer  at  your  weakness 
and  deride  your  desertion.  The  very  eye  that  now 
smiles  in  seeming  contempt  or  indifference  on  your 
organization,  might,  perhaps,  mourn  in  secrecy  and 


168  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

tears  over  its  dissolution!  Go  on,  then — in  the  name 
of  all  that  is  sacred  to  man,  all  that  is  dear  to  woman, 
GO--ON!  "Scorn  not  the  smallness  of  daily  endeavor; 
let  the  great  meaning  ennoble  it  ever ! " 

Take,  then,  this  priceless  legacy  to  a  ruined  world — 
this  chart,  drawn  by  the  finger  of  Omnipotence,  to  guide 
man,  by  Calvary's  Cross,  to  the  throne  of  the  Most 
High.  Bind  it  to  your  bosoms,  till  the  spirit  of  its  pre 
cepts  has  passed  into  your  hearts  and  lives  again  in 
your  lives ! 

Take,  too,  this  fair  banner ;  turn  your  eye  to  its  silken 
sheen:  let  FIDELITY  be  your  crest;  LOVE  and  PUKITY 
your  "  sword  and  shield ; "  FAITH  your  talisman ;  HOPE 
your  watchword;  '•'•upward  and  onward"  your  career. 
Faint  not,  falter  not,  till  man  recognizes  man  as  his 
brother,  and  stands  up  once  more  in  the  image  of  his 
Maker — "regenerated,  redeemed,  disenthralled!" 

"  Men  of  :thought,  be  up  and  stirring, 

-^-  Night  and  day; 
Sow  the  seed — withdraw  the  curtain — 
Clear  the  way ! 

Men  of  action,  aid  and  cheer  them 
»     *^» 

As  ye  may.' 

"  Once  the  welcome  light  has  broken, 

Who  shall  say 
What  the  un imagined  glories 

Of  the  day  ? 
What  the  evil  that  shall  perish 

In  its  ray  ? 
Men  of  thought  and  men  of  action, 

CLEAK  THE  WAY  ! " 

A 

Fling  your  proud  colors  to  the  breeze ! — and  now,  in 
the  name  of  the  God  of  Battles,  go  forth,  "  conquering 
and  to  conquer!  "  "Not  for  the  brightness  of  a  mortal 
wreath  " — not  for  the  idle  bravuras,  the  empty  applause 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  169 

of  a  transitory  crowd — O  no!  they  would  be  insult  and 
mockery  in  an  hour  like  this — but  for  the  sublime  as 
surance  that  "  He  which  converteth  a  sinner  from  the 
error  of  his  ways  shall  save  his  soul  from  death."  "  They 
that  be  wise  shall  shine  as  the  brightness  of  the  firma 
ment  ;  and  they  who  turn  many  to  righteousness,  as  the 
stars,  forever  and  ever ! "  L. 

MIDNIGHT  MUSINGS. 

My  fate  is  dark — my  spirit  high  ; 

No  voice  of  love  thrills  on  my  ear ; 
No  smile  of  hope  relumes  my  eye : 

My  soul  is  sad — my  heart  is  sere. 

Friend  after  friend,  I've  seen  them  die, 
Or  felt  them  change :  dream  after  dream, 

I've  watched  their  flight,  all  wild  and  high — 
Their  fall,  in  cold  oblivion's  stream. 

And  Fancy  folds  her  weary  wings, 
And  Genius  checks  his  eagle  flight ; 

A  haunting  gleam  of  shapeless  things 
Is  all  of  Thought's  once  gorgeous  light. 

What  is  my  love  ?     A  worthless  boon 

Back  on  the  giver  coldly  thrust. 
What  is  my  life  ?     A  hollow  moan. 

My  requiem  ?     "  Dust  to  dust ! " 

What  have  we  left,  my  soul,  to  seek  ? 

The  smile  of  love,  the  voice  of  praise, 
When  beauty  wanes,  is  cold  and  mute 

As  are  thy  lute's  forgotten  lays. 


170  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

"What  have  we  left!     O  naught  on  earth: 
The  minstrel-eye,  whose  radiance  flung 

A  glory  o'er  the  inner  life, 

"Eye  hatk  not  seen,"  nor  poet  sung: 

The  minstrel- voice,  whose  echo  stirred 
Within  my  heart  a  dream  of  song ; 

Earth  hath  not  seen,  time  hath  not  heard 
A  strain  so  wild,  so  sweet,  so  long : 

The  spirit-wing,  whose  dazzling  flight 

Spanned  earth  and  heaven,  and  skies  and  seas, 

The  spirit-crown,  whose  magic  light 
Flung  glory  on  the  passing  breeze: 

The  spirit's  MIGHT,  that  high  o'er  all 

In  regal  splendor  bore  its  sway ; 
The  spirit's  LOVE,  that  knew  no  pall — 

O  God !  that  these  should  pass  away  1 

The  rest,  the  rest !  not  theirs  to  cry 
The  craven  note,  we  fail!  we  fail? 

A  broken  plume,  a  shrouded  eye, 
A  trampled  leaf — these  tell  the  tale. 

"Soiled  with  the  dust  of  men,"  that  wing, 
That  angel  wing  in  darkness  lies : 

A  naked  thorn,  a  nameless  grief, 
Is  all  of  Genius'  cherished  prize. 

Alas !  thou  wing,  thou  weary  wing, 
Thou  crown  of  glory  and  of  pride, 

Earth  may  not  heed,  poor  fainting  thing, 
The  life-drop  ebbing  from  thy  side. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Earth  may  not  know  from  what  a  height 
That  bird  of  song  was  stricken  down  ; 

Earth  may  not  know  the  gems  thou'st  lost, 
Bright  Genius,  from  thy  starry  crown. 

Alas,  for  thee,  thou  weary  wing! 

The  coil  is  round  thee  all  too  fast ; 
Too  close  to  earth  thy  pinions  cling ; 

A  trance-like  death  hath  o'er  thee  past ! 

O  wing,  O  angel  wing,  arise, 

And  plume  thee  for  a  prouder  flight ! 

In  vain,  in  vain — the  filmy  eyes 
Are  closing  in  eternal  night. 

"Woe  for  thee,  wing,  O  wayworn  wing, 
Gone  is  thy  splendor  and  thy  pride ; 

God  help  thee  now,  forsaken  thing, 

Not  thus,  not  thus  thou  shouldst  have  died ! 

God  of  all  life !  to  thee  we  bring 

The  ashes  from  a  funeral  pyre ! 

****** 
"God  of  all  life!  to  thee  I  string 

The  chords  of  my  neglected  lyre ! " 

The  rushing  of  that  spirit- wing, 

How  sweeps  it  now  heaven's  arch  along, 
Its  clarion  note  all  high  and  clear — 

"  SALVATION"  is  my  loftiest  song! 

• 

Life,  joy,  and  hope,  and  all  in  all, 

My  Savior,  God,  in  thee  I  find  ; 
Back  to  the  earth  I  cast  its  thrall — 

Ye  may  not  stay  the  chainless  mind. 


172  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Hinder  me  not,  frail  child  of  day, 
My  course  is  high,  my  pinion  fleet — 

Hinder  me  not !     Away,  away, 
I'll  lay  my  song  at  JESUS'  feet ! " 

Ark.,  Dec.  31,  1849. 


FRAGMENT. 

.    '  » " 

"  O  Love !  thy  altar  is  on  high, 
Though  burns  its  flame  within  the  heart." 

SuTERMEISTEE . 

It  is !  it  is !     The  voiceless  grave 
Gives  back  the  yearning  soul  no  sound  or  tone : 
Earth's  harps  have  no  deep  melody  that  thrills 
Through  the  lone  chambers  of  the  haunted  heart, 
The  song  that  heralds  bliss  immortal ! 
Thy  home,  O  Love !  must  be  in  heaven !  L. 


"FAE!"  FAILI-IT  DARE  NOT  THINK  TO  FAIL, 

Reply  to  the  exclamation,  "  Ifs  a  wonder  your  EYE 
doesn't  fail,  with  such  bad  health  and  little  care!" 

"  Fail ! "  fail !     It  dare  not  think  to  fail- 
Minerva  stalking  by  its  side, 
And  Pleasure  sighing  o'er  the  vale 
For  fairer  hours  to  her  denied. 

• 
"  Fail ! "  fail — ambition  at  the  heart, 

Burning  its  liquid  orb  to  coal ; 
While  Health  and  Care  still  stand  apart, 
"With  wistful  eye  on  far-off  goal ! 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  173 

"  Fail ! "  fail — when  golden  Hope  hath  poured 

Her  molten  splendors  on  its  hall, 
And  wary  Time  hath  grasped  the  hoard 
To  hide  it  'neath  his  fun'ral  pall ! 

'  Fail ! "  fail — how  could  it  fail,  when  Life 

Transfixed  each  glance  upon  a  thorn, 
And  sneering  Envy  marked  the  strife 
Fate  waged  with  Pride,  the  better  born  ? 

Why  should  it  fail  ?     Despair  hath  froze 

Its  glacier  light  forever  there, 
And  Passion's  Etna  wildly  throws 

Its  lurid  light  upon  the  air. 

I've  welded  it  in  passion's  heat ; 

I've  cooled  it  with  indifference's  frost ; 
I've  laved  it  oft  in  feeling's  tide : 

Why  should  its  splendor  now  be  lost  ? 

"  Fail ! "  fail !     They  rest  who  "  fail ; " 
But  it  still  struggles  with  the  wave  ; 
It  dare  not  reef  its  elfish  sail, 
It  may  not  rest  but  in  the  grave ! 

De  Soto,  March,  1850. 
15 


174  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 


LETTER   XV. 

» 

ON  TflE  DEATH   OF  A  YOUNG  LADY, 
Silled  by  the  accidental  explosion  of  a  rocket. 

TO    MI88    F.    F.    F. 

S ,  La.,  Aug.,  1850. 

MY  RESPECTED  FRIEND: 

Though  I  know  how  hard  it  is  to  meet  the  cold  hand  of  a 
stranger  in  place  of  the  dear,  familiar  trace  we  love,  still 
hope  to  be  excused  for  assuming  an  office  which  nei 
ther  Mrs.  L.  nor  her  daughter  are  at  present  able  to  fill. 
Both  have  been  ill  since  their  partial  recovery  from  the 
terrible  shock  of  their  recent  and  sore  affliction :  the 
former  dangerously  so,  from  an  attack  of  inflammatory 
rheumatism.  She  is  now  convalescent,  but  too  enfee 
bled  in  health  and  depressed  in  spirit  to  assume  the 
correspondence  of  her  deceased  daughter,  in  addition 
to  the  numerous  and  arduous  duties  which  she  dis 
charged  so  entirely  to  the  satisfaction  of  all,  but  the  few 
who  regretted  to  see  her  valuable  life  worn  out  in  an 
ungenial  avocation.  You  will,  therefore,  excuse  me,  if, 
in  relating  u  every  minutia"  of  the  late  sad  occurrence, 
I  repeat  some  things  of  which  you  are  already  apprised, 
and  many  which  will  be  painful  to  hear. 

You  ask  "  why,  if  there  was  but  the  one  wound,  was 
her  dress  so  much  torn  ? "  I  can  only  'say,  that,  being 
of  a  light  fabric,  it  might,  very  possibly,  have  been 
done  in  the  fall ;  aj;  all  events,  I  know  that  it  was  torn 
from  her  body  when  all  was  over.  But,  save  the  one 
fatal  mark,  that  fiery  messenger  most  assuredly  left  no 
trace,  except  a  small  contusion  on  the  right  side  of  her 
nose,  another  near  the  corner  of  her  mouth,  and  a  slight 


LETTEKS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

cicatrice  on  the  neck  of  a  little  miss  of  twelve  or  thir 
teen,  whose  head  your  departed  friend  had  just  bent 
down  on  her  own  lap,  telling  her  "  not  to  be  afraid  I  " 
And  was  it  not  a  beautiful  and  fttting  finale  to  such  a 
life  as  hers,  that  her  last  accents  should  have  been  of 
kindness — 'her  last  act  one  of  mercy,  that,  in  all  human 
probability,  spared  another  from  sharing  her  fate  ? 

You  have  certainly  "  the  last  letter,"  and,  so  far  as 
we  know,  "the  last  line,"  she  ever  wrote.  I  spent  most 
of  the  day  with  her  on  Saturday ;  consequently,  she 
must  have  written  in  the  evening  after  I  left ;  and  her 
sister  recollects  to  have  seen  her  seal  and  direct  on  Mon 
day  morning.  She  then  completed  a  small  piece  of 
fancy-work,  and  spent  some  little  time  in  arranging  a 
private  sitting-room  and  other  matters  in  reference  to 
the  expected  arrival  of  Mr.  P ;  but  declined  enter 
ing  on  any  more  material  occupation  of  her  own,  in 
order  to  devote  the  week  to  the  assistance  of  a  young 
friend  in  her  bridal  preparations. 

After  this,  she  held  with  her  beloved  pastor  a  long 
and  highly  satisfactory  conversation  on  the  subject  of 
experimental  religion,  and  cheered  his  desponding  heart 
by  saying  how  peculiarly  and  singularly  appropriate  to 
her  own  feelings  were  certain  portions  of  a  service,  over 
the  apparent  inutility  of  which  he  was  mourning.  In 
the  evening,  and  for  the  first  time  in  several  weeks,  she 
went  out  to  make  calls,  accompanied  by  some  young 
married  ladies,  whom,  in  her  own  quiet,  unobtrusive 
manner,  she  incited  to  faith  and  good  works ;  continued 
more  than  ordinarily  well  and  cheerful  throughout  the 
day,  and  while  at  supper,  concluded  "to  go,"  as  usual, 
*'  on  ''Nette's  account"  to  the  pyrotechnic  exhibition, 
held  a  few  squares  distant.  She  was  attended  by  her 


*      .•» 

176  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

esteemed  friend,  Dr.  M r,  a  young  gentleman  whose 

amiable  character  and  deep  sympathy  have  since  en 
deared  him  more  than  ever  to  her  afflicted  relatives ; 
and  left  in  what  were  for  her  "  unusually  fine  spirits," 
remarking  gayly  to  her  companion,  uLet  us  old  folks  go 
ahead,  and  put  these  children  (her  sister  and  a  married 
lady  still  younger,)  behind  us,  where  we  can  take  care  of 
them ; "  and  when  the  tramp  of  approaching  footsteps 
was  heard  an  hour  or  two  later,  her  mother  thought  the 
whole  party  were  returning  "in  high  glee!" 

Having  been  suffering,  for  some  ten  or  twelve  hours 
previous,  with  a  severe  chill  and  fever,  I  was,  of  course, 
not  present ;  but  understand  that  "  Miss  Celia  (for  that 
is  the  name  by  which  we  knew  and  loved  her  best,)  took, 
either  from  choice  or  necessity,  one  of  the  high  back 
seats,"  at  the  extreme  verge  of  the  inclosure,  near  the 

family  of  Mrs.  S ,  mother  of  the  little  girl  already 

mentioned.  You  are  aware  that,  maddened  by  the  pain 
of  burning  pitch,  one  of  the  performers  unconsciously 
dashed  down  a  handful  of  ignited  matches  on  a  bundle 
of  rockets.  Two  or  three  slight  accidents  to  persons  and 
apparel  are  said  to  have  occurred  during  the  explosion, 
yet  few  knew  or  noticed  that  this  was  not  intentional, 
consequently  no  general  alarm  was  felt ;  not  a  single 
scream  was  heard,  and  no  eye  followed  the  course  of 
that  ill-fated  shaft;  no  heart  dreamed  of  its  deadly 
effect — not  even  the  child  reclining  in  her  lap  knew 
she  was  hurt  until  she  fell.  "Somebody  go  for  water" 

exclaimed  Mr-i.  S ,  who  was  the  first  to  reach  her ; 

"she  has  fainted /"     Dr.  M r  started  off  in  a  run, 

but  was  soon  recalled.     "  Come  back,  she  is  AWFULLY 

hurt!"  added  Mrs.  S ,  who,  in  attempting  to  raise 

her  from  where  she  had  fallen  "  altogether  in  a  heap" 


*  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  177 

and  wipe  off,  what  in  the  imperfect  light  was  supposed 
to  be  perspiration,  discovered  the  wooden  fragment  of  a 
rocket,  an  inch  or  more  in  diameter,  projecting  from  her 
right  eye  and  out  at  the  back  of  her  head.  Friends  and 
physicians  gathered  round,  the  missile  was  extracted 
and  arrangements  made  for  bearing  her  home.  "Her" 
no,  not  her,  for  once  the  crowd  were  right  in  their  in 
tuition — -it  could  be  called  nothing  else — for  long  before 
it  was  known  how  she  was  injured,  or  who  was  the  vic 
tim,  no  one  was  heard  to  inquire,  "Is  she  hurt?  " — "  Will 
she  die  f  "  but  voices  in  every  part  of  the  concourse  ex 
claimed  simultaneously,  "She  is  dead!"  And  they 
were  right,  they  bore  nothing  away  but  the  shattered 
cask  from  which  the  priceless  gem  had  been  suddenly 
and  fearfully  riven,  to  be  set  anew  in  the  diadem  of  our 
God. 

Some  twenty  minutes  later  I  was  roused  from  my  first 
slumber  by  the  appalling  annunciation,  '"''Miss  Celia  L. 
is  dead!"  "DEAD?"  "Yes,  she  fell  from  one  of  the 
high  back  seats  and  broke  her  neck!"  "She  is  breath 
ing  yet  and  may  live  some  time  longer,"  interposed  an 
older  and  more  considerate  person.  "Thank  God,  then 
her  neck  is  not  broken,"  was  my  involuntary  response ; 
and  oh  how  earnestly  did  I  pray  that  she  might  live — 
only  live !  But  the  hush  of  death,  that  brooded  over  the 
dense  crowd  that  lined  all  the  pavement  without  being 
able  to  gain  admission,  told  me  at  once  that  there  was 
no  hope.  And  when  I  listened  to  the  heart-rending  en 
treaties  of  the  almost  frantic  mother,  "  only  to  be  allowed 
to  speak  once  more  to  her  child,  and  hold  her  hand  in 
hers,  while  life  should  last,"  I  mentally  resolved  that  no 
effort  of  mine  should  be  spared  to  gratify  her,  if  it  could  be 
done  with  safety  to  life  and  reason ;  or  if  that  might  not 


IT'S  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

be,  to  put  away  all  physical  weakness,  all  personal  feel 
ing,  and  stand  faithfully  there  in  her  place,  to  interpret 
between  the  living  and  the  dead.  I  knew,  indeed,  from 
the  hoarse  and  unnatural  voices  around,  that  mine  could 
not  be  recognized,  but  hoped,  by  announcing  rny  name 
and  suggesting  certain  signals,  to  obtain  some  answer 
to  such  questions  as  I  should  propose.  The  first  glance 
told  me  how  futile  had  been  the  expectation,  how  fatal 
to  the  mother  would  be  the  answer  to  her  prayer,  and  I 
turned  away,  sickened  to  the  very  soul,  that  no  accent 
of  kindness  could  evermore  reach  that  ear,  that  all  effort 
was  useless,  all  sympathy  idle. 

It  had  been  found  necessary  to  station  a  sentinel  at 
the  door,  to  secure  unimpeded  access  and  egress  to  her 
father  and  the  Rev.  Mr.  E,.,  and  on  entering  I  found  a 
woman  who  was  occasionally  using  a  bowl  and  sponge, 

Mrs.  S.  and  another  lady,  Dr.  M and  two  or  three 

older  physicians,  gazing,  with  folded  arms  and  bloodless 
lips,  in  utter  helplessness  on  the  scene  before  them. 

I  knew  instinctively  that  it  was  useless,  yet  compelled 
myself  to  gaze  long  and  earnestly,  and  even  critically, 
on  every  feature,  and  line,  -and  motion,  where  reason,  and 
thought,  and  intellect  were  not,  till  the  eye  absolutely 
refused  to  obey  volition.  It  was  not  the  low  gurgling 
sound  of  the  life-blood  welling  from  the  swollen  and  dis 
torted  lip,  or  the  ghastly  orifice  from  which  oozed  the 
mangled  and  discolored  brain;  nor  yet  the  appalling 
sound  of  those  low  unearthly  moans,  that  could  so  have 
revolted  the  eye  from  a  .form  on  which  it  had  been  wont 
to  dwell  long  and  lovingly.  No,  it  was  not  any  nor  all 
of  these,  it  was  the  conviction  that  it  was  mere  matter, 
living,  breathing,  suffering  matter,  it  is  true,  yet  nothing 
but  matter  that  lay  there  wreathing  and  writhing  in  the 


« 


! 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

agonies  of  dissolution.  And  wild,  indeed,  must  have 
been  the  fancy  that  could  trace,  in  those  spasmodic 
throes  of  expiring  nature,  the  voluntary  and  sentient  ex 
hibition  of  feeling  and  consciousness,  yet  to  make  assur 
ance  doubly  sure,  I  remarked  to  one  of  the  more  experi 
enced  surgeons  and  physicians,  "There  is  no  hope?" 
"None  whatever!"  "Can  it  be  possible  that  she  is  in 
the  least  degree  conscious?"  "Utterly  impossible! 
The  nerve  of  sensation  icas  instantly  destroyed — she 
has  known  nothing — could  know  nothing  since! "  And 
yet  there  are  not  wanting  some,  (less  conspicuous  for 
close  personal  observation,  sound  sense,  and  unwavering 
veracity,  than  the  vulgar  ambition  of  relating  what  no 
one  else  has  heard,)  who  would  fain  persuade  Mrs.  L. 
that  her  daughter  "  was  perfectly  rational  to  the  last;" 
and,  of  course,  painfully  conscious,  that  no  mother's 
hand  was  there  to  smooth  her  dying  pillow,  no  sister's 
voice  to  soothe  her  parting  spirit.  But  do  not  you  suf 
fer  any  snch  absurd  vagary  to  disturb  you  a  moment — • 
why  even  little  Emily  S.  knows  better.  "JVb,  Mrs.  L." 
(says  she,)  iithat  she  NEVER  spoke"  and  her  mother 
claims  to  have  used  something  very  like  the  expressions 
in  question. 

You  ask  for  the  funeral  next  and  a  description  of  her 
grave.  The  cemetery  now  in  use,  is  a  mile  or  more 
from  the  central  portion  of  town,  and  sickness,  either  of 
ourselves  or  others,  has  as  yet  prevented  Mrs.  L.  and  her 
daughter,  as  well  as  myself,  from  visiting  the  spot.  But 
Rev.  Mr.  R,.,  (her  dearest  and  most  intimate  friend,  who, 

in  connection  with  Dr.  M ,  selected  the  spot,)  tells 

us — "We  have  put  her  away  in  a  lovely  grove,  there  to 
await  the  summons  of  Him  who  is  "the  resurrection 
and  the  life! "  He  delivered,  in  the  parlor  of  the  hotel, 


•4 
180  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

not  a  regular  sermon,  but  a  most  eloquent  and  appro 
priate  discourse  from  Eccl.,  xii,  1st  and  7th  inclusive — 
sung  by  himself,  her  favorite,  "I  would  not  live  al- 
way,"  and  was  joined  by  as  many  of  the  congregation 
as  were  able  to  assist,  in  "Life  is  a  span,  a  fleeting 
hour,"  a  hymn  which  either  was,  or  was  supposed  to 
be,  the  one  which  had  impressed  her  so  peculiarly  on 
the  preceding  Sunday  evening. 

Perhaps  you  would  like  to  know-how  we  prepared  her 
body  for  the  grave.  At  the  suggestion  of  Mr.  B,.,  and 
in  accordance  with  the  not  inappropriate  custom  which 
marks  the  distinction  between  matron  and  maid,  her 
coffin  was  covered  with  white  satin,  but  put  on  perfectly 
plain  and  neat,  just  as  she  would  have  had  it ;.  her  form 
was  arrayed,  (by  her  mother's  request,)  in  a  simple  Swiss 
mull,  in  which  I  had  once  before  attired  her,  to  grace  the 
wedding  festivities  of  a  wealthy  and  fashionable  bride, 
numbered,  still  more  recently  than  herself,  with  "the 
pale  nations  of  the  dead."  Her  head  was  slightly  in 
clined  on  the  pillow,  and  the  winding  sheet  and  muslin 
shade  draped  so  as  to  conceal  as  much  as  possible  the 
disfigured  side  of  her  face,  and  over  all  were  scattered  a 
few  pale  flowers,  (yon  know  how  well  she  loved  them,) 
typical  of  youth,  innocence,  hope,  and  immortality.  A 
few  pieces  of  Arbor  Yitse  were  removed  before  closing 
down  the  lid ;  they  now  mark  in  Tier  book  the  hymns 
sung  on  the  occasion,  and  will  be  retained  in  their  place, 
by  a  slip  of  ribbon  left  from  the  decorations  of  her  "nar 
row  house,"  until  the  arrival  of  Mr.  P. 

And  now  my  young  friend,  for  are  we  not  friends  in 
a  common  sorrow,  let  it  not  grieve  you  that  your  beloved 
Cecilia  died,  comparatively  speaking,  among  strangers ; 
strangers  perhaps  as  incompetent  to  appreciate  her  worth 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  181 

as  unable  to  excite  a  similar  appreciation  in  return.  Be 
lieve  me,  it  is  not  so !  In  this  lite  the  "  wheat  and  the 
tares  "  ever  grow  together,  and  here  the  weeds  may  pre 
dominate,  and  the  elements  of  society  be  unusually  slow 
to  recognize  their  affinities,  but  she  had  begun  to  feel 
that  they  were  amalgamating,  and  that  there  were  some, 
even  here,  whom  she  would  gladly  include  in  her  list  of 
friends,  no  matter  where  her  lot  might  in  future  be 
cast.  And  for  herself,  to  you  who  knew  her  well,  I  need 
not  say  how  ready  she  was,  "to  spend  and  be  spent"  in 
the  service  of  God  and  man,  so  somebody  would  only 
take  the  eclat  off  her  hands.  But  she  could  not  always 
"do  good  by  stealth,"  and  pass  undetected;  and  the 
deep  and -solemn  stillness  which  pervaded  all  our  streets 
on  that  melancholy  day,  when  the  stern  mandate,  "dust 
to  dust,  ashes  to  ashes"  was  executed  in  our  midst,  and 
the  frequent  and  unmistakable  manifestations  of  sympa 
thy  which  continue  to  follow  and  surround  the  afflicted 
family,  tell  how  strong  was  the  lien  she  had  made  to 
herself,  in  a  few  short  months,  on  the  respect  and  af 
fections  of  an  apparently  callous  and  reckless  commu 
nity. 

Since  my  arrival,  in  January  last,  I  have  been  domes 
ticated  with  her  for  weeks  in  succession,  and  it  has  been 
rny  happiness  to  enjoy,  notwithstanding  the  disparity  of 
years,  (for  she  was  nearly  young  enough  to  have  been 
my  daughter,)  as  much  perhaps  of  her  society  and  friend 
ship  as  was  given  to  any  lady  of  the  place;  and  never 
before  in  my  whole  life  have  I  witnessed  such  another 
example  as  hers.  Not  the  first  look,  or  word,  or  deed, 
can  I  now  recall,  which  I  could  wish  to  forget,  had  each 
individual  day  been  her  last.  Why  were  we  not  fore 
warned  ?  Why  did  we  dread  for  her  the  insidious  ap- 


182  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  " 

proach  of  consumption  ?  We  did  see  that  "  all  her  duties 
were  fulfilled,"  we  should  have  felt — to  quote  again 
from  her  own  expression — that  her  "destiny  was  accom 
plished!" 

With  the  bereaved  father,  mother,  brother,  sister,  and 
friends,  there  are  many,  very  many,  to  sympathize ;  but 
with  "the  widowed,  though  unwed,"  there  are  fewer  it 
is  to  be  hoped  who  can  feel  in  unison.  Still  there  is 
one,  at  least,  among  us  who  knows  that  "light  and  a 
joy  from  this  earth  have  passed,  that  shall  never  no 
never  return  to  him  again,"  who  feels  how  lone  and 
dreary  must  be  -the  residue  of  his  pilgrimage  to  that 
land  "  where  lovely  things  and  sweet  pass  not  away." 

Mr.  L.  will  write  to  him  in  a  few  days,  and  Mrs.  L. 
has  already  set  apart  for  his  use  every  article  of  her 
daughter's  which  he  may  wish  to  retain.  Some  others, 
including  a  lock  of  soft  dark  hair,  will  also  be  forwarded 
to  yourself,  unless  you  can  be  induced  to  come  on  with 
Mr.  P.  Aside  from  the  personal  regard  which  would 
at  all  times  ensure  you  a  cordial  reception,  the  knowl 
edge  of  your  warm  and  long  cherished  attachment  to 
her  daughter,  will  now  make  you  a  thrice  welcome  guest 
on  the  darkened  hearth  of  the  mother.  At  her  request 
I  forward  you  some  lines,  intended  solely  for  the  family 
pale,  but  t  rut  I'f idness  being  their  chief  if  not  only  merit, 
you  will  please  consider  them  an  evidence  of  deep  re 
spect  and -implicit  confidence  on  the  part  of  your  un 
known  but  sympathizing 

Friend, 

LOUISE. 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

TO  CECILIA  IN  HEAVEN. 

"  "Whom  the  Gods  love  die  young." 

No  stranger  hand  should  sweep  the  lyre, 

No  wreath  but  friendship's  round  thee  twine, 

No  colder  heart  should  e'er  aspire, 

To  link  its  thought,  or  name,  with  thine. 

%         -< 
The  guileless  spirit  turned  to  thee, 

The  passion-tossed,  the  tempest-tried ; 
The  wand'rer  on  life's  stormy  sea, 

In  trust,  unbaffled,  sought  thy  side. 

For  thou,  while  in  the  world,  wert  not 
Of  those  who  loved  its  changeling  form ; 

And  blessed  art  thou,  that  thy  lot 
Is  cast,  beyond  its  smile  and  storm. 

No  sorrowing  for  the  loved  ones  here 
Hung  heavy  on  thy  spirit's  flight; 

No  parting  pang,  no  mortal  fear, 

Earth's  shadow  cast  on  heavenly  light. 

"We  know  that  thou  hast  passed  to  lands, 

Fairer  than  all  that  wooed  thy  stay ; 
Yet  who  that  treads  life's  burning  sands, 
Exults  for  streams,  far  far  away  ?" 

The  parent  stem  for  thee  must  pine, 
Another  mourn  life's  vision  fled ; 
"Earth  had  no  love  for  him  like  thine, 
And  that,  and  thou,  are  with  the  dead." 


184:  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

A  voice  of  wail  goes  up  to  heaven, 
Earth's  sod  is  wet  with  many  tears ; 

God  stay  the  stem  so  sorely  riven ! 
God  shield  the  loved  of  woman's  years ! 


LETTER  XVI. 

TO  AN  UNFORTUNATE  AND  MISGUIDED  FRIEND, 
Inserted  in  the  vague  hope  that  it  may  yet  reach  one, 
beguiled  into  a  mesalliance  of  very  doubtful  legali 
ty,  while  in,  (or  near,)  the  state  described  by  the  old 
Scottish  phrase,  "A  bee  in  the  bonnet" 

,  Louisiana,  1850. 

MY  OLD  AND  DEAR  FRIEND  : 

IT  is  long,  very  long,  since  you  and  I  have  had  any 
direct  intercourse,  and  much  easier  to  sever  than  reunite 
the  chain  of  a  broken  correspondence,  where  the  address 
is  so  precarious  as  ours ;  but  I  know  you  will  gladly  over 
look  some  trifling  annoyances,  to  hear  once  more  the 
accents  of  kindness  and  affection  from  a  friend  of  your 
youth. 

After  repeated  inquiries  I  have  at  length  learned 
where  you  were  at  "the  last  advices,"  and  that  you  "left 
under  circumstances  too  painful  and  humiliating  for  the 
writer  to  disclose  or  me  to  learn;"  but  recollecting  one 
of  our  later  conversations,  can  readily  divine  that  after 
your  cousin  Jane's  decease,  the  house  of  her  husband 
became  a  perfect  Pandemonium  to  you,  till  wrongs, 
insults,  and  indignities  without  name  or  redress  drove 
you  at  last  to  desperation.  For  "desperation,"  indeed, 


LETTERS    AND   MISCELLANIES.  185 

it  is,  my  dear  Aline,  for  weak,  powerless  woman  to 
rebel,  in  the  smallest  iota,  against  the  conventionalities 
established  for  her  perpetual  subjugation ;  and  well  is  it 
for  her,  that  there  is  ONE  TRIBUNAL  still  to  which  she  can 
appeal  from  the  injustice  of  man's  dominion,  ONE  BAK 
where  the  servant  is  free  from  his  master,  and  the  op 
pressor  held  responsible  as  well  as  his  victim. 

You,  my  dear  unfortunate  friend,  were  incapable  of 
reflecting  calmly  upon  this  or  any  other  subject,  when, 
in  the  madness  of  passion  or  frenzy  of  despair,  you  de 
scended  from  your  station  in  life  and  wedded  your  fate 
to  the  Prof,  of  Animal  Magnetism,  said  to  have  gained 
such  "  complete  MESMERIC  CONTROL  over  you  "  in  a  cham 
ber  of  sickness  which  you  could  not  with  propriety  shun. 
If  this  were  so,  you  certainly  were  not  a  free  moral  agent, 
and  ought  not  to  be  held  responsible  as  such,  though  the 
cold,  carping,  busy  world  has  no  time  for  such  nice  dis 
criminations  between  the  "sinned  against"  and  the  sin 
ning.  But  oh,  these  "  sir  owls  "  that  sit  in  the  arcana  of 
science,  and  slumber  and  sneer  on  the  confines  of  a 
mighty  mystery,  why,  why  will  they  not  arouse  to  inves 
tigate  and  define  the  laws  that  govern  this  subtle  agency  ? 
If  a  half-crazy  philosophy  has  caught  the  inkling  of  a 
magnificent  truth,  and  diffused  it  through  a  world  of 
chimera,  it  surely  is  not  the  part  of  wisdom  to  leave  it 
there  in  sole  possession  of  visionaries  and  charlatans. 

Your  companion  is,  it  seems,  one  of  its  professed  ex 
ponents,  but  as  I  make  no  inuendo  insinuations  and 
mean  no  unprovoked  and  useless  outrage  on  his  feelings, 
or  wanton  insult  to  your  own,  you,  at  least,  must  excuse 
my  seeming — remember  it  is  only  seeming — cruelty  in 
saying,  that  I  too  think  it  just  possible,  (under  existing 
circumstances,)  that  you  may  not  be  his  lawful  wife. 


186  LETTEKS    AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Forgive,  forgive,  I  know  how  deeply  I  wound,  and  would 
to  God  I  could  present  these  unpalatable  truths  in  a  less 
painful  light ;  but  as  sure  as  there  are  immortal  interests 
at  stake,  I  almost  hope  you  are  not,  though  otherwise,  I 
know  that  not  the  purity  of  an  angel  of  light  could  shield 
you  from  the  imputation  of  occupying  what  all  men,  with 
a  scarce  repressed  sneer,  would  call  "a  not  very  equivo 
cal  position"  while  all  women  would  cry  "amen," 
though  less  perhaps  from  innate  conviction  than  the 
selfish,  ignoble  instinct  of  self-preservation.  I  say  all 
women,  because  the  few  who  would  dare,  (or  care,)  to  be 
just,  are  seldom  in  a  position  to  make  their  remon 
strance  felt. 

But  when  this  mental  hallucination  shall  have  passed 
away,  and  this  mystic  influence  have  exhausted  its 
power,  as  soon  or  late  it  most  surely  will,  and  old  habits 
of  life  and  modes  of  thought  begin  to  resume  their  ac 
customed  sway,  then  your  proud,  sensitive  spirit  will 
chafe  ulike  'a  lion  in  the  toils,"  and  this  is  one  reason 
why  I  hope  you  are  not  bound  for  life  to  one,  who, 
in  the  pride  of  human  intellect,  has,  I  am  told,  taught 
you  to  deride  your  Maker,  and  scoff  at  the  name  of  your 
Redeemer. 

Oh  Aline!  Aline !  can  this  be  so?  Alas,  I  fear  it 
may;  for  am  not  I,  too,  guilty,  most  guilty  of  having, 
in  days  that  are  past,  fostered  your  incipient  doubts  by 
so  freely  expressing  my  own.  I  was  older  than  your 
self  and  should  have  reflected  oftener  than  I  did,  that  if 
there  were  no  reality  there  could  be  no  counterfeit. 
And  yet  it  was  never  the  occasional  aberrations  insepar 
able  from  human  weakness,  nor  even  the  impious  and 
systematic  hypocrisy  exhibited  in  "the  high  places  of 
the  sanctuary,  that  made  me  once  doubt  what  religion 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  187 

was,  half  so  much  as  the  preposterous  and  abstruse 
metaphysics,  "crammed  into  my  youthful  ears  against 
the  stomach  of  my  sense."  It  is  much  to  be  regretted, 
that  some  zealous  modern  religionists  should  labor  so 
hard  to  supersede  the  Apostolic  definition  of  that  reli 
gion  which  is  "pure  and  undefiled  before  God  and  the 
Father ; "  however,  you  will  learn  my  sentiments  on  that 
head  from  the  inclosed  soliloquy.*  True,  you  may  not 
think  it  either  learned,  poetic,  or  wise ;  but  you  and  I 
are  not  wise,  Aline,  at  least  I  am  not,  and  I  have  no 
present  so  do  not  destroy  my  future.  Life  has  to  me 
been  a  weary  warfare;  after  suffering  and  toil  there 
must  needs  be  repose,  and  where  else  can  we  moor  our 
shattered,  tempest-tossed  barks  more  securely  than  on 
the  Rock  of  Ages?  "Man  must  have  some  belief" 
says  the  melancholy  but  gifted  priest  of  Apis,  so  I  say, 
with  the  dying  mother  to  her  noble  but  misguided  son, 
"CHARLES,  CHARLES!  give  me  back  my  FAITH — give  me 
back  my  hope  of  heaven!" 

You  too  need  higher  consolation  than  earth  has  to 
impart;  for  I  know  that  you  have  suffered — that  you 
are  wretched !  The  delirium,  or  the  torpor  of  excitement 
cannot  last  forever;  the  reaction,  with  its  "after  hour 
of  gloom,"  must  come,  and  the  bitter  pang  of  self- 
reproach,  or  distrust,  mingle  with  the  sad,  sad  tears  that 
fall  over  the  blight  of  your  early  promise.  May  God 
and  you  forgive  me  for  having  left  you  to  struggle  alone 
against  such  talents  and  influence  as  were  combined  for 
the  subversion  of  your  faith  in  all  moral  excellence! 
The  atrocious  and  unnatural  villain !  I  can  scarce  say, 
God  forgive  Mm;  for  this  is  his  work — his!  He  took 

*  Piece  entitled,  "What  is  Truth." 


188  LETTEBS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

you,  a  young,  sinless  child,  generous,  noble,  high-minded 
and  pure;  and  what  has  he  made  you  now?  Whom 
did  he,  "in  the  livery  of  heaven,"  make  his  own  inti 
mate  friends  and  associates  of  one  who  should  have  been 
dear  unto  him  as  a  daughter,  but  men  infamous  for  their 
conjugal  infidelities,  and  open  and  avowed  infidels,  who 
could  shamelessly  congratulate  themselves  in  her  pres 
ence;  that  "such  talents  as  his  would  not  long  submit 
to  the  FLUMMERY  of  pretending  to  believe  in  Chris 
tianity  ? "  Yes  he  it  is — none  so  much  as  he — who  is 
guilty,  guilty  before  God  of  your  moral  degradation ! 

Forgive  me  if  I  did,  or  do,  either  of  your  parents  injus 
tice  even  in  thought;  but  I  should  have  advised  you  to 
confide  in  your  mother,  had  I  not  known  one  woman, 
who  would  have  been  a  mocking  fiend  instead  of  a  faith 
ful  friend  or  judicious  counselor  on  such  an  occasion, 
and  feared  that  you  might  know  such  another.  And 
besides,  I  hoped  that  a  happy  and  honorable  marriage 
would  soon  extricate  you  from  a  position  of  such  pecu 
liar  delicacy  and  peril,  without  hazarding  the  frail  ten 
ure  of  kindred  and  domestic  peace.  But  I  was  wrong, 
all  wrong;  yet  what  has  the  world  done  for  us,  that  we 
should  cling  to  it  so  fondly  and  wish  to  consider  it  the 
ultimatum  of  our  existence  \ 

You  and  I  had  beauty,  Aline,  (and  you  may  hare  it 
still,)  but  for  want  of  the  golden  setting  it  availed  us 
not.  We  had  also  talent — so  at  least  the  world  was 
pleased  to  say — well,  that  too  was  useless.  It  did  not 
suffice  to  break  the  chain  that  bound  us  to  an  evil  des 
tiny,  worse  than  useless ;  for  by  enabling  us  "to  see  all 
others'  faults  and  feel  our  own,"  it  eminently  unfitted 
us  for  plodding  with  becoming  zest  through  the  tread 
mill-pace  of  our  every-day  life  of  weary  toil,  or  more 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  189 

galling  dependence,  while  the  "sickness  of  hope  de 
ferred  "  wasted  away  the  first  freshness  of  our  youth  in 
vain  yearnings  for  a  freedom  and  independence  that 
might  never  be  ours.  But  is  not  this  intense,  restless 
longing  for  something  higher  and  better  than  earth  has 
to  impart — this  daring  contumacity  which  refuses  to 
swallow  all  sorts  of  paradoxical  creeds,  without  having 
the  presumption  to  think  of  understanding  them,  "an 
undying  evidence  that  there  is  divinity  within  us  that 
will  not  be  forever  'cabined,  cribbed,  confined,'  or  re 
solved  again  into  the  material  elements  like  the  frail 
tenement  in  which  it  is  enshrined  ? "  Yes,  yes,  it  must 
be  so — I  feel  that  I  am  immortal,  that  I  have  an  expansive, 
never-dying  intellect ;  and  never,  never,  be  it  said  of  us, 

"  That  we  were  born 

Taller  than  we  might  walk  beneath  the  stars, 
And  with  a  spirit,  tempered  like  a  god's, 
Were  sent  forth  blindfold  on  a  path  of  light, 
And  turned  aside,  and  perished ;" 

for  oh,  "how  poor  is  the  rich  gift  of  genius,"  if  it  servo 
only  to  light  us  to  perdition. 

You  do  not  know  how  deeply  I  grieve  over  whatever 
may  have  been  your  errors  or  your  wrongs ;  Agnes,  too, 
mourns  over  you  as  a  sister  lost — speaks  most  gratefully 
of  your  kindness  to  her  in  the  hour  of  sickness  and  sor 
row — tells  of  your  unwearied  devotion  to  the  children 
of  your  cousin  Jane,  (she  was  always  good  and  kind  to 
the  last,  and  much  more  like  a  relative  than  her  hus 
band,  was  she  not  ? )  and  I  do  hope  you  may  yet  meet 
a  reward  even  in  this  life!  If  not,  "there  is  a  land,  I 
name  not  here,  where  we  may  meet  again ; "  and  may 
"peace,  the  peace  of  God  that  passeth  all  understand 
ing,"  yet  enter  into  your  soul,  and  keep  your  heart  and 
mind  in  perfect  peace." 
16 


190  LETTEES  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

But  I  have  not  done;  should  a  time  ever  come  when 
even  you  can  struggle  no  longer  against  the  conviction 
that  your  present  connection  is  one  which  it  is  right  and 
proper  to  abandon,  it  is  quite  possible  that  the  father, 
who  it  seems  has  not  interposed  for  your  protection 
hitherto,  may  then  close  his  doors  too,  against  his  err 
ing  and  unfortunate  child,  more  especially  if  he  have 
other  daughters  still  under  his  roof.  Excuse  me  if  I 
speak  too  plainly,  I  mean  not  to  wound  but  to  heal,  and 
what  I  would  say  is  this :  Should  that  time  find  me 
possessed  of  a  home  where  there  was  none  to  overrule  my 
will,  that  home  should  be  your  refuge  against  "  the  strife 
of  evil  tongues,"  if  you  choose  to  accept  it.  But  alas ! 
this  is  a  visionary  hope,  for  there  is  far  more  prospect  of 
my  arriving  speedily  at  "  the  house  appointed  for  all  the 
living,"  than  to  any  other  of  my  own.  Teaching  is 
so  perfectly  suicidal  to  me,  that  for  every  year  that  I 
serve  it  takes  me  at  least  two  to  recruit ;  of  course  I  am 
always  sick  and  always  poor.  Now  I  am  hopelessly  in 
valided,  and  my  LITERARY  and  last  resort  is  all  untried 
as  yet ;  but  my  kindest  wishes  and  fervent  prayers  are 
yours,  and  the  best  counsel  and  most  efficient  aid  in 
my  power  to  bestow,  shall  also  be  at  your  service  when 
ever  you  think  proper  to  claim  them.  If  the  world 
were  more  truly  virtuous  it  could  better  afford  to  be  a 
little  less  censorious;  but  should  its  cold  suspicious 
wisdom  judge  me  harshly  and  unjustly  for  this,  some 
gentle  one  has  already  prepared  a  most  beautiful  and 
appropriate  reply : 

"  Think  gently  of  the  erring, 

Te  know  not  of  the  power, 
With  which  the  dark  temptation  came 
In  some  unguarded  hour. 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  191 

Ye  may  not  know  how  earnestly 

They  struggled,  or  how  well, 
Until  the  hour  of  weakness  came, 

And  sadly  thus  they  fell. 

"  Think  gently  of  the  erring, 

Oh  do  not  thou  forget, 
However  darkly  stained  by  sin, 

He  is  thy  brother  yet. 
Heir  of  the  self-same  heritage, 

Child  of  the  self  same  Godj 
He  hath  but  stumbled  on  the  path 

Thou  hast  in  weakness  trod ! 

"Speak  gently  to  the  erring, 

For  is  it  not  enough 
That  innocence  and  peace  are  gone, 

Without  thy  censure  rough? 
It  sure  must  be  aweary  lot, 

That  sin-crushed  heart  to  bear; 
And  they  who  share  a  happier  fate, 

Their  eludings  well  may  spare. 

"  Speak  gently  to  the  erring, 

Thou  yet  mayst  lead  them  back, 
With  holy  words  and  tones' of  love, 

From  misery's  thorny  track. 
Forget  not  thou  hast  often  sinned, 

And  sinful  yet  must  be ; 
Deal  gently  with  the  erring  one, 
As  God  hath  dealt  with  thee ! " 

It  is  not  well  to  outrage  wantonly  or  needlessly  a 
single  prescription  of  the  world — it  is  very  far  from  well 
to  suffer  the  weak,  cowardly  fear  of  its  censure  to  deter 
one  from  so  obvious  a  duty  as  the  effort  to  "save  a  soul 
from  death,"  and  to  those  who  think  and  act  differently, 
I  would  merely  say,  "  let  him  that  thinketh  he  standeth 
take  heed  lest  he  fall!'* 

I  expect  to  leave  soon,  and  my  future  address  is  un- 


192  LETTEKS    AND   MISCELLANIES. 

certain ;  but  you  can  inclose,  (for  you  will  write,  will 
you  not?)  to  Dr.*  *  *,  of  this  place,  and  he  will  redirect 
and  forward  wherever  it  may  he  necessary. 

Your  sincere  and  sorrowing  friend, 

LOUISE. 

LINES  SUGGESTED   BY  AN  OLD  PRINT; 

In  which  a,  faded  beauty  catches  unexpectedly  the  re 
flection  from  a  mirror,  while  looking  over  poetic 
and  other  mementoes  of  l>y-gone  days. 

AND  can  it  be  this  faded  brow 

"Was  once  a  shrine  of  beauty  rare  ? 
That  round  this  sunken  cheek,  there  waved 

Such  wealth  of  "silken  chestnut  hair," 
That  poets  vowed  "  earth  had  not  seen 

A  face,  or  form,  more  passing  fair;" 
And  matrons  cried,  "that  hand,  I  ween, 

Time  may  not  set  his  impress  there: — •" 

And  wits  averred  "the  matchless  shrine 
+  JScarce  worthy  of  the  gem  within ;" 
And  the  frail  mortal  deemed  "divine" 

(God  knows  it  was  a  grievous  sin.) 
Yet  manhood's  voice  indorsed  the  line, 

And  youth,  and  age,  declared  it  sooth ; 
And  lovers  knelt  their  life  to  tine 

In  worship  of  "  the  spirit's  truth  \  " 

The  fragile  cask  is  shattered  now, 
The  living  pearl  within  grown  dim; 

Poet  and  lover  ceased  to  vow — • 
In  heaven  they  peal  a  loftier  hymn. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  193 

And  I  can  scan  my  altered  brow, 
Nor  mourn  its  parted,  wasted  sheen  ; 

Ages  of  bitter  mem'ries  roll 

Me  and  its  primal  light  between. 

River,  and  lake,  and  Alpine  snows 

Hide  all  of  earth  my  soul  could  crave ; 
And  there,  in  dreams,  my  spirit  goes — • 

Each  spot  'tis  hallowed  by  a  grave ! 
And  yet  their  shadow  may  not  blight 

All  of  earth's  lonely,  farewell  strand  ; 
Life  is  not  all  a  blank,  while  light 

From  heaven  illumes  its  ebbing  sand. 

September,  1850. 


LETTER   XVII. 

TO  A  YOUNG  LAWYER  IN  WASHINGTON. 
Treatise  on  Law,  Morals  and  Politics^ 

Caddo  Pa.,  La.,  Jan.  1, 1851. 
MY  DEAR — 

I  suppose  I  must  not  say,  my  little  cousin,  though  I 
can  scarce  realize  that  the  urchin  whom  I  left  some 
fifteen  years  since  is  now  a  man,  in  stature  and  intellect. 
But  what  have  you  been  doing,  I  should  like  to  know, 
more  than  "  elevating  the  ancient  Henry"  after  the  most 
approved  fashion  for  modern  youngsters,  that  your  loving 
and  judicious  sister  should  invoke  the  contents  of  my 
ink-bottle  for  your  unsuspecting  head  ?  Nothing  worse, 
I  hope,  than  evincing  a  stronger  predilection  for  political 


194  LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

life  than  she  thinks  expedient  for  you  to  indulge  under 
existing  circumstances  ;  but  if  I  am  to  be  privy  counsel, 
and  lecturer-general,  it  is  proper  I  should  be  advised  of 
the  precise  nature  of  your  peccadilloes,  you  know. 

And,  seriously,  dear  Clarence,  there  may  be  some 
thing  more  than  woman's  caprice  under  your  sister's 
apprehensions  ;  for,  indeed,  I  scarce  know,  myself,  whe 
ther  to  regret  or  rejoice  at  your  success,  out  of  the  im 
mediate  line  of  your  profession.  That  profession,  it  is 
fair  to  presume,  was  one  of  your  own  voluntary  choice ; 
it  is,  at  least,  an  honorable  one,  despite  the  "quips  and 
quirks,  and  paper  bullets  of  the  brain,"  launched  against 
it  from  time  immemorial:  thanks  to  its  mere  fungi,  or 
parasitic  excrescences,  whose  highest  ambition  is  to  "live 
of  the  law,"  by  torturing  the  body  till  they  wrest  it  from 
the  soul.  May  YOU  never  forget  that  the  end  of  ike  law 
is  the  administration  of  justice ;  and  ever  remember 
that  no  man  can  truly  elevate  himself  without  enno 
bling,  instead  of  debasing  by  the  leprosy  of  his  own 
meanness,  any  profession  that  he  calls  his  own ! 

Law,  however,  is  said  to  be  a  jealous  mistress,  and, 
if  so,  can  hardly  be  expected  to  tolerate  a  rival  who  will 
inevitably  engross  much  of  your  attention,  and  scarce 
find  your  most  untiring  devotion  at  all  commensurate 
with  her  own  mighty  exactions.  I  speak  of  politics,  in 
the  legitimate  and  nobler  sense,  not  of  the  mushroom, 
long-tongued  spurise,  indigenous  to  bar-rooms,  debating- 
clubs,  town-meetings,  and  other  institutions  for  culti 
vating  the  gift  of  the  gab,  which  ought,  like  sewing 
societies,  to  be  indicted  for  public  nuisances ;  though 
even  this  vapid,  shameless  brazen-face  has  often — much 
oftener,  no  doubt,  than  the  real  Simon  Pure — proved 
fatal  to  the  prospects  of  many  a  "  rising  young  man," 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  195 

whose  hopes  once  pointed  to  a  far  different  goal.  But 
it  cannot  be  this  impudent  "Ne'er-do-weel"  that  has 
ensnared  your  "youthful  fancy:  "  no,  I  hope  and  expect 
better  things  of  you ;  and  know,  too,  something  of  the 
obstacles  that  repel,  of  the  contretemps  which  beset  each 
avenue  to  legal  distinction,  while  the  youthful  aspirant 
is  struggling  against  fearful  odds  for  a  place  side  by 
side  with  the  master-spirits  of  his  order — something 
what  it  is  to  run  the  gauntlet,  in  a  city  like  yours, 
among  those  less  incumbered,  perhaps,  than  yourself, 
with  the  independent  spirit,  morbid  sensibility,  and  in 
adequate  fortunes  of  an  old  but  impoverished  race. 
But  it  is  the  first  step  that  costs ;  and  you,  it  is  said, 
have  achieved,  much  earlier  than  usual,  the  reputation 
of  being  "a  very  promising  young  lawyer;"  so  now, 
if  you  have  only  the  energy  and  ability  to  maintain  the 
race,  equibus  passibus,  the  rest  will  be  comparatively 
easy :  if  you  have  not,  Heaven  help  you  ;  for  what  and 
where  are  your  qualifications  for  a  statesman  ? 

And  further,  your  reception  and  subsequent  success 
at  the  bar  may  have  been  flattering ;  but  your  position 
can  hardly  be  so  assured  as  yet  that  you  could  hope  to 
resume  it  some  time  in  the  indefinite  future,  without 
going  all  over  the  same  or  a  worse  ground — and  that 
you  would  hardly  fancy — should  experience  demonstrate 
your  own  unfitness  for  a  high  political  career.  But  the 
misfortune  of  it  is,  so  few  ever  do  discover  their  own 
unfitness,  though  it  may  be  palpable  as  day  to  others ; 
for  the  thick  veil  of  self-delusion  obstructs  the  percep 
tion,  and  the  "iron  gyves"  of  habit  bind  them  so  fast 
to  an  accustomed  sphere,  that  they  linger  on,  on,  in  the 
protracted  agonies  of  hope  deferred,  till  they  sink  at 
last — with  tempers  and  feelings  soured  and  imbittered 


196  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

by  the  secret  goadings  of  a  restless  and  insatiate  ambi 
tion,  and  the  galling  consciousness  of  unappreciated, 
because  misapplied,  talent — into  the  sniveling,  sneer 
ing,  querulous  misanthrope,  or  more  despisable  hack 
of  "  the  little  great,"  whom  neither  "  gods  nor  men 
endure ! " 

I  speak  feelingly  of  the  despotism  of  habit,  for  has  it 
not  bound  me,  for  years,  to  a  calling  from  which  I  recoil 
with  an  aversion  no  tongue  can  describe,  by  the  simple 
process  of  making  it  all  but  impossible  for  those  who 
might  otherwise  have  broken  my  chain,  to  think  of  me, 
or  for  me,  except  in  connection  with  that  avocation  ? 
And  you^know,  I  suppose,  why  the  paralytic  of  old  be 
held,  when  the  waters  were  troubled,  others  stepping 
down  before  him.  May  I  not,  then,  with  reason,  depre 
cate  the  possibility  of  seeing  those  fatal  though  impal 
pable  links  slowly  but  surely  encircling  your  whole 
moral  nature,  while  you  know  so  little,  and  I  so  well, 
"  how  hard  that  chain  will  press  at  last ! "  And  God 
defend  and  preserve  you,  and  all  I  hold  dear,  from  ever 
degenerating  into  that  fag-end  of  all  contemptibility,  a 
mean,  cringing,  supple-kneed,  time-serving  sycophant 
and  demagogue !  Thus  far,  no  such  venomous  dragon's 
tooth  has  ever  yet  desecrated  the  family  name  by  his 
own  unmitigated  infamy,  or  infused  the  gangrene  of  his 
viperous  baseness  into  the  blood  of  our  race;  and 
'k  Heaven  forefend"  that  any  of  its  future  representa 
tives  should  ever  have  cause  to  blush  for  so  foul  a  stain 
on  the  honor  of  their  forefathers  ! 

Not  that  I  care,  though,  very  particularly  about  those 
any  longer  before  than  our  own  immediate  progenitors. 
The  solemn,  conceited  prigs !  What  right  had  they  to  fold 
the  mantle  of  their  olden  dignity  so  calmly  around  them, 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  197 

and  sit  quietly  down  in  the  selfish  enjoyment  of  hered 
itary  independence,  and  make  no  provision  for  the  future  ? 
None;  so,  as  for  the  more  remote  ancestry,  his  royal 
and  gracious  majesty,  the  First  Charles,  might  have  had 
my  full  and  free  permission  to  "compliment"  every 
soul  of  them  with  the  ax !  *  This  may  sound  rather 
harsh;  but  why  should  posterity  care  for  those  who 
cared  never  for  them,  or  aught"  else  save  their  own 
ease,  since  the  very  memorable,  "never-to-be-forgot 
ten"  (much  to  be  regretted,)  "day,"  "when  that  stalwart 
band  of  hard-headed,  half  crazy,  self-righteous  fanatics, 
poetically  styled  the  "commonwealth  of  kings,"  squatted 
themselves  down  on  Plymouth  Rock  one  bitter  cold 
morning,  with  the  godly  intent  of  praying  and  shooting 
Indians  just  whenever  they  thought  proper  ? 

Now,  had  they  been  men  of  shallow,  common-place 
minds,  instead  of  being  what  tradition  says  they  were, 
such  a  course  of  procedure  would  not  have  been  so  very 
surprising.  But  you  know — or,  more  likely,  you  don't 

know — that  the  late  Mr.  S (himself  a  man  of  no 

mean  talents  or  attainments),  used  to  say  of  our  grand 
father  even,  that  he  never  felt  himself  "so  completely 
overawed,  and  so  much  like  a  pigmy  in  the  hands  of  a 
giant,"  as  when  coming  in  contact  with  "his  intellectual 
powers ; "  yet  he,  I  think,  never  considered  himself,  or 
was  considered,  the  equal  of  his  father  and  elder  brother. 
But  what  were  he  and  they,  and  all  the  "  mute,  inglorious 
Hampdens"  the  world  ever  saw,  good  for,  I  should  like 
to  know?  If  he  never  "said  a  foolish  thing,"  I  am 
sure  he  never  "  did  a  wise  one,"  unless  his  giving  the 

*Vide  Sir  Robert  "Walpole :  "He  deserves  the  halter  for  running  Lis 
goose's  neck  into  such  a  noose  ;  but,  in  respect  to  his  noble  blood,  I 
suppose  we  must  compliment  him  with  the  ax." 

17 


198  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

five-and -twenty  legacies  left  his  country  in  the  shape 
of  children  and  grandchildren — and  for  which  I  don't 
see  that  that  same  country  is  at  all  the  wiser,  richer,  or 
happier,  or  any  way  specially  bound  to  be  grateful — 
some  little  chance  for  good  old  Milesian  blood  and 
mother- wit,  comes  under  that  category. 

You  see  I  don't  exactly  mean  to  insinuate  that  all 
the  intellect  has  gone  out  with  the  black  eyes  and  patri 
monial  acres ;  nor  have  I  the  slightest  intention  of  un 
derrating  your  abilities.  Of  mere  talent,  I  dare  say 
you  have  quantum  suff.;  most  of  the  family  have  even 
now;  but  that  is  a  minor  consideration.  For  you  may, 
as  Clara  intimates,  be  "  abundantly  able  to  keep  your 
own  counsel;"  have  any  reasonable  amount  of  patri 
cian  nonchalance  and  hereditary  obstinacy— -fiiinness  it 
is  proper  to  call  it,  is  it  not,  when  developed  in  the  mas 
culine  form  ? — your  perceptions  may  be  clear  and  rapid 
as  intuition ;  your  thoughts  concentrated  and  vigorous 
almost  to  a  fault ;  your  mind  sufficiently  comprehensive 
in  its  grasp ;  and  you,  to  crown  the  whole,  be  thor 
oughly  persuaded  of  your  own  transcendent  merits,  and 
yet,  and  yet  want  many  a  sine  qua  non  for  a  statesman. 

Have  you  the  far-reaching  benevolence  that  feels  for 
humanity  as  its  brother;  the  lofty  magnanimity  that 
could  nerve  you,  if  need  were,  to  sacrifice  not  only  your 
own,  but  the  interests  of  your  dearest  earthly  friend,  on 
the  altar  of  your  country's  weal  ?  Is  your  frame  tem 
pered  of  iron,  and  your  spirit  "  to  the  happy  callosity 
of  an  oyster  ? "  If  not,  depend  upon  it,  you  are  most 
unfit  for  the  guerilla  warfare  of  political  life.  You  may 
"  enmail  your  soul  with  high  endurance,"  and  bear  up 
bravely  for  awhile,  to  all  external  appearance ;  but,  soon 
or  late,  the  iron  will  be  found  to  have  entered  the  soul ! 


LETTERS    AND   MISCELLANIES.  199 

Oh,  I  fear  for  you,  my  young  cousin !  If  you  have 
naught  but  the  fragile  constitution  and  highly  nervous 
temperament  of  your  paternal  line — if,  in  short,  the 
blade  be  too  keen  for  the  scabbard — what  boots  it  that 
you  start  gloriously  on  your  career — that  your  sword 
flashes  brightest  in  the  onset,  and  men  look  on  in  won 
der  and  in  fear  ?  It  cannot  last,  and,  in  some  inauspi 
cious  hour,  the  faithless  steel  will  betray  its  trust,  and 
leave  you  to  be  borne  down  in  the  conflict  by  mere  ani 
mal  power,  or  distanced  in  the  race  long  ere  the  goal 
be  won ! 

But,  supposing  you  have  all  mental,  and  moral  and 
physical  endowments,  in  rare  and  almost  unprecedented 
perfection,  you  may,  you  must,  still  want  one  essential 
element  of  success ;  I  mean  pecuniary  independence. 
How  can  a  man,  harassed  by  the  ever  recurring  ques 
tion — •"  What  shall  I  eat  and  what  shall  I  drink,  and 
wherewithal  shall  I  be  clothed" — bring  the  full  scope 
of  his  mind  to  bear  upon  the  exposition  and  adjustment 
of  intricate  and  conflicting  claims  ?  How  can  he  give 
his  undivided  energies  to  the  solution  of  a  disquisition, 
subtile  in  form  and  complicated  in  bearing  ?  We  are,  at 
best,  but  frail,  erring  mortals,  with  human  wants,  human 
weakness,  and  human  causes  of  annoyance  indissolubly 
intertwined  with  every  fiber  of  our  nature,  every  rami 
fication  and  phase  of  our  existence.  And  how  is  it  pos 
sible  for  a  being  so  situated  always  to  abide,  unflinch 
ingly,  by  his  own  conviction  of  what  is  just  and  right, 
when  all  the  world — his  political  world  I  mean — cries 
out  that  he  is  " mistaken"  that  he  is  "wrong;"  and 
the  very  bread,  perhaps,  of  those  dearer  to  him  than  his 
own  life,  absolutely  depends  on  his  yielding  his  "prefer 
ences"  at  the  imperious  edict  of  an  overbearing  mob- 


200  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

ocracy,  ever  ready  to  apply  the  thumb-screws  of  official 
torture  to  the  soul  ?  It  is  easy  for  the  casuist  to  lay 
down  his  inflexible  rules,  and  say  it  must  be  thus  and 
so;  very  easy  for  the  looker-on  to  hurl  invective  and 
denunciation  at  him  who  swerves,  in  the  smallest  iota, 
from  his  criterion  of  what  is  proper  and  right ;  but,  de 
pend  upon  it,  dear  Clarence,  there  are  emergencies 
which  try  men's  souls  far  more  than  the  unequal  con 
test  with  physical  power. 

Do  you  recollect  Goldsmith's  half-earnest,  half-jesting 
epitaph  on  the  living  Burke,  whom  he  declared  "  equal 
to  all  things,  yet  for  all  things  unfit ; "  and  is  there  not 
deep  and  melancholy  significance  in  the  fact  that  the 
assertion  of  his  having  "narrowed  his  mind,  and  to 
party  given  up  what  was  meant  for  mankind,"  follows, 
almost  as  a  natural  and  inevitable  sequence,  from  the 
prior  declaration  that  he  was  "  too  poor  for  a  patriot," 
though  "too  proud  for  a  wit?"  Think  of  all  this; 
think,  calmly  and  dispassionately,  before  you  venture 
on  giving  the  "unspiritual  god"  such  vantage  ground 
as  may  ultimate  in  the  subversion  of  your  moral  in 
tegrity.  I  cannot  fear  that  a  son  of  your  father's  train 
ing  should  want  moral  feeling  sufficiently  high-toned 
and  acute,  and  I  would  not  doubt  the  stability  of  your 
moral  principles !  But  yet,  with  all  the  wealth  of  your 
young  'affections,  all  the  pride  of  your  early  manhood 
and  conscious  power,  you  are  but  the  veriest  novice, 
after  all,  in  the  tortuous,  Machiaveliau  policy  of  secta 
rian,  sectional  and  political  intrigue  and  diplomacy. 
And  let  me  remind  you,  once  again,  my  "high-reach 
ing"  cousin,  there  are,  there  must  be,  many  occasions 
in  a  civic  career  which  require  something  more  than  the 
pride  of  opinion,  the  abstract  conviction  of  right,  or  the 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  201 

quiet,  stubborn,  innate  hauteur  of  all  your  race,  to  pre 
serve  one's  honor  and  conscience  unsullied  and  pure ! 

Thus  far,  we  have  been  looking  through  a  microscope 
at  the  petty  affairs  of  this  every-day  life :  now  let  us 
take  up  the  telescope,  and  look,  for  a  moment,  beyond 
the  stars !  Ah,  the  things  that  are  SEEN  are  temporal — 
the  things  that  are  UNSEEN  are  eternal!  Here  then  is 
a  subject,  worthy  the  mortal  heir  of  an  immortal  des 
tiny  !  And  if  it  be  so  difficult  for  the  young  to  turn 
away  from  the  present  and  bring  the  far-off  future  near 
but  for  one  short  hour — so  "very  hard"  for  "a  rich  man 
to  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  God,"  what  must  it  be  for 
him  who  has  gone  on  from  youth  to  age,  linking  him 
self  closer  and  closer,  with  each  revolving  year,  to  the 
hopes  and  schemes,  the  passions  and  interests  of  this 
transitory  life,  till  the  frosts  of  many  winters  settle  on 
his  brow,  and  the  fading  eye,  and  feeble  step,  and  tot 
tering  form,  proclaim,  too  clearly  to  be  misunderstood, 
that  "the  places  which  now  know  him  shall  soon  know 
him  no  more  forever  ? "  What  must  it  be,  I  say,  for  such 
a  one  to  unwind  all  the  subtile  chord  of  association  that 
binds  him  with  its  thousand  links  to  old  habits  of 
life  and  modes  of  thought — turn  away  from  earth  its 
cares  and  vicissitudes,  its  pleasures  and  honors,  and 
seek. 

"  'Mid  the  green  places  of  the  soul, 
For  that  pure,  life-giving  tide 
That  wells  with  hope,  and  love,  and  truth, 
The  fountain  of  perpetual  youth  ?" 

The  last  twenty  years  have,  it  is  true,  furnished  two 
eminent  instances  of  this  high  moral  effort,  but  they 
stand  on  the  barren  field  of  political  life,  almost  unpre 
cedented  and  alone  in  their  solitary  splendor — rich  moiiu- 


202  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES 

ments  of  the  superabounding  grace  of  God,  and  lofty 
beacons  to  warn  alike  the  undistinguished  throng  and 
their  gifted  compeers  "in  that  stern  strife  which  leads 
to  life's  high  places,"  that  this  is  not  their  rest — that 
man  has  another  and  a  loftier  destiny.  And  well  was  it 
for  the  owner  of  one  of  those  immortal  names,  "that 
were  not  born  to  die,"  that  the  disappointment  so  gaHing 
to  his  country's  pride,  so  disastrous  to  its  interests,  se 
cured  to  him,  it  may  be,  in  the  calm  shades  of  domestic 
retirement,  that  "more  convenient  season"  that  might 
never  have  been  found,  had  he  been  encumbered  with 
the  care  of  a  nation's  weal !  And  well,  indeed,  is  it,  if — 

'Standing  on  what  too  long  he  bore, 

With  shoulders  bent,  and  downcast  eyes, 
He  has  discerned — unseen  before — 
The  path  to  higher  destinies." 

But  oh  how  often,  how  often,  does  the  recurrence  of 
adverse  examples  admonish  us,  more  eloquently  than  a 
thousand  tongues,  to  "seek  first  the  kingdom  of  God  and 
his  righteousness." 

How  is  it  with  you,  my  inexperienced  cousin  ?  Have 
you  given  your  "  human  heart  to  God  in  its  beautiful 
hour  of  youth  ? "  If  so,  let  the  tempest  of  life  and  the 
surges  of  faction  howl  and  madden  around  you  as  they 
will,  they  cannot  unmoor  the  bark  that  is  anchored  se 
curely  on  the  "  Rock  of  Ages."  If  not,  let  me  entreat  you 
to  remember,  that  "he  builds  too  low  who  builds  beneath 
the  skies."  For  were  it  indeed  possible,  that  the  holy 
hope  of  the  Christian  should  eventually  flit  away  like 
the  dream  of  a  dream,  it  is  still  something — oh  yes,  it  is 
much — that  the  weary  in  heart  and  broken  in  spirit,  can 
yet  hear  a  voice  crying  unto  them,  "Come  unto  me  all 


*. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  203 

ye  that  labor  and  are  heavy  laden  and  I  will  give  you 
rest."  Much  that  the  homeless  and  desolate  can  still 
be  enabled  to  feel,  that  in  their  "Father's  house  are 
many  mansions,"  and  look  up  from  "life's  endless  en 
deavor"  to  that  rest  in  the  skies,  in  the  fullness  of  un 
wavering  hope  and  unfaltering  trust ! 

For  myself,  the  dew  has  long  since  vanished  from  the 
rose,  the  sparkle  from  the  wine  of  life ;  but  not  for  that 
would  I  cast  the  shadow  of  its  evening  cloud  over  the 
brightness  of  your  morning  prime.  Nor  would  I  put 
you  again  in  leading-strings,  or  say  of  any  particular 
line  of  exertion,  "This  is  the  way,  walk  ye  in  it"  Far 
from  it ;  all  1  wish  is,  or  rather,  (what  is  much  more  to 
the  purpose,)  all,  1  presume,  that  Clara  wishes,  is,  that 
you  should  weigh  yourself  viett  noiv,  lest  you  should 
hereafter  be  weighed  in  the  balances  of  two  worlds  and 
found  "wanting" 

But  let  others  think  as  they  will,  it  surely  is  not  for 
me.  who  knows  so  well  the  cost  and  consequences  of 
attempting  to  chain,  and  task,  and  torture  the  rebel 
will  that  chafes  and  struggles  to  be  free,  wasting,  in  vain 
effort,  the  strength  that  might  otherwise  have  launched 
it  gloriously  on  its  own  chosen  career ; — oh  no,  it  is  not 
for  me  to  thwart  an  inclination  so  deep-seated  and 
strong,  that  it  "parts  not  quite  with  parting  breath." 
If  yours  be  of  that  cast — if  nothing  less  will  satisfy  the 
measure  of  your  life-long  yearning — if  you  do  feel  the 
calm  consciousness  of  power,  the  full  plenitude  of  the 
divinity  within — if  law  or  aught  else  has  ever  been  with 
you,  but  as  "a  means  to  an  end,"  then  I  say  GO  ON,  and 
woe  be  to  the  hand  that  would  voluntarily  rise  up  to 
throw  another  obstacle  in  your  path,  or  seek  to  arrest 
your  onward  course!  I  would  not,  if  I  could,  interdict 


204:  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

a  career  that  had  once  perhaps  been  mine  had  my  sex 
been  stern  as  my  fate,  that  had  most  surely  been  his,  in 
whose  "burial  urn"  I  laid  my  youth  "where  sunshine 
might  not  find  it."  Had  he  lived  his  name  was  not  des 
tined  to  have  been  "written  on  the  roll  of  common 
men ;"  and  I  scarce  know — either  for  Clara's  sake  or 
your  own — whether  to  hope,  or  to  fear,  that  his  mantle 
has  descended  upon  you :  but  should  aught  I  have  said 
appear  to  you  a  little  "less  than  kind,"  think  that  I  have 
said  more  perhaps  than  I  should,  but  for  the  conviction, 
never  entirely  to  be  shaken  off,  that  it  was  my  "un 
reined  ambition"  seconding  his  own  that  stimulated 
him  into  an  early  grave. 

But  if  with  you  "life  is  nothing,  youth" — the  im 
mortal  youth  of  intellect — "is  all" — if  indeed  you  do 
go  on,  let  no  secondary  rank  bound  the  limit  of  your 
aim — the  highest,  the  highest,  for  you,  my  proud  cou 
sin,  or  none!  Remember,  however,  that  it  is  not  the 
rank  of  office,  that  ultima  thule  of  the  vulgar  mind,  to 
which  I  allude.  Oh  no!  there  are  distinctions  far  no 
bler  and  more  ennobling  than  these.  Can  you  tell  who 
performed  the  role  of  magistracy  in  Athens,  while  De 
mosthenes  wielded  the  destinies  of  Greece  ?  I  fancy  not, 
and  as  little  do  I  care.  And  whenever  I  hear  "the  first 
of  living  statesmen  "  lauded  for  his  MAGNANIMITY  in 
withdrawing  his  name  on  a  certain  occasion,  I  always 
long  to  correct  the  phraseology,  by  saying,  for  suffering 
it  to  be  used  at  all  in  such  a  connection. 

It  is  at  all  times  proper  to  "  tread  lightly  on  the  ashes 
of  the  illustrious  dead ;"  it  is  peculiarly  so  now,  that  the 
late  Chief  Magistrate  has  so  recently  departed  alike  from 
the  arena  of  martiaLand  political  strife ;  and  few,  it  is 
to  be  hoped,  are  so  unhappily  warped  by  passion  and 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  205 

prejudice  as  to  withhold  the  meed  of  respect  and  affec 
tion,  so  eminently  due  to  his  important  services,  sterling 
sense,  and  lofty  integrity  of  purpose.  It  is  also  a  matter 
of  more  than  party  or  sectional  congratulation,  that  his 
successor  has  the  moral  stamina  to  stand  up  like  a  man 
at  his  post;  yet  for  the  mere  incumbent  of  office,  as 
such,  I  have  a  most  " infinitessimal"  regard,  and  conse 
quently  never  find  it  in  my  heart  to  yield  him  more  than 
the  slightest  passing  tribute  of  respect,  though  I  can  bow 
down  my  whole  soul  at  the  shrine  of  that  higher  no 
bility,  nor  feel  degraded  by  its  homage.  Still  I  really 
do  wish — just  for  the  novelty  of  the  thing — that  I  actu 
ally  could  ieel  for  one  half  hour  as  others  appear  to  feel, 
all  their  lives,  in  reference  to  office  in  the  abstract. 
Some  noble  soul  does,  to  be  sure,  throw,  from  time  to 
time,  the  prestige  of  his  own  individual  greatness  around 
the  mockery  of  its  hollow  forms ;  but  the  halo  recedes 
with  the  setting  sun — it  will  not  linger  to  hallow  the 
spot  or  gild  the  lack -luster  brows  of  those  "accidents  of 
an  accident"  that  too  often  succeed.  Yet  somehow 
so  it  is,  that  others  "see  a  form  I  cannot  see,  and  hear 
a  voice  I  cannot  hear,"  for  to  me  there  is  no  "  excelsior" 
inscribed  on  the  Executive  Chair.  What  is  it,  and  a 
thousand  such,  with  all  the  paraphernalia  and  parade  of 
factitious  dignity,  to  the  priceless  birthright  of  genius — 
the  nobility  not  born  of  the  "most  sweet  voices"  of  the 
mob — what,  for  instance,  are  all  their  titles  and  honors 
to  the  simple,  "world-wide  renowned  name"  of  HEN 
RY  CLAY?  Any  "rabble  rout"  can  help  to  make  a 
President.  "An  honest  man's  the  noblest  work  of 
God!" 

Had  I  visited  the  Capital  during  his  interregnum,  it 
is  just  possible  I  might  have  been  as  much  astonished 


206  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

as  a  certain  dry  old  Tennessee  Judge  once  professed  to 
be  on  hearing  the  census  of  Virginia,  "after  having," 
(as  he  said,)  "been  so  long  under  the  impression" — de 
rived  from  a  very  mediocre  F.  F.  V.  of  his  acquain 
tance — "that  there  was  nobody  there  but  BENJAMIN 
WADKINS  LEIGH;"  for  verily  "Washington  without  its 
presiding  genius  is  a  nonentity  to  me. 

This  reminds  me  to  inquire,  have  you  paid  your  re 
spects  as  yet  ?  If  not,  let  me  request  you  to  do  so  on 
the  first  suitable  occasion;  not,  indeed,  with  the  mean, 
pitiful  servility  of  a  poor,  sneaking,  political  toady,  pant 
ing  to  catch  the  skirts  of  some  great  man,  in  whose  broad 
wake  he  hopes  to  scull  his  ricketty  craft  into  the  snug 
harbor  of  power  and  place,  but  with  the  cordial  unpre 
tending  deference  which  every  sensible,  well-behaved 
young  gentleman  in  the  land,  honestly  owes  to  one  who 
has  "rode  these  many  summers  on  a  sea  of  glory" — a 
deference  alike  honorable  to  the  giver  and  receiver. 
But  you  are,  I  trust,  better  trained  than  to  mistake  in 
solent  familiarity  for  manly  independence,  or  modesty 
fpr  meannesss.  True  modesty  is  perfectly  compatible 
with  a  just  appreciation  of  one's-self  as  well  as  others; 
and  I  question  if  there  is  not  more  plausibility  than  pro 
fundity  in  the  received  ipse  dixit,  "Diffidence  of  our 
own  abilities  is  a  sure  indication  of  wisdom." 

A  man  of  gigantic  intellect  may,  it  is  true,  feel  at 
times  that  it  is  "no  such  great  things  after  all,"  because 
he  never  knew  what  it  was  to  have  an  ordinary  one,  and 
it  may,  and  no  doubt  often  does,  seem  very  small  to  him 
in  comparison  with  what  he  is  able  to  conceive;  but  if 
so  immeasurably  superior  to  those  around,  it  is,  to  say 
the  least,  a  little  remarkable  that  a  mind  of  strong 
powers  and  acute  perceptions,  should  fail  to  perceive 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  207 

what  is  obvious  to  the  dullest  comprehension.  "  Can  a 
man  hold  fire  in  his  hand  by  thinking  on  the  frosty 
Caucasus?"  Can  he  bear  about  this  glittering  curse 
of  genius,  nor  feel  its  circlet  of  ice — its  serpent  of  fire 
girdling  and  crushing  his  heart  and  stinging  his  brain 
almost  to  madness  ?  Impossible!  He  may  regret,  and 
endeavor  to  hide,  the  world — the  cold,  careless,  envious 
or  busy  world — overlook,  mistake,  deny,  or  strive  to 
stifle  and  ignore  its  existence ;  but  it  is  there !  it  is 
there! — a  glory  and  a  grief,  a  joy  a  crown  and  a 
thorn,  a  seraph,  a  taunting,  mocking  fiend;  but  never, 
never  more  to  depart  till  life  (or  reason)  and  it  go 
out  together!  So,  do  not  fold  your  hands,  sit  down 
and  flatter  yourself  that  inertia  or  imbecility  is  modesty. 

This  recalls  an  observation  made  a  few  months  since 
by  a  lady  in  De  Soto,  herself  the  worthy  ,and  highly 
talented  daughter  of  "  an  old  historic  line,"  namely, 
"  that  this  thing  called  '  modest  merit'  was  a  very  pretty 
thing,  a  most  beautiful  thing,  to  talk  about;  but  good 
for  no  earthly  use  whatever,  except  to  keep  formidable 
competition  out  of  the  way  of  more  brazen  and  less 
gifted  aspirants." 

The  remark  was  made  expressly  for  my  benefit ;  it  is 
now  repeated  for  yours  ;  because,  I  take  it  for  granted, 
one  grand  difficulty  with  the  whole  "  kith  and  kin  "  is, 
that  they  lack  assurance,  or  some  other  interpreter,  to 
translate  them  out  of  themselves.  Here  am  I  now,  can 
talk — Oh,  very  brave  ! — to  a  piece  of  white  paper ;  and 
yet — with  lip  curling,  quivering  and  closed,  as  if  "  ne'er 
to  ope  again  " — be  driven  back  into  myself,  by  the  first 
"  cold,  uncomprehending  look  "  or  chilling  tone,  there 
indignantly  to  deplore  "  the  hard  and  hapless  situation 
of  a  bard  "  compelled  to  find  not  only  the  wit  but  sense 


208  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

to  appreciate  it;  and  spurn  and  scorn,  from  my  inmost 
soul,  the  inveterate  stolidity  of  that  "many-headed 
monster  thing"  ever  ready  to  worship  the  rising  sun, 
and  "  pile  Peliou  upon  Ossa"  to  keep  it  below  the  hori 
zon  as  long  as  it  possibly  can !  Oh,  it's  all  a  mistake : 
these  philosophers  know  nothing  at  all  about  the  matter; 
cold  is  not  a  "  negative  property ! " — just  let  them  feel 
it  once  settling  down  on  the  heart,  as  I  have  done  hun 
dreds  of  times,  and  they  would  soon  know  better !  But 
all  the  spirit-vacillations,  mind  you,  and  all  the  incar 
nate  Zeros  in  the  universe,  never  reach  my  PURPOSE  ; 
worlds  should  not  bribe  me  to  relinquish  that :  I  think 
I  should  die  or  go  mad  within  a  week,  if  I  knew  it  to 
be  hopeless ! 

"  Ti*ue  woman"  I  dare  say  you  are  thinking,  (of 
course,  what  else  should  I  be?)  '"and  variable  as  the 
shade  by  the  light,  quivering  aspen  made;'"  but,  to 
dismiss  the  single  specimen  and  return  to  the  residue. 
They  are — the  men  I  mean — so  indomitably  proud  or 
reserved,  or  conceited  or  indolent,  or  something  of  the 
sort,  that  they  expect  everybody  to  appreciate  them  in 
tuitively,  without  their  ever  taking -the  pains  or  making 
the  condescension  to  insinuate  that  they  are,  as  Willis' 
Interrogator  expresses  it,  anybody  in  particular.  Now, 
this  will  never  do.  "  The  wise  world  laughs  at  fables  ; 
dream  no  more !  "  It  was  not  by  idle  reverie  that  my 
ideal  of  a  clear-headed  statesman  and  chivalrous  gentle 
man,  soared  to  his  present  "pride  of  place!" 

The  old  Romans  decreed  the  OAKEN  LEAF  as  the  most 
fitting  award  to  him  who  saved  the  life  of  the  drowning ; 
and  has  not  he,  whose  pride  has  ever  been 

To  cast  the  healing  salt  into  the  bitter  waters, 

twice  plunged  into  the  maddened  vortex  of  faction ;  twice 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  209 

stemmed  its  tide  to  rescue  his  country  and  constitution 
from  destruction  ;  and  twice,  aye,  thrice,  bound  his  brow 
with  a  garland  far  nobler  than  the  wreath  of  empire  ? 
Yes,  "  and  the  laurel  is  earned  that  binds  his  brow," 
and  I  would  rather  call  that  man  my  friend,  than  be 
crowned  "  queen  of  beauty  and  of  song,"  by  half  the 
residue  of  his  species!  We  shall  never  meet  face  to 
face  in  this  life,  but  we  shall  meet,  yes  we  shall  meet, 
in  that  land  where  pecuniary  disabilities  no  longer  keep 
asunder,  wide  as  the  poles,  those  who  might  otherwise 
rejoice  to  know  and  appreciate  each  other.* 

You  may  chance  to  be  a  dissentient,  if  so,  do  not 
annoy  me,  I  entreat,  with  any  odious  old  saws  about 
gentlemen  and  their  valets,  "  Distance"  and  "  Enchant 
ment;"  or  waste  any  valuable  time  attempting  to  dis 
pel  what  you,  in  your  presumption,  may  esteem  the 
veriest  illusion.  You  would  fail,  I  have  a  presentiment, 
for  "  /cannot  spare  the  luxury  of  believing  that  some 
things  beautiful  are  what  they  seem!"  And  beside,  a 
woman's  politics  being  no  manner  of  consequence,  the 
world  should  tolerate  all  manner  of  harmless  illusions 
in  me ;  for  without  them,  what  should  /  know  of  life 
"  but  its  real  misery  ?"  But  mind  I  don't  admit  that 
there  can,  by  any  possibility,  be  an  illusion  in  this 
instance  —  no,  he  surely  is  that  rare  phenomenon  —  a 
real  patriot,  an  earnest  true-hearted  statesman,  and 
honest,  high-minded  man !  And  yet  this  is  mere  tauto 
logy;  for  the  doctrine  that  one  may  be  a  knave  in 
i ,, . 

*  Well  I  am  not  quite  a  Cassandra  yet  it  seems — any  more  than 
poverty  and  sickness  are  the  most  delightful  of  all  masters  of  ceremonies, 
chough  something  should  be  forgiven  to  them — but  the  diamond  is  a 
diamond  still,  place  it  in  whatever  light  you  will. 

Mem.  of  Oct.  30th,  Louisville,  Ky.,  1851. 


210  LETTEKS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

public,  yet  honest  in   private  life,  would  be  shocking 
impiety,  if  it  were  not  most  ridiculous  nonsense.     Let 
us   see  —  it  means   I   suppose,  that  it  is  "  very  right 
proper,"  and  in  fact  almost  the  "  bounden  duty"  of  a 
politician,  to  bamboozle,  humbug,  and  betray  as  many 
thousands  as  he  can ;  though  it  would  be  exceedingly 
reprehensible,  dishonest,  and  infamous,  for  him  to  cheat 
or  defraud  a  single   one.     Well,  I   am   getting  rather 
antiquated,  it's  true,  and   losing   perhaps,  the   proper 
signification  of  the  "  king's  English;"  and  maybe  it 
doesn't  take  exactly  ten  hundred  to  make  up  a  thousand 
now  as   it  used   to  "in   my  day:"  so  it's  all  right  I 
suppose,  just  upon  the  principle,  that  abstracting  five 
or  ten  dollars,  is  "  stealing"  whereas  making  off,  with 
a  few  hundred  thousand,  or  half  a  million,  is  only  a 
splendid  defalcation.      But  isn't  that  beautiful  logic, 
charming  ethics?     "And   ne'er  a  word  a  true   one;" 
for  he  who  is  "God-ward,  a  very  faithful,  upright  man, 
but  man-ward,  a  little  twistical,"  has  not  even  the  merit 
of   being   an    accomplished   hypocrite,    much    less   an 
honest  man.     He  who  plunders  the  public,  will  rob  his 
neighbor  and  swindle  his  brother  when  it  serves  his 
turn.      lie   who    mystifies   and    misleads    the   crowd, 
knowingly  and  willfully,  will  falsify  with  his  friend,  pre 
varicate  with  his  wife,  deceive  his  child,  and  take  "a  lie 
in  his  right  hand,"  into  the  very  presence  of  his  Maker. 
Never  do  you,  my  dear  cousin,  take  any  man  to  your 
confidence,  who  advocates  this  absurd  yet  mischievous 
sophism,  in  any  conceivable  form ;  for  however  else  you 
may  fail,  you  owe  it  to  yourself,  your  God,  and  your 
name;  to  keep  your  honor  and  conscience  intact  and 
without  shadow  of  stain ! 

"  Oil  hone  a  ree"  was  ever  such  another  incarnate 


LETTEK8   AND   MISCELLANIES.  211 

statute  of  limitations  ?  Here  is  scarce  room  enough  for 
"  the  gist  of  a  lady's  letter,"  to  wit,  a  postscript  of 
orthodox  dimensions !  Well,  it  can't  be  helped,  so  you 
are  reprieved  for  this  time,  and  I  must  reserve  two 
capital  subjects — Idleness  and  Dissipation;  moral,  social, 
and  literary — for  a  future  essay.  In  the  meantime  you 
are  to  thank  Clara  for  this,  and  would  do  well  to  make 
her  read  it  (and  see  that  it  is  done  secundum  artem), 
otherwise  she  might  insist  on  your  keeping  up  the  cor 
respondence.  She  has  probably  advised  you  ere  this  of 
my  dernier  resort,  and  should  it  meet — as  very  likely  it 
may  —  with  your  most  cordial  disapprobation,  don't 
waste  rhetoric  or  ammunition  on  me,  my  flag  is  nailed  to 
the  mast,  but  try  and  persuade  "  the  world  and  his 
wife,"  to  adopt  the  Quaker,  or  Russian  custom,  and 
dispense  with  all  superfluous  prefixes  to  proper  names. 
For  really  there  is  no  more  absolute  necessity  of  having 
titles  to  discriminate  between  Madame  the  matron,  and 
Mademoiselle  the  "  Lay  nun,"  than  Monsieur  Benedict 
the  bachelor,  and  Monsieur*  Benedict  the  married  man. 
Indeed  I  don't  see  that  they  are  of  any  use,  except  as 
safety-valves  for  vulgar  curiosity  and  impertinence. 
And  sure  enough  some  people  might  get  overcharged  to 
a  dangerous  extent,  if  they  couldn't  bore  every  unlucky 
widow,  or  deserted  wife  they  met,  with  a  regular  cate 
chism  about  her  husband  and  children,  and  the  reason 
why  she  didn't  marry  again ;  and  then  turn  round  and 
remind  some  quiet  unoffending  spinster  (like  your  cousin 

*  Do,  in  mercy  to  all  "  ears  polite,"  learn  (if  you  have  not  done  so 
already)  to  pronounce  this  -word  and  its  plural  Messieurs  correctly,  i.  e. 
Mos-yai  and  Mes-yai,  not  monster,  nor  Moo-soo,  nor  Mon-soon,  nor  any 
thing  of  the  sort.  If  aufait  to  this  matter,  you  will  excuse  this  flip 
pancy,  if  not,  here  is  one  lesson  gratis. 


212  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

"Mel"  for  instance)  that  she  is  old  and  ugly,  and  her 
chance  quite  hopeless  now,  by  "  WONDERING  how  it 
happened  that  such  an  extraordinary  beauty  as  she 
must  have  been,  didn't  get  married  when  she  was  young 
and  pretty."  Just  as  if  they  had  any  right  to  make  it 
incumbent  on  a  lady,  either  to -retort  rudely,  "sin  her 
poor  miserable  before  breakfast"  (or  after),  by  the  in 
vention  of  all  manner  of  "  white  lies,"  or  go  into  a 
history  of  her  whole  lifetime  for  their  edification ;  or  as 
if  no  woman  had  ever  anything  else  to  do  but  "  fall  in 
love"  and  "  get  married"  because  men  sometimes 
make  themselves  ridiculous,  and  spend  their  time  talk 
ing  about  her  beauty,  when  they  had  much  better  be 
saying  their  own  prayers.  The  poor,  conceited  jacka 
napes,  if  they  need  nothing  else,  I'm  sure  most  of  them 
need  pray  long  and  well  for  sense  enough  to  let  the  dead 
rest!  And  they'd  be  clear  enough  too,  of  evoking 
some  shades  of  the  past,  if  they  only  knew  what  awk 
ward,  insignificant,  ill-favored,  unmistakable  "  clods  of 
marl"  they  looked  in  comparison.  But  not  they!  del 
what  atrocite  merveilleuse  that  any  living  mortal,  "guilty 
of  being  suspected"  of  having  had  beauty,  shouldn't 
have  made  it  over  in  hot  haste,  and  with  many  thanks, 
to  the  first  enterprising  Procrustes  willing  to  charge 
himself  with  its  destruction  in  the  shortest  possible 
time.  It's  "«  wonder,"  they  suffer  such  culprits  to  run 
at  large  instead  of  arraigning  them  for  lese  majeste 
against  the  whole  masculine  gender ;  but  exeunt  omnes 
all  ye  pestilent  pestiferi ! 

And  now,  if  you  don't  find  your  vocabulary  suffi 
ciently  "  aired,"  just  go  out  and  declaim,  as  long  as  the 
gag  law  will  let  you,  to  the  first  drowning  man  you 
meet,  on  the  folly  and  utter  inutility  of  grasping  at 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  213 

"  straws  !"  Then  leave  croaking  to  spectacled  wiseacres 
who  fancy  they  know  pretty  much  all  that  is  to  be 
known,  and  can't  perhaps  tell  how  many  bars  there  are 
in  the  grate  they  have  been  punching  for  the  last  twenty 
years.  How  extremely  sagacious  they  look,  don't  they, 
standing  high  and  dry  upon  shore,  discoursing  to  the 
poor  wretch  in  the  water,  about  the  fallacy  and  weak 
ness  of  such  injudicious  efforts ;  but  between  you  and 
me,  don't  you  think  it  would  be  just  as  humane  to  throw 
the  poor  fellow  a  rope  ? 

Not  however,  that  I  expect  anything  of  the  sort  in 
this  instance ;  but  would  merely  suggest  that  you  make 
a  better  investment  of  oratorical  capital,  than  to  bestow 
it  upon  me:  and  finally,  that  you  console  yourself  with 
the  reflection,  that  it  isn't  your  name  after  all — nor  that 
of  any  one  else  now  extant — that  is  liable  to  be  staled  in 
the  mouths  of  men  by  such  an  association.  No,  no,  I 
cannot  afford  that,  while  my  present  position  is  so  pre 
carious,  and  there  is  no  alternative  but  leggary  or  suc 
cess  in  perspective.  So  the  world  and  "  all  the  rest  of 
mankind,"  must  hold  me  excused  if  I  "keep  in  the  line 
of  safe  precedents,"  and  manufacture  one  of  my  own — 
mine  by  right  of  invention,  and  quite  good  enough  for 
steamboat  and  newspaper  use — or  failing  to  get  up  any 
thing  sufficiently  recherche,  conclude  to  patronize  the 
Phonetics,  who  once  did  me  the  honor  to  enroll  my 
obsolete  name — obsolete  at  least  till  I  can  resume  it 
without  compromising  its  dignity  —  in  their  list  of 
celebrities. 

They  didn't  send  me  the  book  to  be  sure,  no  more  they 

didn't  any  one  else,  that  ever  I  could  learn  ;  but  there's 

no   occasion   to  remember  that  you  know,  and  when 

honors  are  scarce,  it  is  necessary  for  us,  "  small  fry," 

18 


214  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

to  be  thankful  for  a  little  and  make  the  most  of  what 
we  can  get ;  so  you  can  mail  the  first  of  the  series  you 
owe  me  for  this,  to  New  Orleans,  and  direct  as  usual 
until  further  orders. 

Your  ill-starred,  but 

Affectionate  cousin. 


LETTER  XVIII. 

•• 

PERSONALITIES  AND  MATTERS  AND  THINGS  IN  GENERAL 

,  La.,  Jan.  2d,  1851. 

DEAR  CLABA: 

I  HAVE  at  last  sealed  and  dispatched  to  your  brother 
just  such  another  pack  and  parcel  of  "lengthened  sage 
advices,"  as"  a  youthful  tyro  like  him  might  expect  from 
a  veteran  statesman  like  myself.  You  know  the  meas 
ure  of  his  endurance  best;  but  in  newspaper  parlance, 
don't  you  expect  to  "catch  a  few"  for  having  instigated 
such  a  proceeding?  Perhaps  though  he  may  "be  mer 
ciful  and  spare,"  if  you  submit  with  all  due  deference  to 
the  penance  of  my  suggestion;  so  by  way  of  giving  you 
a  little  preliminary  practice,  I  have  just  opened  a  new 
ream,  and  there's  no  telling  how  much  of  it  you  may 
have  to  pay  postage  upon. 

But  verily  "republics  are  ungrateful;"  here  am  I 
now,  and  cannot  find  that  there  has  ever  been  the  slight 
est  notice  taken  of  my  extraordinary  efforts  to  enhance 
the  postal  income.  If  Sir  "Walter  Scott  was  knighted, 
as  the  story  goes,  for  increasing  the  revenue  on  paper, 
why  should  not  an  humble  individual  like  myself  be 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  215 

pensioned  for  its  consumption,  more  especially  when  it 
enures  so  much  to  the  benefit  of  the  Fifth  Department, 
not  to  mention  the  mercantile  and  manufacturing  in 
terests  ? 

Tell  the  counselor  ihat  if  he  really  does  intend 
speechifying  to  "Buncombe"  in  future,  he  might  as 
•well  begin  by  calling  attention  to  this  subject.  It  will 
do  just  as  well  by  way  of  practice  as  any  other,  and  be 
quite  as  sensible  as  most  "able  discussions."  Though, 
for  that  matter,  I  could  suggest  one  or  two  more,  just  to 
let  the  Lieges  know  that  we,  their  lawful  Suzeraines, 
might,  perhaps,  furnish  the  "William  Pitt,  point  cPappui, 
should  they  ever  get  enmeshed  head  and  ears  in  meta 
physics,  yet  fear  to  "fall  hack  on  plain  common  sense" 
from  a  very  rational  apprehension  of  having  to  measure 
the  entire  distance  from  bathos  down  a  la  Rochester.* 

And  this,  may  it  please  their  wisdoms,  isn't  altogether 
vain-glorious  boasting,  for  we  haven't  so  entirely  taken 
leave  of  our  senses  yet,  that  they  can  palm  off  on  our 
easy  faith  and  "all  enduring"  good  nature,  such  ultra- 
agrarianism  as  they  have  grafted  into  the  laws  of  the 
land  under  the  specious  names  of  patent  and  copy 
right  laws,  and  we  never  the  wiser.  The  brain  is  as 
much  a  part  of  the  human  system  as  the  hand,  and  its 
product  a  property  or  it  is  not  a  property — its  possession 
a  right  or  not  a  right.  If  not  &  property,  then  it  clearly 
belongs  to  the  originator,  for  nothing  has  been  his  prop 
erty  for  ages;  but  only  to  think  now  of  our  Brother 
Jonathan,  he,  of  all  men  alive,  to  waste  the  marketable 

*  The  "wicked  and  witty"  once  inquired,  in  the  mines  of  Cornwall, 
"What,  your  Reverence,  may  be  the  distance  from  the  bottom  of  that 
shaft  to  the  center  of  the  infernal  region?"  and  was  told,  "It  can't  be 
far  my  lord,  just  let  go  that  rope  and  you'll  be  there  directly '" 


216  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

commodity  of  legislation  in  alienating  an  impalpable, 
valueless  abstraction.  Isn't  it  a  little  too  ridiculous? 
If  it  is  a  property  there  must  be  a,  fee  simple  somewhere, 
and  if  it  does  not  determine  per  se  in  the  producer,  then 
all  good  citizens  should  rise  en  masse  against  the  high 
handed  tyranny  that  allows  him  to  usurp  its  rights  and 
privileges  a  single  hour.  It's  modest  though,  to  the 
shameless  and  unblushing  favoritism  of  some  radicals, 
who  impudently  insist "  that  a  man  should  be  allowed  the 
use  of  what  he  can  make  for  the  whole  of  his  own  natural 
life  ;"  and  not  half  so  bad  as  sheltering  with  their  segis 
an  unholy  alliance  of  publishers,  paper  and  spectacle 
makers,  if  not  actually  "aiding  and  abetting"  their  ne 
farious  designs  and  sinister  practices,  lest  some  heads 
and  eyes  in  these  thirty-one  independent,  conglomerate 
Republics  should  eventually  get  strong  enough  to  super 
vise  their  own  misdoings.  They  are  every  one  "art 
and  part,"  it's  my  belief,  ("our  publishers"  always  ex- 
cepted  of  course,  like  every  man's  doctor  and  lawyer,) 
though  little  do  I  care  personally  for  all  their  barbarous 
machinations  and  conspiracies.  Thanks  be,  I  can  see 
my  way  pretty  well  yet,  and  by  moonlight  if  I  choose, 
through  all  the  hocus  pocus  of  the  wicked-looking  little 
atoms,  that  I  take  to  be  neither  more  nor  less  than  en 
chanted  souls  of  missing  conspirators,  for  every  one  of  the 
hard,  contracted,  leaden-headed  impracticabilities  looks 
as  if  it  had  been  in  a  collapsed  stage  of  the  cholera,  fed 
on  persimmons,  lodged  in  a  condenser,  and  dressed  in 
straight-jackets  ever  since  it  was  born ;  but  that  doesn't 
prove  that  other  people  never  need  glasses  long  before 
they  are  able  to  buy  or  old  enough  to  wear  them,  nor 
that  it  isn't  very  sad  to  see  the  light  all  go  out  of  "child 
hood's  sunny  eye,"  as  the  first  glance  at  the  long,  intri- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  217 

cate  columns,  and  dim,  misty  leaves  of  the  NEW  BOOK, 
deciphers  nothing  half  so  clearly  as  a  Tieadaolie  in  every 
page. 

Aside  from  starving  to  death,  (very  magnanimously,) 
for  the  benefit,  honor  and  glory  of  epitaph  and  monu 
ment-makers,  authors  were  undoubtedly  sent  into  the 
world  to  illustrate  the  old  Greek  fable  of  Polyphemus, 
strong  and  blind,  and  having  been  caught  napping  by 
that  dirty  loafer,  the  right-royally  rascal,  Ulysses,  half 
deserve  to  enact  Issachar  to  the  end  of  time ;  but  were 
the  wily  rogue  disposed,  (as  it  seems  he  is,)  to  bore  out 
the  eyes  of  all  the  flock  too,  nobody  would  ever  dream 
of  holding  the  captive  giant  at  all  responsible !  So  I 
hereby  notify  all  whom  it  may  concern,  that  when  I  me 
morialize,  or  draft  a  bill  for  the  better  protection  of  the 
potentates  and  all  the  young  princes,  there  will  be  one 
proviso,  making  it  the  duty  of  all  health  officers,  and 
other  local  authorities,  to  seize,  wherever  they  may  be 
found,  and  burn,  without  fear  or  favor,  all  such  perni 
cious  and  contraband  wares,  as  books  for  adults  having 
more  than  one-twentieth  part  in  as  small  type  as  large 
Brevier,  and  another  declaring  the  use,  sale  or  issue  of 
a  text-book  in  anything  less  than  Small  Pica,  (with 
notes  and  questions  in  Long  Primer,)  constructive  as 
sault  and  battery  on  the  whole  rising  generation,  and 
punishable  by  confiscation,  fine,  and  imprisonment. 

Abolishing  from  henceforth  nine-tenths  of  Brevier  and 
all  smaller  types  would  unquestionably  be  much  simpler 
and  more  efficacious ;  but  there  being  a  certain  class  of 
deeds,  as  well  as  doers,  having  a  natural  affinity  for  the 
clair  obscuro — and  not  too  much  of  the  Glair  either — it 
would  be  necessary  to  reserve  them  for  the  accommoda 
tion  of  quacks,  politicians,  legislators,  and  others  who 


218  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

often  wish  to  print  what  they  know  isn't  fit  to  be  seen. 
They  of  course  will  show  their  gratitude  by  putting  all 
bright  eyes  and  sunny  faces,  as  well  as  authors'  brains, 
in  their  own  pockets,  if  they  can,  and  there's  nothing  to 
hinder,  that  I  see,  but  "eternal  vigilance."  Were  men 
ever  known,  (put  of  novels,  or  in  more  than  one,)  to 
yield  the  "eleven  points  in  law"  to  one  in  justice,  or 
was  there  the  least  chance  of  the  "plaintiff  in  error's" 
recovering  in  the  new  suit  of  Sarcenet  versus  Broad 
cloth,  I  should  expect,  despite  Mr.  Marcy  and  his  aphor 
ism,  to  come  in,  while  "the  victors"  were  all  overjoyed 
and  out  of  breath,  for  a  goodly  share  of  the  "spoils." 
As  it  is,  I  fear  the  statute  book,  poor  thing,  will  never 
be  much  the  better  for  my  ability  to  string  words  to 
gether  as  long  as  any  Solon  of  them  all ;  and  what  is 
worse  that  I  shall  never  get  the  floor  to  rise  selon  de 
regie  and  expose  my  condition,  just  as  if  the  lion  didn't 
know  there  was  some  pestilent  gallinipper,  or  disgusting 
little  insect  or  other,  (too  small  perhaps  for  an  ordinary 
microscope,)  buzzing,  cavorting,  and  cutting  all  manner 
of  antics  about  his  mane ;  but  there  is  no  help  for  it  that 
I  see,  so  even  that  pension  prayer  will  have  to  be  pre 
ferred  by  other  hands. 

I  believe  though,  upon  "sober  second  thought,"  that 
I  will  have  it  claimed  as  indemnity.  They  honestly  owe 
it  to  me,  for  having  destroyed  my  prospects  with  the  for 
tunes,  (not  to  say  lives,)  of  some  of  my  friends  by  their 
wretched  legislation.  I  don't  exactly  say  which  it  might 
seem  invidious,  but  you  know  very  well  to  what  I  allude, 
and  may  well  exclaim  in  reference  to  this,  "would  to 
God  the  mischief  had  ended  here ;"  for,  incredible  as  it 
may  seem,  some  have  absolutely  taken  the  matter  so 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  219 

much  to  heart  that  their  memories  and  eyesight  have 
been  failing  ever  since,  in  a  manner  most  distressing  to 
behold !  Nor  is  that  all,  for  sundry  rich  old  plethorics 
throughout  the  land  have  actually  been  known  to  fa 
tigue  themselves  by  "doing  the  civil"  to  some  waning 
star,  much  to  the  regret  of  all  humane  observers  of  their 
very  magnanimous  though  superfluous  condescension. 
But  it's  no  use  talking:  some  people  will  martyrize 
themselves  to  their  own  excessive  amiability,  though,  to 
a  feeling  mind,  nothing  can  be  more  truly  painful  than 
witnessing  this  self-imposed  torture,  unless  it  be  seeing 
one  of  these  same  devotees  hold  on,  with  such  a  death- 
grip,  to  every  fraction  of  the  "  almighty  dollar,"  that  the 
poor,  unlucky  dimes  may  be  heard  shrieking  and  groan 
ing  all  over  the  country  like  so  many  fiends  in  torment, 
and  yet  delude  himself  into  the  belief  that  he  really  has 
a  soul,  and,,  perhaps,  feel  uneasy  (for  a  moment  or  two 
nearly  every  year  of  his  life,)  about  the  future  well- 
being  of  that  nonentity.  What  a  vagary !  Not  but 
that  some  people  do  have  souls,  others  intellects,  and 
others  again  neither ;  but,  my  dear  sir,  don't  worry 
yourself  in  the  least — your  divinia  (if  you  have  any) 
is  nothing  in  the  world  but  a  gnome !  "What's  that  you 
say  ?  "  Twinges  of  conscience  ! "  O  hush,  man !  hush ! 
people  will  think  you  have  the  gout  if  you  talk  of 
twinges,  though  I  dare  say  it's  only  the  dyspepsia. 
But  "  conscience"  indeed  !  Now,  what  did  ever  put  it 
into  your  head  that  you  had  one  ?  I'm  sure  nobody 
ever  suspected  you;  and  even  his  reverence  here  can 
tell  you  that  when  St.  James  speaks  of  visiting  the 
"fatherless  and  widows  in  their  affliction,"  he  only 
means  such  as  can  return  the  call  in  their  own  car- 


220  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

riages ;  so  do  sit  down  and  be  quiet,  will  you,  or  just  go 
about  your  business.  I  have  no  patience  with  this  tire 
some  old  world  sentimentality ! 

In  the  meantime,  I  dare  say  "  a  summer  at  the  North 
would  be  very  refreshing"  in  more  ways  than  one ; 
and,  perhaps,  I  may  come,  for  I  hear  that  Barnum,  that 
prince  of  curiosity  mongers,  "has  been  in  full  chase 
after  a  woman  ever  since  that  genus  was  superseded  by 
the  tribe  ladies"  and  think  of  setting  up  my  preten 
sions  when  the  Lindomania  is  over.  So,  success  to 
merit,  for  I  neither  object  to  the  use  nor  application  of 
the  term,  and  retain  several  other  antediluvian  ideas 
and  prejudices,  which  would,  no  doubt,  if  properly  in 
vestigated,  entitle  me  to  rank  high  as  a  real,  living, 
bonafide  specimen  of  the  obsolete  race. 

But  wouldn't  I  cut  a  pretty  figure  in  New  York  upper- 
tendom  ?  I  think  I  see  myself  now,  sitting  in  a  corner, 
with  my  finger  in  my  mouth,  trying  in  vain  to  catch 
the  role  of  conversation,  and  wondering  how  long  it 
would  take  all  those  lambent  rays  to  travel  down  our 
way.  "Well,  we  of  the  South-West  are  a  great  people ; 
that's  past  all  dispute !  For  can't  we  patronize  circuses, 
showmen,  traveling  theatricals  and  mountebanks  of  all 
descriptions  extensively,  support  "the  almighty  dance" 
genteelly,  and  contribute  to  any  and  every  thing  that 
appeals  to  either  or  the  whole  of  our  "  siventeen  sinses" 
very  liberally  ?  To  be  sure  we  can  ;  and,  what's  more, 
we  prefer  metallic  refrigerators,  and  are  not  callous  and 
cold  like  you  of  the  frozen  North,  but  "  open  as  day  to 
melting  charity,"  whenever  the  misery  becomes  suffi 
ciently  abject  and  squalid  to  pain  our  visual  nerves, 
otherwise  we  don't  exactly  see  the  necessity  ;  but,  as  to 
making  an  effort  to  prevent  it's  coming  to  that  pass,  or 


.  J 

LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  221 

risking  the  loan  of  a  dollar  to  avert  the  bitter  humilia 
tion  of  present  dependence,  or  galling  apprehension  of 
future  want:  why,  the  very  idea  would  be  preposterous! 
Who  cares  to  help  people  who  will  try  to  help  them 
selves  2  If  too  proud  to  accept  charity,  let  them  suffer ! 
We  are  not  Rasselas'  mad  astronomer;  it  isn't  our 
province  to  regulate  the  affairs  of  the  universe!  But 
we  can  take  the  first  honors  in  lionizing,  if  not  endued 
with  your  patronizing  genius;  and  there's  a  two-fold 
advantage  in  that,  for  it  saves  abundance  of  "street- 
yarn,"  good  breath,  bad  shoe-leather  and  equivocal 
gratitude,  and  spares  much  and  very  irksome  annoy 
ance  to  all  wayward  eccentrics  having  no  taste  for  be 
coming  grand  levers  of  sensation.  So,  each  to  his  own 
vocation  :  you  rather  shine  in  transcendeutals ;  the 
present  and  tangible  is  our  forte.  Sympathy  being  a 
costly  and  somewhat  volatile  article,  we  don't  keep 
much  ready  bottled  for  exportation,  though  we  do  oc 
casionally  improvise  a  little  for  home  consumption. 
But  then  we  are  too  economical  by  far  to  subscribe  to 
anything  more  than  the  nearest  seven-by-nine  political 
hebdomadal,  and,  perhaps,  a  magazine  or  lady's  book 
now  and  then,  just  for  the  sake  of  pictures  and  fashion 
plates.  As  for  such  lumber  as  LIBRARIES,  whereas  the 
use? — who's  got  time  to  read  them?  So,  if  the  chances 
of  travel  or  fluctuations  of  trade  happen,  at  long  inter 
vals,  to  waft  us  a  new  publication  or  fragmentary  beam 
from  the  far-off  world  of  literature,  "  we  bless  our  stars, 
and  think  it  lucky ; "  and  should  some  six  or  seven 
months  later  bring  us  another  God-send,  we  seize  the 
straggling  waif,  as  if  "  man  need  no  more  to  bless  him 
self  withal ! " 

But,  then,  there  isn't  the  slightest  occasion  for  you  to 
19 

* 


222  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

put  on  any  airs  of  superior  wisdom,  if  you  do  labor 
under  such  a  perfect  plethora  of  intelligence  that  it 
would  be  dangerous  to  check  its  flow  a  single  instant, 
(judging  from  the  dignified  and  condescending  forbear 
ance  and  profound  resignation  which  most  new  comers 
assume  whenever  an  "  older  settler"  attempts  to  slip  in  a 
word  "edgewise;")  for  don't  you  know  we  lavish  untold 
sums  on  our  "  rising  hopes,"  sending  them  to  colleges, 
academies,  seminaries  and  institutes  by  the  dozen,  till 
they  are  elegantly  educated — their  feet  and  fingers  more 
particularly ; — and  don't  we  know  they  are  plenty  smart 
and  abundantly  able  to  get  their  "  knowledge-boxes"  so 
full  by  the  time  they  are  fifteen  or  sixteen,  that  they 
never  need  look  in  a  book  again  for  the  balance  of  their 
natural  lives,  unless  it  be  one  of  those  delectable  little 
"yallow  kivers"  so  opportunely  scattered  up  and  down 
the  country  to  prevent  people's  forgetting  their  A-B-C's. 
Indeed,  it  isn't  surprising  you  all  should  wax  jealous 
and  wish  to  overturn  our  institution  ;  for  it's  enough  to 
make  you  feel  spiteful,  just  to  think  how  you,  on  the 
contrary,  have  to  go  on,  from  year  to  year,  adding 
"line  upon  line,  precept  upon  precept,  here  a  little, 
and  there  a  little" — plodding  away  till  you  get  old 
enough  for  great-grandmothers,  that  is,  five- and -forty, 
or  thereabouts. — Really,  you  are  much  to  be  pitied ! 
But,  O  fie !  I  am  quite  ashamed  of  you :  you  don't  seem 
to  have  the  least  idea  how  beautifully  our  high -pressure 
system  operates ;  and,  of  course,  you  can't  be  expected 
to  know  how  la  belle  Angele  will  ring  in  New  Orleans ! " 
Not  much,  I  opine,  unless  she  is  far  more  frisky  or 
coquettish  than  usual,  or  has  considerable  wealth  (or 
the  reputation  of  it)  to  neutralize  the  effect  of  her 
Northern  birth  and  mannej?.  I  might  as  well  have 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  223 

said  defect,  for  such  it  is  getting  more  and  more  to  be 
considered,  thanks  to  your  half- fool,  half-crazy  Aboli 
tionists,  who  ought  to  be  put  in  straight-jackets,  eveiy 
soul  of  them,  and  kept  on  bread  and  water,  and  precious 
little  of  it,  till  they  would  condescend  to  come  to  their 
senses  and  mind  their  own  business.  This  charity  that 
is  always  looking  abroad,  and  never  beginning  at  home, 
is  very  apt,  like  other  idle,  mischief-making  gad-abouts, 
to  fall  into  disrepute  in  both  quarters.  And,  as  for 
slavery,  don't  listen  a  word  to  anybody  that  says  it 
isn't  demoralizing:  it  is  undoubtedly  the  very  spawn 
of  that  old  imp,  Legion  ;  for  if  it  doesn't  seduce  a  man 
into  spending  money  when  he  ought  to  make  it,  and  a 
hundred  other  enormities,  is  sure  to  help  him  "  com 
pound  for  sins  he  feels  inclined  to,  by  damning  those  he 
has  no  mind  to  ! "  However,  there's  hope  of  the  world 
yet:  I  look  to  see  it  improve  very  shortly,  now  that 
modern  improvement  has  converted  the  "beam"  in 
everybody's  eye  into  a  telescope,  so  that  we  can  all  turn 
our  attention  to  redressing  grievances  at  a  distance. 
I'm  " only  a  passenger"  but  don't  mean  to  back  out 
of  my  share,  you  see. 

What  I  mean  by  the  "manner"  is,  that  there  is 
something  too  staid,  or  too  little  " Missish"  about  a 
genuine  Northern  lady — too  little  advancing  to  attract 
and  retiring  to  be  pursued,"  to  render  her  very  fascinat 
ing  here.  And  that  isn't  the  worst :  this  quiet,  uniform 
dignity  and  queen-like  self-possession  rather  excite  suspi 
cion  of  more  mature  age  than  probably  belongs  to  her  of 
right ;  and  when  this  surmise  has  once  crossed  the  brain, 
it  is  stereotyped  there  as  unalterably  as  "the  laws  of  the 
Medes  and  Persians,"  and  not  the  beauty  of  Venus  or 
the  face  of  a  Hebe  coul«L  ever  efface  the  impression. 


224  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

Or,  rather,  people  not  accustomed  to  appreciate  any  but 
the  beauty  of  extreme  youth,  never  trouble  themselves 
to  look  for  it  where  the  latter  is  supposed  to  be  wanting. 
So,  to  all  available  purposes,  the  real  or  imaginary passee 
might  as  well  be  a  fright  as  a  beauty  ;  and  rather  more 
so,  according  to  a  quizzical  old  friend  of  mine,  who  used 
to  aver,  "  that,  there  being  more  bad  tastes  than  good  in 
the  world,  a  plain  woman  would  stand  a  chance  to  be 
thought  pretty  much  oftener  than  if  she  actually  were 
so;"  from  all  of  which  you  will  infer  that,  unless  the 
lady  in  question  differs  materially  from  most  high-bred 
Northern  importations,  I  see  no  special  necessity  for  any 
of  her  old  admirers  going  into  spasmodics  or  making 
themselves  ultra  ridiculous  about  the  matter,  any  way, 
until  the  season  is  over,  or  so  long,  at  least,  as  Divinity's 
abroad  and  mortality  safe  in  its  own  insignificance. 

But  why,  upon  earth,  don't  Prince  Humbug  and  King 
Magic  put  their  heads  together,  and  show  up,  to  an  ad 
miring  world,  our  whole  American  populace  harnessing 
itself  to  the  triumphal  car  of  some  transatlantic  noto 
riety  ?  "Wouldn't  it  be  delighted  to  see  how  the  doors 
of  too  many  of  the  wisest  and  best,  even,  in  the  high 
places  of  the  land,  fly  open  to  a  foreign  actress  or  aven- 
turiee,  and  close  almost  hermetically  to  indigenous 
talent,  equal,  perhaps,  in  degree,  though  different  in 
order,  and  developed  in  the  less  conspicuous  (and  there 
fore  more  truly  dignified  and  appropriate,)  departments 
of  woman's  sphere  ?  And  haven't  we  a  right  to  boast  all 
the  time,  and  more  too,  of  a  country  able  to  guard  the 
distinction  between  virtue  and  vice  so  jealously,  while 
holding  out  a  general  amnesty  to  the  faux  pas  and 
"escapades"  of  an  imported  stale  in  one  hand,  arid  in 
flicting,  with  the  other,  the  direst  vengeance  of  outraged 


LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES.  225 

morality  on  some  fair,  frail,  fallen  sister  ?  Of  course  we 
have,  so  being  good  as  we  are  great,  can  now  aflbrd  to 
be  just  as  well  as  generous  and  never  name  the  advent 
of  an  Essler,  or  any  other  danseuse  in  the  same  age  with 
the  present  avatar ;  for  what  right-minded,  high -hearted 
woman  but  must  rejoice  in  the  fair  name  and  fair  fame 
of  this  glory-brightened  sister- woman  ?  Who  would 
pluck  a  single  leaf  from  her  laurel  or  darken  its  splen 
dor  with  the  dream  of  a  shade  ?  Yet  who  would  not 
gladly  see  her  volunteer  Boswells,  unpensioned  toadies, 
and  merciless  panegyrists — half  our  Dailies  and  "Weak- 
lies  in  short — brought  back  to  common  sense,  and  our 
countrymen  to  their  senses  ? 

She,  is  no  doubt  estimable  as  she  is  gifted ;  but  were 
she  instead  the  degraded  cast  off  leman  of  every  royal 
roue  in  Europe,  who  does  not  know,  or  at  least  have 
reason  to  fear,  that  it  would  make  very  little  difference 
in  her  reception  ?  None  the  less  for  that  would  all  the 
lead  and  antimony  in  the  country  feel  bound  to  put 
themselves  in  commotion  and  lead  off  in  most  astonish 
ing  paragraphs,  sufficient  one  would  think,  to  justify 
many  an  "anxious  mamma"  in  taking  out  a  commis 
sion  for  lunacy,  or  resorting  to  the  same  sanative  process 
which  the  Virginia  Esculapius  found  so  efficacious  in 
the  case  of  his  own  volcanic  tempered  spouse. 

There,  now,  we  have  committed  ourselves,  and  the 
"lords"  will  never  forgive  us  if  we  omit  to  say  what 
that  was.  You  see,  "toe"  are  going  to  be  dignified  and 
editorial  a  bit,  just  to  show  the  world  what  it  lost  when 
we  mistook  our  vocation  and  refused  to  practice  awhile 
with  the  "  devils "  above  before  taking  charge  of  the  t 
apes  below ;  but  as  they  are  unquestionably  much  more 
addicted  to  getting  up  those  moral  pyrotechnics  than 


226  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

their  "  better  halves,"  we  merely  advise  the  latter  to  keep 
perfectly  cool  on  the  appearance  of  the  premonitory 
symptoms ;  and  just  summon  a  sufficient  posse  comi- 
tatus  to  seize  the  madman,  shave  his  head,  blister  his 
pate,  pour  cold  water  down  his  back,  apply  mustard  to 
his  feet,  leeches  to  his  temples,  put  him  in  straight- 
jackets,  and  confine  him  to  low  diet  and  close  quarters 
for  several  days  after  the  paroxysm  is  over ;  treating 
him,  in  short,  precisely  like  any  other  maniac  of  the  first 
water,  paying  not  the  slightest  attention  to  his  own  as 
severations  of  perfect  sanity,  further  than  to  reply,  "Oh 
no,  my  dear,  that  can't  be !  My  husband  is  a  gentle 
man,  I  know  he  wouldn't  give  way  to  such  childish  ebul 
litions  of  insane  fury  and  conduct  in  this  shameful 
manne'r  if  he  wasn't  perfectly  deranged!  You  will  be 
better  by-and-by,  love,  (if  you  are  only  patient,)  but  I 
can't  let  you  out  yet,  indeed  I  can't ;  you  are  quite  deli 
rious  now,  I  do  assure  you,  darling! " 

There  is  no  telling  how  many  females  might  have 
been  saved  from  a  lunatic  asylum  by  the  judicious  appli 
cation  of  some  such  regimen  in  early  life;  but  it's  as 
palpable  as  day  that  many  a  wife  and  mother  neglects 
her  husband  and  son  most  culpably  in  this  matter,  till 
he  comes  at  last  to  behave  in  the  family  circle,  (and 
everywhere  else,  for  that  matter,  where  he  can  venture 
without  getting  his  head  broken  for  his  pains,)  more 
like  a  wild  yager  or  snapping  turtle  in  the  hydrophobia, 
than  a  rational  human  being. 

Now  ladies,  this  is  imprudent,  very!  You  may  be  will 
ing  to  pet  and  humor  the  precious  bedlamite,  and  live  in 
such  constant  tremor  of  apprehension  that  it's  like  taking 
your  life  in  your  hand  every  time  you  have  to  speak 
to  him;  but  you  can't  expect  the  whole  world  to  "walk 

V     '*    ' 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  227 

softly  "  before  him,  and  impunity  begets  want  of  circum 
spection,  and  some  day  sweet  little  Moses  Job  might 
forget  "the  better  part  of  valor,"  and  flare  up  and  show 
oft'  before  somebody  besides  helpless,  unoffending  women 
and  children.  And  then  there  would  be  squibs  and 
bowie-knives,  and  epigrams  and  sword-canes,  and  bul 
lets,  and  rejoinders,  and  depositions,  and  all  sorts  of 
murderous  instruments  put  in  requisition;  and  all  be 
cause  you,  in  your  mistaken  kindness,  suffered  the  small 
wound,  which  a  skillful  hand  might  have  cicatrized,  to 
spread,  and  inflame,  and  gangrene  the  whole  moral  and 
intellectual  system,  the  "  little  cloud,  no  bigger  than  a 
man's  hand,"  to  darken  and  overshadow  the  whole  do 
mestic  horizon,  and  pour  out  its  black  and  bitter  waters, 
"  without  let  or  hindrance,"  on  your  very  hearthstone ! 
Yet  this  is  wrong,  all  wrong !  Patience  and  gentleness, 
and  meekness,  and  forbearance,  are  all  very  fine  things 
and  very  well  in  their  place ;  but  when  they  serve  to 
engender,  strengthen  and  perpetuate  an  intolerable 
despotism,  till  the  mailed  hand  never  wearies  in  smiting 
the  fallen,  then  they  are  out  of  place,  and  from  virtues 
degenerate  into  positive  weakness  if  not  actual  vice. 
And  what  man  —  or  what  petty  tyrant  rather — •  whose 
irascibility  has  not  become  a  monomania  admitting  no 
lucid  interval,  but  must  occasionally  feel  his  cheek  tingle 
at  the  recollection  of  how  futile  have  often  been  the  best 
efforts  of  those  whom,  after  all,  he  perhaps  best  loves,  to 
throw  the  "  mantle  of  charity "  over  his  great,  though 
despicable  infirmity,  and  hide  from  the  world  the  iron 
heel  that  never  ceases  to  grind  the  perfume  from  the 
crushed  rose,*  till  there  is  neither  blossom  nor  aroma 
longer  to  be  found  ? 

*  See  Deaf  and  Dumb  Girl's  definition  of  Forgiveness. 


LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 


And  yet  we  don't  go  in  for  a  general  revolt,  concoct 
treason,  instigate  rebellion,  and  preach  up  insurrection 
by  the  wholesale.  Not  but  that  "womankind"  has 
many  and  grievous  wrongs  that  ought  to  be  redressed, 
(or  that  a  few  magazines  of  pitch,  turpentine,  and  salt 
peter  wouldn't  be  amply  sufficient  to  set  the  entire  solar 
system  in  a  blaze,)  but  simply  because  we  see  no  special 
use  in  throwing  the  whole  spheres  into  consternation 
merely  to  strip  off  her  fetters  one  day,  when  it's  morally 
certain  she'd  "gather  the  links  of  the  broken  chain  and 
fasten  them  proudly  round  her"  before  eve  of  the  next. 
So  instead  of  shouting,  "MORE  PRIVILEGE,"  we  rather  in 
cline  to  lop  off  some  of  the  usurped  "prerogative"  for 
honestly  and  soberly  we  never  could  see  the  necessity 
of  her  making,  or  suffering  Plato's  chickens  to  make,  a 
bigger  fool  of  herself  than  nature  ever  intended,  merely 
because  they  are  delighted  with  a  chance  to  sneer  at  her 
for  allowing  them  that  privilege.  No,  nor  why  that  old 
"  wooden  spoon,"  common  law,  should  indulge  a  human 
cone  in  the  perverse,  childish  freak  of  alienating  her 
father's  property  from  her  father's  grandchildren  and 
bestowing  it  on  those  of  some  one,  as  foreign  peril  aps  to 
his  knowledge  or  good-will  as  from  his  blood  and  name, 
and  then  turn  round,  all  in  the  name  of  justice,  and 
string  up  high  as  Hainan,  send  on  his  travels,  or  accom 
modate  with  private  apartments  in  states'  mansions 
gratis,  any  blundering  mal-adroit  human  biped,  guilty 
of  being  caught  making  love  to  his  neighbor's  strong 
box,  or  playing  at  the  Merry  Sherwood  old  game  of 
"  stand  and  deliver."  It's  monstrous  uneven-handed 
justice  at  any  rate,  so  a  grand  demonstration  on  a  small 
scale  is  about  all  I  have  t6  propose. 

Emollients  are  wasted  on  these  chronic  cases  —  the 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  229 

Esculapian  plan  is  excellent,  but  not  always  practicable, 
yet  "  Poison  may,  as  Galen  held,  by  counter  poison  be 
expelled."  And  when  the  distempered  animal  gets  so 
exceedingly  rabid  that  no  one  can  feel  safe,  or  breathe 
freely  for  a  moment  in  his  presence,  and  you  can't  tell 
for  certain  whether  it  was  a  raving  hyena  or  common 
mad-dog  drunk,  that  bit  him,  then  good  wife,  sister,  or 
mother,  our  honest  opinion  is,  that  it's  your  obvious  and 
"bounden  duty"  to  take  the  responsibility,  "hold  the 
mirror  up  to  nature,"  show  your  own  virus,  snap  your 
teeth,  foam  and  froth  at  the  mouth,  and  lead  off  in  a 
startling  exhibition  of  most  frantic  rage.  Or,  in  other 
words,  when  you  see,  (and  you'll  not  need  to  wait  long,) 
that  the  steam  is  rising  very  fast  and  no  mistake,  make 
all  haste  and  be  the  first  to  explode — it  may  be  that  the 
suddenness  and  fury  of  the  concussion  will  shock  the 
frenzied  malade  into  his  sober  senses.  "Yes,  but  scenes 
are  so  appalling  and  disgraceful!"  Exactly  so,  and 
that's  the  very  reason  why  audacity  should  succeed  where 
servility  fails.  "  Coals  of  fire  "  don't  burn  a  salamander, 
give  the  reptile  a  full  charge  of  electricity  with  a  slight 
touch  of  galvanism,  and  then  see. 

Only  once  gather  courage  from  desperation,  cease 
licking  the  foot  under  which  you  writhe,  turn  upon 
power,  beard  the  lion  in  his  den,  or  rather  the  tiger  in 
his  lair,  and,  (there  being  no  room  to  get  worse,)  the 
chances  are  that  the  fractious,  insensate  brute  may,  in 
process  of  time,  become  quite  a  respectable,  well-be 
haved — bear.  But  oh,  you'll  never  do  it!  and  here's 
all  this  good  breath  —  no,  ink,  for  we  wouldn't  have 
talked  that  much  at  one  time  for  all  the  wasps,  hornets, 
and  self-igniting  lucifer  matches  in  creation — wasted 
upon  you  for  nothing !  Well,  it  can't  be  helped ;  but 


230  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

as  long  as  critical  investigation  of  the  lusus  called  ones- 
self,  brings  some  outsiders,  with  the  very  best  intentions 
of  thinking  just  as  well  of  themselves  as  the  case  will 
possibly  admit,  to  the  mortifying  conclusion  that  they 
really  have  not  any  decided  penchant  for  being  kicked 
and  cursed  one  minute  and  petted  and  blarneyed  the 
next ;  its  a  great  pity  the  effect  of  these  interesting,  racy, 
little  scenic  domesticice  couldn't  be  patented  for  the  ex 
clusive  use  and  benefit  of  those  who  have. 

But  a  truce  to  common  madmen,  Lindomaniacs  are  all 
the  rage  just  now.  Look  how 

"  They  rave,  recite,  and  madden  through  the  land!" 

If  any  half-dozen  of  their  effusions  (taken  consecu 
tively)  wouldn't  thrown  an  ordinarily  impressible  mortal 
into  a  brain  fever,  then  inflammatory  diseases  can't  be 
contagious,  that's  certain.  Indeed  it's  quite  doubtful 
whether  he  could  digest  all  the  paradoxical  and  con 
flicting  statements  found  in  a  single  one,  without  feel 
ing  a  slight  stricture  in  the  region  of  his  gullibility — 
unless  he  happened  to  wear  double  "glorification  specs" 
which  would  take  him  straight  through  at  a  single 
glance.  But  are  the  "  sons"  nowhere  we  should  like  to 
know,  that  all  these  lords  of  the  tripod  are  thus  laying 
aside  composition  sticks  and  cold  water,  and  taking  to 
opera-glasses  and  champagne  with  impunity?  How 
ever,  we  can't  waste  any  more  time  upon  you,  just 
now,  Messieurs  les  Typos,  so  stand  aside  till  your 
betters  are  served — divinity  befofe  humanity  always. 

And  that's  the  reason  why  there's  no  place  in  the 
round  world  half  so  suitable  as  "  Freedom's  area,"  for 
getting  up  tempests  in  teapots,  canonizations,  apotheoses, 
and  such  like  moral  phenomena,  in  the  shortest  pos 
sible  time  and  most  unexceptionable  style;  for  every- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  231 

body  knows  we  are  the  wisest,  best,  most  virtuons,  and 
enlightened  nation  under  heaven,  we  have  settled  that 
question  long  ago  to  our  own  entire  satisfaction.  Poor 
Artists  might,  to  be  sure,  prefer  an  arrangement  which 
would  divest  them  of  animal  wants  a  little  sooner  ;  but 
that  sordid  reflection  never  troubled  Jenny  Lind,  who 
had,  it  seems,  friends  able  to  send  her  abroad  to  take 
music  lessons  in  childhood.  Stop,  there's  a  mistake  at 
the  very  first  outset — "  she  made  her  own  way  in  the 
world!"  Oh  she  did,  did  she?  It  was  quite  fortunate 
for  her  then,  that  we  did  allow  Europe  to  retain  the 
initiative,  and  confer  the  preliminary  degrees ;  and  all 
owing  to  our  being  an  age  or  two  "  behind  the  times," 
that  we  never  heard  before,  that  this  same  "  nightingale 
of  Sweden"  ever  did  fly  from  the  spires  of  Stockholm 
to  the  cross  of  Notre  Dame,  live  upon  insects,  sip 
honey-dew,  perch  out  of  nights,  and  carol  from  the 
topmost  twig  of  some  umbrageous  bough  to  admiring 
earth-worms  below,  as  a  bird  of  her  prerogative  had  a 
most  undoubted  right.  "  How  absurd,  just  as  if  a  bird 
of  song  didn't  have  to  have  its  callow  days."  And 
besides,  she  cuts  no  such  ridiculous  antics  now  that 
she's  full-fledged,  but  behaves  (and  that's  much  to  her 
credit)  very  like  an  ordinary  mortal,  and  quite  as 
modestly  and  sensibly  as  any  body  could  while  so  sadly 
bored  with  all  this  vulgar  parade  and  sycophancy. 
"Well  then,  these  facts  and  the  habits  of  the  nineteenth 
century  altogether  taken  into  consideration,  it  is  rather 
probable  that  that  trip  to  Paris  cost  money  (not  to 
mention  personal  protection),  or  if  it  didn't  we  should 
like  to  know,  and  may  be  stepping  over  ourselves  some 
of  these  days.  But  ex  nihil  nihilfit,  said  the  ancient 
heathen,  and  hard  cash  and  bank  notes  are  not  nothing^ 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

or  we  should  have  had  our  hands  full  long  ago.  And 
being  something,  as  anybody  may  find  to  his  cost  if  ho 
attempts  to  appropriate,  except  in  a  legal  way,  more  than 
belongs  to  him,  the  presumption  is  that  they  must  have 
come  from  somewhere.  She  did  not  pour  liquid  gold  from 
her  throat  in  those  days,  and  if  she  evolved  it  from  "  her 
own  self-sustaining  powers"  in  any  other  form,  where 
was  Barnum  then,  that  we  never  heard  of  this  astonishing 
peasant  child,  able  to  place  herself  under  the  first  musical 
tuition  of  the  age,  never  till  she  became  a  woman,  and 
had  undergone  the  first  metempsychosis  ?  But  perhaps 
her  parents  sent  her,  though  we  shouldn't  exactly  infer 
it  from  the  phrase  " alone  and  unaided"  No  indeed 
(and  worse  and  worse,  we  shall  never  get  through  with 
out  those  specs).  "  They  were  poor,  quite  poor,  and  owe 
their  present  competence  to  her  talent  and  filial  affec 
tion!"  And  suppose  they  didn't,  who  is  going  to 
admit  that  a  Swedish  peasant,  or  Russian  serf  could 
by  any  possibility  of  means,  be  any  better  off  in  any 
respect  than  our  American  yeomen,  who  often  find  it 
difficult,  as  everybody  knows,  to  educate  a  child  thirty 
or  forty  miles  from  home  at  an  inexpensive  country 
boarding-school  ?  For  what  would  all  the  "free  and 
enlightened"  do,  if  they  couldn't  have  southern  slaves, 
and  "  the  down  trodden  vassals  of  European  despotism" 
for  safety-valves  commensurate  with  the  largest  liberty  of 
their  own  universal  sympathy?  Then,  if  she  didn't, 
and  they  couldn't  play  the  divinia  pecunia  on  the  occa 
sion,  who  did  ?  Somebody  must,  for  to  Paris  she  went, 
there's  no  getting  round  that  fact ;  though  there  was  no 
"  extraneous  assistance"  in  all  that,  of  course  not ! 

Madame,  the  vocalist  however,  sent  her  back  with 
the  injunction  "  not  to  open  her  mouth  again  to  sing, 


»  * 

LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  233 

for  three  years."  Her  divinityship,  be  it  remembered, 
was  still  in  abeyance,  for  she  hadn't  touched  "the  shores 
of  freedom"  yet ;  but  if  the  faithful  insist  notwithstand 
ing,  that  she  lived  all  that  time  on  nectar  and  ambrosia, 
we  promise  to  give  in — misbelieving  infidel  that  we 
are — just  as  soon  as  they  demonstrate,  past  possibility 
of  cavil,  the  ability  of  their  own  intellectuality  and 
spirituality  combined,  to  support  vitality  for  a  single 
month  even.  Till  then,  we  shall  have  strong  misgivings 
that  her  parents,  or  somebody  else,  must  have  con 
tributed,  partially  or  indirectly  at  least,  to  her  support 
during  that  long  probation ;  and  that,  according  to 
Beaumarchais,  was  something,  still  there  was  "  no  pa 
tronage"  there — oh  none  in  the  world.* 

But  suppose  the  vulgar  necessity  of  eating  and  drink 
ing  (not  to  mention  the  convenience  of  some  little 
shelter  and  clothing  in  a  climate  as  cold  as  that  of 
Sweden),  had  actually  compelled  her  to  violate  again 
and  again  that  judicious  restriction ;  or  resort,  for  the 
miserable  pittance  of  her  daily  bread,  to  some  other 
avocation  equally  fatal  to  the  full  developernent  of  that 
rare  physical  organization,  on  which  her  artistic  ex 
cellence  so  eminently  depends  !  What  then  had  become 
of  all  her  rich  gift  of  genius  ?  Where  then  had  been 
this  glorious  child  of  song  ?  Gone — crushed  into  the 
grave  by  the  stern  hand  of  poverty,  that  lays  its  fell 
gripe  on  the  heartstrings,  and  wrings  out  the  very  life  of 
life  from  the  secret  soul  of  existence.  Or  worse — 
chained  down  to  menial  toil,  mid  the  undistinguished 

*  "  You  think  yourself  a  great  man,  M.  le  Comte,  because  you  are  a 
Grand  Seigneur,  morbleu!  It  has  cost  me,  a  simple  unit  in  the  great 
mass,  a  greater  expenditure  of  skill  and  judgment  to  exist  merely  than 
has  been  employed  for  these  hundred  years  in  governing  all  the  Spains." 


234  LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

throng,  her  heart  turned  to  gall,  her  very  brain  o*n  fire 
with  the  recollection  of  what  might  have  been,  and  the 
untold  agony  of  that  life-long-yearning,  for  the  wild,  free 
gush  of  that  matchless  minstrelsy,  whose  tones  haunt 
all  her  sleeping  and  waking  dreams ;  but  must  never, 
never  thrill  upon  mortal  ear.  That  is  "  where,"  that  is 
"what"  not  only  might,  but  must  have  been,  what  the 
unsealed  records  of  eternity  no  doubt  will  show  has 
often  been,  when  there  was  no  discriminating  hand  to 
shelter  and  protect  the  common,  perhaps  unsightly  shell, 
while  the  unseen  chrysolite  within  was  working  out  its 
own  peculiar  idea  of  glory,  and  of  beauty. 

She  was  spared  all  this ;  yet  she,  we  are  gravely  told, 
"  had  no  patronage  "  and  the  Press  and  the  drawing- 
room  re-echo  the  tale,  till  the  ear  wearies  of  its  flagitious 
dissonance.  "No  patronage?"  Do  men  know  what 
they  are  talking  about,  when  asserting  such  nonsense  as 
this  ?  Do  they  not  know,  it  is  a  burning  insult  (not  of 
incense)  to  the  idol  their  own  hands  have  set  up  for  the 
"  many-headed  monster"  to  bedin  with  its  ostentatious 
homage  of  the  hour  ?  Do  they  not  see,  that  it  is  virtu 
ally  telling  the  crowned  victor  in  life's  warfare,  "  what 
you  have  achieved  is  so  very  little  that  we  cannot  pos 
sibly  make  you  out  a  respectable  psean,  without  adding 
the  ascription  of  all  manner  of  impossibilities!" 

But  were  their  .folly  and  impertinence  all,  they,  and 
their  absurd  panegyrics  and  corollaries  might  pass. 
Unfortunately  they  are  not — they  are  instinct  with  con 
ceit — the  very  incarnation  of  ingratitude,  a  mocking 
insult  to  the  generous  and  noble  few  who  have  "done 
•what  they  could"  to  start  the  winner  toward  the  goal ! 
"What  if  their  offerings  were  simple  and  small,  their 
efforts  crude,  or  weak,  and  not  always  successful  ?  Do 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  235 

they  deserve  for  that,  to  have  them  tossed  back  in  de 
rision,  or  taunted  as  nothing  worth?  The  "widow's 
mite,"  the  kindly  word,  the  cheering  tone,  the  hoping 
love,  the  working  zeal,  of  some  humble  Mend,  some 
sister  artist  it  may  be,  who  had  "  the  discerning  of 
spirits,"  shall  all  these  pass  away  and  be  forgotten  "  as 
a  tale  that  is  told,"  lest  the  "still  small  voice"  say  unto 
us — "go  thou  and  do  likewise?" 

The  diamond  of  genius  cuts  its  trace  in  the  future, 
the  pearl  of  the  soul  leaves  its  record  on  high;  for  soul 
is  loftier  than  intellect,  and  this  it  is,  that  enables  men 
to  contribute,  not  grudgingly,  not  ignorantly,  but  freely, 
"  knowingly  and  advisedly,"  to  the  furtherance  of  a 
fortune  and  a  fame  destined  erelong  to  o'ershadow  their 
own.  And  shall  not  their  deeds  be  remembered,  aye 
and  recorded  too,  on  earth  as  well  as  in  heaven.  These 
are  the  men,  these  the  women,  but  for  whom  many  a 
benefactor  and  pride  of  his  race  had  gone  down,  an  idle 
dreamer,  to  the  silent  dust — sneered  at  in  life,  derided 
in  death,  insulted  in  the  grave — his  very  name  made 
"a  by-word  and  jest "  for  all  visionary  scheming.  All 
honor  and  glory  to  such — they  are  the  Livingstons  to 
Fulton,  the  Isabellas  to  Columbus ;  RENOWN  is  their 
right,  why  is  it  withheld  ? 

"A  nameless  man  amid  a  crowd 

That  thronged  the  daily  mart, 
Let  fall  a  word  of  hope  and  love, 

Unstudied  from  the  heart : — 
The  deed  was  small,  the  issue  great, 

A  transitory  breath, 
It  raised  a  brother  from  the  dust, 

And  saved  a  soul  from  death. 
Oh  deed,  oh  tone,  oh  word  of  love, 

Oh  thought  at  random  cast, 


236  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Ye  are  but  little  at  the  first, 
But  mighty  at  the  last !"  * 

And  now,  Mr.  Penny-a-liner,  we'll  attend  to  your 
case.  You  sport  the  Irishman's  coat  of  arms,  (Ignor 
ance  and  Impudence,)  "with  an  air  of  great  dagnity;" 
but  when  did  you  ever  extend  a  helping-hand  to  a  young 
aspirant,  unless  it  was  to  help  him  off  the  track  ?  "We've 
an  eye-upon  a  niche  in  glory's  temple  that  will  suit  you 
exactly,  and  no  doubt  but  your  sapience  will  become  the 
pillory  uncommonly  well ;  yet  stay,  you  don't  deserve  to 
be  seen  anywhere  in  the  same  cycloid  with  the  afore 
mentioned  good  company,  so  e'en  go  your  ways,  for  a 
nice  little  mannikin  as  you  are.  We  are  not  general 
reviewer,  (though  that's  because  our  merits  haven't 
got  properly  abroad  yet,)  so  can  afford  to  practice  mod 
eration,  and  there's  no  use,  as  somebody  observes,  "in 
breaking  a  butterfly  on  a  wheel."  No,  nor  of  trying  to 
stuff  more  than  half  a  dozen  sheets  into  one  single  en 
velope.  So  you  can  be  reading  these  and  praying  for 
sunshine,  for  if  it  doesn't  come,  it's  just  as  clear  as 
"manifest  destiny,"  (in  cloudy  weather,)  that  you  will 
be  very  apt  to  get  the  remainder.  Mais  nous  verrons. 

PART  SECONB— DATE  THE  5TH. 

Well,  my  dear,  you  do  see,  "it  never  rains  but  it 
pours,"  and  this  time  it  never  has  left  off,  though  it's 
the  first  I  ever  knew  but  what  did. 

Answering  your  next  question  is  very  like  telling  tales 
out  of  school;  but  as  I  am  a  sort  of  outlaw  that  doesn't 
even  count  in  the  census  for  the  last  ten  or  fifteen  years,  I 
suppose  it  makes  no  difference  what  I  say,  and  I  do  gene- 

*  See  Charles  Mackay's  "  Song  of  Life." 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  237 

rally  find  people  very  kind,  especially  during  the  first  sick 
ness  I  have  in  any  one  family.  But  then  they  expect  you'll 
have  the  grace  to  get  well  or  die,  (as  a  good  Christian 
should,)  and  there  being,  unluckily,  more  tenacity  than 
elasticity  in  my  constitution,  I,  unfortunately,  do  neither; 
and  when  the  crisis  is  past,  and  there  is  nothing  the 
matter  only  you  don't  get  well,  they  are  apt  to  "  wax 
weary  in  well  doing." 

For  example :  when  you  have  once — after  half  a  dozen 
different  efforts,  perhaps — achieved  the  exploit  of  dress 
ing  and  getting  down  stairs,  you  may  crawl  up  again 
"on  all-fours" — not  "choose  any  supper,"  have  "no 
appetite  for  breakfast,"  and  "care  very  little  for  dinner," 
for  weeks  together,  before  anybody  seems  to  notice  that 
you  are  not  perfectly  re-established ;  and  if — as  is  very 
probable  under  such  circumstances — you  take  a  relapse, 
it  is  a  most  infallible  signal  for  "the  best  servant"  to 
be  taken  sick,  or  "  out  into  the  field,"  and  the  family  to 
discover  that  they  "are  not  fixed  for  taking  boarders, 
and  don't  like  to  have  people  about  them  unless  they 
can  do  them  justice."  The  house,  too,  gets,  all  of  a 
sudden,  entirely  too  small  for  your  accommodation,  and, 
as  you  haven't  grown  any  larger,  the  probability  is,  that 
it  has  become  smaller — shrunk  up,  perhaps,  in  the 
night,  like  the  old  iron  dungeon  of  Este,  or  crept  off  in 
part  to  the  usual  receptacle;  for,  wherever  else  ua 
room"  may  be  wanting,  you  will  be  sure  to  find  one 
in  the  mouth  of  the  speaker  on  these  occasions.  Just 
then  it  happens  to  be  recollected,  too,  that  the  "  very 
agreeable  boarder"  was  originally  from  the  North — a 
fact  which  demonstrates  her,  per  se,  to  be  "  ten  times 
more  trouble  than  ordinary : "  of  course,  you  can't  won 
der  they  "  should  prefer  (though  more  for  your  sake 
20 


238  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

than  their  own.)  that  you  should  look  you  out  another 
boarding-house." 

This  agreeable  intimation,  being  an  excellent  sedative 
for  a  highly  nervous  and  very  sensitive  invalid,  is  gene 
rally  administered  when  compliance  is  utterly  inexpe 
dient,  if  not  wholly  impracticable ;  from  whence  I  infer 
that  it  is  either  meant  to  elicit  an  advance  upon  existing 
prices,  or  as  a  pretty  explicit  hint  that  you  are  no  longer 
to  indulge  in  the  hallucination  that  you  have  some  rights 
merely  because  you  happen  to  pay  for  them.  The  first 
being  rarely  optional  with  one  compelled  to  live  with 
the  whole  "  heart,  mind  and  soul,"  out  on  "  committee 
of  ways  and  means  "  how  to  make  or  save  a  picayune, 
submission  to  the  second  is  the  almost  inevitable  conse 
quence  ;  and  thenceforth  you  are  to  recollect  that  you 
are  there  upon  toleration,  like  some  "  poor  relation  "  or 
unwelcome  visitor  who  has  protracted  his  stay  beyond 
all  reasonable  bounds,  and  demean  yourself  accordingly. 
Find  it  perfectly  convenient  to  sit  on  a  trunk,  write  on  a 
band-box,  hold  a  candle  in  one  hand,  pen  or  needle  in 
the  other ;  use  your  scissors  for  snuffers,  feet  and  fingers 
for  tongs;  "never  ken  it  or  care"  if  every  fractured, 
jagged-edged  cup,  loose-handled  knife,  broken-tined 
fork,  and  brassy,  dissipated  old  spoon  on  the  premises, 
happen,  by  some  strange  fatality,  invariably  to  fall  to 
your  share;  nor  feel  the  least  surprised  should  your 
pitcher  decamp  without  saying  "by  your  leave" — your 
carpet  and  andirons  (if  ever  you  had  any,)  see  fit  to 
emigrate — your  looking-glass,  and  other  toilette  accesso 
ries  more  purely  personal,  take  to  gadding,  and  feel 
deeply  aggrieved  by  a  hint  to  return — your  " uncannie" 
tumbler,  candlestick,  inkstand,  and  other  utensils,  have 
the  impertinence  to  make  themselves  invisible,  change 


LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES.  239 

characters,  and  commit  all  sorts  of  diablerie  before 
your  very  face  and  eyes,  and  even  your  decent,  well- 
behaved,  good,  honest,  Christian-looking  wash-bowl 
spirit  itself  off  to  parts  unknown,  or  be  transformed, 
"by  wicked  cantrip  sleight,"  into  a  leaky,  battered, 
rusty  old  basin,  much  addicted  to  absenteeism',  for 
neither  nor  all  of  these  things  would  be  half  so  miracu 
lous  as  the  finding  in  your  room  all,  or  a  majority  even, 
of  the  article^  named,  in  the  very  height  of  your  palm 
iest  days. 

The  not  being  "fixed"  is  a  "  true  bill ; "  for  the  resi 
due  of  the  intimation,  set  that  all  down  as  so  much 
moonshine  or  unalloyed  rusticity ;  and,  rest  assured,  the 
very  atmosphere  of  our  larger  towns  and  villages  is  too 
polished,  by  far,  to  allow  such  excessive  verdancy  any 
thing  more  than  "  short  shrift"  and  speedy  dissolution. 
Not  but  that  a  fair  proportion  of  the  more  genteel  fami 
lies*  will,  for  a  proper  "  consid-er-a-tion"  do  themselves 
the  very  great  indignity  to  take  a  few  boarders,  merely 
to  accommodate  the  public,  for  the  sake  of  company, 
or  out  of  special  liking  for  the  individual — just,  for  in 
stance,  as  every  superfluous  feminine  of  the  North  inva 
riably  pilgrimates  South,  or  West,  for  the  benefit  of 
her  health,  not  "to  seek  her  fortune,"  or  hide  her  pov 
erty  and  pride  by  any  manner  of  means. 

Half  of  them  may,  it  is  true,  have  little  or  no  other 
means  for  keeping  up  their  tables  or  toilettes,  or  perhaps 
both  ;  but  then  they'd  have  you  to  know — they  would, 
indeed — that  it's  a  very  great  condescension  for  every 
body  in  the  South-West,  themselves  in  particular,  to 
take  boarders  at  all ;  so  you  must  expect  to  sue  very 
humbly,  walk  very  circumspectly,  and  pay  very  roundly 
for  the  privilege  of  sleeping — if  sleep  one  of  your  humble 


240  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

pretensions  can — under  a  roof  of  such  aristocratic  "  three 
pile  glass"  as  theirs!  It  may  leak  a  little,  to  be  sure, 
though  that's  neither  here  nor  there ;  but,  as  to  the  com 
promise  of  dignity  j  it  strikes  me,  that,  if  mine  were  of 
that  ephemeral,  mushroom  cast,  that  vanishes  before  the 
first  sunshine  of  utility,  I  should  make  shipwreck  of  the 
whole  concern,  and  commence  de  novo.  For  the  rest — 
is  it  not  a  pity,  that,  when  people  do  actually  do  you  a 
favor,  they  will  not  allow  you  to  feel  a  little  grateful, 
instead  of  annihilating  their  own  claims  and  merging 
your  gratitude  in  a  painful  sense  obligation,  by  remind 
ing  you  ever  after  of  their  own  unexampled  kindness 
and  liberality,  and  your  helplessness  and  dependence? 
How  any  sensible  person  can  subscribe  to  the  absurd 
vagary,  that  Northern  ladies  generally  make  more  trou 
blesome  boarders  than  Southern  ones,  I  cannot,  for  the 
life  of  me,  conceive,  unless  it  is  because  the  former  do 
sometimes  "  do  up  "  their  own  muslins  and  laces,  make 
their  own  beds,  sweep  and  dust  their  rooms,  and  keep 
their  brushes,  combs,  washstands  and  dressing-tables 
(alias  mantle-pieces)  in  order,  which  the  latter  seldom  or 
never  do  when  boarding  out  of  their  own  family  connec 
tion.  Nor  should  any  one  of  the  others,  unless  ambi 
tious  of  being  considered  "one  of  the  family,"  at  the 
expense  of  officiating  as  universal  convenience,  unpen- 
sioned  seamstress,  and  standing  subject  of  aggression 
ever  after.  With  you  such  a  series  of  encroachments 
on  gratuitous  exertion  might  originate  in  avarice ;  here, 
I  am  inclined  to  think,  it  arises  much  oftener  from  a 
thoughtless  unconsciousness  or  disregard  of  the  peculiar 
value  of  time  and  effort  to  those  who  have  little  of  either 
at  their  own  disposal :  but  the  result  is  the  same,  and 
the  safest  way  is,  to  ignore  everything  that  is  passing 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  241 

around  you;  know  nothing,  do  nothing,  and  have  it 
understood  that  your  whole  genius  lies  in  saving  stitches ; 
for  if  you  once  suffer  innate  taste,  good  nature  or  love 
of  order  to  betray  you  into  neglecting  your  own  health 
or  personal  affairs  for  the  execution  of  various  little, 
frivolous  matters — constituting  an  aggregate  for  which 
a  regular  employee  would  expect  (though  you,  of  course, 
would  not,)  something  more  substantial  than  mere  com 
pliments  in  return — there  is  no  more  otium  cum  dig- 
nitate  for  you,  though  there  may  be  such  a  thing  as  a 
"fugitive  from  labor"  in  the  mind's  eye  of  others.  And 
should  you  subsequently  venture  to  aggravate  defection, 
by  expecting  the  same  attention  that  others,  who  never 
raise  a  finger  in  like  manner,  receive  for  the  same  spe 
cific  equivalent,  the  proceeding  will,  to  a  moral  cer 
tainty,  be  ridiculed  as  a  "  putting  on  of  airs,"  if  not 
resented  as  a  downright  imposition. 

Yet,  one  might,  reasonably  enough,  suppose  that 
either  of  the  afore-mentioned  idiosyncracies — enuring, 
as  it  ultimately  must,  to  the  benefit  of  the  mistress 
by  the  relief  of  her  servants — ought  to  atone  for  a  little 
extravagance  in  the  use  of  cold  water,  especially  when 
the  consumer,  as  is  often  the  case,  helps  herself.  But 
you  who  were  "  to  the  manner  born,"  and  have  not,  in 
all  probability,  mended  your  ways  or  rectified  your 
opinions  by  a  residence  in  the  domains  of  her  majesty, 
Queen  Yictoria,  have  no  conception  how  eccentric,  not 
to  say  improper,  it  is  to  persist  in  the  whimsey  that  a 
pint  of  water  is  rather  a  limited  allowance  for  a  proper 
ablution,  and  disrelish  the  idea  of  having  half  a  dozen 
pair  of  eyes  watching  every  evolution  of  its  progress,  or 
your  instinctive  delicacy  so  often  outraged  by  being 
burst  in  upon,  that  you  get  at  last  to  feel  quite  present- 


242  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

able  if  only  caught  in  one  remove  from  a  "birth -day 
suit."  Some  foreign  travelers  do,  to  be  sure,  complain 
of  being  not  a  little  annoyed  and  restricted  in  these 
matters ;  but  then,  poor,  ignorant,  benighted  creatures, 
they  can't  be  expected  to  know  any  better;  though 
everybody  in  "this  enlightened  land"  ought  to  know 
that  there  isn't  the  slightest  occasion  for  us  who  live  in 
these  bilious  climes,  to  be  half  as  particular  in  prevent 
ing  the  reabsorption  of  poisonous  exhalations  as  are 
the  infatuated  children  of  Aquarius  who  reside  in  colder 
regions. 

Putting  away  their  scissors,  thimbles,  bonnets,  shawls, 
etc.,  is  another  exceptionality  of  the  aforesaids ;  conse 
quently,  they  are  seldom  or  never  accessory  to  getting 
up  one  of  those  u  general  carraras,"  in  which  the  whole 
posse  of  "  house-hands,"  assisted  by  a  strong  deputation 
from  the  kitchen,  amuse  themselves  by  the  hour,  in 
running  over  each  other  at  every  turn  a$d  corner,  stir 
ring  up  trunks,  upsetting  band-boxes,  diving  into  "  old 
clothes-nests,"  whirling  drawers  topsy-turvy,  turning  the 
whole  house  upside  down  and  inside  out,  ransacking 
every  hole  and  corner,  and  all  to  "get  uj>"  a  mislaid 
glove  or  missing  pocket-handkerchief  1 

To  see  the  scene  in  all  its  glory,  you  should  have  my 
lord  and  master  striding  up  and  down  between  the  house 
and  carriage  every  five  or  ten  minutes,  looking  "  black 
as  forty  thunderbolts ; "  or,  if  he  chance  to  be  "  one  of 
your  patient,  all-enduring  men,"  drawing  himself  up 
into  the  smallest  possible  compass,  and  keeping  "out 
of  harm's  way"  with  most  exemplary  presence  of  mind, 
yet  every  now  and  then  furtively  eyeing  the  progress  of 
the  hurricane,  with  such  "  a  laughing  devil  in  his  sneer," 
that  the  poor,  half-crazed  delinquent  feels,  for  the  mo- 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  243 

ment,  as  if  "hanging,  drawing  and  quartering"  would 
be  a  hundred  thousand  times  too  good  for  him ! 

You  may  chance  to  know  that  these  grand  bouleverse- 
ments  are  not  peculiar  to  Southern  households,  and  1 
wouldn't,  for  the  world,  insinuate  that  they  are  matters 
of  every-day  occurrence  even  there,  only  that  I  believe 
I  have  seen  something  of  the  sort,  and  should  infer, 
from  the  general  effect,  that  the  absence  of  the  Tidbit 
whioh  forms  the  primum  mobile  ought,  in  common 
justice,  to  be  considered  a  fair  set-off  against  the  enor 
mity  of  requiring  to  have  some  small  space  where  you 
can  "  commune  with  your  own  heart  in  your  chamber, 
and  be  still" — 'Some  quiet  retreat  to  which  you  can 
sometimes  retire  from  the  senseless  clamor  of  idle 
tongues  and  the  weary  nothings  of  commonplace,  and 
think  your  own  thoughts,  free  from  the  galling  surveil 
lance  of  those  everlasting  human  eyes,  forever  watching 
every  flitting  shade  of  expression,  and  taking  away  from 
your  very  soul  all  consciousness  of  security,  all  thought 
of  secrecy — some  little  sanctuary,  in  short,  from  which 
you  can  occasionally  venture  to  exclude  all  the  world, 
and  feel  alone  with  yourself  and  your  God  ! 

If  there  is  any  other  peculiarity  in  the  exactions  of  a 
Northern  boarder,  I  have  been  trying  in  vain,  for  the 
last  fifteen  years,  to  discover  what  it  is,  and  presume 
the  extra  trouble  must  lie  in  the  Southern  lady's  own 
utter  inability  to  appreciate  the  feeling  which  makes 
privacy  and  free  ablution  necessaries  of  life  to  one 
born  and  educated  farther  North.  The  following  anec 
dote  will,  better  than  anything  else,  illustrate  the  great 
disparity  of  idea  and  habit  between  the  two  on  this 
point. 

Some  years  since,  when  it  took  much  longer  to  de- 


244  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

scend  "La  Belle  Riviere"  than  at  present,  (especially 
if  filled  with  ice),  I  met  a  very  pleasant  party  from  the 
shores  of  the  Chesapeake,  and  an  equally  agreeable 
lady,  who  was  making  her  first  egress  from  the  refined 
and  literary  emporium  of  the  Bay  State.  The  first  day 
all  went  on  charmingly ;  but  on  the  second,  Madame, 
the  Yengese,  began  to  draw  off  perceptibly,  and  on 
each  succeeding  one  to  wax  colder  and  colder.  Believ 
ing  that  "murder  will  out,"  I  said  nothing;  though 
having  emerged  from  my  own  room  just  in  time  to  wit 
ness  her  shocked  and  surprised  looks,  on  finding  the 
whole  of  the  other  party  "  out  in  the  public  cabin, 
among  strangers,"  going  through,  very  deliberately, 
and  with  the  utmost  nonchalance,  all  the  minutiae  of  a 
rather  elaborate  traveling  toilette,  of  which  "  WASHING 
formed  one  of  the  later  and  least  considerable  opera 
tions,"  I  was  not  very  much  puzzled  to  divine  the  cause. 
Indeed,  it  was  quite  amusing  to  contrast  the  nervous 
apprehension  with  which  she  watched  the  folding-doors, 
lest  any  eye  profane  should  chance  to  glance  on  beau 
ties  too  entirely  unadorned  to  suit  her  taste,  with  their 
manifest  indifference  to  the  passing  and  repassing  of 
chambermaids,  and  their  suffering  the  impatient  steward 
to  poke  his  head  in  every  few  minutes,  and  inquire  "  if 
the  ladies  were  all  ready,"  just  as  unconcernedly  as  if  it 
were  only  a  cloud  passing  over  the  face  of  the  moon ! 
About  the  third  day,  I  think  it  was,  mortal  woman 
could  stand  it  no  longer  ;  so  she  kindly  drew  me  aside, 
to  shield  my  youth  and  inexperience  from  further  con 
tamination,  by  imparting  her  "deliberate  conviction 
that  we  had  unfortunately  fallen  in  company  with  a 
band  of  traveling  courtesans  1 " 
I  believe  she  did,  at  last,  admit  that  "there  might, 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  245 

possibly,  be  physical  purity  existing  under  such  cir 
cumstances ;  but  she  was  sure,  quite  sure,  there  could 
be  no  real  purity  of  thought,  where  the  natural  and  in 
stinctive  delicacy  of  woman  was  so  grossly,  wantonly, 
habitually,  and  even  unconsciously  outraged!"  Per 
haps  she  would  have  thought  differently,  had  she  known 
what  an  extensive  list  of  words  and  phrases  Southern 
ladies  have  interdicted  for  indelicacy,  though  I  never 
could  see  wherein  they  were  so  much  worse  behaved 
than  other  English  ;  and  no  doubt  commit  many  an 
egregious  and  indecent  blunder,  from  pure  inability  to 
recollect  which  of  two  synonymous  expressions,  is  the 
tabooed  term. 

But  "  honor  to  whom  honor,"  and  according  to  the 
best  of  my  belief,  observation,  and  information  thus  far, 
no  southern  'born  female — and  mind  I  don't  say  lady, 
for  ladies  are  not  addicted  to  such  habits  anywhere 
that  I  know  of — ever  outrages  decorum  as  too  many 
northern  mothers  often  do,  while  nursing  their  infants 
in  the  presence  of  whoever  may  chance  to  look  on,  with 
out  ever  seeming  to  suspect,  what  unspeakable  felicity 
it  would  afford  the  spectator,  to  dash  a  whole  bucketful 
of  water  upon  them,  by  way  of  making  them  turn  aside, 
or  cover  themselves  up,  for  once  at  least,  if  not  always 
convenient  to  leave  the  room  on  such  an  occasion.  But 
no — there  they  sit,  half  naked,  with  the  utmost  com 
posure,  and  never  dream  that  they,  and  their  children 
reared  under  such  auspices,  are  not  perfect  models  of  re 
finement;  and  abundantly  well  qualified  by  a  little 
book-learning  to  set  up  for  censors  of  the  manners, 
morals  and  customs  of  the  South.  Yet  if  there  is  one 
thing  more  intensely  disgusting  than  another,  it  is,  to 
see  a  great,  greasy,  swarthy-looking  hag,  or  little 
21 


246  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

shriveled,  dried  up  mummy  of  a  thing,  strip  herself  to 
the  waist — or  suffer  some  great  calf  of  a  yearling,  whom 
any  reasonable  mortal  would  take  for  her  grandchild,  to 
do  it  for  her — and  leave  her  whole  chest  exposed  to 
occupy  the  hands  as  well  as  mouth,  of  "mother's 
precious  angel  darling"  while  her  own  are  busy  pat 
ting  and  toying  with  its  nakedness,  just  as  if  she  thought 
herself,  and  the  dirty,  ugly,  "  regular  tartar  and  brim 
stone"  little  wretch,  perfect  MODEL  ABTISTS,  and  every 
body  else  as  fond  as  herself  of  such  exhibitions. 
Pshaw!  It's  worse,  if  possible,  than  seeing  a  great 
chuckle-head,  amber-distillery,  blear-eyed,  blubber-lip 
ped,  unwieldy,  porpoise  of  a  man,  or  a  bouncing,  wheez 
ing,  if  not  skinny,  rawboued,  old  witch  of  a  woman, 
with  a  map  of  all  the  lines  and  angles  of  geometry  in  her 
face,  "  billing  and  cooing."  It's  a  wonder  to  me,  that 
nuisances  of  both  classes  don't  get  shot  down,  or  disap 
pear  by  the  dozens,  in  communities  that  encourage 
scavengers  and  tolerate  whole  hordes  of  rising  young 
surgeons,  who  havn't  possessed  themselves,  as  yet,  of  a 
"  dear  deceased"  in  their  own  right.  Possibly  the  for 
mer  may  scoop  up  a  nauseous  excrescence  now  and 
then ;  but  the  latter  always  fail,  it  is  presumed,  in 
nerving  themselves  up  to  touching  anything  so  intole 
rably  loathsome  even  with  the  scalpel  and  dissecting- 
knife. 

Be  that  as  it  may,  and  other  things  as  they  will,  these 
remarks  are  none  of  the  most  delicate  in  the  world — 
though  all  the  more  graphic  for  that,  be  it  remembered — 
but  that  isn't  half  so  distressing  as  the  reflection  that 
both  parties  are  evidently  past  all  hope  of  reclamation. 
They  of  the  north  are  entirely  too  wise  to  be  instructed 
by  anybody,  though  the  very  'negroes  here  (Heaven 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  247 

help  the  poor  darky  that  ever  falls  into  their  hands) 
might  teach  them  more  modesty;  and  the.  re  verse  of 
that  reason,  makes  the  case  equally  hopeless  on  the 
other  side.  Here  at  the  South,  men  (who  must  needs 
have  all  the  sense  in  the  world  inasmuch  as  we  women 
have  none,)  are  vastly  too  knowing  to  take  a  hint  from 
their  better-halves  in  the  construction  of  their  domicils. 
So  the  latter  have  to  go  on  from  week  to  week  and  year 
to  year,  cramming  all  the  "  five  corners  of  every  room" 
full  of  beds,  in  which  to  stow  away  the  whole  household 
(the  female  portion  of  it  I  mean)  whenever  the  conjugal 
hive  swarms ;  that  is,  whenever  the  hopeful  progeny 
gets  too  large — no,  too  numerous — for  the  whole  to 
pack  in  with  "  Pa  and  Ma"  any  longer ;  and  then,  to 
mend  the  matter,  cover  all  the  intermediate  space  with 
pallets,  every  night,  for  negro  women  and  children,  boys 
and  girls  (some  of  the  former  large  enough  to  count  for 
men  in  the  field),  so  that  the  little  misses  have  to  grow 
up  from  infancy  to  maturity,  accustomed  to  dress,  un 
dress  and  expose  themselves  just  as  freely  in  their  pre 
sence,  as  if  they  were  so  many  cats  and  dogs. 

Some  far-off  Physiologist  does,  to  be  sure,  occasion 
ally  lift  up  his  voice  against  the  "  insalubrity"  of  in 
haling,  during  the  hours  of  sleep,  the  fetid  atmosphere 
generated  by  such  promiscuous  crowds;"  but  if  you 
want  to  hear  the  immorality  of  the  thing  denounced, 
you  must  go  with  some  u  dirty  indecent  novelist"  to  a 
Parisian  cellar  or  London  garret,  we  are  altogether  too 
modest  and  virtuous  to  think  of  anything  indecorous. 
And  who  shall  dare  to  inquire,  if  it  is  reasonable  to 
suppose  that  the  inferior,  whose  animal  passions  may 
be  strong  in  proportion  as  his  intellects  are  weak,  is 
always  equally  heedless  ?  And  if  not,  whether  parents 


248  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

and  all  others  who  perpetuate  this  custom,  are  not,  in 
directly  at  least,  accessory  to,  and  responsible  for,  many 
of  those  appalling  occurrences,  which  usually  terminate 
in  the  roasting  beforehand,  of  some  brutal  wretch,  for  a 
nameless  outrage  on  perhaps  the  wife,  sister,  or  daughter 
of  his  own  master  ?  That  such  events  occur  so  rarely, 
under  existing  circumstances,  is,  to  me,  an  unanswer 
able  argument  in  favor  of  the  wide  and  irremediable 
disparity  of  race;  that  this  barrier  is  sometimes  over 
leaped,  is  I  believe,  owing  more  than  men  will  like  to 
admit,  to  the  fact  that  husbands,  fathers  and  brothers, 
have  never  once  dreamed  of  placing  that  among  the 
possible  contingencies,  that  might  result  from  their  own 
mismanagement. 

Southerners  are  not  overmuch  given,  at  best,  to  wast 
ing  any  superfluous  amount  of  time  investigating  the 
nature  of  cause  and  effect ;  and  cannot  of  course  be  ex 
pected  to  do  it  now,  when  their  whole  souls  would  revolt 
from  the  conclusion,  to  which  I  honestly  believe  it  would 
inevitably  lead.  Would  they  do  so,  1  fancy  we  should 
soon  see  very  different  domestic  and  dormitorial  ar 
rangements  ;  and  a  less  universal  habit  of  "  putting  on 
full  steam,"  to  make  a  little  more  cotton,  to  buy  another 
negro  to  make  a  little  more  cotton,  and  so  on  ad  infini- 
tum  j  just  for  instance,  as  your  humble  servant  com 
presses  her  lines  more  and  more,  on  every  page  she 
attempts  to  trace. 

I  dare  say  you  are  asleep,  so — 

To  Morpheus,  my  dear  cousin. 

LOUISE. 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  249 


DEMAND   FOR  A   SONG' 

By  one  wJio  assumed,  in  sport,  to  le  JENNY  LIND; 
and  REPLY. 

A  SONG  for  my  lute  that  shall  float  on  its  chords,' 
A  measure  all  glowing  with  gladness  and  glee ; 

A  tone  gushing  out  from  the  heart's  sweetest  wards, 
This,  this  is  my  tribute,  oh  minstrel,  from  thee. 

No  fear  for  the  future,  no  accent  of  pain, 
No  care  for  the  present  must  sadden  its  tone; 

Youth,  beauty  and  hope  must  e'en  breathe  in  its  strain, 
Like  birds  of  bright  plumage  that  upward  have 
flown. 

For  my  life  is  still  young  in  its  freshness  and  truth, 
And  I  deem  that  the  future  will  aye  be  the  same ; 

Then  weave  me  a  song  like  the  smile  of  my  youth, 
To  float  on  nay  lute,  down  the  current  of  fame. 


Oh  NO — for  I'm  old,  though  the  register  tells 

Fewer  lusters  by  far  than  are  traced  on  my  brow ; 

And  a  voice  from  the  past,  ever  silently  swells 
The  dirge  of  the  hopes  that  are  withered  and  low. 

Then  wake  not  its  tone,  for  I  shrink  from  the  tread 
Of  those  echoless  steps  that  are  thronging  the  stair; 

The  altered,  the  absent,  the  distant  the  dead — 
They  are  coming — all  coming — and  gathering  there! 


250  LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES. 

And  the  sigh  of  each  leaf  in  the  blossom  of  life, 
As  the  petal  was  reft  and  flung  to  the  breeze ; 

(Like  the  song  of  the  swan,  or  the  dolphin's  last  dyes 
Appealing  in  anguish  to  winds  and  to  seas) ; 

It  is  moaning  for  aye  in  the  wierd  spirit's  wail, 
As  mem'ry  summons  each  ghost  from  the  crowd 

Of  shadowless  forms,  that  are  strewing  the  gale 
With  the  damp  and  the  mildew  that  clings  to  the 
shroud. 

And  my  heart,  life  and  lute  all  smell  of  its  mold, 
No  ray  of  bright  promise  now  cheers  me  along, 

And  my  brow  is  not  all  that  is  careworn  and  old, 
For  no  muse  but  deep  sorrow  presides  o'er  my  song. 

LEONA. 

Miss.,  Feb.,  1851. 


LETTER   XIX. 

SALMAGUNDI  OF  GOSSIP  AND  AUTOBIOGRAPHY. 

S n,  Miss.,  April,  1851. 

DEAR  DOKA: — 

You  will  be  surprised,  though  I  trust  not  disagreeably 
BO,  at  receiving,  for  the  first  time  in  your  life,  a  line 
from  your  long  wandering  cousin. 

I  claim  no  special  ovation  for  the  gratuity,  for  when 
a  culprit  is  sure  to  be  detected,  do  what  he  will,  he  may 
as  well  "confess  and  be  hanged"  at  once.  And  it  is 
just  possible,  that  but  for  circulating  the  inclosed,  I 
might  not  have  found  time  to  write  quite  so  soon;  still 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  251 

I  have  always  intended  doing  so,  ever  since  I  knew  that 
you  too  were  far  away  from  the  home  of  your  youth, 
and  that  one  after  another  of  your  elder  sisters  had 
gone  down,  like  nearly  all  I  love,  to  the  silent  grave. 
Ignorance  of  your  address,  and  the  uncertainty  of  my 
own  have  hitherto  deterred  me;  but  thanks  to  uncle 

J "s  last,  the   former  difficulty  is   now  obviated — 

though  you  may  feel  no  special  gratitude  therefor — 
and  Clara  tells  me,  you  are  a  wife  and  mother.  A 
happy  one,  I  hope  and  trust;  though  I  should  not  always 
have  inferred  it,  quite  as  matter  of  course,  from  the  fact 
that  you  had  assumed  the  name,  and  with  it,  I  hope,  as 
much  as  may  be,  of  the  feelings  of  a  mother,  to  several 
children  not  literally  yours. 

There  is,  I  apprehend,  something  instinctively  revolt 
ing,  if  not  almost  humiliating,  in  the  very  name  of 
second  wife  or  step-mother,  and  the  office  itself  can  be 
no  sinecure,  particularly  here  at  the  South  where  people 
are  somewhat  sensible,  and  consequently  aware,  how 
inadequate  is  a  whole  lifetime  of  self-abnegation  and 
subservience  to  repair,  to  their  children,  the  irreparable 
wrong  of  having  exposed  them  to  the  sins  and  sorrows 
of  this  life,  and  the  fearful  uncertainties  of  the  next; 
and  it  certainly  is  very  hard  atoning  for  injuries  one 
has  not  committed,  yet  on  the  whole,  playing  la  belle 
mere  (how  much  softer  and  prettier  is  this  than  our 
coarse  English  phrase),  to  whatever  number  of  "  young 
hopefuls"  may  have  the  audacity  to  call  any  one  man 
"  Father"  can  scarce  be  worse  than  enacting  step 
mother  de  facto  to  all  the  dirty,  ugly  little  wretches 
in  community!  And  with  the  comfortable  assurance 
too,  as  in  my  case,  that  by  the  time  one  set  of  the 
"  varmints"  has  been  caught  and  caged  long  enough  to 


252  LETTERS  AND  MISCELLANIES. 

be  demi-civilized,  they  will  have  to  be  dispersed,  and 
their  quondam  to  pay  as  dearly  for  the  respite  as  would 
Esop's  Fox  had  his  benevolent  friend,  the  swallow,  per 
sisted  in  his  humane  intentions.  The  stepping  may  not 
be  perfectly  felicitous,  especially  if  it  happens,  as  I 
suppose  it  does  once  in  a  thousand  years  or  so,  to  be 
stepwife  as  well  as  mother;  but  I  do  begin  to  think 
there  is  something  a  little  ridiculous  in  the  tenacity  with 
which  certain  old  friends  of  ours  adhere  to  their  primi 
tive  opinion,  that  it  constitutes  the  crowning  agony  of 
all  female  martyrdom;  my  own  private  opinion  ("publicly 
expressed")  being  that  it  consists  either  in  "  governess- 
ing,"  or  being  tied  to  some  miserly,  vulgar  old  fool,  or 
contemptible  sot. 

Lady  Teazle's  reply  to  Sir  Peter's  taunt  respecting 
her  former  position,  namely:  "that  she  recollected  it 
distinctly,  and  a  very  disagreeable  one  it  was,"  etc.,  is 
very  apropos — to  the  general  question  I  mean,  not  to 
your  particular  case,  there  I  trust  it  may  be  wholly  ir 
relevant  ;  for  yon,  I  hope,  neyer  found  shooting  young 
ideas  half  so  intolerably  irksome  as  myself. 

It  is  not  the  mere  physical  labor  and  confinement  that 
render  it  so  oppressive,  though  you  in  Old  Virginia  have 
no  idea  what  a  constitution  of  iron  it  requires  even  for 
that,  here  in  the  South-west ;  nor  what  uncommon  effort 
and  ability  it  demands  to  maintain  the  least  ascendency 
over  the  minds  of  pupils,  where  one  half  the  parents 
are  much  like  the  aggrieved  father,  who  had  "been 
sending  to  school  and  paying  out  his  money  for  three 
whole  years,  to  have  his  son  learn  Latin,  and  now,  he 
couldn't  even  do  a  sum  in  Simple  Interest!"  They,  of 
course,  are  quite  as  apt  to  find  fault  when  their  children 
do  well  as  when  they  do  ill,  a  majority  of  the  balance 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  253 

don't  care,  or  if  they  do,  have  all  got  in  such  a  tremen 
dous  hurry,  of  late,  that  if  it  wasn't  for  the  opportune 
invention  of  snags  and  steamboat  explosions,  death, 
poor  fellow,  might  die  of  starvation,  for  all  them,  for  he 
never  could  overtake  them.  And  even  the  best  dis 
posed  and  more  sensible,  who  don't  exactly  expect  to 
outrun  him,  seem  to  think  they  are  doing  the  cause  of 
education  good  service  if  they  only  find  time  to  listen 
pretty  regularly  to  ex  parte  reports  of  each  day's  pro 
ceedings,  instead  of  dropping  in  every  now  and  then, 
impromptu,  as  they  should,  to  evince  interest,  gratify 
curiosity,  or  make  suggestions;  but  unfortunately  they 
are  much  oftener  training  up  idle  and  contemptible,  if 
not  captious  and  mischief-making  gossips  and  busy- 
bodies.  Probably  they  never  reflect,  when  discussing 
all  ihvpros  and  cons  in  each  item  of  the  daily  budget 
in  the  very  presence  of  the  carrier,  that  they  are 
virtually  inviting  him  to  sit  in  judgment,  with  them, 
on  the  personal  and  professional  merits  and  demerits 
of  his  teacher;  and  that  it  is  not  in  human  nature 
for  a  judge  to  retain,  very  long,  any  profound  re 
spect  for  one  daily  arraigned  at  his  bar:  and  conse 
quently  that  they  are  doing  their  best,  to  destroy  all 
that  prestige  of  moral  and  intellectual  superiority,  on 
which  the  success  of  teaching  so  eminently  depends. 

Yet  this  is  not  all,  for  there  is  still  the  irresistible 
conviction  that,  struggle  as  you  will,  all  freedom  of 
thought,  all  independence  of  action,  the  very  inborn 
rights  of  woman  are  gone,  and  your  sex  remembered 
only  for  the  impunity  it  secures  to  insult  and  aggression ; 
the  knowledge  that  you  are  bound  to  succumb,  body 
and  soul,  life  and  limb,  to  the  caprices  of  an  ill-sorted, 
ill-informed,  conflicting  and  ever  vacillating  community; 


254  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

that  you  are  sold,  past  redemption,  to  a  slavery,  hopeless 
and  helpless  as  the  bondage  of  Siberian  mines— that 
you  have  no  right  to  think  your  own  thoughts,  or  with 
hold  the  sacrifice  of  your  own  health  or  life,  that  you 
must  forego  all  to  which  you  cling,  fritter  away  the  fresh 
ness  and  sheen  from  each  gem  of  beauty,  and  worth ; 
temper  "the  thoughts  that  breathe,  the  words  that 
bum,"  to  the  dull,  cold  ear  of  stupidity ;  speak  when 
you  would  be  silent,  act  when  you  would  think ;  tame 
down  all  lofty  thought,  all  soaring  fancy,  all  noble  aspi 
ration;  crush  out  the  soul's  deep  thirst,  its  life-long 
yearning  for  advance,  for  improvement,  and  bind  it 
down,  with  a  chain  of  adamant,  to  the  same  "  dull 
drudged  lesson,"  the  endless  iteration  and  reiteration  of 
the  same  stale,  puerile  commonplace ;  and  all  for 
naught— -for  naught,  for  what  is  gold  to  compensate  for 
such  torture  as  this  ?  And  it  is  this,  oh  yes  it  is  this ; 
that  sends  so  many  highly-gifted  and  accomplished  wo 
men,  with  better  health  and  stronger  nerves  than  mine, 
from  the  school-room  to  the  mad -house. 

Yet  the  world,  in  their  wisdom,  never  dream  that  all 
is  not  well ;  they  see  no  danger  in  forcing  the  o'ertasked 
brain  to  atone  for  the  absence  of  all  physical  power, 
while  the  worn-out  nerve  is  quivering  with  agony  at  the 
rustle  of  every  leaf — nothing  more  remarkable  than  per 
sonal,  or  sectional  eccentricity,  in  the  stammering  tongue, 
the  imperfect  or  forgotten  word,  the  half-formed,  or  re 
constructed  phrase,  the  wandering  thought  and  indisposi 
tion,  or  inability  to  concentrate  the  reasoning  faculties — 
the  waning  powers  of  self-control  and  consequent  ir 
repressible  and  undignified  exhibition  of  every  passing 
emotion  ;  the  frequent  and  startling  alternation  from  the 
deepest  depression  to  the  wildest  and  most  unnatural 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  255 

levity ;  oh  no,  they  see  no  premonitory  symptoms  in  all 
this  ;  but  when  the  fearful  verdict  "  insanity"  has  once 
gone  forth,  O  then  they  can  "  remember  "  to  have  seen 
"  long  ago  " — in  every  independent  act,  every  warm  and 
generous  feeling,  every  brilliant  coruscation  of  wit  and 
high  poetic  thought,  that  soared  above  the  medium  of 
their  own  cent-per-cent.,  matter-of-fact  perceptions — "uri- 
mistakable  indications"  of  alienated  intellect!  And 
even  men,  who  should  be  physiologists,  will  not  hesi 
tate  to  assign  as  cause  some  trivial  incident,  which  the 
veriest  tyro  ought  to  blush  not  to  know,  must  have 
been  the  effect ! 

You  may  think  I  look  altogether  on  the  dark  side ; 
but  if  the  picture  ever  had  any  bright  one,  I'm  sure  it 
must  have  been  worn  out  before  my  day,  for  I  never 
could  find  it,  or,  if  I  ever  did,  my  experience  for  the 
last  two  years  has  entirely  effaced  the  impression. 

The  first  of  these  was  spent  a  little  North  of  Red 
river,  in  Arkansas;  the  second  a  little  South  of  it,  in 
Louisiana.  In  the  former  place  I  did  achieve  a  whole 
five-months'  session  in  the  course  of  eight  or  nine ;  in 
the  latter,  I  repeated  the  experiment,  but  failed  most  sig 
nally,  after  dragging,  as  I  had  often  done  before,  my 
enfeebled  frame,  and  tottering  limbs  and  quivering 
nerves,  to  the  scene  of  their  daily  torture,  by  literally 
crawling  up  stairs,  or  over  stiles,  like  an  infant,  for 
weeks  in  succession.  And  very  glad  was  I,  eventually, 
to  put  long  miles  and  broad  rivers  between  me  and  the 
scene  of  so  much  mental  and  physical  suffering,  at  the 
expense  of  a  watch — the  second  disposed  of  for  similar 
reasons  within  the  last  five  years — intending,  hereafter, 
to  be  as  circumspect  as  was  the  steamboat  captain, 
who,  on  being  asked  "  if  he  ran  up  Red  river,"  replied, 


256  LETTERS   AND    MISCELLANIES. 

"No;  that  he  intended  to  keep  within  the  pale  of  civil 
ization  :  "  not  but  that  I  found  some  of  the  most  agree 
able  people  I  ever  did  meet  "West  of  the  Mississippi,  (in 
Louisiana,  more  particularly;)  but  then  they  are  too 
much  like  "  angels'  visits,  few  and  far  between." 

Now,  I  flatter  myself,  I  know  precisely  the  feelings 
of  an  escaped  galley-slave,  balancing  the  horrors  of 
impending  starvation  with  the  mortal  agony  of  a  com 
pulsory  return  to  his  chain  and  his  oar.  And  you  see, 
by  the  inclosed,*  that  the  proverbial  mischance  of  lite 
rary  effort  is  henceforth  the  only  "reed"  on  which  I 
lean,  to  preserve  me  from  perishing  of  want  in  a  land 
whose  applause  falls  in  showers  of  gold  on  every  species 
of  talent  that  ministers  to  the  corporeal  senses  !  God 
only  knows  how  I  have  toiled  and  suffered,  how  sternly 
and  unflinchingly  I  have  crucified  all  my  native  tastes 
and  early  habits,  to  avoid  such  a  contingency  as  this ; 
how,  once  and  again,  I  have  almost  secured  the  means 
of  obviating  its  occurrence,  then  been  compelled  to 
watch,  in  bitterness  of  spirit,  as  gold  (the  true  sybilline 
leaf,  that  increases  in  value  as  it  diminishes  in  propor 
tion,)  slowly,  but  surely,  glided  from  my  grasp,  leaving 
me,  on  each  recurring  occasion,  more  helpless,  homeless, 
destitute  and  desolate  than  ever. 

Forgive  me,  should  your  mind  chance  to  revert  sadly, 
in  future,  to  the  position  of  one  hitherto  far  removed,  in 
all  probability,  by  time  and  distance,  from  your  thoughts 
and  sympathies ;  for  I  would  not  willingly  cast  the 
shadow  of  my  own  evil  doom  over  the  brightness  of 
your  fairer  destiny. 

I  have,  as  you  are  probably  aware,  resided  for  most 

*  Notice  and  Prospectus  of  this  work. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  257 

of  the  last  fifteen  years  in  Tennessee — fifteen  centuries 
more  like  it  seems.  I  wonder  what  people  mean  when 
they  say  "time  seems  so  short;  but  it,  to  me,  has  lost 
much  of  its  former  charms ;  for  the  dear  old  Virginia 
lady,  who  was  about  the  only  mother  I  ever  knew,  had 
(with  many  of  her  beloved  children,)  gone  away  to  her 
home  in  heaven  before  I  left ;  so  I  concluded  to  arrange 
preliminaries  in  this  state,  partly  because  it  was  less 
expensive  of  access  than  one  more  remote,  but  more 
because  I  knew  the  Masonic  fraternity  (on  whom  I 
have  a  lien  in  right  of  my  father,)  to  be  unusually 
popular  and  extensive  in  Mississippi.  Now  don't  faint, 
or  turn  pale  in  the  least :  I  only  design  them — in  case 
they  are  sensible — the  honor  of  accepting  their  patron 
age  and  favorable  auspices ;  but  I'd  like  to  see  the  first 
living  mortal,  stranger  or  relative,  that  would  dare  say 
"  Pensionnaire  "  to  me ;  though,  if  you  chance  to  know 
any  seventh-heaven  clairvoyant,  who  can  work  his  will 
unrestricted  by  time  and  space,  I'll  thank  you  to  bespeak 
his  good  offices  to  the  extent  of  making  me  insensible 
to  the  wants  and  weaknesses  of  poor,  frail  humanity, 
for  some  time  to  come.  Cause  why — a  gold  watch  not 
being  exactly  a  gold  mine  you  know,  its  proceeds  can 
not  be  expected  to  last  forever ;  and — it  being  one  of 
the  indefeasible  properties  of  all  great  bodies  to  move 
slow — some  of  the  worshipful  members  in  the  Empire 
State,  who,  according  to  the  best  of  my  recollection, 
were  formerly  nowise  remarkable  for  developments  of 
any  kind,  have  of  late  become  such  inconceivably  great 
men,  that  it  wouldn't  comport  with  their  dignity  at  all 
to  examine  a  record  and  make  out  a  certificate  within 
less  than  six  or  eight  months  after  they  had  promised  to 
do  so  half  as  many  different  times  1 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

But  what  a  blessed  thing  it  is  to  be  confiding — and 
pertinacious  and  tenacious,  too,  as  any  Senior  Wrangler 
or  the  musk  of  a  Yankee's  self-conceit — for  otherwise  I 
might  suspect  that  all  the  marvelous  fine  things  re- 
ported,  ever  since  I  could  remember,  about  the  prompt 
and  efficient  attention  always  given,  in  case  of  need,  to 
the  representative  of  a  deceased  brother,  must  have  hap 
pened  during  Munchausen's  travels  in  Gulliver's  Island, 
or  away  back  in  the  dark  ages,  before  the  world  had 
outgrown  its  baby-clothes  and  got  beyond  leading- 
strings.  The  urchin  has  cut  his  eye-teeth  now  though, 
and  got  quite  shrewd  enough,  too,  to  fool  himself,  if  not 
his  Maker,  into  a  belief  of  his  own  entire  willingness 
to  discharge  all  obligation,  to  the  spirit  and  letter,  while 
taking  special  good  care  to  ignore  its  existence  in  every 
case  possible.  If,  however,  I  find,  upon  better  enlight 
enment — that  is  to  say,  when  the  mountain  has  come  to 
Mahomet — that  this  compliment  is  private  property,  on 
which  the  grand  circle,  as  a  whole,  have  no  rightful 
lien,  I  do  hereby  promise  to  make  it  over  in  fee  simple 
to  the  original  legatees  instanter  !  *  . 

*Well,  it  is  so  assigned  and  secured — to  the  exclusion,  at  least,  of 
the  Mississippi  segment — this  day  and  date  of  the  year  of  grace,  fifty- 
one.  And  I  do  hope  and  trust  1  have  found  the  exception  at  last,  for 
I'm  sure  I  never  yet  did  love  "a  tree  or  flower  but  'twas  the  first  to 
fade  away;"  and,  if  decency  didn't  forbid,  should  expect  the  "  ancient" 
and  universal,  immutable  and  inscrutable,  to  convert  an  "open Sesame" 
into  a  bar-sinister  the  moment  it  was  seen  in  my  hands.  But,  "  nous 
verrons,"  as  Father  Ritchie  says. — Vicksburg,  Oct.  6. 

And,  sure  enough,  they  have,  (I  humbly  ask  pardon  of  all  the  other 
disfranchised  therefor ;)  and  then  try  to  palaver,  and  "  make  be 
lieve"  it's  a  mere  matter  of  latitude,  or  some  other  vagary!  I  know 
better,  if  they  don't :  it's  all  owing  to  me,  and  nothing  and  nobody 
else  ;  and  it's  astonishing  how  savans  will  keep  groping  in  moonshine 
and  electricity  for  solutions  right  under  their  nose,  and  palpable  as 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  259 

Aside  from  that  accorded  by  the  husband  of  an  old 
friend,  the  most  efficient  aid  given  to  my  enterprise, 
thus  far,  has  resulted  from  a  casual  rencontre  with  a 
young  friend  from  De  Soto,  Louisiana ;  and  there  being 
no  pretty  sister,  daughter,  or  niece  in  the  case,  his  cour 
tesy  can  be  ascribed  to  nothing  less  than  "the  inborn 
chivalry"  of  a  gentleman  "to  the  manor  born."  So  I 
say,  God  bless  the  Virginians,  Kentuckians,  and  Caro 
linians,  wherever  they  sojourn:  they  seem  to  have  a 
noble  and  manly  self-reliance  on  their  own  ability  to 
recognise  and  appreciate  rank  and  worth  wherever  it 
may  be  found,  without  extraneous  aid.  Perhaps  it  is 
from  the  electric  thrill  of  some  responsive  chord  within ; 
for,  sure  I  am,  they  exhibit  far  less  than  some  others  of 
that  spirit  which,  by  suspecting  all,  "  convicts  at  least 
one"  if  we  may  rely  upon  the  testimony  of  that  uncom 
promising  moralist,  Dr.  Samuel  Johnson :  an  ipse  dixit, 
by-the-by,  which  I  would  most  respectfully  recommend 
to  the  consideration  of  those  who  seem  never  to  have 

their  own  stupidity !  /  was,  undoubtedly,  Columbus  in  1492  ;  that's 
why  the  magnet  turned  from  the  Pole;  and  Sir  John  Franklin  might 
have  come  home  long  ago,  (half  roasted  to  a  cinder,)  if  "  Government" 
had  only  set  me  up  in  the  ice  trade,  instead  of  fitting  out  the  Advance 
and  Rescue,  with  that  pestilent  surgeon,  who  couldn't  be  easy  till  he'd 
got  a  pre-emption  to  disqualify  and  exclude  all  authors  from  Terra 
Incog.,  as  well  as  log — "  bad  luck  to  him."  Not  the  first  one  of  us  now, 
can  ever  send  a  pair  of  nice  young  "lovyers"  there  to  cool  off  their 
passion  during  the  honeymoon,  but  he'll  have  somebody  wrapping  up 
their  ears  in  old  newspapers!  And  if  I  were  to  draw  up  a  glowing 
description  of  the  Palace,  Park,  Gardens,  and  Royal  Demesnes  of  King 
Eidolon,  in  the  last  found  Nebulae,  Uncle  Sam  would  be  certain  to  stick 
a  Kane  in  it,  and  have  it  surveyed,  and  mapped,  and  geologized,  and 
cantoned  off  into  thriving  young  Republics,  (modeled  exactly  on  the 
pattern  of  Brother  Jonathan's.)  long  before  I  could  find  a  publisher 
discerning  enough  to  appreciate  the  work.  "  Everything  con-TRA-rtes 
me," — what  shall  I  do? — Lexington,  1852. 


260  LETTERS  AND   MISCELLANIES. 

properly  digested  St.  Paul's  sententious  lecture  on  good 
morals  and  good  manners,  namely,  "Let  no  man  think 
of  himself  more  highly  than  he  ought  to  think,  but  each 
esteem  another  better  than  himself." 

Speaking  of  Dr.  Johnson,  reminds  me  that  a  reputed 
relative  of  his  was  the  last  teacher  of  my  acquaintance 
sent  to  the  lunatic  asylum ;  but  do  not  understand  me 
to  insinuate  that  I  think  the  possession  of  any  com 
mendable  quality  restricted  to  the  natives  of  any  par 
ticular  section.  Such  an  idea,  beside  being  manifestly 
absurd,  would  be  extremely  unjust  to  many  of  my  best 
and  dearest  friends;  all  I  mean  is,  that  whenever  I  find 
pretty  nearly  my  beau  ideal  of  a  perfect  lady  or  gentle 
man,  I  am  also  very  apt  to  find,  soon  or  late,  that  the 
individual  was,  in  a  great  majority  of  instances,  origi 
nally  from  one  or  the  other  of  the  States  above-men 
tioned. 

Now,  don't  betake  yourself  forthwith  to  the  presence 
of  your  loving  caro — to  whom,  nevertheless,  present  my 
cousinly  compliments — that  is,  if  you  think  proper ;  for 
I  dare  say  he  is  very  much  like  the  residue  of  lords 
paramount,  sufficiently  addicted  to  taking  airs  of  various 
kinds  upon  himself  any  way,  and  might  fancy  I  had 
cooked  up  this  nice  little  dish  of  "blarney"  for  his 
special  delectation,  (or  more  probable  disgust,)  or  in 
tended  it  as  an  ironical  hit  at  the  palpable  parvenuism 
of  the  F.  F.  Y.  assumption.  Either  would  be  wide  of 
the  mark,  though  I  do  think  it  a  pity  we  can't  have 
some  of  the  aforesaid  statesmen  to  modify  the  character 
of  the  pretty  Chinese  colony  in  this  vicinity,  and  don?t 
think  it  would  be  much  amiss  for  the  next  legislature, 
after  they  have  affiliated  Mexico,  annexed  Cuba,  and 
dissolved  the  Union — and  it  seems  just  now  as  if  they 


LETTEK8   AND   MISCELLANIES.  261 

were  not  like  to  lack  provocation  to  do  either,  or  all,  if 
they  could — to  wind  up  by  conferring  a  new  name  on 
the  shire  town  of  Madison;  for  Canton  is  well  known 
to  be  a  free  port,  and  these  celestials  are  in  no  danger 
of  entertaining  "angels  unawares/' 

I  made  their  town  my  original  place  of  destination, 
little  dreaming  that  with  "  letters"  to  prominent  citizens, 
I  should  be  unable  to  secure  a  temporary  home  among 
"  the  generous,  warm-hearted  Mississippians"  of  whom 
I  had  so  often  heard — so  long  at  least  as  I  had  means  to 
pay  for  it — but  it  seems  I  reckoned  for  once  without  my 
host.  I  don't  mean  "mine  host"  of  the  hotel,  who,  I 
do  suspect,  has  somehow  stumbled  on  that  anomalous 
piece  of  antiquity,  denominated  the  Golden  Rule ;  though 
I  hope  the  incident  will  never  transpire  to  the  injury  of 
his  reputation  for  ordinary  savoir  faire  among  his  own 
fellow-townsmen. 

As  for  these,  their  houses  looked  very  much  as  if  con 
structed  of  the  usual  materiel;  but  we  all  know  how 
ingenious  are  the  nephews  and  nieces  of  the  "  Sun  and 
Moon ; "  and  no  doubt  it  was  all  a  sham,  and  they  were 
every  one  India-rubber,  made  to  expand  or  contract  at 
pleasure.  Provisions,  too,  rose  most  astonishingly  in 
the  market — don't  you  think  the  dealers  ought  to  pat 
ronize  me  extensively  therefor — so,  though  no  cormorant, 
I  was  fain  to  decamp;  and  should  the  chances  and 
changes  of  life  ever  call  me  to  the  Celestial  Empire 
again,  shall  announce  myself  as  the  identical  Mrs.  Ann 
Royal,  redivivius,  (she  is  dead  is  she  not?)  who  once 
held  the  good  city  of  "Washington  and  the  sovereigns' 
viceroys  in  such  commendable  awe. 

Possibly  they  didn't  relish  the  idea  of  having   "a 

chiel  amang  them  takin'  notes;"  but  "fa'th  I'll  prent 
22 


262  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

them,"  though  sure  to  get  nothing  but  "particular  j easy" 
for  my  pains.  Perhaps  you  don't  appreciate  the  graphic 
elegance  of  this  ominous  Southwesternism ;  but  it  means, 
I  take  it,  graduating  through  a  course  of  "sprouts," 
with  a  few  extra  touches  by  way  of  diploma. 

I  don't  charge  much  for  this  contribution  to  slang 
dictionary,  but  expect  the  unbounded  gratitude  of  all 
critics  for  the  choice  bonnes  touches  provided  for  their 
delectation.  Much  joy  do  I  wish  them  of  their  dainty 
repast,  and  a  nice  time  they  will  have  of  it;  for  here 
liave  1  been  these  dozen  years  sharpening  myself  up  into 
vulnerable  points  all  over,  for  their  better  convenience, 
and  there's  only  one  little  drawback  to  their  promised 
"feast  of  fat  things."  I've  grown  so  exceedingly  thin 
during  the  process,  that  unless  they  are  capital  sharp 
shooters,  there  is  some  little  danger  of  missing  the  mark. 
But  they  have  only  to  follow  the  directions  of  the  re 
nowned  Mrs.  Glass,  "first  catch  the  game"  and  then 
there's  nothing  to  do  but  hash  and  slash,  and  baste  and 
broil  to  their  heart's  content;  for  here's  plenty  of  sauce 
malapert  already  prepared  to  their  hands. 

So  just  set  to,  Mr.  Dennis;  we  of  the  South  don't 
stand  for  trifles,  and  ought  to  be  very  proud  of  your 
notice,  if  it  does  come  in  the  form  of  a  castigation. 
And  when  you  get  us  tamed  down  to  the  polished  level 
of  your  own  elegant  commonplace,  there  will  be  another 
splendid  chance  to  show  ofi',  by  declaiming  about  "  the 
want  of  the  beauty  of  the  fitness  of  things ; "  and  we 
wouldn't  miss  that  diatribe  upon  any  account,  and  hope 
you'll  remember  it  takes  a  great  deal  of  attic  salt  to 
keep  some  things  from  spoiling!  "Just  as  a  friend, 
though,"  we'd  advise  you  not  to  make  too  heavy  a  run 
upon  your  vituperative  epithets  at  the  first  dash ;  not 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  263 

4 

that  there's  the  slightest  danger  of  the  stock's  giving 
out,  but  because  so  many  crabbed,  ugly  words  might  be 
hard  to  swallow,  in  case  you  had  to  "crawfish."  (there's 
another  ism  for  you,)  as  Jeffries  did  after  Byron  lashed 
him  into  good  behavior.  •  And  beside,  it  must  be  pro 
voking,  very,  to  see  how  some  wrong-headed,  contume 
lious,  self-witted  authors,  (like  Dickens,  for  example,) 
e'en  will  go  on  publishing  despite  your  fatherly  admo 
nitions  and  remonstrances ;  and  how  the  world  just  will 
go  on  reading — hardly  stopping  long  enough  to  say,  "I 
wonder  you  will  be  talking  there,  Signor — nobody  mark^ 
you" — till,  finally,  you  have  to  stuff  your  wise  critique 
in  your  own  pocket,  and  chime  in  with  the  undiscerning 
vulgar,  just  as  if  you  really  had  caught,  at  last,  some 
little  faint  echo  of  "  that  music  to  whose  tone  the  com 
mon  pulse  of  man  keeps  time;"  though  you  know  very 
well,  all  the  while,  that  it's  a  great  deal  more  like  the 
melody  of  an  imprisoned  porker  than  the  "music  of  the 
spheres." 

Now,  this  may  be  a  very  shameless  and  unblushing 
avowal  of  bad  taste,  deserving  the  knout,  bastinado, 
decapitation,  and  all  sorts  of  refined,  delicate  penance 
befitting  the  Procrustes  of  high  literati  to  inflict ;  how 
ever,  the  tiara  is  "  at  discount  now,"  so  I  don't  mind 
confessing — all  "  under  the  rose,"  you  know — that  really 
I  am  not  infallible,  have  been  mistaken  in  the  course  of 
my  life,  didn't  always  know  "the  cow  would  eat  up  the 
grindstone,"  and  don't  always  feel  as  much  like  anathe 
matizing  these  vernacular  mesalliances,  as  a  regular 
offset  of  "Rose,  Thistle,  and  Shamrock"  should.  Most 
Mississippi-valley-isms,  like  all  other  isms — cockneyisms 
in  particlar — are,  to  be  sure,  silly,  pointless,  low-lived 
and  disgusting,  beyond  the  power  of  legitimate  adjec- 


264  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

lives  to  express ;  but  that  they  are,  without  exception, 
like  the  old  lady's  "  backer-spittin'  beaux,  ALL  Abomina 
ble,  'bominabler,  ^bominablest"  I,  for  one,  beg  leave  to 
deny.  There  is,  now  and  then,  one,  evincing  so  much 
rapidity  of  combination,  raciness  and  vigor  of  thought, 
that,  to  my  ear  at  least,  is  far  less  grating  than  the  eter 
nal  "hadn't  oughts"  and  "said  he's"  and  "said  Ps" 
by  which  some  who  arrogate  "  those  seats  on  high " 
rarely  fail,  "/  guess"  to  betray  their  Blue-Law  origin 
and  Pilgrim  culture,  long  after  they  have  turned  their 
backs  upon  Down-East  and  adventurized  toward  the 
setting  sun.  But  then,  you  know,  I  always  was  rather 
restive  under  the  arbitrary,  nonsensical  and  ever-shift 
ing  exactions  of  etiquette ;  and  now,  am  just  poet,  cynic, 
censor  or  savage  enough  to  laugh  or  sneer  more  than 
ever  at  the  arduous  and  transparent  humbuggery  of 
highly  artificial  life.  And  if  there  is  one  pretension 
I  do  detest  more  than  another,  it  is  the  affectation  of 
would-be  gentility  and  sentimentality,  or  the  over 
strained  fastidiousness  of  personal,  social  or  literary 
sybarism. 

But,  avaunt,  ye  horrors,  "gorgons,  and  chimeras 
dire ; "  and — mercy  on  us,  what  an  episode !  For 
tunately,  you  understand  "  the  laws  and  statutes  in 
such  cases  made  and  provided"  too  well  to  expect  any 
apology  for  a  diversion  allowed  to  pastoral,  didactic  and 
other  prosy  writers,  (though,  really,  I  did  forget  you 
were  not  Evelyn  or  Clara ;)  but,  -rtimporte,  I  shall  go 
on  all  the  same,  for  it  has  just  struck  me  how  materially 
I  have  derogated  from  the  dignity  of  a  certain  "city" 
by  calling  it  a  town.  It  was,  for  a  long  time,  a  great 
mystery  to  me  why  every  little  village  here  in  the  South- 
West  should  voluntarily  encumber  itself  with  onerous 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  265 

corporation  expenses;  bnt  I  know  now:  it's  because 
everybody  knows  that  everybody  lacks  time,  energy  or 
public  spirit  enough  to  keep  the  highways  and  byways 
in  his  own  immediate  vicinity  wholesome  and  passable, 
unless  backed  by  the  stringent  ordinations  of  a  regular 
board  of  police.  They  do  threaten  that  city  (and  even 
this  more  remotely  and  indirectly,)  with  a  railroad  ;  and 
there  is  so  much  interest  expressed  on  the  subject  just 
now,  that  I  shouldn't  much  wonder  if,  in  process  of  time, 
they  accomplished  the  object — of  getting  a  charter;  after 
which  the  fever  will,  it  is  presumed,  prove  an  intermit 
tent,  as  usual,  so  that  the  China-wares  and  Hyads  and 
Dryads  need  apprehend  no  further  danger. 

Jesting  and  nonsense  aside,  it  is  fortunate  that  I  was 
virtually  compelled  to  come  here ;  though  less  conspicu 
ous  and  important  in  some  respects,  it  is  a  village  much 
more  "  after  my  own  heart"  than  the  other,  being  a  post 
town,  easy  of  access,  and  combining  city  and  country 
most  delightfully — the  very  place,  in  short,  for  a  female 
seminary  ;  and  they  seem  to  have  a  very  good  one,  by 
the  way,  only  they  will  do  their  endeavor  to  make  it 
ridiculous  by  calling  it  a  college.*  Some  of  the  houses 
are,  it  is  true,  a  little  on  the  shingle-palace  order ;  but 
then  they  have  plenty  of  space ;  and,  if  clearing  out 
the  underbrush  from  the  groves  would  be  no  special  dis 
advantage,  it  certainly  is  very  refreshing  to  feel  that 
you  are  within  call  of  several  agreeable  neighbors,  and 
just  as  effectually  screened  from  their  optical  and  invol 
untary  surveillance  as  if  they  were  miles  away.  I  have 
been  here  but  a  few  short  weeks,  yet  find  myself  recoil- 

*  Possibly  this  habit  orignated  in  a  wish  to  secure  the  immunities 
conferred  by  college  charter  ;  but,  now  that  Brandon  College  has  step 
ped  over  into  Madison,  it  will,  it  is  to  be  hoped,  fall  heir  to  the  name 


266  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

ing,  almost  ungraciously,  from  the  slightest  allusion  to 
my  ultimate  departure.  Indeed,  I  begin  to  feel  that  a 
certain  genus  of  the  class  Mississippian  is  not  altogether 
extinct,  though  I  failed — probably  for  want  of  Diogenes' 
lantern — to  find  very  many  specimens  in  the  adjoining 
town. 

This  doesn't  look  much  like  the  "line"  promised  you 
at  the  beginning,  and  all  in  good  faith  too,  for  I  actually 
commenced  with  the  laudable  intention  of  producing,  for 
once,  a  nice,  genteel,  lady -like  little  letter,  of  the  most 
approved  dimensions  ;  but  you  see  the  old  "  counteract 
ing  principle"  was  too  much  for  me,  (I  do  believe  I'm 
haunted  by  the  ghost  of  a  Congressman  "done  to  death" 
by  that  savage  Gag-law ;)  and  now  here  the  thing  is, 
grown,  without  any  "  malice  prepense "  on  my  part, 
into — there's  no  telling  how  many  quartos !  But  you 
know  the  urchin  said  "he  didn't  whithle — it  whithled 
ithelf;"  so  you'll  please  to  consider  that  this  "wrote 
itself"  and  never  say  cacoethes  scribendi  to  me :  I  tell 
you  it's  no  such  thing — I  never  did  like  to  write  in  my 
life;  I  write  just  because  I  can't  help  it,  (as  anybody 
may  see  by  all  these  interlineations ;)  for  when  my  pen 
"takes  the  bit  in  its  teeth,"  and  starts  off  in  hot  haste 
after  perpetual  motion,  it's  no  more  use  trying  to  stop  it 
than  there  would  be  the  steeds  of  Apollo.* 

I  dare  say  you  think  it  would  be  much  likelier  to 
achieve  the  object,  if  it  would  only  bide  quietly  at 

*Just  so!  The  thing's  all  explained  now,  many  thanks  to  Dr. 
Samuel  Taylor  and  the  last  Boston  Medical  and  Surgical  Journal — 
Feb.  1,  1852.  The  writer's  no  more  responsible  than  "  a  sucking 
dove ;"  it's  all  owing  to  "  detached  vitalized  electricity,"  alias  "  them 
spirits,"  and  their  spite  because  they  can't,  and  she  don't,  always  do  a 
fair  share  of  talking. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  267 

home;  and  so,  perhaps,  it  might,  if  "Circumstance, 
that  unspiritual  god  and  miscreator,"  wouldn't  be  for 
ever  setting  me  "<z  ganging"  But  I  know  he  will — 
the  spiteful  wretch ! — and  have  yet  to  receive  the  very 
first  letter  ever  forwarded  (after  I  had  once  left  a  place,) 
by  any  of  Uncle  Sam's  agents;  so,  please  be  expeditious 
with  your  reply,  and  never  mind  stopping  to  prepare 
me  a  strait-jacket,  for  I  have  taken  up  an  idea  the 
things  are  not  at  all  becoming,  and  am  quite  certain  the 
common  sacque  is  full  ugly  enough  to  satisfy  any  rea 
sonable  mortal. 

Don't  forget,  though,  to  say  whether  you  think  my 
nomme  deplume,  (and pro  tern.,)  euphonious  or  not.  I 
don't  insist,  though,  that  you  shall  write  yourself  down 
among  the  half-enlightened  who  object ;  for  it  strikes 
me  that  Brother  Jonathan  must  have  been  committing 
petit  larceny  on  a  grand  scale,  for  a  long  time,  to  very 
little  purpose,  if,  after  all  the  foreign  literature  he  has 
stolen,  the  whole  "free  and  enlightened"  haven't  found 
out  how  very  common  it  is  for  princes,  and  other  high 
nobility,  to  drop  their  names  and  titles,  and  travel  all 
over  the  world  incog,  for  years  and  years  if  they  like ! 
And  if  all  the  old  women  in  corduroys  and  dimities, 
who  ever  did  predict  that  a  slice  of  green  cheese  from 
the  mountains  in  the  moon  would  throw  old  mother 
Earth  into  convulsions,  were  to  fatigue  themselves  by  a 
desperate  attempt  to  look  wise  and  admonitory  on  the 
occasion,  it  doesn't  follow,  of  course,  that  I  should  set 
about  getting  up  another  edition  of  Esop's  long-eared 
biped,  who  undertook  to  ride,  drive  and  carry  the  other 
donkey  to  market,  and  lost  him  for  his  pains,  as  any 
one  would  well  deserve  to  do  who  could  be  diverted 
from  his  own  course  (even  if  it  were  not  the  very  best,) 


268  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

by  every  self-installed  Mentor  with  "  the  grand  talents" 
for  enacting  patron  on  the  easy  terms  of  dispensing  that 
cheap  commodity  called  advice.  My  incognito,  if  it 
does  nothing  else,  will,  at  least,  make  an  admirable 
divining  rod  to  detect  innate  vulgarity  under  all  the 
elaborate  gloss  of  artificial  refinement ;  for  who  that 
would  not  "  near  the  ear"  to  a  key-hole,  or  tamper  with 
a  seal,  could  ever  muster  impudence  and  meanness 
enough  to  turn  round  and  say  "What  is  it?"  when 
told  that  a  name  was  temporarily  suppressed  ? 

And  further,  the  patronizing  one's  equals  or  betters 
being — according  to  Chateaubriand,  Rochefocault,  or 
somebody  else — the  Sauce-Robert  to  all  human  sym 
pathy,  I  don't  wish  to  see  all  major-minor  and  upper- 
tendom  perfectly  overwhelmed  with  obligation,  as  th«y 
might  be,  if  not  content  with  submitting  to  be  viseed, 
examined,  cross-examined,  pitied  and  advised  in  pro- 
pria  persona  I  should  undertake,  heedlessly  or  with 
malice  aforethought,  to  drag  my  father's  name  and  the 
dignity  of  all  spinsterhood  (that  of  the  Madams  can't  be 
compromised,  for  the  experiment's  been  tried),  through 
the  obloquy  of  such  an  utterly  obnoxious  and  altogether 
detestable  ordeal ;  consequently  I  don't  choose  to  specu 
late  so  extensively  in  the  doubtful  stock  of  republican 
gratitude. 

And  that's  very  humane  of  me  I'm  sure,  for  excess  of 
felicity  is  said  to  be  dangerous,  and  might  prove  fatal  to 
some  self-constituted  Parish  Beadle  of  community,  hap 
pening  to  indulge  a  little  too  freely  in  the  bliss  of  asking 
a  lady,  seen  doing  what  no  honest  decent  woman  ever 
would  except  "upon  compulsion,"  "if  she  has  no 
home,  husband,  children,  father,  mother,  brother,  sister," 
and  so  on  ad  infinitum,  "  to  provide  for  her  2"  It's 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  269 

such  a  civil,  gentlemanly  way  of  saying — "I  should 
like  of  all  things  to  commit  you  to  the  stocks  as  a  com 
mon  vagrant,  or  send  you  to  the  Treadmill  as  a  sus 
pected  swindler,  instead  of  advising  you  to  go  on,  or 
back"* — such  a  special  treat,  to  see  by  the  quivering 
lip,  how  easily  you  can  plant  your  talons  in  the  heart 
strings,  how  securely  you  can  go  on  whetting  your  ugly, 
crooked  beak  on  a  naked  nerve,  without  so  much  as 
giving  the  soul  a  single  drop  of  chloroform  to  begin 
with,  that  it's  "  a  wonder,"  all  keen-sighted  fiscal  pur 
veyors  don't  pounce  upon  such  a  dear  delight  of  life,  as 
subject  matter  of  revenue.  Ill-natured  wights  might 
say,  it  was  because  they  chose  to  tax  other  people's 
necessaries,  and  enjoy  their  own  luxuries  gratis ;  but  I 
wouldn't  be  so  sarcastic  for  the  world. 

As  for  the  new  prefix,  it's  far  more  common  and 
therefore  less  distingue  than  my  own,  and  clearly 
"  honored  by  my  use,"  so  if  /  choose,  I  don't  see  that 
any  one  else  has  a  right  to  protest ;  in  a  country  where 
every  second  or  third  man  you  meet,  knows  he  was 
breveted  major,  colonel,  or  general  on  a  steamboat-plank v 
or  at  some  stage  or  railroad  office.  Moreover,  I  have 
divers  of  times,  once  rather  recently,  seen  very  pathetic 
jeremiads  over  feelings  shocked  and  expectations  disap 
pointed,  all  because  many  English  and  most  American 
fassees  will  look  old  (the  graceless,  disobliging  crea 
tures)  "notwithstanding  their  girlish  title,"  yet  never 
have  "•  the  sense  to  follow  the  example*'  of  a  worthy 

*  Where  those  very  elegible  points  of  topography,  "On"  and  "Back," 
are,  is  past  my  power  to  discover;  though  I  have  an  idea  that  On,  must 
be  somewhere  in  the  next  new  Planet,  and  Back,  at  the  bottom  of  the 
old  Cretan  Labyrinth  ;  and  yet,  they  may,  perhaps,  be  in  a  mirage 
somewhere  in  Symmes'  region. 

23 


270  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIB6. 

lady,  known  to  her  own  cotemporaries  and  our  younger 
days  as  "  Mrs.  Hannah  Moore :"  though,  to  be  sure,  we 
of  the  more  enlightened — who  ought  of  course  to  per 
form  more  extraordinary  feats  than  anybody  else — have 
of  late  rejuvenated  her  back  again,  despite  some  eighty 
odd  years,  into-  pretty  little  Miss.  The  last  writer,  I 
believe,  proposes  to  brevet  all  spinsters  of  a  certain  age, 
nolens  volens,  on  the  ground  that  they  might  perhaps 
"  pass  for  very  agreeable  and  even  good-looking,  middle- 
aged,  or  elderly  ladies,"  if  the  "incongruous  Jlfiss" 
wasn't  forever  "  conjuring  up,"  in  startling  contrast, 
"  some  bright  vision  of  youth  and  beauty."  Well,  if 
they  will,  I  suppose  they  will,  if  we  are  all  ever  so 
barbarously  inclined,  so  one  may  as  well  submit  grace 
fully  to  what  is  inevitable.  But  quid  pro  quo  and  if  I 
can't  be  allowed  the  "  concatenation  accordingly,"  that 
same  submission  is  out  of  the  question.  Only  think 
now,  of  putting  a  dissyllable  before  a  whole  handful  of 
consonants,  all  clumped  together  any  how,  and  nearly 
as  ugly  as  Guelph — no  wonder  we've  got  so  little  ear 
for  music  left;  and  why  all  our  mothers  and  grand 
mothers  didn't  prefer  being  Jtfiss-ed  to  the  end  of  time 
(like  Yankee  madams  in  lower  scoredom),  rather  than 
tolerate  such  a  perfectly  unbearable,  ear-grating  juxta 
position  of  sounds,  I'm  sure  I  can't  divine.  Let  my 
Chesterfieldian  friends,  who  will  insist  on  considering 
me  one  of  St.  Paul's  "widows  indeed,"  look  to  it;  for 
I'm  not  certain  but  it's  "  actionable"  as  assault  and 
battery  on  the  auricular  nerve  ! 

Now  that's  what  I  call  "defining  my  position"  a 
merveille,  and  wouldn't  it  make  the  Sovereignty's  Pos 
ture-makers,  attitudinizing  expositors  and  "human 
two-legged  political  dictionaries,"  "  with  inward  envy 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  271 

groan,  to  find  themselves  so  very  much  exceeded,  in 
their  own  way,"  by  an  unofficial  amateur?  I  only  wish 
it  were  half  as  easy  telling  what  I  ever  was  sent  into 
this  world  for  at  all — not  certainly  to  gratify  any  gro 
veling,  earth-ward  propensity  of  mine,  for  I  never  re 
member  the  day  I  didn't  regret  being  here ;  and  most 
assuredly  not  to  refute  the  anti-republican  idea  of  heredi 
tary  transmission,  or  confirm  the  flattering  theory  of 
modern  degeneracy,  for  an  oak,  I  take  it,  is  not  an  osier, 
if  it  does  happen  to  be  uprooted  and  its  foliage 
scattered  to  the  four  winds  of  heaven.  So  if  half  the 
illuminati,  rank  and  file,  were  to  insist  that  they  saw 
"no  cause,"  or  didn't  appreciate  the  motive;  one  of 
our  amiably  vacillating  race,  could  of  course  do  no  less, 
than  feel  sorry,  very  sorry ,  they  should  all  be  so  "right 
royally  fat  in  the  head,"  and  say,  with  one  honest,  obsti 
nate  and  impassible  enough  to  have  been  cousin  german 
to  the  blood,  "I  have  found  you  a  reason,  I  am  not 
obliged  to  find  you  an  understanding  also." 

Don't  be  the  least  alarmed  at  all  these  mysterious- 
looking  hieroglyphics — I  am  not  writing  Polkas,  Ballets, 
and  sky-kicking  flourishes  "  at  all  at  all ;"  only  a  regular 
"skrimmage"  between  my  familiar  and  your  good 
genius,  come  to  the  rescue  in  the  shape  of  a  huge 
candle-fly:  so  "God  prosper  the  right,"  and  here's  much 
love  to  yourself,  a  kiss  for  the  wee  coz.,  and  a  gentle 
hint,  that,  if  not  too  much  trouble,  a  sketch  of  the 
family  portraits  from  "  papa"  down,  would  much  oblige 
your  isolated,  but 

Affectionate  Cousin, 

LOUISE  ELEMJAY. 


272  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

THE   HOME   FEVER, 

RECOLLECTION  OF  THE  WEST  INDIES,  BY  A.  J.  PICKERING. 

A  pearl  of  the  first  water,  that  should  not  be  tossed  back  into  the  sea  of  obli 
vion,  because  the  owner  left,  perhaps,  nothing  else  of  its  kind,  and  the 
finder  has  nothing  to  equal  its  value. 

WE  sate  in  a  green  verandah's  shade, 

Where  the  verdant  "  Tye-tye"  twined 
Its  tendrils  around  us,  and  made 
A  harp  for  the  cool  sea-wind, 
That  came  with  its  low  wild  sound  at  night,   . 
Like  a  sigh  that  is  breathing  of  past  delight. 

And  that  wind,  with  its  low  sweet  breath  had  come, 

From  the  Island  groves  away ; 
And  the  waves,  like  wand'rers  returning  home, 

To  the  banks  rolled  wea-ri-ly : 
And  the  conch's  far  home-call,  the  parrots  cry, 
All  told  that  the  Sabbath  of  night  was  nigh. 

We  sate  alone  in  that  trellised  bower, 
And  gazed  o'er  the  darkening  deep, 
And  the  holy  calm  of  that  twilight  hour 

Came  over  our  hearts  like  sleep ; 
And  we  thought  of  the  banks  and  "bonny  braes," 
That  had  gladdened  our  childhood's  careless  days. 

And  he,  the  friend  by  my  side  that  sate, 

Was  a  boy  whose  path  had  gone 
Along  the  flowers  and  fields  of  joy,  that  fate, 

Like  a  mother,  had  smiled  upon ; 
But  alas  for  the  time  when  our  hope  hath  wings, 
And  mem'ry  to  grief  like  a  syren  sings ! 


LETTERS   AND  MISCELLANIES.  273 

His  home  had  been  on  the  stormy  shore, 

Of  Albyn's  mountain  land  ; 
His  ear  was  tuned  to  the  breaker's  roar, 

And  he  loved  the  bleak  sea-strand ; 
And  the  torrent's  din,  and  the  howling  breeze, 
Had  all  his  soul's  wild  sympathies. 

They  had  told  him  tales  of  the  sunny  lands, 

That  rose  over  Indian  seas, 
Where  the  rivers  wandered  o'er  golden  sands, 

And  strange  fruit  bent  the  trees ; 

They  had  wiled  him  away  from  his  childhood's  hearth, 
With  its  tones  of  love  and  its  voice  of  mirth. 

Now  that  fruit  and  the  river  gems  were  near, 

And  he  strayed  'neath  a  tropic  sun ; 
But  the  voice  of  promise,  that  thrilled  in  his  ear 

At  that  early  time,  was  gone ! 

And  the  hopes  he  had  chased  mid  the  dreams  of  night, 
Had  melted  away  like  the  fire-fly's  light. 

Oh  I  have  watched  him  gazing  long, 

Where  the  home-bound  vessels  lay; 
Cheating  sad  thoughts  with  some  old  song, 

And  striving  to  drive  his  tears  away. 
And  well  I  knew  that  that  weary  breast, 
Like  the  dove  of  the  Deluge,  pined  for  rest. 

There  was  "a  worm  i'  the  bud"  whose  fold 

Defied  the  leech's  art, 
Consumption's  hectic  plague-spot  told 

The  tale  of  a  broken  heart. 


274  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

The  boy  knew  he  was  dying — that  is  sleep, 
To  hearts  that  linger  but  to  watch  and  weep ! 

He  died,  but  mem'ry's  thrilling  power, 

With  its  ghost-like  train  had  come, 
To  the  dark  heart's  ruin,  at  that  last  hour, 

And  he  murmured,  "HOME,  home,  home!' 
And  his  spirit  passed  with  that  happy  dream, 
Like  a  bird  in  the  track  of  a  bright  sunbeam. 

Oh  talk  of  life  to  the  trampled  flower, 

Of  light  to  the  falling  star, 
Of  glory  to  him  who  in  victory's  hour 

Lies  cold  on  the  field  of  war ; 
But  ye  mock  the  exile's  heart  when  ye  tell 
Of  aught  but  the  home  where  it  pines  to  dwell. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  275 


ADDENDA 

BETWEEN  SUSPENSION  AND  RESUMPTION  OF  WORK. 

EVELYN. 

Written  on  hearing,  seven  months  after  date,  of  her 
Decease,  Aug.  18^A,  1851. 

THE  last,  the  last,  the  last!     Alone, 

And  u darkness  visible"  around; 
Night's  voices  strange  and  eery  grown, 

And  life  a  vague  and  mocking  sound. 

Half  death,  half  life,  how  vain  the  gaze 
For  anchors  cast  in  time's  wild  stream  ; 

It  cannot  pierce  the  gath'ring  haze 

That  shrouds  earth's  long  and  fevered  dream. 

It  sees  no  smile  of  days  gone  by, 

Gleaming  above  life's  sullen  wave ; 
What  once  was  hope  is  now  a  sigh — 

Wingless  and  blind  she  needs  a  grave ! 

****** 
I  know  full  well  why  ills  betide, 

And  disappointment  mars  my  schemes — 
I've  lost  the  angel  from  my  side, 

The  spirit-counsel  from  my  dreams. 

I  never  deemed  that  soothing  tone 
Again  would  bless  my  waking  ear, 

But  ever  at  th'  Eternal  throne, 
I  knew  it  pleaded  for  me  here ! 


276  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

That  fervent  prayer,  averting  ill, 
That  earnest  love,  invoking  care, 

For  husband,  child  and  sister,  still 

The  lone,  lone  heart,  but  ill  could  sparo 

I  hear  a  husband's  lonely  wail, 
I  hear  an  orphan's  bitter  moan  ; 

And  wander  down  life's  dreary  vale, 
Alone,  alone,  oh  God  how  lone ! 

We  may  not  soothe  each  other's  grief, 
We  may  not  wipe  each  other's  tear  ; 

Our  Father  God,  bring  thou  relief, 
And  bind  the  hearts  left  broken  here ! 

Louisville,  Ky.,  March  24iA,  1852. 


"A  L'OUTKANCE." 

Indorsed,  (after  second  perusal,  three  months  from 
date})  on  notice  of  suspension  and  rather  cool  ad 
vice  to  forego  resumption. 

I  HAVE  faith  in  thee  yet,  my  destiny's  star, 
High  hope  and  a  trust  that  abides  evermore ; 

The  crag  may  be  steep  and  the  eyrie  afar — 
The  eagle  shall  yet  to  its  pinnacle  soar ! 

His  plume  may  be  reft  and  his  heart  may  be  cold, 
For  the  chain  that  still  chafes  hath  galled  him  full  long ; 

But  his  spirit  is  brave,  and  never  of  old 
Were  his  pinion  and  glance  more  daring  and  strong. 


LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES.  277 

Oh  child  of  the  sun,  half  buried  in  clay  I 

Oh  vision  of  light  that  upward  would  soar ! 
Oh  proud  bird  of  Jove,  one  spring  and  away — 

Thy  home  it  is  high,  evermore^  EVERMORE  ! 

^  * 

Dark,  dark  lies  the  shadow  on  future  and  past, 
Yet  music  still  sleeps  in  the  harp's  latest  string ; 

vEolian  tones  may  be  wrung  from  the  blast — 
On,  on,  tameless  bird  of  the  poor  broken  wing ! 

Disaster  may  crush,  never  conquer  the  brave ! 

The  day  is  not  lost  while  the  cry  is  ADVANCE! 
And  proudly  the  triumph  rings  back  from  the  grave, 

"No  VICTOR  IN  LIFE,  I  have  warred  ' a  I'outrance.'" 

April  27«A. 


PASS  ON. 
A  Dirge  for  the  Mighty. 

BANNER,  tramp,  peal  and  booming  knell, 
Night's  sable  pomp  round  setting  sun ; 

A  nation's  pride  and  sorrow  tell, 
Yet  genius  lives — LIFE  is  fiegun  ! 

Pass  on. 

Pass  on — earth  has  no  more  to  give, 

Youth's  sun  has  set,  Time's  brow  is  wan ; 

The  honors,  meeds  for  which  men  live, 

Thou'st  won  them,  worn  them,  pass  thou  on. 

Pass  on. 


278  LETTERS   AND   MISCELLANIES. 

Title  and  mace  of  little  worth, 

Thy  country  gives  to  meaner  mind ; 

To  thee,  such  power  as  few  on  earth 
Had  wielded  nobly  for  their  kind. 

Pass  on. 

Never  such  hearts  as  clung  to  thee, 
Shrined  in  such  love  a  master  name ; 

Never  such  page  as  thine  shall  be, 
May  time  efface — THOU  art  for  fame. 

Pass  on. 

Faction  its  breath  hath  idly  spent, 

Thy  stately  tread  hath  onward  passed ; 
"ALL'S  WELL!"     Thou  hast  thy  monument — • 
The  stars,  thy  fitting  pall  at  last ! 

Pass  on. 

All  time  is  thine — thy  name  a  spell — 

An  segis  to  a  world  is  given ! 
Life  gave  thee  toil,  death  rest — 'tis  well — 

Earth  can  no  more — God  gives  thee  heaven. 

PASS  ON. 

Isxington,  Ky.,  July  10th,  1852. 


THE      END. 


MOORE,     ANDERSON,     &    CO.'S     PUBLICATIONS. 


THREE    GREAT    TEMPTATIONS! 

Second  Thousand  iu  One  month  !  !  ! 

THE  THREE  GREAT  TEMPTATIONS  OF  YOUNG  MEN— 
With  several  Lectures  addressed  to  Business  and  Professional 
Men  :  By  SAMUEL  W.  FISHER.  1  vol.  12mo.,  pp.  336.  $1. 

CONTENTS. 

THE  SIRENS,  THE  SLAYER  OF  THE  STRONG, 

THE  WINE-CUP,  THE  PLAY-HOUSB, 

THE  CARD-TABLE,  THE  WEB  OP  VICE, 

THE  CHRISTIAN  LAWYER,  THE  PATH  OF  INFIDELITY, 

THE  MOSAIC  LAW  OF  USURY,  COMMERCIAL  MORALITY' 

"A  WORK  of  unusual  attraction.  We  know  not  where  to  have  seen  these  subjects  so  im 
pressively,  yet  so  properly  and  guardedly  examined.  Far  above  common-place  specimens. 
They  expose  dangers  of  terrible  imminence,  and  urge  persuasions  of  incomparable  impor 
tance,  in  a  way  that  offends  not  the  taste,  yet  reaches  the  heart  and  engages  the  thoughts." 
JV.  T.  Evangelist.  ' 

"ABLE  and  often  eloquent.  *  *  *  A  work  which  may  well  be  put  into  the  hands  of 
youth  just  entering  upon  life." — N.  Y.  Observer. 

"  WE  shall  put  the  book  by  upon  one  of  the  choice  shelves  of  our  private  library." — .Bos 
ton  Conffregationalist. 

"  THE  author's  style  is  not  less  clear  and  forcible  than  ornate  and  eloquent."  —  Detroit 
Herald. 

"CHARACTERIZED  by  earnestness,  eloquence,  and  adaptation  to  the  end  had  in  view." — N. 
T.  Recorder. 

"  PAINTS  in  vigorous  language  the  horrible  consequences  of  vice." — Boston  Post. 

"  WE  would  that  every  young  man  in  the  land  could  be  persuaded  to  read  it  carefully." — 
Louisville  Recorder. 

"  DR.  Fisher  has  spoken  honestly  and  boldly.  *  *  *  Characterized  by  great  energy 
of  thought,  »  free  and  copious  style,  and  by  a  spirit  of  high  Christian  philanthropy." — 
Puritan  Recorder. 

"  HAS  proceeded  boldly  where  most  public  teachers  are  too  timid  to  venture,  and  his 
manly  plainness  is  also  marked  by  prudence,  and  true  delicacy." — Presbyterian  of  the  West. 

"  WRITTEN  in  a  style  most  inviting  to  youth  and  worthy  of  a  very  wide  circulation." — 
Cincinnati  Ch.  Herald. 

"  WILL  do  much  good  to  that  great  class  of  young  men  who,  reared  in  the  country,  are 
daily  transferred  to  the  cities  and  make  up  their  effective  population." — Worcester  (Mass.) 
Palladium. 

"  MR.  Fisher  speaks  pointedly  and  plainly.  Let  young  men  listen  and  learn." — Philadel 
phia  Presbyterian. 

"  WORTHY  of  an  attentive  perusal." — Philadelphia  Observer. 

"THE  man,  who  sits  down  to  the  perusal  of  this  volume,  must  rise  up  wiser  and  better, 
if  there  be  any  virtue  in  good  counsel  benutifully  and  touchingly  given," — Madifun  Cour'r. 

"TnE  style  is  bold,  manly,  and  vigorous,  and  in  some  portions  very  beautiful.  *  *  In 
the  name  of  the  young  men  of  our  cities,  we  thank  Dr.  Fisher  for  preparing  and  sending 
forth  so  timely  a  volume." — Presbyterian  Herald. 

"  The  teachings  of  the  excellent  preacher  will  be  regarded  as  unfashionable,  and  so  they 
are,  but  their  value  is  no  less  certain,  and  their  practical  workings  cannot  but  be  vastly 
beneficial  to  the  tone  of  society."— JV.  Y.  Daily  Times. 


MOORE   &   ANDERSON'S    PUBLICATIONS 

P  U  L  T  E'S 

HOUKEOPATHIC    DOMESTIC    PHYSICIAN 

ILLUSTRATED  WITH  ANATOMICAL  PLATES. 
jDUntl)    QTI)0tt0anb. 

"  A  very  lucid  and  useful  hand-book.  Its  popular  language,  and  exclu 
sion  of  difficult  terminology  are  decided  recommendations.  Its  success  is 
good  evidence  of  the  value  of  the  work." — N.  Y.  Times. 

"  This  appears  to  be  a  very  successful  publication.  It  has  now  reached 
its  third  edition,  which  is  a  revised  and  enlarged  one;  and  we  learn  from  the 
title  page  that  eight  thousand  copies  have  been  published.  Various  addi 
tions  have  been  made  to  the  Homoeopathic  directions,  and  the  anatomical 
part  of  the  work  has  been  illustrated  with  engravings.  The  work  has  re 
ceived  the  approbation  of  several  of  our  most  eminent  practitioners." — 
Evening  Post. 

"  A  nicely  printed  volume,  and  it  appears  to  be  a  finished  one  of  its  kind. 
It  embraces  all  possible  directions  for  the  treatment  of  diseases,  with  elab 
orate  descriptions  of  symptoms,  and  an  abridged  Materia  Medica." — Boston 
Post. 

"  It  is  very  comprehensive  and  very  explicit." — N.  Y.  Evangelist. 

"Though  not  at  present  exclusively  confined  to  the  medical  profession,  we 
have  been  consulted,  during  the  past  year,  in  some  fifty  or  sixty  cases, 
some  of  which,  according  to  the  opinion  of  the  far-sighted  and  sagacious, 
were  very  bad  and  about  to  die,  and  would  die  if  trusted  to  Homoeopathy, 
and  some  were  hopeless,  which  are  now  a  wonder  unto  many  in  the  change 
which  the  homoeopathic  treatment  alone  effected.  Now  what  of  all  this  ? 
Why,  just  this,  we  have  used  Dr.  Pulte's  book  for  our  Directory  ;  we  have 
tested  it  as  a  safe  counselor  ;  —  and  we  say  to  our  friends  who  have  wished 
we  would  get  up  a  book  for  them,  just  get  Pulte's  Domestic  Physician  and 
the  remedies,  and  set  up  for  yourselves." — Cattaraugus  Chronicle. 

"I  have  recommended  it  to  my  patients  as  being  —  for  conciseness,  pre 
cision,  and  practical  utility  —  unsurpassed  either  in  my  native  or  adopted 
country." — Dr.  Granger  of  St.  Louis. 

"  The  plan  and  execution  of  Pulte's  Homoeopathic  Domestic  Physician, 
render  it  in  my  opinion  the  best  work  of  its  kind  extant  for  popular  use. 

"  ROBERT  ROSMAN,  M.  D., 

"Brooklyn." 

"I  have  found,  upon  careful  perusal, '  The  Domestic  Physician,'  by  Dr. 
Pulte,  to  be  concise  and  comprehensive  in  its  description  of  diseases,  and 
accurate  in  the  application  of  remedies;  but  its  chief  advantage  over  othet 
works  of  the  same  design,  appears  to  me,  to  be  the  facility  with  which  it  is 
understood  by  the  lay  practitioner.  I  consider  it  a  valuable  and  useful  book 
of  reference  in  domestic  practice.  The  professional  ability  and  extensive 
practical  experience  of  the  author,  are  alone  sufficient  recommendation  for 
its  value.  A.  COOKE  HULL,  M.  D., 

76  State  St.,  Brooklyn. 


MOORE     &     ANDERSON'S     PUBLICATIONS. 

A  CONCISE  HISTORY  OF  ENGLAND,  to  the  accession  of 

Queen  Victoria,  by  Clark,  edited  by  Prof.  Moffat.  New  edi 
tion  with  a  series  of  Questions  : 

"  WE  know  of  no  history  of  England  of  the  same  size,  so  calculated  to 
give  the  reader  a  clear  view  of  the  complicated  events  of  that  country  as  the 
one  before  us." — N.  Y.  Christian  Intelligencer. 

"As  a  compend  to  be  always  at  hand,  it  is  superior  to  any  we  have 
seen." — Christian  Herald. 

"  IT  will  be  found  a  useful  summary  of  English  History,  combining  the 
attractiveness  of  a  narrative  with  the  advantages  of  brevity  and  chronologi 
cal  definiteness." — N.  Y.  Courier  fy  Enquirer. 

"AN  excellent  outline  of  English  History.  It  would  make  a  capital  text 
book  for  our  schools  and  colleges.  It  shows  what  the  people,  as  well  as  the 
Kings  of  England,  were  doing." — Enquirer. 

"JusT  what  it  purports  to  be — a  concise,  clear,  and  methodical  outline  of 
English  history,  well  adapted  for  school  purposes  and  for  young  readers. 
It  gives  an  easy  narrative,  and  condenses  all  the  principal  facts  in  a  way  to 
convey  much  instruction,  and  at  the  same  time  to  excite  a  desire  for  larger 
works." — N.  Y.  Evangelist. 

"  THIS  is  one  of  the  best  and  most  useful  text-books  of  history  we  have 
ever  examined;  and  it  would  be  difficult  to  decide  whether  it  is  entitled  to 
greater  commendation  for  its  succinct  and  correct  statement  of  facts  or  the 
terse  and  pure  language  in  which  it  is  written." — Lawrenceburg  Register. 

"A  SINGLE  duodecimo  volume,  offering  a  brief  narrative,  a  skeleton  map, 
as  it  were,  of  the  events  of  English  history.  It  is  neatly  written,  a  good 
manual  for  instruction,  and  a  useful  book  of  reference  in  the  library,  when 
one  has  not  the  leisure  to  hunt  a  fact  through  larger  works.  The  additions, 
exhibiting  the  progress  of  society,  are  judiciously  made." — Literary  World. 

"  THIS  is  a  clear,  succinct,  well-arranged  history:  it  will  be  found  very 
convenient  for  reference,  and  well  adapted  for  the  use  of  classes.  We  com 
mend  it  to  all  who  wish  for  such  a  manual." — Ohio  Jour,  of  Education. 

"  THIS  is  a  very  comprehensive  manual  of  English  History.  *  *  As  a 
class-book  in  our  schools  it  will  be  invaluable." — Hartford,  Conn.,  Daily 
Times. 

"I  HAVE  never  used  a  text-book  with  more  satisfaction.  *  *  *  After 
using  it  nearly  a  year,  I  most  confidently  recommend  it  to  the  favorable 
attention  of  the  public.  EDWARD  COOPER, 

President  of  Asbury  Female  College,  New  Albany,  Indiana, 
formerly  Editor  N.  Y.  District  School  Journal. 


MOORE    &    ANDERSON'S    PUBLICATIONS. 

ii  i  <*n  mi  M.rir.s  rvi-:\v  BOOK. 

SCENES  AND  LEGENDS  OF  THE  NOKTH  OF  SCOTLAND. 
By  Hugh  Miller,  author  of  "  Footprints  of  the  Creator."  1  vol. 
12  mo.  Pp.436.  Price  $1. 

"  A  delightful  book  by  one  of  the  most  delightful  of  living  authors."  — 
N.  Y.  Cour.  and  Enq. 

"In  this  book  Hugh  Miller  appears  as  the  simple  dramatist,  reproducing 
home  stories  and  legends  in  their  native  costume,  and  in  full  life.  The  vol 
ume  is  rich  in  entertainment  for  all  lovers  of  the  genuine  Scotch  character." 
N.  Y.  Independent. 

"  Fascinating  portraits  of  quaint  original  characters  and  charming  tales  of 
the  old  faded  superstitions  of  Scotland,  make  up  the  '  Scenes  and  Legends.' 
Purity  of  diction  and  thoughtful  earnestness,  •with  a  vein  of  easy,  half-con 
cealed  humor  pervading  it,  are  the  characteristics  of  the  author's  style.  Ad 
ded  to  these,  in  the  present  volume,  are  frequent  touches  of  the  most  elegantly 
•wrought  fancy ;  passages  of  sorrowful  tenderness  that  change  the  opening 
smile  into  a  tear,  and  exalted  sentiment  that  brings  reflection  to  the  heart." 
Citizen. 

"This  is  a  book  which  will  be  read  by  those  who  have  read  the  other  works 
of  this  distinguished  author.  His  beautiful  style,  his  powers  of  description, 
his  pathos,  his  quiet  humor  and  manly  good  sense  would  give  interest  to 
any  subject.  *  *  There  is  no  part  of  the  book  that  is  not  interesting." — 
Louisville  Journal. 

"  This  is  one  of  the  most  unique  and  original  books  that  has  been  written 
for  many  years,  uniting  in  a  singularly  happy  manner  all  the  charms  of  fic 
tion  to  the  more  substantial  and  enduring  graces  of  truth.  The  author  is  a 
capital  story  teller,  prefacing  what  he  has  to  say  with  no  learned  circumlo 
cutions.  "We  cannot  now  call  to  mind  any  other  style  that  so  admirably  com 
bines  every  requisite  for  this  kind  of  writing,  with  the  exception  of  that  of 
his  more  illustrious  countryman,  Scott,  as  the  one  Hugh  Miller  possesses." — 
Columbian. 

"  The  contents  of  the  book  will  be  as  instructive  and  entertaining,  as  the 
exterior  is  elegant  and  attractive.  Hugh  Miller  writes  like  a  living  man,  who 
has  eyes,  and  ears,  and  intellect,  and  a  heart  of  his  own,  and  not  like  a  gal 
vanized  skeleton,  who  inflicts  his  dull  repetitions  of  what  other  men  have 
seen  and  felt  in  stately  stupidity  upon  their  unfortunate  readers.  His  obser 
vation  is  keen,  and  his  powers  of  description  unrivaled.  His  style  is  like  a 
mountain-stream,  that  flows  on  in  beauty  and  freshness,  imparting  enliven 
ing  influences  all  around.  His  reflections,  when  he  indulges  in  them,  are 
just  and  impressive." — Christian  Herald. 

"  Tales  so  romantic,  yet  so  natural,  and  told  in  a  vein  of  unaffected  sim 
plicity  and  graphic  delineation,  rivaling  Hogg  and  Scott,  of  the  same  land, 
will  command  avast  number  of  admiring  readers." — N.  Y.  Christ.  Intel. 

"  The  interest  of  its  facts  far  exceeds  romance." — N.  Y.  Evan. 
"  This  book  is  worthy  of  a  place  by  the  side  of  the  world -renowned  vol 
umes  which  have  already  proceeded  from  the  same  pen." — Phil.  Chronicle. 


MOORE     &    ANDERSON'S     PUBLICATIONS. 
STRAWBERRY  AND  GRAPE  CULTURE. 

MOORE  &  ANDERSON  have  just  published  a  small  volume 
of  one  hundred  and  forty-two  pages,  12  mo.,  entitled  THE  CUL 
TURE  OF  THE  GRAPE  AND  WINE  MAKING,  by  Robert  Buchanan, 
Member  of  the  Cincinnati  Horticultural  Society,  jtfth  an  Ap 
pendix,  containing  DIRECTIONS  FOR  THE  CULTIVATION  OF  THE 
STRAWBERRY,  by  N.  Longworth.  Put  up  for  sending  by  mail, 
in  flexible  cloth  ;  price  50  cents  ;  cloth,  usual  style,  62^-  cents. 

This  volume  should  be  in  the  hands  of  every  cultivator  of  these  delicious 
fruits.  For  it  embodies,  in  a  compact  and  available  form,  the  experience  of 
accomplished  and  practical  Horticulturists  on  subjects  which  have  come  di 
rectly  under  their  own  observation  for  a  long  series  of  years. 

Of  a  former  edition  of  "Buchanan  on  the  Grape,"  published  by  the 
author,  mainly  for  the  convenience  of  himself  and  his  friends,  we  subjoin 
a  few 

NOTICES     OF     THE     PRESS. 

Mr.  Downing,  in  his  Horticulturist  says  :  "  It  deals  more  with  facts,  ac 
tual  experience,  and  observation,  and  less  with  speculation,  supposition  and 
belief,  than  anything  on  this  topic  that  has  yet  appeared  in  the  United  States. 
In  other  words,  a  man  may  take  it,  and  plant  a  vineyard,  and  raise  grapes 
•with  success. 

"Furnishes,  in  a  small  space,  a  very  great  amount  of  instructive  informa 
tion  relative  to  the  culture  of  the  Grape.  — Farmer's  and  Planter's  Encyclo 
paedia. 

"  Will  be  found  to  convey  the  most  opportune  and  valuable  instruction, 
to  all  interested  in  the  subject." — Neill's  Fruit  and  Flower  Garden. 

MOORE  <fe  ANDERSON,  Publishers, 

28  West  Fourth  Street,  Cincinnati. 


BORROWS  ROVING  ADVENTURES;  By  GEO.  BORROW, 
Author  of  "The  Gipsies  in  Spain,"  "  The  Bible  in  Spain,"  etc. 
"With  fine  portrait.  Large  type.  Complete  in  one  beautiful  oc 
tavo  volume.  Pp.  550. 

"He  colors  like  Rembrandt,  and  draws  like  Spagnoletti." — Edinburgh 
Review. 

"  The  pictures  are  so  new  that  those  best  acquainted  with  England  will 
find  it  hard  to  recognize  the  land  they  may  have  traveled  over." — National 
Intelligencer. 

"  We  could  hardly  sleep  at  night  for  thinking  of  it." — Blackwood, 


MOORE    &    ANDERSON'S    PUBLICATIONS. 

SERVICE  AFLOAT  AND  ASHORE:  By  LIEUT.  RAPHAEL 

SEMMES,  U.  S.  N. 

"  UNLIKE  most  similar  works,  this  has  no  one  hero,  unless  the  natural 
partiality  manifested  for  General  Worth,  may  be  considered  as  giving 
him  a  more  marked  elevation.  It  is  neither  adorned  nor  disfigured  with 
vulgar  anecdotes,  to  gratify  a  morbid  love  of  the  marvelous.  The 
author  writes  right  on  :  like  a  man  who  seeks  to  tell  the  truth.  He  crit 
icises  freely,  whatever,  high  or  low,  his  Sailor's  eye  deems  worthy 
of  comment.  The  intelligent  reader  will  be  pleased  with  the  frankness 
and  independence  of  the  writer." — Newark  Daily  Advertiser. 

"  HE  was  early  engaged  in  the  blockade  of  the  Mexican  ports,  and 
narrowly  escaped  death  while  in  command  of  the  Somers;  afterward, 
through  fortuitous  circumstances,  he  became  a  participant  in,  and 
observer  of,  nearly  all  the  stirring  incidents  in  General  Scott's  triumph 
ant  march  to  the  Capital.  *  *  *  Lieut.  Semmes  possesses  the  fac 
ulty  of  describing  comprehensively,  intricate  occurrences,  and  seizes 
upon  the  prominent  points  of  a  field  of  battle,  and  presents  them  in  such 
a  manner  that  we  are,  as  it  were  eye  witnesses  of  the  scene.  We  have 
rarely  read  a  work,  put  forward  with  so  little  pretension,  so  intrinsi 
cally  valuable." — Mobile  Daily  Advertiser. 

"  THIS  is  an  elegant  volume  in  every  respect.  *  *  *  The  work 
is  written  with  great  spirit,  taste  and  ability.  We  have  seen  no  work 
which  has  given  us  such  vivid  impressions  of  Mexican  scenery  and  char 
acter,  or  the  events  of  General  Scott's  campaign.  *  *  *  He  has  thrown 
around  the  country,  the  people,  and  the  expedition,  a  flood  of  illumina 
tion  from  the  historians  of  the  Spanish  march  and  conquests  over  the 
same  regions.  *  *  *  The  whole  book  inspires  and  sustains  an  inter 
est  of  which  the  reader  can  form  no  opinion,  unless  he  goes  through, 
which  he  will  not  fail  to  do,  if  he  begins." — Southern  Press. 

"  CALM,  deliberate,  and  intelligent,  as  he  is,  he  cannot  entirely  con 
ceal  his  personal  preferences.  He  has,  notwithstanding,  furnished  the 
very  best  book  which  that  war  has  called  forth,  and,  with  remarkable  in 
telligence  and  skill,  has  interwoven  the  events  of  the  war  with  saga 
cious  observations  on  the  country  and  people." — Phil.  Presbyterian. 

"  A  beautiful  and  very  interesting  volume,  which,  from  the  glances 
we  have  had  time  to  give  it,  appears  to  be  written  with  much  ability, 
and  to  afford  the  reader  a  great  deal  of  valuable  information  in  regard 
to  the  war,  the  country,  and  the  people." — Bait.  American. 

"  A  most,  interesting  addition  to  the  literature  of  a  war,  odious  in  its 
origin,  as  it  was  triumphant  in  its  progress,  and  happy  in  its  conse 
quences." — Puritan  Recorder. 

"  IT  is  written  with  a  spirit  and  life  that  commend  it  to  perusal." — 
N.  Y.  Observer. 

"  AN  accomplished  writer  as  well  as  gallant  officer." — Philadelphia 
Observer. 

"  IT  is  difficult,  after  having  commenced  /""a  perusal,  to  lay  it  aside 
before  finishing  it." — Norfolk  Daily  News. 


MOORE    &   ANDERSON'S    PUBLICATIONS. 

"  Will  prove  mare  generally  useful,  than  any  other  work  yet 

published  on  Geology." 

THE  COURSE  OF  CREATION :  By  JOHN  ANDERSON,  D.  D.,  of  New- 
burgh,  Scotland.    With  a  Glossary  of  Scientific  Terms.    1  vol.  12mo. 

Illustrated,  $1.25. 

"  IT  treats  chiefly  of  the  series  of  rocks  between  the  Alps  and  the  Grampians.  It  it 
thoroughly  scientific,  but  popular  in  its  style,  and  exceedingly  entertaining." — Zion't 
Herald. 

"  THE  author's  style  is  clear  and  engaging,  and  his  graphic  descriptions  seem  to  con 
vey  the  reader  at  once  into  the  fields  of  geological  research  to  observe  for  himself." — 
Ohio  Observer. 

"ANOTHER  valuable  contribution  to  the  cause  of  truth  and  sonnd  science.  Its  value 
is  very  much  enhanced  by  the  Glossary  of  Scientific  Terms  appended  to  it  by  the  pub 
lishers;  for  scarcely  any  one  of  the  sciences  has  a  larger  number  of  terms  with  which 
ordinary  readers  are  unacquainted  than  Geology." — Presbyterian  of  the  West. 

"  WE  commend  the  volume  to  all  who  would  be  instructed  in  the  wonderful  workt 
of  God.  Chapters  such  as  that  on  the  "Economic  History  of  Coal,"  and  those  on  "Or 
ganic  Life"  and  "Physical  and  Moral  Progression,"  have  a  special  value  for  the  stu 
dent  of  divine  Providence." — JV.  Y.  Independent. 

"DR.  ANDERSON  is  evidently  well  skilled  in  geology,  and  writes  with  a  freedom 
and  vivacity  rivaled  by  no  writer  on  the  subject — except  Hugh  Miller." — Methodist 
Quarterly  Review. 

"THIS  book  is  intended  for  general  readers, — and  such  readers  will  be  entertained 
by  it, — but  it  is  none  the  less  thorough,  and  enters  boldly  into  geological  inquiry." — 
Boston  Advertiser. 

"  ONE  of  the  most  interesting  and  valuable  works  on  Geology  that  we  have  ever  met 
with.  The  author  is  a  thoroughly  scientific  man; — but  his  scientific  accuracy  does  not 
prevent  the  work  from  being  understood  by  unscientific  readers,  it  is  a  very  readabli 
book." — Louisville  Journal. 

"  13  Y  reading  this  book  a  person  can  obtain  a  general  knowledge  of  the  whole  subject." 
—  Western  Star. 

•  »  •  "Highly  honorable  to  the  writer  and  honorable  to  the  publishers." — Boston 
Congregationalist. 

"THIS  valuable  volume  was  printed.  :>s  well  as  published,  in  Cincinnati;  and  it 
speaks  as  well  for  the  literary  society  of  that  city,  as  for  the  enterprise  of  the  publish, 
ers,  and  the  taste  and  skill  of  the  typographer." — Boston  Post. 

"  IT  is  one  of  the  significant  signs  of  the  times  that  we  should  be  receiving  a  work 
like  this,  from  a  city  that  had  scarcely  an  existence  fifty  years  ago,  got  np  in  a  style 
of  elegance,  that  ranks  it  beside  the  finest  issues  of  the  publishing  houses  of  Boston 
and  New  York.  This  fact,  however,  is  but  the  smallest  element  of  interest  that  attaches 
to  the  volnme.  It  is  one  of  those  noble  contributions  to  natural  science,  in  its  relation 
to  revealed  religion,  which  in  the  writings  of  Hugh  Miller,  King,  Brewster,  and  others 
have  conferred  new  luster  on  the  honored  name  of  Scotland.  *  •  *  The  concluding 
chapter  is  a  sublime  questioning  of  Geology,  as  to  the  testimony  she  gives  to  a  Creator, 
somewhat  after  the  manner  of  the  Scholia,  to  Newton's  Principia,  and  is  one  of  the 
noblest  portions  of  the  work." — Richmond,  Pa.,  Watchman  and  Observer. 

"THB  science  of  Geology  is  attracting  more  and  more  attention.  •  »  •  That 
whicn  was  once  a  gigantic  chaos,  has  become  developed  into  a  system  beautifully  sym 
metrical,  and  infinitely  grand." — Mercantile  Courier. 


THE  UNION  OF  THE  HOLY  SPIRIT  AND  THE  CHURCH,  in  the  Conversion 
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REPUBLICAN  CHRISTIANITY  ;  or.  True  Liberty,  as  exhibited  in  the  Life,  Pre 
cepts,  and  Early  Disciples  of  the  Great  Redeemer.  By  Rev.  E.  L.  SLAGOON,  Author  of 
"  Proverbs  for  the  People,"  &c.  Second  edition.  12mo, cloth 1,25 

PROVERBS  FOR  THE  PEOPLE;  or,  Illustrations  of  Practical  Godliness,  drawn 
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12mo, cloth,....  ,90 

COLEMAN'S  PRIMITIVE  CHURCH.  The  Apostolical  and  Primitive  Church, 
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"  Christian  Antiquities  ;  "  with  an  Introductory  Essay,  by  Dr.  A.  NEANDER.  Third 
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LIFE  OF  PHILIP  MELANCTHON,  comprising  an  Accountof  the  most  important 
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1 2mo, cloth, ....  ,75 

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THE  INCARNATION.  By  ROLUS  H.  NEALE,  D.  D.,  Pastor  of  the  First  Baptist 
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THE  FOOT-PRINTS  OF  THE  CREATOR  ;  or,  the  Asterolepsis  of  Stromness, 
•with  numerous  illustrations.  By  HUGH  MILLER,  author  of  "  The  Old  Red  Sandstone," 
&c.  From  the  third  London  Edition.  With  a  Memoir  of  the  author,  by  Lows  AGASSIZ. 
12nio, v cloth, 1,00 

DB.  BUCKLAND,  at  a  meeting  of  the  British  Association,  said  he  had  never  been  so  much  aston 
ished  in  his  life,  by  the  powers  of  any  man,  as  he  had  been  by  the  geological  descriptions  of  Mr. 
Miller.  That  wonderful  man  described  these  objects  with  a  facility  which  made  him  ashamed  of 
the  comparative  meagreness  and  poverty  of  his  own  descriptions  in  the  "  Bridgewater  Treatise," 
which  had  cost  him  hours  and  days  of  labor.  He  would  give  his  l<y't  hand  to  possess  such  powers 
of  description  as  this  man;  and  if  it  pleased  Providence  to  spare  his  useful  life,  he,  if  any  one, 
would  certainly  render  science  attractive  and  popular,  and  do  equal  service  to  theology  and  geology. 

"  Mr.  Miller's  style  is  remarkably  pleasing;  his  mode  of  popularizing  geological  knowledge  un- 
lurpassed,  perhaps  unequalled;  and  the  deep  reverence  for  Divine  Revelation  pervading  all,  adds 
interest  and  value  to  the  volume." — lfew  York  Com.  Advertiser. 

u  The  publishers  have  again  covered  themselves  with  honor,  by  giving  to  the  American  public, 
with  the  Author's  permission,  an  elegant  reprint  of  a  foreign  work  of  science.  We  earnestly 
bespeak  for  this  work  a  wide  and  free  circulation,  among  all  who  love  science  much  and  religion 
more." — Puritan  Recorder. 

THE  OLD  RED  SANDSTONE  ;  or,  New  Walks  in  an  Old  Field.  By  HOQH  MILLER. 
Illustrated  with  Plates  and  Geological  Sections.  12mo, cloth 1,00 

"  Sir.  Miller's  exceedingly  interesting  book  on  this  formation  ia  just  the  sort  of  work  to  render 
any  subject  popular.  It  is  written  in  a  remarkably  pleasing  style,  and  contains  a  wonderful 
amount  of  information."  —  Westminster  Review. 

"  It  is  withal,  one  of  the  most  beautiful  specimens  of  English  composition  to  be  found,  convey 
ing  information  on  a  most  difficult  and  profound  science,  in  a  style  at  once  novel,  pleasing  and 
elegant.  It  contains  the  results  of  twenty  years  close  observation  and  experiment,  resulting  in  an 
accumulation  of  facts,  which  not  only  dissipate  some  dark  and  knotty  old  theories  with  regard  to 
ancient  formations,  but  establish  the  great  truths  of  geology  in  more  perfect  and  harmonious  con 
sistency  with  the  great  truths  of  revelation." — Albany  Spectator. 

PRINCIPLES  OF  ZOOLOGY  :  Touching  the  Structure,  Development,  Distribution, 
and  Natural  Arrangement  of  the  RACES  OF  ANIMALS  living  and  extinct,  with  numerous 
illustrations.  For  the  use  of  Schools  and  Colleges.  Part  I.,  COMPARATIVE  PHYSIOLOGY. 
By  Louis  AGASSIZ  and  AUGUSTUS  A.  GOULD.  Revised  edition.  12mo, . .  .cloth, . . .  .1,00 

"  This  work  places  us  in  possession  of  information  half  a  century  in  advance  of  all  our  elemen 
tary  works  on  this  subject  *  *  No  work  of  the  same  dimensions  has  ever  appeared  in  the 
English  language,  containing  so  much  new  and  valuable  information  on  the  subject  of  which  it 
treats." — Prof.  James  Hall,  in  the  Albany  Journal. 

"  A  work  emanating  from  so  high  a  source  hardly  requires  commendation  to  give  it  currency. 
The  volume  is  prepared  for  the  student  in  zoological  science ;  it  is  simple  and  elementary  in  its 
style,  full  in  its  illustrations,  comprehensive  in  its  range,  yet  well  condensed,  and  brought  into  the 
narrow  compass  requisite  for  the  purpose  Intended." — Silliman's  Journal, 

"  The  work  may  safely  be  recommended  as  the  best  book  of  the  kind  in  our  language." — Chris 
tian  Examiner. 

"  It  is  not  a  mere  book,  but  a  work — a  real  work  in  the  form  of  a  book.  Zoology  is  an  interesting 
science,  and  here  is  treated  with  a  masterly  hand.  The  history,  anatomical  structure,  the  nature 
and  habits  of  numberless  animals,  are  described  in  clear  and  plain  language  and  illustrated  with 
innumerable  engravings.  It  is  a  work  adapted  to  colleges  and  schools,  and  no  young  man  should 
be  without  it." — Scientific  American. 

PRINCIPLES  OF  ZOOLOGY,  PART  II.  Systematic  Zoology,  in  which  the  Prin 
ciples  of  Classification  are  applied,  and  the  principal  groups  of  animals  are  briefly 
characterized.  With  numerous  illustrations .  12m o, [in  preparation] 


THE  EARTH  AND  MAN:  Lectures  on  COMPARATIVE  PHYSICAL  GEOGRAPHY,  in  its 
relation  to  the  History  of  Mankind.  By  ARSOLD  GCYOT,  Professor  of  Physical  Geography 
and  History,  Neuchatel.  Translated  from  the  French,  by  Prof.  C.  C.  FELTOX,  with  illus 
trations.  Second  thousand.  12mo, ; cloth,....  1,25 

uTho*e  who  have  been  accustomed  to  regard  Geography  as  a  merely  descriptive  branch  of  learn - 
Jig,  drier  than  the  remainder  biscuit  after  a  voyage,  will  be  delighted  to  find  this  hitherto  un 
attractive  pursuit  converted  into  a  science,  the  principles  of  which  are  definite  and  the  result* 
conclusive." — A'orth  American  Review. 

"  The  grand  idea  of  the  work  is  happily  expressed  by  the  author,  where  he  calli  it  the  geograph 
ical  march  of  history.  Faith,  science,  learning,  poetry,  taste,  in  a  word,  genius,  have  liberally 
contributed  to  the  production  of  the  work  under  review.  Sometimes  we  feel  as  if  we  were 
studying  a  treatise  on  the  exact  sciences;  at  others,  it  strikes  the  ear  like  an  epic  poem.  Now  it 
reads  like  history,  and  now  it  sounds  like  prophecy.  It  will  find  readers  in  whatever  language 
it  may  be  published." — Christian  Examiner. 

"  The  work  is  one  of  high  merit,  exhibiting  a  wide  range  of  knowledge,  great  research,  and  a 
philosophical  spirit  of  investigation.  Its  perusal  will  well  repay  the  most  learned  in  such  subjects, 
and  give  new  views  to  all,  of  man's  relation  to  the  globe  he  inhabits." — Silliman'i  Journal. 

COMPARATIVE  PHYSICAL  AND  HISTORICAL  GEOGRAPHY;  or,  the 
Study  of  the  Earth  and  its  Inhabitants.  A  series  of  graduated  courses  for  the  use  of 
Schools.  By  ARNOLD  GUIOT,  author  of  "  Earth  and  Man,'-  etc. 

The  series  hereby  announced  will  consist  of  three  courses,  adapted  to  the  capacity  of  three  dif 
ferent  ages  and  periods  of  study.  The  first  is  intended  for  primary  schools,  and  for  children  of 
from  seven  to  ten  years.  The  second  is  adapted  for  higher  schools,  and  for  young  persons  of  from 
ten  to  fifteen  years.  The  third  is  to  be  used  as  a  scientific  manual  in  Academies  and  Colleges. 

Each  course  will  be  divided  into  two  parts,  one  of  purely  Physical  Geography,  the  otner  for  Eth 
nography,  Statistics,  Political  and  Historical  Geography.  Each  part  will  be  illustrated  by  a  colored 
Physical  and  Political  Atlas,  prepared"  expressly  for  this  purpose,  delineating,  with  the  greatest 
care,  the  configuration  of  the  surface,  and  the  other  physical  phenomena  alluded  to  in  the  corres 
ponding  work,  the  distribution  of  the  races  of  men,  and  the  political  divisions  into  States,  «rc-,  ifc. 

The  two  parts  of  the  first  or  preparatory  course  are  now  in  a  forward  state  of  preparation,  and 
will  be  issued  at  an  early  day. 

MURAL  MAPS  :  a  series  of  elegant  colored  Maps,  exhibiting  the  Physical  Phenomena 
of  the  Globe.  Projected  on  a  large  scale,  and  intended  to  be  suspended  in  the  Recitation 
Boom.  By  ARNOLD  GOYOT [in  preparation] 

KITTO'S  POPULAR  CYCLOPEDIA  OF  BIBLICAL  LITERATURE.  Con 
densed  from  the  larger  work.  By  JOHN  Kmo,  D.  D.,  F.  S.  A.,  author  of  ';  The  Pictoral 
Bible,"  "History  and  Physical  Geography  of  Palestine,"  Editor  of  "The  Journal  of 
Sacred  Literature,"  etc.  Assisted  by  numerous  distinguished  Scholars  and  Divines, 
British,  Continental  and  American.  With  numerous  illustrations.  One  volume, 
octavo,  812pp cloth, 3,00 

THE  POPULAR  BIBLICAL  CrcLOP-sntA  or  LITERATCBE  is  designed  to  furnish  a  DICTIOXART 
OF  THE  BIBLE,  embodying  the  products  of  the  best  and  most  recent  researches  in  Biblical  Liter 
ature,  in  which  the  Scholars  of  Europe  »nd  America  have  been  engaged.  The  work,  the  result 
of  immense  labor  and  research,  and  enriched  by  the  contributions  of  writers  of  distinguished 
eminence  in  the  various  departments  of  Sacred  Literature, — has  been,  by  universal  consent, 
pronounced  the  best  work  of  its  class  extant;  and  the  one  best  suited  to  the  advanced  knowledge 
of  the  present  day  in  all  the  studies  connected  with  Theological  Science. 

The  Cyclopedia  of  Biblical  Literature  from  which  this  work  is  condensed  by  Q*e  author,  it 
published  in  two, volumes,  rendering  it  about  twice  the  size  of  the  present  work,  and  is  intended, 
•ays  the  author,  more  particularly  for  Ministers  and  Theological  Students ;  while  the  Popular 
Cyclopaedia  is  intended  for  Parents,  Sabbath  School  Teachers,  and  the  great  body  of  the  religions 
public.  It  has  been  the  author's  aim  to  avoid  imparting  to  the  work  any  color  of  tectartan  01 
denominational  bias.  On  such  points  of  difference  among  Christians,  the  Historical  mode  ot 
treatment  has  been  adopted,  and  care  has  been  taken  to  provide  a  fair  account  of  the  arguments 
which  have  seemed  most  conclusive  to  the  ablest  advocates  of  the  various  opinions.  The  Pictoral 
Illustrations  —  amounting  to  more  than  three  hundred — are  of  the  vety  highest  order  of  the  art. 


THE  MISSIONARY  ENTERPRISE;  a  collection  of  Discourses  on  Christian 
Missions,  by  American  Authors.  Edited  by  BAEON  Stow,  D.  D.  Second  thousand. 
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THE  KAREN  APOSTLE  ;  or,  Memoir  of  Ko-TnAH-Bru,  the  first  Karen  Convert. 
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Prof.  H.  J.KIPLEY.  ISino, cloth, ,25 

MEMOIR   OF  ANN    H.  JUDSON,    late  Missionary  to  Burmah.     By  Rev.  J.  D. 

KNOWLES.    A  new  edition.    Fifty -fifth  thousand.    18mo, cloth,....  ,68 

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caining  much  intelligence  relative  to  the  Burman  Mission.  By  Rev.  A.  KING.  With  an 
Introductory  Essay.  By  W.  R.  WILLIAMS,  D.  D.  New  edition.  12mo,... cloth,....  ,75 

MEMOIR  OF  HENRIETTA  SHUCK  ;  first  Female  Missionary  to  China.  With  a 
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Prepared  under  the  direction  of  the  AMERICAN  BAPTIST  MISSIONARY  UNION.  By 
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t&~  Letters  from  the  Missionaries  now  in  the  field,  and  who  are  the  best  qualified  to  judge 
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MISCELLANIES  ;  consisting  principally  of  Sermons  and  Essays.  By  J.  HARRIS,  D.  D. 
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"  His  copious  and  beautiful  illustrations  of  the  successive  laws  of  the  Divine  Manifestation,  have 
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THE  FAMILY  ;  its  Constitution,  Probation,  and  History;  being  the  THIRD  volume  of 
"  Contributions  to  Theological  Science."  By  JOHN  HARRIS,  D.  D [In  preparation 


WILLIAM    n.    MOOKK    <fe    ro's    PI'PT.Tr ATTOVS. 


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THE  PSALMODIST. 

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The  Psulrn*  of  Dr.  Watts,  which  is  the  basis  of  this  Collection,  are  given  without  alter 
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WILLIAM    IT.    MOORE    <fc    GO'S    PUBLICTATON3 

DUFFIELD'S  REPLY  TO  PROF.  STUART'S  STRICTURES 

On  his  recent  work,  on  the  Second  Coming  of  Christ,  in  which  his  (Prof.  Stuart's) 
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Presbyturiiin  Church  in  all  parts  of  the  world.  It  is  u  book  worthy  of  a  place  in  the  li 
brary  of  every  Evangelical  Christian. 

HUG'S  INTRODUCTION  TO  THE  NEW  TESTAMENT. 

Translated  from  the  Third  German  Edition,  by  DAVID  FOSDICK,  Jr.  ;  with  Notes  by 
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KITTO'S  CYCLOP/EDI  A  OF  BIBLICAL  LITERATURE. 

A  Cyclopaedia  of  Biblical  Literature.  By  JOBS  KITTO,  D.D.,  F.S.A.,  &c.  Assisted 
by  numerous  able  Scholars  and  Divines — British,  Continental,  and  American, 
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The  works  of  Horn,  Culmct  and  others  are  now  found  to  be  wholly  inadequate  to  the 
wants  of  the  student.  TtieooL-ical  science  is  progressive,  as  well  us  every  other ;  and  the 
"  old  learning"  of  the  "  Bible  Dictionaries"  which  have  lor  so  lonij  »  time  been  in  use,  is 
felt  to  be  unequal  to  the  advancement  of  mankind  at  the  presunt  time. 

The  efforts  of  the  Gorman  nationalists  of  the  Struuss  school,  to  resolve  all  the  facts  of 
Bible  History  into  myths  and  fables,  has  awakened  a  corresponding  spirit  of  research 
among  sound  and  Christian  scholars ;  a  determination  to  place  the  Scriptures  upon  a  baaig 


A 


THE  PSALMIST:  a  New  Collection  of  Hraxs  for  the  use  of  th«  Baptist  Churches  By 
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THE  PSALMIST,  WITH  A  SUPPLEMENT.  By  R.  FULLER,  and  J.  B.  JETER.— 
Same  price ;  style  and  size  as  above. 

THE  SOCIAL  PSALMIST  ;  a  new  Selection  of  Hymns.for  Conference  Meetings  and 
Family  Devotion.  By  BARON  STOW  and  S.  F,  SMITH.  ISiuo. sheep,....  ,25 

WINCHELL'S  WATTS,  with  a  Supplement.    12mo sheep,....  ,50 

32mo, sheep ,67 

WATTS  AND  RIPPON.    32mo, sheep,....  ,56^ 

ISnio,... sheep,....  ,88 

THE  CHRISTIAN  MELODIST  ;  a  new  Collection  of  Hymns  for  Social  Religious 
Worship.  By  Rev.  JOSEPH  BAHVAKD.  With  a  choice  selection  of  Music,  adapted  to  the 
Hymns.  18mo, sheep, ,37  >£ 

THE  SACRED  MINSTREL;  a  Collection  of  Church  Music,  consisting  of  Psalm  and 
Hymn  Tunes,  Anthems,  Sentences,  Chants,  &c.,  selected  from  the  most  popular  produc 
tions  of  nearly  one  hundred  different  authors,  hi  this  and  other  countries.  By  N.  D. 
GOULD, ,76 

COMPANION  FOR  THE  PSALMIST;  containing  original  Music,  arranged  for 
Hymns  in  "  The  Psalmist,"  of  peculiar  character  and  metre.  By  N.  D.  GOULD,.  ...  ,12)£ 


JEWETT  ON  BAPTISM.  The  Mode  and  Subjects  of  Baptism.  By  M.  P.  JBWBTT. 
A.  M.,  late  Minister  of  the  Presbyterian  Church.  Twelfth  thousand. cloth,. ...  ^5 

JUDSON  ON  BAPTISM.  A  Discourse  on  Christian  Baptism ;  with  many  quotations 
from  Pedobaptist  Authors.  By  ADO.MBAM  JUDSOX,  D.  D.  Fifth  edition,  revised  and 
enlarged, cloth,....  ,25 

ESSAY  ON  CHRISTIAN  BAPTISM,  By  BAPTIST  W.  NOEL.    16mo,... cloth, ,60 

BIBLE  BAPTISM.  A  beautiful  Steel  Engraving,  nine  by  twelve  inches  in  size,  repre 
senting  in  the  centre  a  Church  and  a  Baptismal  scene,  &c.,  and  in  the  margin  are  ar 
ranged  all  the  texts  of  Scripture  found  in  the  New  Testament  alluding  to  the  subject  oi 
Baptism.  An  elegant  ornamental  picture  for  the  parlor, ,25 


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